by Beva John
“Don’t you think attitudes like that are changing?”
“Perhaps a thousand years from now, but not now. The Council is for travelers not sitters. There will be no sitters or anyone with sitter ancestry on the Council.”
Until this moment, I had not considered the fact that I was half sitter.
Fahar continues, “We are the governing body for the five galaxies. We can’t let a species that destroyed their own civilization take part. Humans cannot be rulers. They are not capable of ruling.”
I am not ready to declare my ancestry, so I do not further the conversation. “I understand.”
He says cautiously, “And have you considered the candidate I suggested?”
“I have, and although I am tempted by your offer, I must say no. I must do my duty and remain the Crown Prince, nothing more.”
Fahar sighs. “I knew it was a slim possibility, but thank you for considering it, Your Highness.”
Later that day, I am approached by Serat.
I nod at him. “Twice meeting in one week. I am flattered. Do you have other government intelligence to share with me?”
“Actually, yes, sir.”
I motion for him to speak with me privately in my office.
Once the door is closed, he says, “This is for your ears only. The invitation for you to be on the Intergalactic Cooperative Council was instigated by your cousin Chell.”
“As a plot to take the throne?”
“Yes, sir.”
I am astonished. I trusted Chell and valued his opinions. I thought I had his full support. “He and Fahar have been in conversation?”
“Yes, sir. Several times over the past year. If the appointment went through, Chell promised to marry Fahar’s daughter.”
I should not be surprised. Everyone likes power. I turn to face Serat. “Why do I not know these things?”
“Historically, the intelligence community has always kept some information from the royal family.”
“No longer,” I tell him sharply. “I wish to be better informed. Arrange for a weekly briefing.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Does the Queen know about Chell?”
“No, sir. We felt that the Queen had enough problems to manage without her having to worry about a succession crisis after her death.”
I let my breath out slowly. “That makes some sense, but why are you telling me, now, instead of letting Chell succeed?”
“We needed to know where your loyalties lay – if you would take the position and abdicate the throne.”
“It was a test.”
“Yes, sir, but I never doubted you. I knew you would do what is best for Allathone. You are very much like your father.”
“Does the Prime know this?”
“No, sir. The succession is not his concern. His duty is to oversee the creation of law and it’s enforcement.”
My eyes narrow with suspicion. “What happens if I die unexpectedly? Will you then support Chell?”
Serat purses his lips. “Naturally, as individuals, we have our political preferences, but as an agency, we must support all branches of government – the Armed Forces, the Assembly, and the Monarchy.”
That tells me nothing.
Serat lowers his voice. “Trust us, sir. We will do everything in our power to protect your life and your succession to the throne.”
I suppose I must be satisfied with that, but the knowledge that all my communications are monitored makes me want to be even more cautious.
WHEN JING RETURNS FROM Lord Remton’s party, she avoids me. I know I have offended her, but I do not want to make amends. I bitterly regret choosing Jing as my fiancée and yet, who else would have met all the requirements?
Seeking solace and peace, I go to Lottie’s rooms. According to my reports, she is better now, having fully recovered from the miscarriage and the doctors say that she is ready to carry another child again. When I enter her suite, I see that she is feeding her birds. She sees me and puts down the bowl of food. “Your Highness.”
“How are you feeling?”
“I am fine, but I must apologize first. I am so sorry I went beyond the palace walls, putting myself and your child at risk. That was wrong and foolish of me.”
“No,” I assure her. “You are not a prisoner and you took your bodyguard. You were not foolish. We cannot prevent every bad thing that happens. Besides, the doctors have told me that the baby would not have lived long.”
Lottie nods. “I heard that, also. I am so sorry.”
I don’t want to discuss this any further, so I ask her about her birds instead. She explains that one has been gathering bits of string, so it wants to build a nest. Lottie says, “I am thinking of adding a nesting box. Naturally, the birds would be happier if they were set free, but some birds are able to nest in captivity.”
I cannot help but think of parallels between Lottie’s birds and herself. Does she ever feel like she is caged in the palace? Am I cruel to keep her when she would be happier free?
I say, “Perhaps you should let them go. Let them enjoy their short lives in freedom.”
Lottie says, “Of course, freedom has its risks. They could be eaten by natural predators. At least here in the palace, they are safe.”
I sit for a while, watching her. There is a silence between us, and Lottie says, “You seem troubled.”
“I am.”
“Perhaps you don’t wish to tell me, but I am willing to listen.”
I look at her. In some ways, Lottie has replaced Tomor as my closest friend. “Do you need to dismiss me and choose another surrogate?”
“No, it is not that. The doctors assured me that your health is fine and that you will be able to be a surrogate again.”
She smiles. “I’m glad.”
There is another long silence and then I say to her, “I have recently learned that my biological mother was not the Queen. Instead, it was my nanny. I am half human.”
Her eyes widen. “Is that even possible?”
“Yes, obviously. Apparently, there have always been a few interspecies or mixed-breed children.”
“But isn’t that against the law?’
“Not against the law, merely against custom. No, it is perfectly legal now.” Not precisely when I was conceived, but it is legal now.
“Forgive me, if this is inappropriate, but why would your father do such a thing, unless your birth was an accident?”
“No, it was planned. My father wanted me to be healthier than my older brothers and sister who died. And I am.”
She is quiet and I can see the warring expressions on her face. She says finally, “But you are troubled.”
“Yes. All my life, I have felt superior to Humans, and now I discover that I am half-Human.”
“If you are stronger, perhaps it is all for the best.”
“But that is not all. I don’t want to be Human – humans are impulsive and violent.”
Lottie brings her head back, tucking her chin slightly as if she is offended. “Not all of us,”
“No.”
“And whatever the influence of your ancestry, you are still who you are.”
She is right, I know. It should not matter that I am Half Human. I ask, “How would you feel if you discovered that you were half of a different race?”
Lottie considers the matter. “I don’t know. I would be surprised, naturally, and in my day, there was prejudice against anyone with darker skin, especially the slaves from Africa. But I would like to think that what is essential about me: my heart, my mind, my attitudes, and my beliefs would remain the same. Likewise, you are the same person you were before. The only thing that has changed is your knowledge of your parentage.”
Logically, I agree with that she is saying, but I feel like a completely different person. “That is not all I wished to discuss with you. Apparently, Jing and I are incapable of creating an embryo that will thrive. Therefore, I am asking you to be the biological mother of the next child.”
/> Lottie looks stunned, shaken. “Why?”
“The head of our Military and Civil Intelligence agency believes I am more likely to have a viable, healthy child, if that child is at least half human.”
“Will Brune society accept such a child?”
“I hope so. But truthfully, I don’t know. I don’t know if this will just bring on a civil war. But I do owe it to my people to have a healthy child if possible.”
“Rather than let your cousin inherit?”
“I have recently learned things about Chell that make me think he would not be a good ruler.”
Lottie considers what I am saying, then says, “I need time to think about this.”
“Yes, take whatever time you need. I know this is not a matter to be taken lightly.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LOTTIE
Rosalind is surprised to see me, but she graciously invites me into her apartment and provides bowls of tea. My bodyguards wait outside in another room, giving us privacy. After a few minutes, she asks why I am visiting, especially without Prince Magnar.
“I need your advice.”
“If I can help in any way, my dear, I will.”
I take a deep breath. “The Prince has asked me to be the biological mother of his next child.”
Rosalind nods. “I see.”
“I thought that since you did the same for his father, that you would be the best person to advise me.”
At this Rosalind is stunned. “How do you know this?”
“Prince Magnar told me.”
She takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I did not know that he knew.”
Oh, no. I should not have blurted that out. “I’m sorry,” I tell her quickly. “Forgive me. I should have let him say something rather than telling you myself. My understanding is that he just learned this recently.”
Rosalind says, “I see.”
I can tell that my revelation has shocked and upset her, but now that I have begun this conversation, I will continue it. “I hoped that you would be able to give me advice. Tell me whether I should do the same as you.”
Rosalind says, “I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. I was the surrogate for Princess Emjer as well. I watched the other children die.”
“That must have been heart breaking.”
“It was. So when King Tormag asked me to be the mother for his child, I agreed.”
“And no one else knew?”
“Other than the Royal Physician and two intelligence officers, no.”
“Was it difficult to keep the secret?”
Her eyes are damp with tears. “Yes.”
“But you were the Prince’s nanny, so you could see him every day.”
“Yes. I could love him and teach him like a mother, but without the recognition. It was enough for me.”
I don’t know if it will be enough for me. I never thought I would have children, but if I did give birth to my own baby, how could I let Lady Jing be his or her mother?
Rosalind, sensing my concern, says, “The universe is different now. Humans are much more accepted now. When I first came to Allathone, I might go months without seeing another Human, but now we are everywhere – in the market and on the streets.”
I’ve read that nearly ten percent of the inhabitants of Allathone are Human. “Did you ever regret your decision? You gave up your life for the Prince. You never married. You never had other children.”
“I have no regrets.”
I believe she is sincere, but can I settle for living as second best?
I also think of the phrase half a loaf is better than none.
Rosalind asks, “Do you love Prince Magnar?”
What a question. But she has been honest with me so I will be honest with her. “Yes, I do.”
“Then give him what he wants.”
AFTER I RETURN TO THE palace, Lady Jing calls on me. She is elegantly dressed in the latest Brune fashions which include a wide belt that emphasizes her narrow waist and swirls of color on her slim arms and forehead. Her bleached white hair is styled high on her head in an intricate design.
She has never made an effort to see me before, so I wonder what she wants.
As she sits in my sitting room, she looks at the birds with distaste. “Such dirty creatures. I don’t know why you would want them in your living quarters.”
I smile at her. “I find them fascinating.”
She gives me a look as if to say Humans are so strange.
I offer her refreshment, which she refuses. “I don’t intend to stay long.”
I think she is very rude, and I feel a twinge of sympathy for Prince Magnar being engaged to her.
She does, however, notice the marzipan in a glass dish on one of my side tables. “What is this?”
“Marzipan.” At her look of incomprehension, I add, “A Human candy. Those were made by Princess Emjer. Would you like one?”
She is shocked. “Why would she make candy for you?”
Lady Jing may become my queen one day, but I refuse to be intimidated by her, so I smile again. “We are friends.”
Lady Jing sniffs, expressing her disapproval, but she does taste one of the candies. She takes a tiny bite and then winces. “What an odd flavor.” She puts the rest of the candy back on the table, which would be considered ill-bred on Earth, but perhaps the rules are different on Allathone.
After this, she addresses me. “No doubt you are wondering why I called on you today.”
I wait.
“I want to use a new surrogate,” she says bluntly. “How much will it cost to convince you to resign your position and leave the Palace?”
This does surprise me. I say, “The Prince hired me, so he will decide whether I stay or leave.”
Lady Jing’s eyes narrow as she says sharply. “Don’t be a fool. Once our child is born –”
My child, I think, because I have already made up my mind to be the biological mother of Magnar’s child.
“And I am married to the Prince,” she continues. “He will be busy with government responsibilities and I will manage the household. You will not be the Nanny. You will be let go with no pension. Financially, it would be much better for you to take a payment now. What will it be? Is fifty thousand dits enough?”
I know that if I refuse her offer that she will become my enemy.
But I’ll be damned before I let her threaten or bribe me. I feel like Caesar crossing the Rubicon as I say, “I appreciate the offer, Lady Jing, but my answer is the same. If Prince Magnar wants me to be his surrogate, I will be his surrogate.”
I also know that if I am the mother of his child, the Prince will never abandon me. I choose to trust him more than this arrogant shrew.
Lady Jing glares at me. “Do not underestimate me. You have been very foolish, today, Human.”
She then storms out of the room, and I am left with my birds, wondering if I should have been more polite to avoid infuriating her.
IN THE MORNING, PRINCE Magnar comes to see me before I have finished my morning meal.
I rise from the table, but he motions for me to remain seated. He pulls over a chair and sits across from me. “I must apologize for the actions of Lady Jing. She had no business bothering you.”
“As your fiancé and the future mother of your children, she believes she has every right.”
Magnar lets out an exasperated sigh. “I wish –” he begins but then he catches himself and does not finish the sentence. Instead he says, “I do apologize. I hope that her rudeness has not made you decide to leave.”
“No, I am still here, and I plan to stay here as long as you want me.”
“Thank Goddess,” he says and smiles at me. “Last night Jing was ranting, and I did not know how you would react.”
“I am much sturdier than I appear.”
“I am glad.”
“And since you are here, I can tell you that I have decided to be the biological mother, if you still want me.”
&nbs
p; He reaches across the table to take my hand. “Excellent. Thank you, Lottie. How soon can we do this?”
“As soon as the doctors think I am ready, but I do have a few questions.”
“What do you need to know?”
“How exactly are we going to accomplish this? I would prefer artificial insemination, but I understand that your father actually had sex with your nanny.”
“Yes, but if you are uncomfortable with that, we can arrange for the conception with the doctors.”
“I would prefer it. Thank you.” I look directly into his beautiful dark eyes. I am calm now, but last night I cried, knowing that what I want I can never have. I love Magnar, but he is engaged to that horrid Lady Jing and he will marry her.
If all goes well, my child will be raised by them.
And as much as I would probably enjoy having sex with Magnar, it would devastate me. I can’t be the mistress, the harlot.
He looks at me as if concerned, so I add, “I know that virginity might not be important to Brunes, since you consider sex as common as teeth cleaning, but to me, it means more. Virginity is a symbol, and I would like to give that gift to someone I love. Someone who loves me and would cherish me for the rest of his life. Someone who would put me first.”
With all my heart, I wish Magnar could be that person.
But life is not a fairy tale and I am not Cinderella.
But still I watch him, holding my breath, wanting him to say, “I will be that male for you.”
He lifts my hand up to his lips and kisses it. “I respect your beliefs and wish they were more common on Allathone. Perhaps as more of our people become part Human, we will all become better travelers.”
My heart is breaking, but I will do what is best for Allathone. “I hope so.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
MAGNAR
I think the happiest day of my life is the day that I learn that Lottie is carrying my child. We have created a baby together. I want to shout it from the rooftop of the palace, but I content myself by telling Tomor via my data screen. “Goddess bless you, Magnar,” he says, then coughs for several minutes.
