Crave

by Karen E. Taylor

  “Victor,” I called after him, pleading for his return.

  His lifeless eyes caught mine and held them. “I hope you understand that this is all your doing, my dear.” The cruel words were delivered in a voice so devoid of emotion he might just as well have been discussing the weather. “Ultimately and undeniably your responsibility. That old bastard Max would have been proud of you.” Victor looked away and around the office; the finality of the gesture tore at my heart. “I’ll be in my room if anyone wants me.”

  The room was silent except for the ticking of the clock on the desk. Mitch and I stared at each other for a while, then both turned when we heard footsteps in the hall. Vivienne rushed in, breathless and tearful. “Was that Victor?” she asked in disbelief.

  “Yes, Vivienne, it was.” I felt myself warming toward her, now that I realized that she might not be in league with Larry Martin.

  “Mon dieu, what has happened to him?”

  “Ron is dead.”

  She nodded solemnly, “Oui, so I heard. That is why I came down here to Victor. Oh, the poor man, will he be all right, do you think?”

  “I doubt it,” Mitch said with certainty.

  “Then who will be in charge?”

  Mitch cleared his throat. “Surprisingly enough, Victor gave the job to me.”

  I looked at Mitch and my laughter was hollow. “You see, my love, I told you we would find a job to fit your abilities. But I had no idea it would be so soon.”

  “I’m glad,” Vivienne said with conviction. “It’s no surprise to me. You are young and powerful, Mitch. We all know this and admire you. You were the perfect choice.”

  “Well,” he looked embarrassed, but his tone was firm and commanding, “I don’t know how perfect I’ll prove to be, but I will try to get us all out of this in one piece. The first thing we need to do is call a general meeting.”

  “I’ll gather the house leaders for you, Mitch.” She glanced at the clock. It was barely one. “I assume you’ll want them here tonight, before another sunrise.”

  “That would be best, don’t you think?”

  “It will be difficult, but I will try to get them all together. Shall I tell them the council room at four?”

  “That sounds good. And thanks, Vivienne. Your support will be very helpful with the other leaders.”

  She laughed. “You’re welcome, Mitch, but don’t overestimate my influence with the Cadre. I am tolerated simply because of my age and my power. I am not as well respected as Victor, nor am I as feared as Max was. But I’ll give whatever support I can. I enjoy my life too much to want to end up a heap of ashes on a park bench.” She gave us each a small salute and rushed out the door and down the hall.

  “Amen to that,” I said.

  Mitch walked over to the desk and sat down in Victor’s chair.

  “How does it feel?”

  “Frightening. As if someone just told me I’d been elected president.”

  “Well, in a way, I suppose you have.”

  Idly, he flipped through the Rolodex on the top of the desk. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. But you know as well as I that this isn’t what Victor intended.”

  “True,” I agreed, “but who better to fight a rogue than another one? And now instead of having the Cadre at our throats, we’ll have them protecting our backs.”

  “I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Deirdre. But it would be nice to think so.”

  I curled up in one of the side chairs at Victor’s desk and took notice of the surroundings for the first time. The office was bleak and sparsely decorated, the walls were painted stark white and held only two adornments. One was a smaller representation of the large mural that hung in the judgment hall, depicting a medieval city by night. The second was the seal of the House of Leupold.

  The desk was easily the most impressive piece of furniture in the room. Made of solid mahogany, it was massive and solid, the top surface highly polished, reflecting in its gloss a small brass carriage clock and the Rolodex that Mitch had been inspecting, along with a desk calendar, blotter and telephone. The chairs were high-backed and covered with burgundy leather, and I thought, wiggling slightly, very uncomfortable.

  Through a door off to the right was another office. From what I could see, it was more modern and more comfortable. I got up from my chair and peered inside. This was where Ron had worked, no doubt. His death seemed unreal to me, and that fact saddened me even more. “Damn,” I swore softly and wiped the tears away from my eyes.

  “What’s the matter, Deirdre?” Mitch got up from the desk and came over to me, draping his arm around my shoulder and pulling me close to him.

  “Nothing. And everything.”

  “Strangely enough, I know what you mean.” He went back to the center of the office and picked up the box holding Max’s journals. “Let’s get out of here, for now. I have no desire to spend the rest of the night pawing through Victor’s desk.”

  “What are you going to do with those?” I asked him as we turned out the lights and left the office.

  “For now, they’ll stay with me. I’m the only one I trust enough to guard them. After the council meeting, we’ll put them down in the cells. Although I’m really hoping I’ll have a chance to read them soon.”

  We trailed back down the winding corridors to our room. I hesitated just a bit before opening the door; I no longer felt safe here. I wondered if I would ever feel safe again.

  Mitch set the box of journals down next to the bed. “We’ll catch him, Deirdre. And when we do, I’m going to kill him. You understand that, don’t you?”

  “I won’t stop you this time, Mitch. And if there are consequences for his death, I’ll take them, gladly. They’ll be worth it if we can rid the world of this monster.” I shivered as I caught a glimpse of the bouquet on the dresser. Then shivered again when I counted the red roses and found there were now only nine. “He was here again, Mitch, and there’s another rose missing. One more rose, one more death. I wonder who it will be this time.”

  “No one, if I can help it.”

  “And if you can’t, then what? At this rate I have only nine days to live.”

  “Deirdre, trust me. I won’t let anyone hurt you, ever. Between you and me and the Cadre we’ll find a way to catch him. I promise.”

  I said nothing, thinking that all I really wanted to do was to catch the next flight out of here. But I could not voice that thought. Running away, as desirable as it seemed, was not a good solution. Most of our current dilemma had been caused by my last escape from this city. This time I would stay and do it right.

  “So,” I said abruptly, changing the subject, “I take it you did speak with Chris.”

  Mitch ran his fingers through his hair. He was tired already, I could tell and the night was not yet over. “Yeah, I talked with Chris.”

  “And?”

  He scowled. “And just like you might expect, he hates you for turning me into what I am. He says he’ll try to kill you if he can; he seems to think that your death might return me to my normal state.”

  I laughed. “So now Chris wants to kill me, too? I’m becoming a very popular sport.”

  Mitch turned to me and grabbed me by the shoulders. “This is not a game, Deirdre. He’s serious. I asked him to consider seeking therapy.”

  “Therapy? Mitch, he doesn’t dare. If he were to tell anyone what his problem is, they’d lock him up in an institution and throw away the key. Just like they did to you.”

  “Except that because of that, there is now one highly qualified psychiatrist in the city who is also an expert on vampires. Or if not an expert, at least one who’s open-minded on the subject.”

  “Sam.” I was surprised I hadn’t thought of him. “Of course. And Chris already knows him and trusts him.”

  “His first appointment is Monday evening at eight. Sam thought it would be a good idea if you could be there, not visible and not actually in the office with them, but on-site somewhere so that you could be consulted if neces
sary. Although,” Mitch twisted his mouth into a half smile, “I suspect that Sam just wanted to have you there. He’s a real fan of yours.”

  “Jealous?”

  “Only a little bit. After the other day I have no doubts about you or your feelings for me.”

  I pulled in a deep breath and exhaled it, put my arms around him and hugged him tightly to me. “It’s the same for me. But it’s lonelier now, somehow, walking around in this body without you.” I began to cry, long racking sobs that had been pent-up for way too long.

  He rocked me back and forth for a while, stroking my hair. “I know, Deirdre, I know. Funny how it all worked out, isn’t it? We share the most incredible bonding experience that could ever be possible, and we feel more alone afterwards than ever before.”

  After a while my tears subsided and eventually he moved away and looked down at me. “Look at you,” he brushed his fingertips over my cheeks, “you’re a mess. Why don’t you get cleaned up and ready for the council meeting. I’m going to have a look at Max’s journals.”

  Chapter 21

  I’d always felt that there was nothing that a hot shower couldn’t cure. I turned out the bathroom light and closed the door, stripping off my clothes in almost complete darkness. The only light was the small strip that shone under the door, a calming reassurance that Mitch was nearby.

  Turning the knob to the hottest setting, I stepped into the tub and pulled the curtain shut. With the flow of the water over my body, I felt myself relax, felt a warmth spread through my chilled limbs. My mood lightened and I began to sing, softly at first and then with more confidence, enjoying the sound of my voice echoing off the walls.

  “Pack up all my care and woe, here I go, singing low. Bye, bye, blackbird . . .”

  I sang the whole song through twice, then once again. It had always been one of my favorites. The last time through, a lower voice from outside the tub joined in. “Make my bed and light the light, I’ll arrive late tonight. Blackbird, bye bye . . .”

  The addition of another voice made the entire experience much more sensual. The steam seemed to grow thicker, and the water felt alive, as if it had hands that were molding and touching my skin. The fragrance of the roses from the other room filtered in and I inhaled deeply. “Ahh, love,” I called over the sound of the water, “if you’re going to join me, you’d better get in here now. We’ll be out of hot water soon.”

  “That’s an invitation I’d never want to turn down, Deirdre.” Mitch’s voice sounded different, higher pitched than usual, but I shrugged it off to the poor acoustics of the room. “But I’m afraid I have some serious business to conduct. I’ll be back for you later.”

  “What?” I shook my wet hair and reached over to turn off the water. “What did you say? Mitch? Where are you going?”

  My only answer was silence. I pulled open the curtain at the same time the door was opened and the light switched on. I blinked my eyes at the sudden onslaught, and peered around me. Mitch stood in the doorway, staring at the red petals scattered on the tile floor.

  My eyes searched the room for a sign of someone else, but he had gone. Slipped in and out and delivered his message without either one of us knowing he was there.

  “Bloody hell.” Mitch reached out and folded me into his arms, paying no attention to the fact that I was sopping wet and soapy.

  My teeth were chattering and my whole body shivered. Larry had been in here with me, sharing the intimacy of the shower. Had he reached out and caressed me, under the guise of water and steam and mist?

  My mind screamed for escape. “We’ll never win, Mitch. He’s too powerful. If he can come in here, like he just did, without either one of us noticing, he can do anything. How can we ever hope to stop someone like that? We could go away, somewhere he wouldn’t be able to find us. Build our powers together so that we could match him. But it’s hopeless right now.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t give it up, Deirdre. Can’t just let him kill us all without a fight. There must be a way to stop him and we’ll find out what it is.” He reached over for a towel and wrapped it around my naked body protectively. “If it were just you and me, then maybe it would be different. But now I find myself responsible for the members of the Cadre as well. I cannot run away from this, as tempting as the idea is.”

  I sighed, the shivering subsiding as his arms and the towel warmed me. “I know, Mitch. I know. But I’m frightened. I’ve never been so frightened in my whole life. Because now I have something to lose, something that makes my whole existence worthwhile. Maybe Fred was right.”

  “Fred? What has he got to do with all this?”

  “Nothing, really, except for what he told Mark.”

  “Mark?” His mind seemed to blank on the name for a second. “Oh, yeah, Mark. The bartender at the Ballroom. What did he say?”

  “That when vampires fall in love, they lose their edge and their instincts.” I moved away from him, wrapped the towel completely around me and went out into the bedroom. Looking at the clock I saw that there were two hours left before the council meeting. “I need to think,” I said. “I need to be alone.”

  “But you shouldn’t be alone, Deirdre, who will protect you?”

  “The same person who always has, Mitch. I will protect myself. If I can’t do it, then quite honestly I don’t deserve to live.” I pulled the sweatshirt I had taken off back over my head and gave a low laugh. “It seems like all I’ve done all night is change clothes.”

  “I can’t let you leave, Deirdre.”

  I zipped up my jeans and stepped into my boots. “You can’t make me stay, either, Mitch. I have to go. I’ll be back, probably in time for the council meeting. But if not, go ahead without me. This is what you’re good at.”

  “But what if Larry finds you?”

  I laughed and pointed to the roses. “He’s not had any trouble doing that so far, has he? Don’t worry about me, Mitch, you need to watch out for yourself. I’ll be safe for a while. After all, I’m lucky enough to know exactly when my time is coming. Nine days from now, if we don’t discover a way to stop him, I’ll be dead. And all your promises and vows will not help.”

  I kissed him full on the lips. “Don’t worry about me, my love,” I repeated, “I’ll be fine and I’ll be back. I just need to approach the situation my way, not yours or the Cadre’s. Do you understand?”

  “Yeah, I do.” He hugged me to him and kissed me back. “I don’t like it much,” he acknowledged his standard answer with a small grin, “but I do understand. Keep in touch.”

  “Always.”

  “Well, Deirdre,” I said to myself as I hit the street, “where to now?”

  I didn’t have an answer for that, but I stood still for a moment, my face raised to the sky, my nostrils flared to better inhale the night air. Then I began to run. Abandoning all thoughts, I allowed my legs and my body to think for me, to carry me to where I needed to go. Street after street I ran, and block after block. Not knowing my destination, or even knowing whether one existed. It made no difference. I felt freed, as if I had just awakened from a coma and found that I was alive once again. I had been trapped within my thoughts, within my fears for too long, but now the spell had been broken and I was finally free.

  My feet slowed finally outside a grim brick building, the institution in which Sam worked. I laughed. Obviously there was something here that kept drawing me back.

  I flew up the steps and into the front door. “Hello,” I greeted the sleepy nurse at the desk, “Sam’s in, isn’t he?”

  She looked up at me with surprise. “Yes, he’s here. May I give him your name?”

  “No need,” I walked past her, “I know the way.”

  Without even knocking I flung open the door to his office. He jumped up from his desk, then relaxed when he saw me. “Deirdre, what an unexpected surprise.”

  “For me, also, Sam.”

  He gave me a questioning look. “What can I do for you?”

  “I don’t really know r
ight now. But something brought me here.”

  Sam looked puzzled. “Is it Chris?”

  “Chris?” I didn’t recognize the name for a second. “Oh, no, it isn’t Chris. That’s something to worry about tomorrow or the next day. For now, I just want you to listen while I tell you everything that’s been happening. That’s what you’re good at. And maybe you can give me a new slant on things. See something from a human perspective that the rest of us can’t glimpse.”

  I told him everything. It took me nearly three hours to recount the last week’s events. By the time I had finished he had filled half of a yellow tablet with scribbled notes. He had interrupted when he needed to, attempting to clarify events and emotions. Finally we both seemed satisfied and he put his pen down.

  “Busy couple of days, huh?” He smiled wearily. “I wish I’d had a full night’s sleep to filter this on, but I think I have everything.” He stood up from his desk and stretched, turning to the window and peeking through the venetian blinds.

  “It’s almost dawn, you know. Do you have enough time to get to shelter?”

  I shook my head. “I doubt it. Do you have a bed here I can use?”

  He laughed. “We’ve got plenty of beds, Deirdre, with doors and windows that lock tight. But I doubt it will serve as much protection for you.”

  “I don’t need protection, Sam, I just need a sunless room. I can take care of the rest. But I do have one other request.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Stay with me through sunrise. If I have another vision, I want you to be there with me. Maybe you can find out something that I can’t.”

  “No problem.” He reached into his top desk drawer and pulled out a set of keys. “Thanks to the cutbacks in mental health these days, we have half a wing sitting empty. I can put you there, it’s as safe as anywhere else.”

  “It will be fine, I’m sure. Shall we go?”

  He started for the door, then turned back and opened one of his desk drawers and pulled out his portable tape recorder. I raised an eyebrow in question. “I thought that if you did have this vision, that I might hypnotize you afterwards. We can get much better detail this way. You know you can trust me; I’ve recorded you before.”