The Diary of a Side Chick 6 (SCD)

by Tamicka Higgins

  “You sure you gon’ be okay tonight?” D’Mann asked. “I mean, after what happened and shit?”

  Desirae shrugged. “I’mma have to be,” she answered. “I mean…What else can I do? You said he pulled a knife on you and shit. I woulda did the same thing. What you gon’ do with his body, though? I mean, do you think that he gon’ have people that come lookin’ for him, seein’ that his car is outside of your house?”

  “I don’t quite know yet,” D’Mann said. “I mean, a nigga got his people comin’ through to help out in a little bit and shit, but we still ain’t one hundred on where and what we gon’ do with the nigga’s body. The nigga is kinda big, just so you know, since I know that you ain’t get a chance to see him.”

  Desirae felt glad that she hadn’t gotten a chance to see him. That could have made things even worse for her, especially since she knew that something had gone down in the basement and was choosing to not go to the police. At this point, the less she knew was probably the better. In light of such, she didn’t press the matter much with regard to what D’Mann would be doing with the body.

  “Let me ask you somethin’,” Desirae said, leaning over the consul. “You ever killed a nigga before?” In so many ways, she felt strange asking such a question.

  “I got into a shootout with this one nigga over on the east side one time,” D’Mann said, hesitantly. “I don’t know if a bullet hit him or not. It was back when I was nineteen and dumb and shit. Once me and the nigga I was with heard them police sirens ring out into the air, we got the fuck up out there and shit. Ain’t even look back. But, to answer your question, as far as I know, I ain’t kill the dude. At least, I never heard that he died or nothin’.”

  Desirae nodded, processing what she was being told. “I believe you,” she said. “I believe you.”

  For a long moment, Desirae and D’Mann looked at each other. Without thinking, they leaned toward one another and D’Mann kissed her. “I swear, I like you,” he said, putting on a fake country accent. “But, on the real, though, I promise that this shit ain’t gon’ affect you. I swear to God I would never do nothin’ that would put you or the lives of your little boys and shit at risk. I can already tell, from the talks we’ve had over the last couple days, that you a real chick. I feel bad about how them otha niggas done been doggin’ you out and shit.”

  “Oh, don’t,” Desirae said. Her eyes glanced down. “It’s my fault, really.”

  “Don’t say that,” D’Mann said. “And ain’t shit your fault, okay? You told me how that nigga treated you. I ain’t wanna say nothin’, but when you said his name, I think I know him.”

  “I know,” Desirae said. “I could tell. That’s why I changed the conversation around so quick. I could tell that you knew him, and I ain’t know what that meant. That’s why I been so quiet for most of the ride.”

  “Well, it’s a small world,” D’Mann said. “I can tell you that. Yeah, I know that nigga, Tron. Don’t he own some club over on the east side.”

  Desirae nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “That’s him. But how you know him?”

  “We used to stay into it when we was younger, actually,” D’Mann said. “Back then, we both was out in these streets, and I wasn’t doin’ as well as I’m doin’ now. He already was, and he was Mister Suave and shit. Had all the bitches on his dick, twenty- four seven. He used to say some slick shit when we would cross paths until one time, I had to let him know how the fuck a nigga should be talkin’ to another nigga. Since then, I ain’t really like that dude. I don’t know if he still makin’ money out here or what. Ain’t heard too much out of him except for that club. Actually, I ain’t even know that he owned the club and shit, until me and these niggas I used to know went up in there and saw him walkin’ around and shit, bein’ Mister Nice Guy. He ain’t even hardly say two words to me ‘cause he know that I still got a little chip on my shoulder from some of the shit he used to say to me.” D’Mann let out a deep sigh. “But, I’m all grown up now. Gotta learn to let that shit go. Ain’t got time to be gettin’ into with niggas at the club and shit like I used to.”

  Desirae looked into D’Mann’s face and was so sure she was looking into the eyes of a real man. From what she’d seen, D’Mann really didn’t want to be out in the light. In fact, he did seem like somewhat of a recluse. He also had some values that Desirae found admirable.

  “Don’t trip about all that,” Desirae said. “You just make sure you do what you gotta do tonight to get rid of that nigga’s body. And whatever you do, just make sure that you don’t wind up in jail or somethin’. I wouldn’t drive this truck ‘cause you know how the police are when they see us in somethin’ like this.”

  “Oh, I already know,” D’Mann said. “I done thought of that part already. I got this old hoopty I used to drive back before I bought my first new car. I already know that I’mma use that. It got tinted windows. One of them Cavaliers. You know, the cars that look like a little white girl car. Anytime I’m ridin’ around in that, the cops don’t never pull me over. But, look, you just go ahead and get your sons and shit from your cousin’s place. Don’t worry about me. I really ain’t mean for this shit to go down with you there. I see everything that you been through today, and I hate that I had to do that with you there. I swear to God, I really do.”

  Desirae showed her appreciation for D’Mann’s concern for her well-being as she climbed out of the car. D’Mann watched her walk around the front of his SUV then over to her car. She smiled and waved as she got inside. He then pulled away. Desirae could see the look on his face that he was going to be about business tonight.

  Once she’d fastened her seatbelt and started her car, Desirae could do nothing but lean back in her seat and take a few moments to think.

  “Did that shit really just happen to me?” she asked herself, out loud. “Was I really just over at his house when he killed some guy in the basement?” The scene played over in her mind – the moments in time when she’d been wedged behind that closet door in D’Mann’s bedroom. She recalled how fast her heart was beating when D’Mann was climbing the stairs, not knowing who had been doing the shooting and who had just taken a bullet.

  Desirae rested for a few minutes before she got herself together enough to head up north. On her way through downtown, she took in the lit city scenery. Having just been in a house where somebody’s life had been taken caused her to look at everything with different eyes, so to speak. She could already feel that she probably wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight. As if the humiliating and embarrassing fight on Saturday in her mother’s front yard wasn’t enough, she now had to deal with her emotions from knowing that she was falling for a guy she’d just met – a guy who, in the two days they’d known one another, had to take another man’s life to not only protect himself, but to also protect her as she was hiding upstairs in his bedroom.

  When Desirae pulled into the parking lot of Tiffany’s apartment complex, she hadn’t even thought of the rift she’d had with her cousin just days before. In fact, with everything that was going on at this point, how Tiffany was feeling was far back in her mind. Desirae parked her car and headed inside. Just as she had climbed to the top of the building steps, she felt her phone vibrating in her purse. It was Tiffany calling.

  “Hello?” Desirae answered.

  “Girl, I’m so sorry,” Tiffany said. “Just wait outside. I’m on my way right now, probably about ten minutes away. I had to run up to the hospital real quick, but it ain’t nothin’ serious. I’ll be there in ten minutes, so just wait outside for me.”

  “Okay, okay,” Desirae said. “I’ll be outside.”

  Desirae hung up the phone, knowing that this was another situation where Tiffany’s man Reggie must have been in the apartment with James and Titan. As much as she didn’t like the idea of her cousin leaving her children with some man she didn’t even know herself, Tiffany was the best that she could afford right now in terms of childcare. Just as Desirae was about to turn around and head back dow
nstairs, she decided against it.

  “I ain’t got time for her shit,” Desirae said to herself, snapping her neck. “If that nigga in there with my kids, so what? Tiffany ole insecure ass is just gon’ have to be in her feelings. I need to see my babies.”

  Desirae ignored Tiffany’s request for her to wait outside. She went ahead and approached Tiffany’s apartment door and knocked. Within seconds, the door opened, and Desirae was looking into Reggie’s cold, but sexy eyes.

  “Hey,” she said. “I ain’t come here to cause no problem. I just came here to pick up my sons and stuff. Tiffany just called and said that she was ten minutes away. She wanted me to wait for her and stuff, but I ain’t really got time for all that. I done had a long day and just wanna get my ass home.”

  Desirae brushed past Reggie, who stood to the side. He was dressed in black jeans and a blue, V-neck t-shirt. Standing there in silence, Reggie watched as Desirae moved around the living room and gathered up the things that belonged to Titan and James. No sooner than Desirae had packed her baby bag with everything she’d seen that belonged to her, the front door to the apartment opened. Tiffany came walking in, with a concerned look on her face.

  “What is goin’ on here?” she asked, looking at Reggie then Desirae.

  Desirae looked back at her cousin. “Please, girl,” she said, shaking her head. “Not today. With the day I done had, I really don’t feel like it. I swear I don’t.”

  “Feel like what?” Tiffany asked, clearly sounding defensive. “Desirae, I told you that I was just around the corner and that I’d be here in like ten minutes, if not sooner. You couldn’t even wait to come in here, could you?”

  “Girl, what are you talkin’ about?” Desirae asked. “How you gon’ try to stop me from seein’ my kids? Girl, what is wrong with you? Who do you even think that you are? And you one to be talkin’ about what I should and shouldn’t be doin’. If I recall right, I don’t remember you talkin’ to me about leavin’ my kids with some man that I don’t even know.”

  “I told you, Desirae,” Tiffany said, “my grandmother is in the hospital, girl. I have to go up there sometime.”

  “Okay, that’s fine,” Desirae said. “But that don’t mean that you gotta leave my kids like this. Go up there when you not watchin’ them.”

  “You can cut the little attitude out, Desirae,” Tiffany said. “Before I add to that fucked up face you got goin’ on right now.”

  Reggie cracked a smile and shook his head. Even he thought that Tiffany’s comments were a bit harsh. “Damn, Tiffany,” he said. “Why don’t you calm down? You always try’na think that somethin’ be goin’ on when don’t nothin’ be goin’ on at all.”

  Tiffany shook her head. “Naw,” she said, waving her finger in Reggie’s face. “Don’t you be the one to fuckin’ tell me that I need to fuckin’ calm down. I see the way you be lookin’ over her way just a little too hard. And I see the way she be lookin’ at you. I told you I don’t trust her.”

  “And I heard you too,” Desirae said, shaking her head. “Girl, I heard the bullshit you was sayin’ about me. When I came over to get Titan and James, I heard what the fuck you was sayin’ about me and shit, talkin’ bout how I’m just a hoe and stuff. Girl, you couldn’t have it further from the truth than some stuff like that. I ain’t no hoe.”

  “Girl, yes you is,” Tiffany said, not caring one bit how Desirae felt. “And I know that if I wasn’t here right now, you’d prolly drop to your knees and suck his dick. Girl, don’t you know that practically the whole damn family can see through that little sweet girl act you got goin’ on.” Tiffany stepped a few steps closer to Desirae. “So, how did it really happen?” she asked. “How did your face wind up so fucked up? Who man you fuck that they came back and used that face as a punchin’ bag?”

  “Tiffany, what is wrong with you?” Desirae asked, picking her bag up. “Is you really just that jealous of me to think that I would ever make a move on some nigga that belong to my cousin?” She looked at Reggie and the bulky, chocolate goodness that he was, even though he was only standing in place. “I don’t want your man anyway. I wouldn’t do that to you. Based on how you actin’, I can tell that you would prolly die if he were to ever leave your ass. What is that dick to you? Your damn life support and shit?”

  “Bitch, fuck you!” Tiffany said. “Girl, the only reason I agreed to watch them little ugly ass babies of yours is because Auntie said I should do it since you the struggling, broke bitch in the family.”

  “Ugly?” Desirae said, holding her hand up to her chest and shaking her head. “Whose babies you callin’ ugly? If anybody ugly up in here, it’s you, Tiffany. Hate to break it to you, girl, but it’s the truth. That’s why you so mad that I came up in here when your nigga was up in here. Cause you know it wouldn’t take much for anybody – and I do mean anybody – to come right along and take your man from right up under you.” Desirae looked Tiffany up and down, noticing that she probably hadn’t made much effort to even try to stay in shape since popping out her several children back to back. “I mean, let’s keep it real. Who you foolin’?”

  “Girl, get the fuck out my face,” Tiffany said. “I swear, just get the fuck out my face. I know you came runnin’ up here so you could have a little more time with my nigga, so you could probably get him to look at you and get his number or somethin’. Girl, I know your type. Just get the fuck out my house before I jump on that ass. There is just somethin’ about you that I can’t really stand bein’ around, I swear.”

  “Beat my ass then, bitch!” Desirae yelled. “Beat my ass then if you really about it.” She held her arms open.

  Tiffany began to make her way across the room to Desirae, but Reggie stepped in the way. He now stood between the two of them, moving side to side when he needed to, as long as one could not get to the other. Curse words spilled out of Tiffany’s mouth and rolled over Reggie’s muscular shoulders.

  “Damn, Tiffany,” Reggie said. “You trippin’. Girl, you know I love you.”

  Tiffany pushed Reggie back. “Nigga, please,” she said. “You sure wasn’t talkin’ about how much you love me when you was textin’ that one nigga about Desirae’s ass and shit. You know you be lookin’ a little too hard at her.” She looked at Desirae. “And you know she’ll open her legs for any nigga that got a big enough dick.”

  Desirae snickered and shook her head as she picked up Titan then James out of the crib. “Girl, you crazy,” she said. “I mean, for real. You got self-esteem issues.” She laughed out loud. “All I do is walk in the door and got some ole insecure bitch comin’ for me like I done really did somethin’ to you or somethin’.”

  Desirae walked up to the apartment door and pulled it open.

  “Fuck you!” Tiffany said. “For real, fuck you. You lucky you carryin’ them babies or else I’d be out in the hallway and draggin’ that ass down them steps and around the parkin’ lot.”

  Holding Titan and James, Desirae marched out into the apartment building hallway.

  “And I suggest you find somebody else to watch them little niggas,” Tiffany said. “I already know what you about. And I can’t trust you with what I got goin’ on up in here.”

  “Girl, whatever,” Desirae said. “You petty as shit. I ain’t got time for this mess.”

  Desirae walked down to her car, not looking back. At this point, she never wanted to see Tiffany again in her life. She was so angry with her cousin that once she’d gotten Titan and James into their car seats, she got into the driver’s seat and took a moment to breathe.

  “Fuck!” Desirae yelled, not caring who might be in the parking lot or standing nearby. “I just can’t catch a break, can I?”

  As Desirae pulled out of Tiffany’s parking lot and onto 16th Street, the weight of what had just happened began to fall on her head. In fact, she felt like the world was falling on her head. It didn’t take her long to realize that not only had she lost, or given up, her job at Family Dollar, but she had also just lost the most a
ffordable childcare option she had. And the last place she really wanted to send Titan and James to was one of the state-run daycares. It wasn’t that they weren’t up to standards to take care of newborn twins; she and Tron had agreed they wanted the babies to stay with someone they knew since Desirae wasn’t going to be able to stay at home and not work for a year. Her mind zipped through what options she had – a route that led her to nowhere, as she didn’t have any family members in town who would have the time, and wherewithal, to watch Titan and James for what she could afford to pay them.

  “Why she have to go and fuck up my situation?” Desirae asked as she thought about Tiffany. “Fuck, this shit is fuckin’ ridiculous.”

  Desirae had been talking too loudly and forcefully. Titan woke up and began to cry, then James did the same. Desirae leaned her hand on her folded arm while driving with one hand. She could feel her headache get stronger. Hearing the gunshot in the basement just hours earlier was still too fresh on her mind to even begin to put it aside and try to act as if it didn’t happen. Now, when she passed dark, empty parking lots, paranoia would set in. She felt as if at any moment one of the lurking police cars would swing out of a parking lot and jump on her tail.

  Desirae wondered if she should have just made a run for it and never responded to another text message from D’Mann. In fact, the more Desirae thought about it, the more it made sense to her. D’Mann didn’t know where she lived or who she hung out with. She then bit her lip, thinking about how she’d slipped up and said Tron’s name.

  “Why the fuck I do that?” Desirae asked herself. She then shook it off, realizing that she wouldn’t tell a man anything she really didn’t want him to know. Whatever her feelings were regarding the situation in the basement, Desirae still had to keep it real with herself. There was something about D’Mann that was pulling her to him. He had swag, but was unsophisticated, in a good way. He could speak well, but didn’t sound like a nerd or lame. He was smart enough to have a front rather than be just another one of these guys out in the streets selling drugs, purchasing cars, and having no source of income to show for it.