Scars and Songs

by Christine Zolendz

  I could feel her breath quicken beneath my hand and slowly, I slid my fingertips away from her lips and brushed them softly down her chin and neck. Her lips parted, waiting, hands gripping the front of my shirt tightly. In one quick move, I flipped her under me, onto her back, and reached my hand up to brush my thumb along her bottom lip. I pressed my body tightly against hers, while she ran her fingers along my jaw, over my cheeks and through my hair. I just about died when she pulled her knees up to my hips and wrapped her long smooth legs around me.

  “Grace Taylor, I am going to kiss you right now and you are not going to run away from me, because you have no excuse now. Then you are going to go back upstairs to bed and all you are going to think about are my fucking lips on yours and nothing else. Not strange men that want to hurt you, or buy you drinks, not Ryan, not Tucker, not even Ethan. I swear to you, Grace, I will not let you think of anything or anyone else until I put my lips back there again. Only mine.”

  Brushing my mouth across hers, her breath quickened and her lips smiled wide before she wrapped her hands around the back of my neck and I crushed my lips against hers. Our lips moved against each other, slow and needy. A soft low whimper escaped from between her lips as we deepened the kiss.

  She clawed at the bottom of my shirt, frantically pulling it up over my head. Our lips broke contact for a second, a low growl tore from my chest, and I slammed my lips against her when I was free of my shirt. God, I wanted her. I ground my hips into hers and a sweet as hell moan purred out of her lips. I wanted to hear her moan my name. My hands burned to rip her little pajama bottoms off so I could bury myself deeply inside her. I wanted to spend the rest of the night worshipping her body with my tongue, to taste every single inch of her silky soft flesh.

  I lost myself between her lips, wrapped in her legs, in the soft whimpers that slipped from her swollen wet lips, in the tremors that hummed through her body. God, I loved feeling her shiver beneath me; I craved making her quake more.

  Now I could. I could love her and worship her. I could kiss her and taste her. I could have her completely, because I was human now. There would be no punishment this time.

  My fingers moved in slow circles over her. Her lips glided smoothly against mine, with each small flicker of my tongue, her body rocking against mine. I licked and kissed across her jaw and down her neck. She whimpered when I lifted her shirt and took one of her rock hard nipples into my mouth.

  She softly trailed her fingertips down my chest, over my stomach and under the waistband of my pants. Her warm hand wrapped around me and slid up and down my swollen skin. “God, Grace,” my voice croaked. I knew I had to stop this from going any further. But, damn her hands pumping up and down on my cock felt good. Fuck, I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to feel what it was like inside her. I bit down softly on her nipple, and the sexy as sin moan that escaped her lips made me rock harder against her hand. What the hell was wrong with me? I squeezed my eyes shut tight and cursed myself under my breath. Where the hell was my self-control?

  I placed my hand over hers and tugged it reluctantly out of my pants. We looked at each other panting, breathless, her eyes questioning and beautiful.

  “Go back upstairs, Gray, and go to sleep,” I rasped.

  She smiled up at me and bit down on her bottom lip, “I sure as hell don’t want to, Shane.”

  I softly ground my hips into hers one last time and placed both my forearms on either side of her head. I leaned down and nipped her lips, then pulled her over me and sat us both up, her legs straddling mine. “Grace,” I whispered skimming my fingers over her moist lips. “I want to be inside you so damn bad right now. But when I do that, I want to hear you scream my fucking name as you claw your nails down my back. You can’t do that here.”

  “I’m never getting to sleep now,” she giggled.

  “Baby, I’m going to be taking a cold shower for weeks after this,” I teased.

  “You know, I’ve noticed since I’ve met you, that doesn’t really work too well,” she said as she stood up and fixed her shirt.

  “Remember tonight…for it is the beginning of always,” I whispered as I watched the pale moonlight stream through the window and fall against her skin.

  “Dante Alighieri, Shane?” she giggled as she made her way to the stairs.

  “Shut up and go to sleep, Grace.”

  As she reached the first step, she turned towards me once more. God, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. She touched her fingers to her lips, smiled and walked up the stairs.

  “I found whom my soul loveth: I held her, and would not let her go…Song of Solomon, Grace,” I whispered into the darkness.

  Chapter 24

  Pure chaos is what the Rossi’s house was like in the morning. Conner and I sat cringing at the breakfast table as music blasted, neighbors stopped by and food was thrown. The closer it got to lunch, the crazier it got and right after lunch the four of us were desperately trying to get the hell out of that house and away from the madness. However, the only thing I could really focus on were Grace’s lips.

  I cornered her against Lea’s bedroom door and whispered hotly into her ear, “Got plans for the rest of the day?”

  “No plans,” she whispered sliding her hands up my arms.

  “Good. I want to spend the rest of the day with you. Want to go for dinner?” I asked.

  “I’d love to,” she squeaked. “I, um, was going to ride the bike back and leave the Jeep here. Do you feel up to riding or do you want to take the train back to the city with Lea and Conner?”

  I touched my hand to her cheek and brushed away a loose strand of hair tucking it gently behind her ear. “There’s no way I’m missing out on a ride between your legs all the way back to Manhattan.”

  Her eyes dilated. “Um, yeah. I’m ready to go right now, then.”

  I pressed myself against her warm body and kissed her deeply. I pulled roughly at her hips, hoisting her legs to wrap around me as I pushed her up against the door. The heavy ache to be inside her was building into an obsession. I slipped my fingers under the material of her sweatpants and plunged my hands beneath, cupping her bottom so she wouldn’t fall.

  She gave me a deep groan, “Oh, Shane.”

  The way her voice whimpered my name caused a low noise deep in my throat and I slid my fingertips under the fabric of her lacy panties. I skimmed them against her skin. Beads of sweat burst across my forehead when she pulled her head back and bit her bottom lip, trying to silence her soft whimpers.

  “Fuck. Grace. You. Are. So. Wet.” I growled into her lips. I pulled the thin lace, holding it tightly, desperately wanting to rip it from her skin. “We have to get the hell out of here or we’re going to end up having the whole Rossi clan and the neighbors watching me have my way with you.”

  Dropping her legs from my waist, she grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled her mouth roughly to meet mine. “That’s not making me want to stop anything.”

  I ran my hands over her bottom, slid them up her sides and up to her breasts, moving my thumb in soft circles over her nipples. “We need an entire night to start exploring each other like I want to, not five intense minutes against Lea’s door.”

  “An, entire night, huh?” She teased. “You’ve given this a lot of thought?”

  I leaned my forehead against hers, our breathing evening out, slowing. “Since I first laid my eyes on your silver ones.”

  We left as soon as we could, waving our goodbyes to Lea and Conner at the entrance to the subway, as we roared past them on the bike.

  With her arms wrapped tightly around my waist, the ride was simply intoxicating. Smelling the air, feeling the rapid shift of temperatures, and the sensation of her body wrapped around me was overwhelming. Our bodies moved together while the engine roared and vibrated under us. Back and forth, leaning, swaying, accelerating, and braking. Everything was in harmony, the ground, the bike, us. Us. The way it was always supposed to be. My mind went quiet and it was easy to lose mys
elf to the moment. I ran my hands up and down her legs to keep her warm and just to keep reminding myself that she was real.

  We coasted along the East River to Long Island City’s Water’s Edge Restaurant. The restaurant was home to huge open bay windows along the entire side of the wall that faced the city; the view was breathtaking. The Manhattan skyline was almost as stunning as Grace’s wind swept hair and flushed cheeks when she took off her helmet.

  Holding hands, we were seated right in front of the huge windows. I ordered a bottle of wine and we sat across from each other staring, lost in each other’s eyes. Neither of us let go of the other’s hands, even when the wine arrived.

  “I’m glad you cancelled on Ryan,” I whispered to her.

  “Yeah, why is that?” she asked, teasing.

  “I told you before, Grace. I want to kill any man that looks at you.”

  “You remember saying that to me?”

  “I remember everything, Grace.”

  I watched the turmoil in her expression. I watched fear wash over her features. In that moment, I wanted to tell her who I had been, I wanted her to know the real me, but I knew I couldn’t. Michael told me not to. Michael told me to have her love me for what’s left of me; not for the part of me that’s gone.

  “Everything?” She whispered back.

  “Yeah, Grace. Especially the part when I asked you to try to find whatever it was you were looking for in me.”

  She gulped down the entire glass of wine. “Shane,” she breathed. “You are all I can see right now.” Shaking her head, she blinked her eyes as if she was trying to shake herself awake from a dream. Then she plunged the knife in, “Crap, it’s like I’m one of your groupies, right? I understand it now though, all the girls and what they were thinking, I mean, damn, Shane. You treat a girl like this and she’ll definitely get the idea that it’s okay to give herself to you for a night.”

  “You still don’t get how I feel about you, do you?” I whispered.

  Grace offered me a small shrug and gulped down more wine.

  “Is that what you think I want, just one night?” I asked her.

  “Isn’t it?” She whispered.

  “No, Grace. Not with you,” I answered. “And I’m sure going to have fun proving that to you,” I winked at her.

  Grace’s body stilled, and then a shiver seemed to pass over her. Those silver eyes grew large and her cheeks flushed five shades of crimson. The rest of our dinner was full of us holding hands, touching each other, and jumping on her bike to rush home to be alone.

  I drove up and backed into a small space between two cars in front of her building. Just as I was about to get off the bike, Grace unstrapped her helmet, threw it on the ground and slid her entire body against mine. I fumbled and tore at my helmet strap as she slammed her lips hard against my lips. Letting my helmet fall, it bounced and rolled along the edge of the sidewalk. Its echo danced against the buildings and silenced the city around us.

  My hands slipped under the sides of her jacket and under her shirt; the heat from her body burned against my fingers setting me on fire. I slid them slowly down, settling on the sweet curves of her ass, my heart pounding hard in my chest. She squeezed her thighs tighter around me and grabbed fistfuls of my hair. Whimpering my name, she unzipped my jacket and glided her hands under my shirt and up over my chest. Our mouths were hard and raw against each other’s. Falling together and pulling apart, tongues sliding roughly, as if we couldn’t taste enough of one another. Cupping her bottom, I stood up, her legs still wrapped around my waist, digging her heels into my back. My cell phone vibrated in my front pocket and she rocked her hips against it. Damn, that was hot.

  I growled, gripping my fingers tighter. “I need to be inside you,” I breathed into her mouth. I climbed off the bike carrying her, kissing her lips, her neck, her jaw, clutching her tight against the front of my body. My mind was insane with lust. I needed to take her into the damn building before I slid myself inside her on the seat of the bike on a New York City street. I never needed someone that much, ever. I couldn’t think straight, all I could feel was the smooth hot skin under my hands and all I could hear were the low whimpers and moans of my name. That was my world.

  Carrying her up the steps, I fumbled and slammed her back against the front door; she moaned deeply into my mouth. I pulled my head away and stared at her closed eyes. Her lips were parted, and she was panting.

  I leaned forward, pressing her harder against the door and nipped her earlobe between my lips, giving her a sharp little bite. I nipped down her neck, scraped my teeth against her jaw and raked them up again to her ear. “Keys. Now.” I growled.

  She reached around into her pocket, all the while giggling. Pulling out her keys, she wiggled them in front of me and brushed her lips against mine. “Take me in, Shane. Please,” she whispered against my lips.

  Holding her up against the door with my hips, I grabbed the keys, slammed my lips back onto hers. I jammed the key into the door, missing the keyhole a few times, until I finally opened it and we stumbled through the doorway. I kicked the door closed behind us, leaned her up against the wall in the entryway and slid the zipper of her jacket down. I needed her clothes off, now.

  “Um. Hey guys!” Lea’s IRRATING voice cut in.

  Grace froze. Screw that, I kept kissing her lips. She turned her head towards Lea and I kissed her cheeks and her neck, sliding her coat off her shoulders. I wasn’t going to stop, oh hell no. I needed in. Screw it, Lea could watch for all I cared.

  Lea cleared her throat, you know, the one I wanted to strangle at this point, “Wow. I do hate to stop this beautiful thing that’s about to happen, but Conner and Ethan have been trying to call you, Shane, for like an hour already.”

  Barely able to breath, I fixed my glare on Lea. “Get to the point, Lea. Is someone either dead or in jail?” I asked, pulling out my phone and reading through the text messages.

  Lea brows lifted. She took a deep breath, shook her head and blew it out loudly, “No, worse. Vixen4 just showed up at your apartment and they needed a place to crash. And crash your place is exactly what they seem to be doing right now. I’m sorry, Shane.”

  This shit doesn’t make sense. The guys could handle the girls of Vixen4. I gritted my teeth together, I did not want to leave Grace at all.

  All the messages were from Alex pleading for me to come home. All but one. One was from an unknown number.

  Unknown: You can’t have what’s mine. Meet me outside, or I kill off your band one by one. G.

  “Damn, I forgot Ethan told them they could stay with us.” I looked at Grace trying to explain, sliding my hands down her arms, “They’re a handful.” I’m going to kill Gabriel, then come right back here. I raked my hands through my hair. “Grace, I…”

  Biting her bottom lip, she leaned forward and whispered deep into my ear, “Will you try your best to come back tonight? You have to finish what you started, Shane. I’ll try to wait for you…”

  I’m going to kill Gabriel.

  Kill. Him.

  As calmly as I could, I cupped my hands around the back of Grace’s neck and pulled her lips up to mine. I nipped her bottom lip between my teeth and tugged gently, “God, baby. You are delicious. I’ll try my best. If not, nine o’clock practice tomorrow. Vixen4 will be doing studio time after us.” I didn’t want her to feel the anger shaking off my body or the intense hatred I had for the one being who had managed to hurt us for so long. I needed to put an end to the game he was playing. “I’m going to need to throw a bucket of ice down my pants,” I lied as I slipped out the front door. I didn’t need a cold shower, Gabriel’s words had already done the job.

  Chapter 25

  The anger in my body boiled as I ran down the front steps of her apartment. Then a dark form moved quickly out of the shadows and quickly intensified into the solid figure of Gabriel. Passing through the fence, cars and motorcycle, moving toward me expressionless, as if he hadn’t a care in the world. Not yet realizing h
is death by my hand was moments away.

  “Tsk, tsk. Shane, I can feel your anger and fury like the weather. I always loved how humans demonstrated their weaknesses so publicly. Are you really planning to try to take my life? My existence? And as a human, how would you accomplish that feat?”

  “Fuck you, Gabriel.”

  “Yes. Perhaps that might leave a scar.”

  Gabriel was in front of me instantly, hands grasping the collar of my jacket and dragging me into a small alleyway a few yards away from Grace’s apartment building. He shoved me into the shadows of the buildings and I tumbled nosily into a couple of metal garbage cans that lined the alleyway.

  I struggled to get up, my hands flexing and clinching at my sides. “You really think I won’t fight you for her? You think I’m going to give up so easily?”

  Spreading his ancient wings across the dark walkway, he stood before me and glared down at me. His eyes were wild, dark, tormented and so fucking haunted. “She’ll never love a dreg of life junkie womanizer like you, Shane. And I’m going to make sure she sees you for what you truly are. You’re not the angel that she wants, you’re nothing.” Slowly, he removed something from one of his pockets, and angled his hand, hiding whatever it was from my view.

  Anger seized me, my fists shook with rage and I wanted to throttle him like an animal. I shoved my hands against his chest, pushing him back, “I will fight for her. And I will win.”

  His hand, like a steel grip, claimed my throat and panic swept through me. Lifting me with one hand and holding me above the ground, he rammed a syringe into my jugular, shoving filth into my veins. Yanking the empty needle out of my neck, he dropped me to the ground and smiled down at me. Euphoric heat surged through my veins.

  “Gabe, you’re not fighting fair…” I lazily smiled up at him as the high gushed through my body.

  “That should be enough heroin to kill that pretty-boy shell you call a body. Twice over. Grace will only know you as the has-been drug addict you were. They won’t find your body until morning, little brother. By that time, I’ll have Grace wrapped around my fingers, Pretty-boy.”