by Cathryn Fox
His jaw tightens and I brace myself because I know what’s coming next. “You don’t have to go back you know,” he says.
I look away from him, anger erupting inside me. “Yes, I do.” I say the words out loud as I cut the mental connection between us.
“Pride—”
“Haven’t we lost enough, already?” I ask, trying to keep my voice from rising to the point of hysteria as the others begin to stir around us. “Our childhood, our parents, our freedom?”
I glance back at him in time to see silver shards bleed into his black pupils. “We could end up losing more,” he warns.
My stomach rebels when I see the raw, tortured look on his face, his worry hitting like a fist to my gut. I suck in a hurried breath and it’s all I can do to inflate my lungs.
“And we could end up winning,” I counter, sounding more breathless than I would have liked. “Either way, you know we have to try. I’m not about to walk away from Logan’s family. They’re missing because of me, Stone.” I wave my finger back and forth between the thin column of space between our bodies. “Because of us.”
The air between us charges, a volatile eruption of emotion that neither of us can keep in check. I’m sure anyone within a fifty mile radius can feel it, and if we don’t get it under control it will surely trigger a reaction from the wolves around us. Stone fists his hands, his predatory glance going from me, to Logan, back to me again.
“Logan never should have let you go back to the compound. You were finally safe. He should have ensured you stayed that way. It only proves that he can’t take care of you the way I can, Pride.”
When I sense his mounting fury, I work to keep my own anger in check and try to reason with him, but as I do it simply reminds me that he’s been imprisoned his whole life and is reacting the only way he knows how.
“First,” I say in a calm voice that belies my emotions, “It wasn’t Logan’s choice to go back, it was mine. And I wasn’t safe, Stone, inside the compound or out. What happened here proves that.” I wave my hands around. “I could have been a part of all this. None of us will ever be safe until we stop the PTF.” I lower my voice, and add, “Besides, did you really think I’d leave you there, to suffer at the hands of the master while I ran around free?” I give a slow shake of my head. “Maybe you don’t know me so well, after all.”
“You’re wrong, Pride. I know you better than anyone knows you, maybe even better than you know yourself.” He goes quiet for a long time, then his voice is dark, grief-stricken, and completely possessive when he finally says, “I let you walk away from me once. But you came back and now that we’re together again, I won’t be able to let you do it a second time.” He exhales slowly and adds, “I can’t.”
When I hear the need in his voice, a storm rolls through me and my gut clenches. “Stone, please. Don’t.”
“I can’t, Pride.” He gives a slow shake of his head. His hair falls forward to mask his eyes, but it does nothing to hide his emotions when he says, “I won’t be able to make it through it. Not again.”
His grief penetrates my heart as he pulls his legs up to rest his elbows on his knees. Without conscious thought I reach over and brush the hair away from his eyes. But when I do, a deeper emotion that he can no longer hide from me moves over his face.
His hand closes over mine to still it, and his palm is warm against mine as he holds me tight. “I don’t want you to go back, Pride. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
I blow a wayward lock off my face, and with more bravado than I feel I announce, “Nothing will happen to me.”
There is desperation in his voice, a level of anxiety I’ve never heard from him before when he counters with, “You can’t say that.”
“I’m going back,” I say firmly, then sit quietly, my lips pinched tight as I give him time to let that settle in his brain.
He grits his teeth and the laugh lines playing along his mouth deepen—not that his life has given him much to laugh about.
I can feel his blood run cold when he says, “Then I’m coming with you.”
We sit there for a long time, lost in thoughts while we stare at each other. Heat radiates from his hand to mine, but I still can’t shake the coldness inside me. Then, a distant voice breaks the moment and has my thoughts jolting back to the present.
“Pride?”
My head jerks up to see Logan staring at me. He rises to his full height, and drives his hands into his pockets, pulling his pants low on his hips. Watching his hands has me thinking of my own and I instantly pull away from Stone’s protective hold and hurry to my feet.
“Everything okay?” he asks, his voice full of dark suspicion as he zeroes in on Stone.
Dry gobs of cotton clog my throat and it forces me to push the words past my lips. “Everything is fine,” I manage to get out as I move toward the sink for a drink. I draw a shaky breath and continue with, “Stone was just telling me he is coming with us.”
I walk past Logan, and my primal side bristles as his warm earthy scent, one that reminds me of clean morning air and fragrant pine needles, wraps around me. I know it’s an instinctive reaction, my female wolf responding to the boy she once mated with because the waning moon is still affecting her.
Logan and Stone glare at one another for longer than what’s comfortable, then Logan looks at me as the wolves around him begin to stir. The concern brimming in his blue eyes touches a soft spot deep inside me and forces me to look for a distraction. I swallow my water in big gulps and it helps me get myself under control.
Logan steps toward me and his voice is low when he says, “We’re all coming with you, Pride. I thought you understood that.”
“No,” I blurt out, not wanting anyone else to get hurt because of me. “It’s not a good idea.”
I spin back around and when I see the respect and strength in his eyes as they lock on mine it reminds me that these wolves—ones who live so differently from what I’m used to—are pack animals, ones who live and die together. Unlike most of the wolves I’ve been imprisoned with my entire life, this family takes care of each other, and will do what it takes to keep all members of the group safe.
I give a hard shake of my head. “Sandy’s in no shape and Gem has been through enough.”
Sandy and Gem both look at me in confusion and I try not to flinch under their probing gazes. Gem speaks first. “Pride, we’re family now and where I come from, family sticks together. You didn’t leave me back at the compound and I’m not about to leave you now.”
Sandy blinks from her perch on the bed. “If it wasn’t for you…” she begins then swallows before saying, “I don’t know what would have become of me. This is as much my fight as it is yours, Pride.”
The fact that I now have a family, and they’re determined to fight this battle with me, has my heart doing a little flip in my chest. It also reminds me that these shifters believe in me and it’s their faith that has me renewing my vow to find Malcolm and the others and end this fight with the PTF once and for all.
“Then we’d better get a move on it,” I say around the lump forming in my throat, knowing now is not the time for a public display of emotions. It’s time to concentrate on the mission ahead, and strategize our best move. “We’re wasting precious daylight hours.”
With that everyone climbs to their feet and we all begin the final preparations for the long trek back. We travel down the mountain, and less than an hour later, fake identification in hand, my father returns with a vehicle, a massive SUV that can carry more than all seven of us.
While Stone shares a seat with Gem and Sandy, Logan rides shotgun. Nova takes the second last row and I climb into the far back, needing time with my thoughts as my father negotiates the car down the highway, toward the ferry that will take us back into the United States.
Retreating into myself, I stare blankly out the window, my mind working through the various scenarios that we might come up against. I look at the maps my father bought while he was
in town renting our vehicle, and think more about Lewis Lake. I pinpoint the area on the chart, and while I’m sure I’ve never physically been to this specific location, I still can’t shake the haunting feeling that I’ve heard of it before. I search my mind again, the answer continuing to dance out of reach.
But soon enough Nova is pouncing into the back with me, her silky hair pulled off her face, a long braid dangling down her back in a fashion that has me thinking of Ms. Kara.
I listen to the rapid beat of her heart and the elevated thud of her pulse. Her blood is running faster through her veins now, a hurried rush that she can’t hide from me. Without saying a word she moves in beside me, and as I turn from her and glare out the window, I can feel her pale eyes drilling into the back of my head.
“Pride,” she finally says when she realizes I’m waiting for her to make the first move.
Leaving the scenic imagery behind, I look at her pretty face and while I want to believe Logan, believe that she is suffering from trauma, my hackles bristle, and a dark shiver pulses in my blood. Warning bells clang in my head, because beneath her perfectly fabricated façade I catch a hint of something so foul it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. As my stomach sours in response, every nerve ending in my body, every instinct I possess stands on high alert.
“Yes?” I ask as she turns those shrewd pale eyes on me.
“Do you have a plan?”
“Yes,” I lie. Even if I did, I’m not about to let her in on it.
Her hand squeezes my arm, and I flinch at the contact. “It’s very brave of you.”
“What’s brave of me?” I glare at her and wonder where she’s going with this.
“To go after the PTF.” She stops to give a mock shiver, her hand closing over the wound they left on her hip. After a good show of fear, she says, “I was lucky to get out alive.” She pauses, then adds, “But from what I’ve heard about you…”
Her voice falls off and even though I feel like I’m walking into a trap, I ask, “What have you heard?”
“That you’re a fearless warrior, Pride,” she answers with bright eyed enthusiasm, her white teeth flashing in a smile. “A courageous leader.”
Instincts sharp, my wolf gives a low menacing growl, her distrust evident in the way she reacts to the girl beside me. I continue to wonder what Nova is up to, and don’t miss the fact that she’s trying to bolster my ego. What I don’t know is why.
“What makes you say that?” I ask instead of telling her the truth—that I’m just a girl trying to right a wrong and find her place in this strange new world.
“I guess if anyone can change the minds of the PTF it’s you.” She waves her hand, then tucks a wayward strand of hair behind her ear. When a small frown forms on her forehead, I study her expression and try to figure out what’s really going on inside that head of hers. “It makes me wonder why we’re all tagging along.”
“I never asked you to come along.”
Her smile fades and I feel her mood turn sober, dark. “Then again,” she continues on as if I hadn’t even spoken, “it’s not like we could stay back in the village. Not after you led…” She stops midsentence, and gives me a sheepish look. “Well, you know.”
I stare at her long and hard, my heart pounding in my ears as her words hit with the sting of a cruel master’s whip. She goes quiet, like she’s giving me time to absorb and digest what she’s saying. But no one knows better than I do that it was me who led the PTF back there, and I’m responsible for the death of her family, the destruction of her entire village. I exhale a ragged breath and the tortured sound serrates the quiet of the SUV.
Nova leans into me, and my wolf stirs uneasily. Long lashes shade her eyes and in a low voice meant for my ears only she says, “I guess that’s why you want to fix this mess. I’d feel pretty guilty, too.”
My chest tightens, and as anxiety gnaws at my stomach, I steel myself, hating that she’s right about my feelings, and hating more that she can so easily read them. I work to slow my pulse and keep my blood flowing steadily, my instincts warning that the less she knows about me the better.
Nova squares her shoulders and levels me with a stare before gesturing with a nod toward the front of the vehicle. “We might be travelling with two powerful alphas, but if I were in your shoes, I’d be sure to take the lead on this mission. You know, so no one else ends up getting hurt.”
As her words settle like a cold, chaotic lump in my stomach, I pull her scent deep into my lungs and despite my best efforts to keep my pulse steady, it kicks up a notch.
I move past the floral aroma on her tanned skin, the heady perfume of her natural wolf, and when I do I get the sense of something very dark beneath the fragrant mask.
Something very dark indeed.
5
After a long, uneventful ferry ride, and an even longer night of driving along the Pacific Coast highway we’re finally well on our way to reaching our destination. From the back of the vehicle, I try to spend my time thinking and resting, understanding sleep might be hard to come by in the next few days, but when the SUV hits a bump in the road it pulls me wide awake.
With a new day upon us, I give up on sleep and blink my eyes wide open. I tilt my head to face the sun and as I drink in its mid-morning warmth, I let it seep under my skin, hoping it will chase away the chill in my body, one, as of late, I simply can’t seem to shake.
I crack my window and the crisp autumn wind whips at my face and blows my wild, tousled curls into my eyes. Breathing deep, I tuck my hair behind my ears and inflate my lungs until my chest is fully expanded. While the sharp intake fuels my blood cells and helps pull me wider awake, it still doesn’t keep me from craving a hot cup of coffee, the hazelnut kind like Mica, the elderly housekeeper who always tried to see to my needs, used to sneak me.
Off in the distance I catch hints of salty brine in the air and when the vehicle rounds the corner and I glimpse the Pacific Ocean just over the embankment, my heart begins to race.
As it pounds rapidly inside my chest, it makes me feel lightheaded, but that doesn’t stop me from sticking my head out the window so I can listen to the liquid surf crash against the rocky shore.
As I take in the glorious sight—one that has always reminded me of freedom—my mind races back to the time when I shared secrets with Logan. I think about that special night I opened up to him, the night we talked honestly about our feelings and I told him what the Pacific Ocean means to me.
Without conscious thought, my glance darts to the front of the SUV, my wolf seeking the boy she once mated with. When I catch a pair of unguarded eyes staring back at me from the rearview mirror, it produces a familiar fullness in my chest, one that has my wolf howling from within. Logan’s smile is slow, the warmth in his ocean blue eyes every bit as warm as the Pacific waters lapping nearby. But it’s the hint of vulnerability I see shimmering below the surface that tells me he’s thinking about that night every bit as much as I am.
We exchange a long, thoughtful look, the bond we share evident in the way our eyes connect. But as I think about the promise he once made to me, I realize so much has changed since the full moon we spent in the cave.
We’ve all been through so much, seen too much for wolves our age, and I can’t deny that I no longer feel like the young, naïve girl who ran through the woods with a powerful alpha—a boy who taught me to hunt, feed. Survive. One who assured me that someday, when our fight is over, he’d take me to the ocean to play in the sand and surf.
But as I think about the war we’re about to face, and think about the things my father said to me outside the mountain den, I can’t shake the uneasy feeling that our fight for freedom will never be over. Before I can stop it, a low groan rumbles in my throat and draws Nova’s attention. I turn from her probing eyes and diligently try to dismiss the frightening thoughts, refusing to let my mind travel down that dark, dead-end path.
A movement in the seat directly in front of me gains my attention. I glance at Stone and when
I feel him surfing the outer edges of my thoughts, I mentally push back. Our gazes lock and his haunted eyes search mine for answers, ones I simply don’t have.
As emotions crowd me, I tear my eyes away to stare out the window, returning my focus to the mission ahead. I think about what we could face at Lewis Lake, I wonder if the two alphas—boys who are so completely different from one another—will be able to work together when the time comes.
Or will their hate and distrust for one another end in bloodshed?
That thought has bile pushing into my throat. When my father announces from the front seat that in a few hours we’ll be approaching our destination, I harden myself, and get my mind back into the game of life and death.
We stop at a roadside gas station to fuel our vehicle as well as our stomachs. The master used to think an empty stomach made me a better hunter, which is the main reason I want my wolf full before trekking into the unknown. I don’t want hunger pangs distracting her, and can’t take the risk that an empty stomach will drive her to do something I might regret later. At least if I’m full, I’ll be better able to keep her settled and focused on our pursuit.
After swallowing down half a tuna sandwich, the rich creamy mayonnaise thick and delicious on my tongue, I pop the cap on my can of soda. I take a huge gulp of the syrupy drink and stretch out my stiff legs as I make my way across the wide expanse of black asphalt toward the empty SUV.
From behind me a loud yelp pierces the air. I don’t need to turn back to know it’s the cry of an agitated German Shepherd. The heavy metal chain clanking along the ground fills me with horrific memories of my own collar as the dog bolts forward only to get yanked back inside the mechanic’s bay beside the convenience store.
“We’ll be gone in a minute,” I whisper under my breath, understanding the animal is threatened by the motley crew of wolves who’ve trespassed on its territory, and is reacting the only way it knows how.
Not at all different from a boy I know.
