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Dark Sparkler

Page 5

by Amber Tamblyn


  NO

  DON’T TOUCH ME

  YOU CAN’T TOUCH ME ANYMORE!

  I’M SO PISSED I FORGOT HOW TO RHYME

  I HATE YOU SO MUCH I FORGOT

  WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

  WHO WANTS TO GET MEXICAN FOOD?

  JAY-Z DO SOMETHING!

  I am the single white female of

  you

  die

  in

  the

  end.

  This

  is do or die

  these are the new rules I play by

  this is the end of the line, k, old white guy?

  Ladies testify

  it’s time to put a measure on the floor

  against chromosome Y

  All

  In favor

  Say

  I,

  Amber Rose Tamblyn, of sound body and mind, do solemnly swear, upon and into this great day numbered twenty-one of such and such month in the year two thousand and tweeelve, to finish this book and these poemies, so help me the cast of The Help. But prior to such suchyness, I bequeath, bestow, and nudge gently with offering my every fortune to this bottle of aged bourbon, that browned-downer, that silkless lung humper, that unlawful talk-softener, that best friend of THE FUCKING COPS (I’ll punch you right in the cork, old-timer!). And in this estate thine shalt find the following: my many remotes for my one TV, a funny-looking pair of socks purchased in the great state of Utah, that box of childhood report cards I promised my mom I would go through, my absolutely unwavering terror about the wedding, and the remaining muscle relaxers I dare not take tonight, nay, given unto me by a guy named Ned. Those sleepy sternum steepers, those fun hunters, those actress, smacktressters.

  Amen? Sign here.

  March 24, 2013

  Hi, I was supposed to send these flowers

  to something called a “wife”?

  If you are this person, please enjoy and reply

  with a definition. David.

  Wife: Someone who is a female partner in a continuing marital relationship.

  Someone who thinks that definition better defines you, actually.

  Someone who loves your love for obscure British satire zines.

  Someone who looks through your old pictures

  and tells you she would make love

  to every era of you.

  Even the underage ones.

  Someone who likes to make things weirder than you do.

  Someone who isn’t afraid to tell you how you really feel

  about that one Woody Allen movie.

  Someone who looks forward to fifty more years

  of explaining basic directions to you.

  No, really.

  Someone who likes watching you

  watch Guy Maddin films.

  Someone who thinks your period jokes are funny,

  but not in front of her feminist friends.

  That’s no fun for everyone.

  Someone who loves that you want her

  to pick out your new spectacles

  because she is the one who will have to look at them every day.

  Someone who is not afraid to write in the third person

  because she lives in the third person, for a living.

  Someone who can never get enough of your love

  for bands that came out of Boston in the nineties.

  Someone who needs the way you kiss.

  The way you graze on a lip like straw

  in the mouth of a Southern kid.

  Someone who watched you help a blind man at a festival

  so he wouldn’t miss the band reunion of Jesus Lizard,

  even though all your fans wouldn’t leave you alone.

  Someone who will never leave you

  alone.

  Someone only you could make laugh

  during a documentary about the Holocaust,

  during sex,

  during study breaks of the bleakest women.

  Someone you said “Don’t get obsessed” to after the first poem,

  knowing full well she would.

  Knowing full well,

  it’s how you became

  hers.

  Search “Famous actress ghost continues to haunt local town”

  Search “Biographies of actresses in the film ‘Poltergeist’ + Dead”

  Search “Origin of a curse”

  Search “Baby from famous commercial dies”

  Search “Deceased actresses under 30”

  Search “Death certificate for Quentin Dean”

  Search “YouTube + Quentin Dean interview”

  Search “YouTube + Emily Quartermaine 1995”

  Search “Amber Tamblyn + news”

  Search “Amber Tamblyn + bad poetry”

  Search “The worst celebrity poets”

  Search “IMDb + Best actresses under 30”

  Search “IMDb + most underrated actresses over 30”

  Search “Screen Actors Guild statistics + how many actresses work past age 30”

  Search “Fay DeWitt + murder”

  Search “Iranian actress Asal Badiee + murdered?”

  Search “How to identify human poisoning + homicide”

  Search “Brittany Murphy autopsy + hair sample test”

  Search “How many hairs are on the human head?”

  Search “Brittany Spears shaves head”

  Search “Rotten Tomatoes + Crossroads movie”

  Search “Different spellings for the name Brittany”

  Search “Origin of the name Britney”

  Search “Other British namesakes”

  Search “Jean Seberg”

  Search “Self-induced drug poisoning”

  Search “Difference between Demerol and Percocet”

  Search “Order Percocet online”

  Search “How to clear your search history”

  Search “Whitney Houston + drug overdose”

  Search “Rotten Tomatoes + The Bodyguard movie”

  Search “Statistics on premature obituaries”

  Search “Whitney Houston false drug overdose obit after 9/11”

  Search “Actress killed at World Trade Tower”

  Search “Actresses who died in planes”

  Search “Pop singer Aaliyah”

  Search “Rotten Tomatoes + Romeo Must Die movie”

  Search “Rotten Tomatoes + Amber Tamblyn movies”

  Search “Unknown actresses and actors of vaudeville”

  Search “Eddie Tamblyn + brain tumor”

  Search “Unknown actress deaths”

  Search “National Archives + Actresses, deceased”

  Search “Manjula died age 35”

  Search “Geeta Bali died age 34”

  Search “Lilian Velez died age 24”

  Search “Liliana Lozano died age 30”

  Search “Clarine Seymour died age 21 + unmarked grave”

  Search “Adriana Prieto died age 24”

  Search “Shobha died age 17”

  Search “Inger Stevens died age 35”

  Search “Marjie Millar died age 34 + fourteen surgeries on left leg”

  Search “Billie Carleton died age 22”

  Search “Silk Smitha died age 35”

  Search “Masako Natsume died age 27”

  Search “Nina Byron died age unknown”

  Search “Romina Yan died age 36 + sudden death”

  Search “Zou Xuan died age 39”

  Search “Suzzy Williams died age 23”

  Search “Soundarya died age 31 + plane crash”

  Search “Li Tobler died age 27 + suicide”

  Search “Vincenza Armani died age 39”

  Search “Daniella Perez died age 22”

  Search “Corrona Riccardo died age 39”

  Search “Marilyn Miller died age 37 + complications with nasal surgery”

  Search “Rebecca Shaeffer died age 21 + murdered + stalker + Robert John Bardo”

  Search “Dominique Dunne d
ied age 22 + murdered + boyfriend + John Thomas Sweeney”

  Search “Mary Thurman died age 30”

  Search “Jang Jin-Young died age 37 + life imitates art”

  Search “Evelyn Nelson died age 23”

  Search “Gaby Deslys died age 38 + carved wood swan bed”

  Search “Florence La Badie died age 29”

  Search “Peg Entwistle died age 24 + jumped to death from HOLLYWOODLAND sign”

  Search “Krista Nell died age 29”

  Search “Florence Barker died age 21”

  Search “Carole Landis died age 29 + Seconal + suicide + Rex Harrison”

  Search “Anissa Jones died age 18 + Seconal + overdose + doctor prescribed”

  Search “Madhubala died age 36 + VSD + hole in heart”

  Search “Candy Darling died age 29”

  Search “Corinne Luchaire died age 28 + association with German occupation”

  Search “Renee Adoree died age 35”

  Search “Valentina Zimina died age 29”

  Search “Zoe Tamerlis Lund died age 37”

  Search “Thelma Todd died age 29 + carbon monoxide”

  Search “Meena Kumari died age 39”

  Search “Elizabeth Rachel Felix died age 36”

  Search “Iris Stuart died age 33”

  Search “Françoise Dorleac died age 25 + body identified by diary and checkbook”

  Search “Valerie Quennessen died age 31”

  Search “Jean Harlow died age 26 + renal failure”

  Search “Alma Rubens died age 33”

  Search “Mahua Roychoudhury died age 27”

  Search “Gladys Brockwell died age 35”

  Search “Lya De Putti died age 34 + chicken bone removed from throat”

  Search “Myrtle Gonzalez died age 27”

  Search “Marie-Georges Pascal died age 39”

  Search “Roxanne Kernohan died age 32”

  Search “Marie Prevost died age 38 + acute alcoholism”

  Search “Soledad Miranda died age 27”

  Search “Nell Gwyn died age 37”

  Search “Sammi Kane Kraft died age 20”

  Search “Monal died age 21”

  Search “Lucy Gordon died age 28 + suicide + hanging”

  Search “Gail Russell died age 36”

  Search “Barbara Payton died age 39”

  Search “Frances Farmer died age 56 + shock therapy + alcoholism + abortion + cancer”

  Search “Iday Hawley died age 32”

  Search “Lillian Peacock died age 28”

  Search “Dorothy Stratten died age 20 + rape + crime of passion”

  Search “Donyale Luna died age 33”

  Search “Dorrit Weixler died age 24”

  Search “Virginia Rappe died age 30 + Fatty Arbuckle”

  Search “Evelyn Preer died age 36”

  Search “Gloria Grey died age 38”

  Search “Allyn King died age 31 + jumpers who survive”

  Search “Francelia Billington died age 39”

  Search “Debbie Weems died age 27”

  Search “Susan Peters died age 31 + gunshot + paralysis + anorexia + kidney disease”

  Search “Pepi Lederer died age 25”

  Search “Susan Littler died age 34”

  Search “Florence Deshon died age 28 + gas poisoning”

  Search “Charlotte Long died age 18”

  Search “Janet Banzet died age 37 + Marie Brent + Pat Barnett + Patricia Barrett+ Pat Barrett + Anne Brent + Louise Brent”

  Search “Agnes Souret died age 26”

  Search “Marietta Millner died age 34 + anorexia”

  Search “Marilyn Miller died age 37”

  Search “Ogarita Elizabeth Bellows died age 32 + daughter of John Wilkes Booth”

  Search “Diana Sands died age 39”

  Search “Rosamond Pinchot died age 33”

  Search “Dorothy Hale died age 33”

  Search “Pascal Olier died age 25”

  Search “Barbara La Marr died age 29 + tuberculosis + nephritis”

  Search “Peggy Shannon died age 34”

  Search “Susanne Cramer died age 32”

  Search “Carol Haney died age 39 + Gene Kelly protégée”

  Search “Taya Straton died age 36”

  Search “Pauline Chan Bo-Lin died age 29”

  Search “Joan Dowling died age 26”

  Search “Karyn Kupcinet died age 22 + homicide possibly linked to assassination of JFK”

  Search “Jessica Madison Wright died age 21”

  Search “Jeanette Loff died age 35”

  Search “Laura Addison died age 30 + shipwreck”

  Search “Michele Girardon died age 36”

  Search “Emily Hogquist died age 34”

  Search “Rasika Joshi died age 38”

  Search “Pauline Lafont died age 25 + hiking accident”

  Search “Gloria Dickson died age 27”

  Search “Edith Roberts died age 35 during childbirth”

  Search “Diana Miller died age 25”

  Search “Sirkka Sari died age 19 + fell down chimney into furnace”

  Search “Bai Jing died age 28”

  Search “Suzi Lovegrove died age 32 + HIV positive born”

  Search “Divya Bharti died age 19”

  Search “Jeanne Eagels died age 39”

  Search “Suzanna Sablairolles died age 37”

  Search “Bridgette Andersen died age 21 + Savannah Smiles + heroin + alcohol”

  Search “Shannon Michelle Wilsey died age 23 + Savannah + suicide”

  Search “Dorothy Seastrom died age 26”

  Search “Aileen Marson died age 26”

  Search “Samantha Smith died age 13 + plane crash + USSR”

  Search “Viveka Babajee died age 37”

  Search “Marguerite Marsh died age 37”

  Search “Karen Jonsson died age 33 + fatalities pre penicillin”

  Search “Betty Morrissey died age 36”

  Search “Amber Tamblyn died age ”

  Search “Lottie Lyell died age 35”

  Search “Sophie Heathcote died age 33”

  Search “Renate Muller died age 31 + Nazi conspiracy”

  Search “Sidney Fox died age 30”

  Search “Vanessa Cavanagh died age 18 + car accident”

  Search “Aleena died age 20 or 21 + unknown DOB”

  Search “Heather O’Rourke died age 12 + stenosis + cardiac arrest”

  Search “Pisith Pilika died age 34”

  Search “Jill Banner died age 35”

  Search “Yumika Hayashi died age 35 + Japan’s biggest porn star”

  Search “Ruth Eweler died age 34”

  Search “Marie-Soleil Tougas died age 27”

  Search “Taruni Sachdev died age 14 + plane crash”

  Search “Iren Agay died age 38”

  Search “Mabel Hite died age 29”

  Search “Sharon Tate died age 26 + murder + Manson family”

  Search “Jiah Khan died age 25”

  Search “June Thorburn died age 36”

  Search “Meenakshi Thapar died age 27+ kidnapped + decapitated”

  Search “Sheree Winton died age 39”

  Search “Thuy Trang died age 27”

  Search “Sonia Martinez died age 30 + early AIDS in Spain”

  Search “Asal Badiee died age 35”

  Search “Mandi Lampi died age 19”

  Search “Adelaide Neilson died age 32 + ruptured fallopian tube”

  Search “Julie Vega died age 16”

  Search “Aleta Freel died age 28 + suicide by gunshot”

  Search “Lily Hanbury died age 34”

  Search “Trinity Loren died age 34”

  Search “Laura Sadler died age 22 + fell off a building”

  Search “Merna Kennedy died age 36”

  Search “Carole Lesley died age +38”

  Search “Jean Stuart died age 20 + horseback riding a
ccident”

  Search “Su Muy Key died age 21 or 22 + unknown DOB”

  Search “Marilyn Monroe died age 36 + overdose”

  Search “Guylaine St-Onge died age 39”

  Search “Thelma Hill died age 31”

  Search “Adrienne Ames died age 39”

  Search “Lupe Velez died age 36 + Seconal + suicide”

  Search “Janet Munro died age 38”

  Search “Mary Lawson died age 30 + WWII bombing in London”

  Search “Lucille Ricksen died age 14”

  Search “Shiho Niiyama died age 29”

  Search “Kay Kendall died age 32 + leukemia + married to Rex Harrison lied”

  Search “Sophie Gimber Kuhn died age +28”

  Search “Leila Diniz died age 27”

  Search “Selena died age 23 + murdered by fan”

  Search “Marjorie White died age 31”

  Search “Diane Linkletter died age 20”

  Search “Miss Kumari died age 37”

  Search “Feri Cansel died age 39”

  Search “Claudette Mawby died age 20 + WWII bombing in Brighton”

  Search “Debbie Linden died age 36”

  Search “Virginia Maskell died age 31 + postpartum depression”

  Search “Paola Pezzaglia died age 36”

  Search “Sibyl Sanderson died age 37”

  Search “Julia Dean died age 37 + childbirth”

  Search “Anna Maria de Bruyn died age 36”

  Search “Chane’t Johnson died age 34”

  Search “Lya De Putti died age 34 + Harbor Sanitorium”

  Search “Jean Gillie died age 33”

  Search “Ebba Morman died age 33 + tuberculosis”

  Search “Quentin Dean died age 58 + ?”

  Search “Sriranjani died age 33”

  Search “Sunny Johnson died age 30 + burst blood vessel in her brain”

  Search “Misty Upham died age 32 + police negligence—the woods”

  Search “Funny cat videos”

  From: Amber Rose

  to:

  date: Sat, Dec 28, 2013 at 9:13 AM

  subject: Inquiry

  Hi there,

  My name is Amber Tamblyn and I am a poet and actress from New York and Los Angeles. I am currently working on a poem about Fay for my next collection of poems about the lives and deaths of child-star actresses, which will be published by HarperCollins in 2015. I wanted to know if it might be possible to interview Ms. DeWitt? So as to be transparent, I would need to ask about the 1965 incident involving Ray Allen. From a writing perspective, I’m interested in Fay’s life before and after this incident, told by her—how she felt and how it changed her—rather than reading an article about it. Ms. DeWitt is the antithesis of what I have studied in many regards and I’m interested in her story. I imagine this might be a sensitive subject, but I assure you I am not a reporter and have no intention to paint her untruthfully. I hope she might consider it.

 

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