The Revelation

by Lauren Rowe

  I giggle.

  “Wait, you do drink, right?” Jonas asks.

  I give him a perplexed look.

  “Kat, I’m Blane, remember? I don’t already know you’re a total lush.”

  I snort. “Oh yeah. Well, yes, Blane, on occasion, I do indeed imbibe.”

  “Okay, that’s fine. I don’t drink at all—I hope that’s okay. I’m a professional baseball player and I don’t drink a drop during the season.”

  I burst out laughing.

  “Okay good. I’m glad that means something to you. Josh gave me explicit instructions to say that exact line, but I have no idea why.” Jonas leans forward like he’s telling a secret. “But actually I’ll totally have a drink with you—you know that, right?” He winks.

  “Awesome. Will Sarah be joining us? I bet she could use a break from studying. She seemed really stressed about finals when I talked to her the other day.”

  “Who’s Sarah? I told you, my name is Blane.” He leans forward like he’s telling me another secret. “Actually, I tried to pull her away from her books for the night, but she’s totally freaking out about her exams next week. She said she can’t afford to go out two nights in a row so she’ll just see everyone tomorrow night.”

  “What? We’re going out tomorrow night?” I shriek happily. “I had no idea.” I clap my hands and jump up and down. “Will it be all four of us?”

  Jonas suddenly looks like he’s been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. “Uh.” His face turns bright red. “Fuck. Josh is gonna kill me. That’s supposed to be a surprise.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Just pretend I never said anything. My name is Blane. You look even better than your online profile. I don’t drink. I’m a professional baseball player. I’m boring.”

  I squeal. “Josh is so sneaky-freaky-deaky. I thought he was coming into town on Saturday, did he tell you that? He’s meeting my family.” I squeal again, overwhelmed with excitement. “He’s such a sneaky little fucker.”

  “Shit. Kat. Stop it. He’s gonna kill me. I’m Blane. I’m boring. You look better than your online profile. Gah.”

  I put out my hand, laughing. “Nice to meet you, Blane. I’m super-duper excited about our boring date. Let’s go.” I step outside and lock my door and we begin walking down the pathway toward the front of my building. Well, actually, Jonas is walking—I’m careening down the walkway a good five paces ahead of him, my heart exploding with joy.

  “Hey, Kat. Real quick. Hang on.”

  I stop sprinting.

  “Before I’m stuck being Boring Blane for the rest of the night,” Jonas says, “can I be Boring Jonas for a minute? There’s something I wanna ask you about.”

  “Sure, Boring Jonas—bore away.”

  Boring Jonas takes a deep breath and pulls a ring box out of his pocket. “Do you think Sarah’s gonna like this?” He opens the ring box and I’m blinded by the most spectacular rock I’ve ever seen. “Or should I have gotten bigger?” he asks.

  My knees literally buckle. “Holy shitballs, Jonas. It’s flippin’ gorgeous!”

  “You think she’ll like it?”

  “Like it? She’s gonna sob like a baby with overflowing love for it! It’s jaw-dropping. Glorious. Fabulous. Beyond.”

  “But would you go so far as to call it ‘magnificent’?”

  I laugh. “Absolutely. That’s exactly what it is. Magnificent.”

  “Phew. It’s big enough?”

  “Jonas, any bigger and her knuckles would drag on the ground.”

  He exhales in obvious relief and shuts the box. “Okay. Thank you.” He runs his hand through his hair again. “I’ve been losing my mind lately, thinking about getting this right. Josh says this is the story Sarah will be telling her grandchildren one day so I’d better not fuck it up.”

  “Josh said that?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Josh said, ‘This is the story Sarah will tell her grandchildren’?” I ask, my chest tight.

  “Yep. That’s exactly what he said.”

  “Wow,” I say. “That’s an incredibly romantic thing to say.” I clutch my chest, trying to get ahold of myself. “I didn’t know Josh was capable of saying something so... epic.” My heart is suddenly slamming against my chest bone, banging mercilessly, trying to lurch out of its cage. I can’t fathom Josh assuming children and grandchildren for Jonas and Sarah. That’s so... futuristic of him. “Well, yeah, Josh is right,” I manage. “Sarah will most definitely be telling your future grandchildren about your proposal one day.”

  Jonas grimaces.

  “But the good news is that you can’t fuck it up no matter what you do. As long as you speak from your heart, whatever you say will be grandchildren-worthy, I promise.”

  We begin walking down the pathway toward the street again.

  “God, I hope you’re right,” Jonas says. “I’ve been making myself sick, planning this whole elaborate speech in my head, trying to get it exactly right.”

  I wave my hand in the air. “You’re overthinking it. Just tell her how you feel and she’ll be thrilled. All that matters at times like these is that you tell the one you love how you feel, straight from your heart. Keep it simple.”

  We’ve reached Jonas’ car on the street in front of my building. He opens my door for me and I settle myself inside the car.

  “Thanks, Kat,” Jonas says. “I think you’re right. I’ll keep it simple and straight from the heart. Nothing too elaborate.”

  “There you go. That’s all any girl could ever hope for in a marriage proposal—a simple declaration of love from the man of her dreams.”

  Jonas shoots me an adorable look that clearly says, “Oh my God, I’m really gonna do this.”

  “You’ll do great,” I say.

  He shuts my door and walks around the car to the driver’s side.

  I think this is the first time I’ve ever chatted with Jonas alone, just him and me, with no one else around. No, wait. That’s not true. This is the second time. The first was at Jonas’ house the morning after The Club broke into my apartment—the morning after I first laid eyes on Jonas’ sexy-as-sin brother. Wow, that feels like a lifetime ago. What did I say to Jonas that morning, standing in his kitchen? “Sarah thinks you’re in love with her, Jonas. Don’t crush her.” I roll my eyes at myself. Yet another whiz-bang example of my amazing ability to sense a man’s true intentions.

  Jonas settles into his car seat and turns on the engine.

  “So, I gotta tell you, Blane,” I say. “I don’t have high hopes for a second date. It’s a really bad sign when a guy asks for advice on how to propose to another girl on a first date.”

  Jonas laughs. “Sorry. From here on out, I promise to focus all my energy on boring you to tears.”

  “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

  Jonas pulls his car into traffic. “In fact, you know what I’ll do?” he says, grinning. “I’ll bore the pants off you.” He snickers.

  My stomach clenches. “Josh told you everything, didn’t he?” I choke out.

  Jonas laughs gleefully. “Nope. Josh gave me absolutely no details, just like I said. But I’m not a complete idiot, Kat, despite appearances. If me showing up at your apartment and handing you a fucking poker chip doesn’t somehow lead to you and Josh fucking in the bathroom, then I don’t know what would be the fucking point.”

  I cover my face with my hands.

  Jonas laughs again. “Aw, come on, Kat. It’s just me—and I’m a huge fan of bathroom fuckery, believe me. Besides, what do you care what I think? I’m Blane. I’m the boring guy you’ll never see again.”

  I laugh and look out my car window for a long moment, letting the blush in my cheeks subside. “So where are we going, Blane?”

  “A bar near my house called The Pine Box. Are you familiar with it?” He’s got a wicked grin on his face.

  “Yeah, as a matter of fact, I am. My best friend and I once went to The Pine Box to spy on this guy she really liked.”

  �
�You spied on him, huh? What was he doing?”

  “Hitting on another girl.”

  “Ooph. Sounds like an asshole.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought. But I’ve since learned he’s a total sweetheart. Best guy, ever. And a perfect match for my best friend, too. I couldn’t be happier for them.”

  I look over at Jonas and he’s absolutely beaming with joy. God, he’s such a cutie, I can’t stand it. I wanna roll him in glitter and glue and hang him on my fridge.

  He looks at me, his face bursting with happiness. “You’re definitely way cooler than your online profile, Kat.”

  Chapter 33

  Josh

  I don’t know what to do with myself, so I pick up a dishrag and wipe off the top of the bar for a long minute. I’m so amped to finally see Kat again, I can barely breathe. A week has never felt so long. Fuck. I look at my watch. Jonas should be here with her any minute now. Fuck. I’m leaping out of my skin. Fuck. I haven’t been able to get that woman out of my head all fucking week, despite how busy I’ve been with work. The smell of her. The softness of her skin. The way she laughs like a dude. That electricity that courses between us when we have sex, nice and slow. What the fuck is that? It’s gonna be the death of me.

  “Hey, bartender,” a guy in a charcoal three-piece suit calls to me.

  I nod to the guy. It’s been a long time since anyone’s called me “bartender” in an actual bar. Sure, I’m always “bartender” at parties with my friends, but there’s a special kind of jolt to being the guy who’s large and in charge in an actual bar. I’d forgotten how much I love that feeling.

  I glance at Tim to my left, the actual bartender at The Pine Box, seeking permission to assist the guy in the suit and Tim motions for me to go right ahead. He’s not just being nice, of course—I’ve paid him and his boss (the owner of the bar) handsomely for the privilege. But, still, I can’t help feeling giddy to be doing this again after all these years.

  “Hey there, man.” I say to the dude in the suit, sauntering to him. “What can I do you for, sir?”

  “A Manhattan,” the guy says. He motions to a cute brunette standing just behind him. “And a Chardonnay.”

  “Absolutely. Guess what? Great news. Tonight just so happens to be Dudes In Charcoal Suits Drink For Free Night.” I slide two cocktail napkins onto the bar in front of him. “Your drinks are on the house, man.”

  The guy looks surprised. “Really?”

  “Yep. They’re on me.” I flash him a huge smile. “Tip included.”

  When I contacted The Pine Box (at Jonas’ recommendation) and asked the owner if I might help tend bar for an hour tonight (because, I said, I was trying to decide if I wanted to quit my fancy job and go back to my college job), he wasn’t the least bit open to the idea. As usual, though, money made the guy change his mind and decide to help a brother out. “But you can’t handle any customers’ money,” the owner warned. “Leave that to Tim.” “No problem,” I assured him. “How about this: I’ll pay for every single drink in the place, all night long. And I’ll serve all premium liquor the whole time I’m there—you’ll make a mint, bro.”

  “Whoa,” the guy in the charcoal suit says, stuffing his wallet back into his pocket. “A random act of kindness. Thanks.”

  “Something like that,” I say. “So check this out, bro. I’m gonna make your Manhattan with a little extra kick, okay? I’m gonna use a premium rye whiskey—maybe Overholt?—plus, I’m gonna go off the rails and use orange bitters.”

  The guy raises his eyebrows. “You’re going rogue, huh?”

  I laugh. “I know what you’re thinking—is he mad? Just roll with it. If you don’t absolutely love it, I’ll make you one the traditional way. But you’ll see. The rye whiskey’s gonna really offset the flavor of the bitters nicely.”

  “Okay. Cool. Thanks, man. Awesome.”

  I look at the adorable brunette behind the guy. “Are you in the mood to try something besides Chardonnay tonight? I’ve got a Purple Rain recipe I’m dying to make for a lucky lady tonight. Also completely on me, of course. If you like gin, you’ll love it.”

  “I love gin,” she says, her face lighting up. “I’ll give it a whirl.”

  I glance at the door. Jonas should have been here already. Maybe Kat kept him waiting when he came to pick her up. Kat didn’t know Jonas was coming, after all. She probably made him sit and wait while she put on makeup or changed her clothes. That girl is never fucking on time for a goddamned thing. I smile broadly. And she’s always worth the fucking wait.

  I push the drinks across the bar to the dude and his date.

  “Whoa,” the guy says. “Best Manhattan I’ve ever had.”

  “Love it,” his date says. “What’s in it besides gin?”

  I tell her and she praises me for being fucking amazing, which, I must admit when it comes to making drinks, I am. “When you’re ready for round two, lemme know. I’ll keep my tab open for you all night long.”

  “Thanks. Wow. You’re the man.”

  Damn, I should totally do this once a week, just for kicks. This is fun.

  A smoking hot brunette comes into the place alone, sits at the bar, and motions to me that she wants to order something. I glance at Tim on the other end of the bar and he motions to me like, “She’s all yours, man.”

  I saunter down to her. “Hey, beautiful,” I say. “What can I do for you?”

  She raises her eyebrow. “Answering that question with a drink order seems like such a shame.”

  Oh. Well. I glance at the door. I’d forgotten about how much women hit on the bartender. That was always one of the best perks of tending bar.

  I smile at her. “You here alone, sweetheart?”

  “Waiting for a friend. She just texted she’s running late.” She makes a sad face.

  “Well, no one gets lonely when I’m tending bar. That’s the rule. What can I get you? It’s on me.”

  Her eyes blaze. “Oh, thank you. That’s awfully sweet of you.”

  I look at the door. No Jonas. No Kat.

  “Um,” she says. “Do you have a recommendation for me? I feel like going outside my usual tonight. Maybe taking a walk on the wild side.” She levels her dark eyes at me.

  Oh man. This woman’s not fucking around.

  “Hmm. Well, would you like a screaming orgasm, perhaps?”

  “You read my mind.”

  “Coming right up.” I flash her my most lascivious look.

  “And what do you recommend to drink?” she adds.

  I laugh. “What’s your name, beautiful?” I ask.

  “Lucy.” She puts out her hand and I shake it.

  “Hi, Lucy. Love the name. I’m Josh. Pleased to meet you.”

  “You’re new here?”

  “Yeah. Just on a trial basis. Just for tonight.”

  “Oh, well, lucky I came in tonight, then. I’d be happy to tell the owner to hire you. You’re the best bartender, ever.”

  “I haven’t made your drink yet.”

  She flashes a flirtatious smile. “It doesn’t matter.” She licks her lips.

  I run my hand through my hair. Shit, have women gotten more aggressive since I used to do this in college? “Well, Lucy. Thanks for the vote of—” I glance down at the other end of the bar and I’m met with two eyes of blue steel boring holes into the back of my skull like a fucking Gamma Ray. Kat. In full Jealous Bitch mode. My heart and dick both leap at the sight of her. How is it possible she’s even more beautiful than she was last week?

  I wink at her and her eyes flicker.

  She grits her teeth.

  It’s all I can do not to burst out laughing. Fuck, I love Jealous Kat. She’s never sexier than when she’s plotting a murder.

  I quickly turn my attention back to my new brunette admirer. My gut tells me letting Jealous Kat simmer for a little while longer will only make this porno hotter in the end. Plus, I’m not one hundred percent sure how this particular porno’s supposed to play itself out. I k
now Kat’s on a date with Boring Blane and I’m the hot bartender who catches her eye. That part is clear. But the rest is kind of nebulous. I’m pretty sure she’s gonna slip me a note. Yeah, that’s it. She’s supposed to slip me a napkin with a note scribbled on it. And then we fuck in the bathroom. And then she returns to her date like nothing even happened. Fucking hot.

  “Sorry, Lucy,” I say. “I got distracted there for a second. Thanks for the vote of confidence. Yeah, if you could tell the owner you want me to get the job, I’d be grateful. Seems like a cool place.”

  “Sure, Josh. My friends and I come in here about once a week after work. You’d be a sight for sore eyes after a long day, that’s for sure.”

  I flash her my most charming smile. “Thanks. You’re a sweetheart.”

  She throws her head back and laughs. “Oh, my. You’re adorable.” She bites her lip. “Absolutely adorable.” She leans in. “How late are you working tonight?”

  I lean in. “I’m not sure yet.”

  “Well, let me know when you find out,” she whispers.

  I grin. “First things first, lemme get you that screaming orgasm.”

  “If I get my way, that’ll be first things first. Second things second. And third things third.”

  Oh shit. This woman is a fucking carnivore. Were women this savage when I was tending bar at twenty-two? Shit, if they were, I don’t remember it quite this way. If I weren’t here to deliver a porno-fantasy to the woman of my dreams tonight, I’d no doubt be banging this woman to within an inch of her life an hour from now. Jesus God.

  “Just a second, Lucy. I’ve got a customer flagging me down at the other end of the bar. Your screaming orgasm will be coming right up.” I wink.

  As I walk the length of the bar toward Kat, I feel like a man walking a gangplank. She looks literally homicidal. Damn, she’s gorgeous. Especially when she’s in terrorist mode. I have the sudden impulse to leap over the bar and take her into my arms and kiss the hell out of her, but this slow burn is way too hot to fuck with. Kat’s got fantasy-pornos playing in her head? Well, I guess it turns out I do, too. She’s jealous of the man-eater down at the other end of the bar? Well, good. It’ll only make sex in the bathroom that much better.