An Honest Deception

by Alicia Quigley

  Letitia eyed the dowager with surprise. “Did he ask you to come here?”

  “Lord, no. He would doubtless scold me if he knew of it, though I don’t care a farthing for that. As though he could order me one way or the other! No, I wished to meet the woman he tells me he cannot do without.”

  Letty looked away and clasped her hands in her lap. “Lady Eynsford, while I wish I could help you, you must understand my position. I am a widow and have small children. My first marriage was not happy. While I am very lucky to have the support of good friends, I am attempting to make my own way in the world. I believed I had a friend in your son, and then it was revealed that he had been deceiving me in every way. I cannot marry where I do not trust, and I do not trust Lord Eynsford.”

  The dowager gave her a sharp glance. “If has proposed to you, it must be more than mere friendship.” At the sight of Letty’s anguished face, she waved her hands dismissively. “What, do you not believe he truly cares for you? My son certainly does not come to me for advice when his casual amours go awry, and yet he asked me what he should do when you said him nay. You fear he does not love you, and yet since you are already friends, you have far more to build a marriage on than most.”

  Letitia blinked. Not even Isobel had spoken to her so bluntly, and she had met this imperious woman not a quarter-hour before. “I appreciate your plain speaking, Lady Eynsford,” she said. “However, it does not seem to have occurred to your son, or to you, or to my friends, that I must make my own decisions. While I realize the honor your son has done me in proposing, the dishonor he did me is of far greater concern. I do not say that I will never look on his suit favorably, but I cannot be rushed, or harried, or talked into accepting him until I feel comfortable making that decision.”

  If Letitia expected the dowager to be angered by this statement, she was disappointed, as that lady smiled broadly at her. “Good for you,” she said with approval. “I didn’t think you could be as meek as you seemed; Phillip never had a taste for milk-and-water maids.”

  Letitia reluctantly smiled back. “Did you come here to see if you could provoke me?” she asked.

  “I never mean to provoke people, though I invariably do,” replied the dowager. “I have the knack for it. My girl, I hope that you can, in time, forgive my oaf of a son. You would be a most welcome addition to our family.”

  Letitia dropped her eyes. “I make no promises, Lady Eynsford. Indeed, until I said those words to you, I had no idea that I might still entertain his lordship’s suit. I have no formed intention to marry him.”

  “Well, child, you will have to come to a conclusion sooner or later. Phillip loves you, I believe, but no man waits forever. He owes it to his name to marry, and if he cannot have the woman he wants, I will see that he marries someone acceptable.”

  “If we are to continue to speak plainly, I will tell you that a man who cannot wait is a man who cannot have me,” said Letitia firmly. “A cause of his troubles is that he could not wait even a few months to meet, and forced his presence on me when I was ill prepared.”

  The dowager rose. “I see that you have yourself well in hand, and have no need of advice from me. Please, my dear, know that you can call on me if you are in need of anything. My son is a very great fool, but for once he has made a wise decision. I can only hope that you forgive him and make me, and not just my son, happy.”

  Letty rose as well, a bit confused. It seemed as though the ruder she was to the marchioness, the more pleased that lady became. “Thank you, Lady Eynsford,” she said. “I will bear it in mind.”

  The dowager startled her by dropping a kiss on her cheek. “See that you do. You young people have no idea how tiresome you are with your emotions and pride. Think well before you let this slip away.”

  The marchioness swept out of the room, leaving Letty confused and doubtful. Until her visitor had pried out of her that she might reconsider Eynsford’s offer, she had felt completely sure that the marquess was banished from her life. But now it seemed that had been deceiving herself, and her resolve was not as firm as she had imagined. She remembered the embrace they had shared in the Exencour’s house, and flushed. She had thought it was only her body that had betrayed her that day, but perhaps her heart had been involved as well.

  She sighed. She would leave in two days for Ramsgate with the children, and would spend a pleasant holiday there. If Lord Eynsford truly wished to marry her, he could wait for two months before renewing his suit.

  Letty put all further thoughts of the marchioness and her son behind her for the next two days, and soon had the satisfaction of departing Kensington for Ramsgate with her children and Violet, the nursery maid, in a hired chaise. As they slowly clattered out of the busy city and into the countryside she sighed with satisfaction at the notion of a few weeks of seaside quiet.

  Chapter 32

  Letitia was pleased with the rooms she had rented in Ramsgate. They were small yet comfortable, and there was little likelihood of meeting anyone tonnish enough to remark upon her living arrangements. Society spent its summers in Brighton or at their country seats, and no one with any pretensions to fashion appeared in Ramsgate. This pleased Letitia, for she knew very well that not only was she unlikely to meet the Regent, the gossipy Lady Jersey, or the censorious Mrs. Drummond-Burrell, but she could also be assured of not encountering the Marquess of Eynsford.

  A week after their arrival, when the children were well settled, she wrote to Isobel to tell her of her change of address.

  “Dear Isobel,” she wrote,

  “I know that you will be surprised to hear from me at this address. The heat in town became unbearable, and the children were sorely affected by it, as was I. Through some juggling of my funds (I have become remarkably able with mathematics and am very proud of my talent) I managed to find enough money to bring us here to Ramsgate for a month or two, to escape the worst of the summer heat. I know you will take me to task for not coming to Scotland, but I did not feel capable of supporting the social obligations that must attend upon visiting you and Lord Exencour, especially when Lord and Lady Glencairn are in such close proximity. Do give my love to dear Harriet when you see her; I miss her greatly.

  I am glad to be away from the city, as I am sure you will understand. I will return in the autumn and resume my life with a clearer head and the new perspective that a change of scene brings. I think with some time away I will forget my distressing memories of Kensington and recall only the healing qualities of the Gardens and the pleasure I feel in being able to care for myself and my children on my own.”

  Letitia paused a moment, her pen hovering over the page. She wished to assure Isobel of her wellbeing, but she also hoped to prevent her from attempting to further Eynsford’s suit. And yet she did not want to offend Isobel by implying that she might clumsily attempt to bully her friend into an unwanted match. She put her pen to paper once again.

  “I know you are concerned about me, but please feel assured that all is well. I am not such a ninny as to dwell on what has happened and I consider the whole lamentable episode to be a thing of the past, as surely as is Alfred. I am sure you will understand this.

  Enjoy your summer and do not worry about me; I find the sea breeze very refreshing and the change of venue a great pleasure. The company is certainly not fashionable, but at least I am not importuned by bishops and solicitors. Please give my affectionate greetings to your husband. I will write again soon.

  Letitia “

  Letitia reread the letter, sighed, then sanded and sealed it. She knew that Isobel would write back quickly, scolding her for not coming to Scotland, but also understanding her need for solitude and time to think. However, Letty was not entirely certain that she wished to be alone with her thoughts. She had been quite sure that, given the perfidies of the Marquess of Eynsford, Mr. Markham would be easily forgotten. But somehow he persisted in her thoughts. She remembered not so much his extraordinary beauty, although that lingered in her mind, but rather the con
cern in his blue eyes and the warmth of his smile. Letitia shook her head impatiently.

  “What nonsense,” she murmured aloud. “As though I need nothing more than someone with charm and good manners!”

  She resolutely put Mr. Markham out of her mind, and had Violet prepare the children for a walk. Emily and James were thriving in the sea air and would enjoy a stroll along the shore, while Letitia felt she too would benefit from a breeze that might blow the remnants of Mr. Markham’s presence from her mind.

  The children were ushered into the room, and Letty looked at them with pleasure. James was growing quickly, and it was clear he would be a very handsome boy. Her daughter was still unformed, all chubby arms and rosy cheeks, but Letitia was pleased that Emily resembled her. For a moment it seemed that Emily was a bit flushed, but the little girl’s forehead was cool, and she seemed to have boundless energy. Letty took their hands and they were walking out the door, when she perceived a gentleman coming up the steps to the building.

  “Good morning, Letitia,” he said, and Letty started.

  “Goodness!” she exclaimed. “Bainstall! Whatever are you doing here?”

  “I have come to speak to you, dear Cousin, because I am alarmed at reports I have received of your activities.”

  “My activities?” said Letitia. “You make me sound very busy, Cousin. Who, pray tell, has been reporting on my actions to you?”

  “Do not be offended,” said Bainstall. “You know that I act only from motives of concern, as does Dr. Wolfe. He felt that I should know of the problems you have gotten into; I can only say that you should be grateful for his interest in you.”

  “Ah, yes,” said Letitia. “Dr. Wolfe, the gentleman you have chosen as my next husband. Do you not think I might have been consulted in this matter?”

  “I saw no reason to consult you when the advantages of the match are so obvious,” replied Bainstall. “I believe you to be a sensible woman, despite your occasional frivolity, and Dr. Wolfe is of a fine family, with a respectable fortune and a sober turn of mind. A woman in your circumstances, all but penniless and with small children, cannot afford to be finicky in these matters.”

  Letitia took her children's hands and marched down the steps. Bainstall turned and walked with her. There was a brief silence.

  “What makes you think that I wish to marry again?” asked Letitia. “I am managing quite well on my own.”

  “It was all very well for you to say you will not marry again when the pain of Lord Morgan's death was still fresh,” said Bainstall. “I appreciate a widow's sorrow. But some time has passed, and you must be aware that a woman alone is not natural. You have managed to get yourself into a great deal of trouble in the past months.”

  “I am in no trouble that I can think of,” said Letitia. “I made an error of judgment in trusting someone, but no harm has come of it.”

  “No harm!” exclaimed Bainstall. “You dismiss this very lightly, upon my word. You are very lucky that a great deal of damage was not caused by your thoughtless behavior, and that Dr. Wolfe was not driven away. Your acquaintance with Eynsford, whose reputation when it comes to the ladies is questionable at best, was most ill advised. That the bishop still wishes to wed you is a blessing indeed.”

  “You are in great haste to see me married, Cousin,” observed Letitia. “Surely you recall that my husband has not yet been dead a year?”

  “There is no need to announce the engagement until the year is up, and then you can be swiftly wed,” replied Bainstall. “There will be no comment about that. Your circumstances are well enough known for the necessity of a second marriage to be recognized.”

  They had reached the strand, and Letitia looked out towards the water. She let go of the children's hands and urged them to play, watching as they ran towards the water, laughing merrily.

  “It would seem that the world knows a great deal about how I am placed,” she said rather sharply. “If you think that Dr. Wolfe is such a catch, why do you not champion Lord Eynsford as well? He is far wealthier and vastly more important.”

  Bainstall laughed. “Eynsford was amusing himself, Letitia,” he said. “That man will not wed a widow with children. He will never make you an offer.”

  “But he has,” answered Letitia coolly. “Did not Dr. Wolfe inform you of that as well as every other detail of my life to which he is privy?”

  Bainstall turned to her, a look of astonishment on his face. It gave Letitia a small thrill of enjoyment to see the baron, customarily totally composed, so astounded.

  “Do you mean to say that the Marquess of Eynsford has offered you marriage?” he asked. “Then why are you here, living in rented rooms? Surely you should be at Milverton?”

  “I said he proposed, I did not say I accepted,” responded Letitia.

  Bainstall sat down heavily on a convenient bench. “Do you mean to say that you turned down Lord Eynsford?” he demanded. “What sort of folly is this? He is as rich as Croesus, Letitia!”

  “And just a few moments ago he was a hardened libertine with suspect motives,” observed Letitia. “Surely you would not wish me to marry such a man?”

  “That he had the grace to propose after placing you in such an awkward situation, surprises me very much,” said Bainstall. “But that you did not accept is astounding. Letitia, he is the greatest catch in England. His past reputation by no means makes him an undesirable parti.”

  Letitia hunched a shoulder and turned from him. “I will not marry where I cannot trust, nor will I marry where I cannot love. Thus, I will not be marrying Lord Eynsford or Dr. Wolfe,” she said firmly.

  “I see that you are far more foolish than I had believed,” said Bainstall. “If you will not marry Eynsford, which I will tell you is a great piece of folly, then you must marry Dr. Wolfe.”

  “I am not obliged to marry anybody,” said Letitia. “I am managing quite well on my own.”

  “You will very quickly come to grief if you persist in this way of thinking,” responded Bainstall. “It pleases you to play at being independent, but it is obvious that you are incapable of taking care of your own affairs. Your behavior since your removal from Morgan Park to Kensington has led you from one folly to another. I beg you will allow me to take you in hand and see what I can do to repair your situation.”

  “You would repair my situation by selling my son’s inheritance and marrying me to a man I do not care for,” said Letitia. “I do not choose to do either.”

  The baron shrugged. “You are obstinate, Letitia. Obstinate and ungrateful. I have done my best to aid you, to give you good advice and, by finding you a suitable husband, to provide you with the elegancies of life, and you thwart me at every turn. Now you have turned down, without consulting me, a proposal of marriage from one of the richest and most eligible men in the kingdom. You should think well on your folly. I will call on you tomorrow; if you have not made up your mind to listen to me I will wash my hands of your affairs. You will not have me to turn to again.”

  Letitia raised one hand to her throat. Despite her protestations of confidence and her dislike of her cousin’s meddlesome ways, it was frightening to think that she might be cut off from the only family she possessed. She didn’t want to depend only on Isobel, nor did she wish her children to be raised without knowing their relatives. But then the image of Dr. Wolfe arose before her eyes and she was able to respond quite levelly.

  “I am sorry you feel this way, Cousin. While I value you as my kinsman, I cannot take advice that I do not think would make me happy.”

  Bainstall gave her a small bow. “I hope you reconsider, Letitia,” he said. “I wish only your well-being.” He turned and walked away while Letitia gazed after him, a worried look in her eyes.

  James came running up then and grabbed her hand.

  “Mama,” he said, “is Cousin Charles coming back?” he asked.

  “He will call on us tomorrow, Jamie,” said Letitia in a calm voice.

  “I don’t like him,” said James. �
��Does he have to call?”

  “He is your cousin, and is concerned for you, Jamie,” responded Letitia. “You must try to like him.”

  James looked doubtful. “Mama, I don’t think Emily is well,” he said. Letitia looked across the sand to where Emily sat. She did appear very fatigued, and Letty ran over to her. The child smiled at her, but the slight flush Letitia had noticed earlier was greatly heightened and her eyes were very bright. Letitia scooped her up in her arms, frowning as she felt the little girl’s forehead.

  “We must get Emily home,” she said to James. “Come along.”

  “Will she get better soon?” asked James.

  “Of course she will,” said Letitia firmly. “We must get a doctor to come and see that she is properly taken care of.” She hurried back to her rooms, a great deal more concerned than she wished James to know.

  By the next morning it was clear that Emily was a very sick child indeed. The doctor had shaken his head over her and spoken of typhus, and now Emily burned with fever and nothing would comfort her.

  When Bainstall came to call, he was surprised to have to wait some time for Letitia to appear, and even more startled when she entered looking not at all like her usual collected self. She wore an old gown that showed signs of having been considerably crumpled, and her hair was escaping in small wisps from its severe style. It was evident that she had slept little, if at all, for her eyelids were heavy and her eyes touched with red.

  “What is this, Letitia?” he asked. “Why is the house in such a furor?”

  “Emily has a fever,” she said. “I am sorry, Cousin, but I have no time to debate my future just now. You had best go, especially with the chance of infection so high. You may do as you choose in relation to my situation; I am considering no marriage proposals at all until my daughter is well.”