The Thai Dragon

by Lilburne, Guy

  “Why are you so angry?” she asked again, calmly.

  “Why? Why?… because, I don’t feckin know why. You make me angry. Why are you?…….”

  “Why am I what?”

  “Why are you? Oh, I don’t know. Just forget it.”

  Chapter 18 Time to talk.

  The short drive back to the apartment was made in silence and, by the time they got into the lift to take them up to the apartment, the silence was deafening. Ying opened the door and walked through the apartment and out onto the balcony. Danny made some notes on the white board and wrote in quotes ‘HER LIFE WAS A PARTY.’

  Ying watched the dark clouds rolling in and she could feel the rain in the air. She walked back into the apartment.

  “Yes, I have a penis.”

  “What!”

  “When I told you that I am a Katoey, you told me not to treat you like an eejit and asked if I had a dick or not. Now I’m telling you. Yes I have a penis. It‘s small and I hate it, but I have one.”

  “I’m not bothered and I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Danny, we have to talk about it. You are making me crazy.”

  “So you’ve got a feckin dick. So feckin what?”

  “I was born with it. I don’t like it and I didn’t want it, but I have it.”

  “Ying, why on earth do you want to be half man and half women? You are neither one thing nor the other, for fecks sake!”

  “I was born a woman. But I have a penis and not a vagina.”

  “Why don’t you have the feckin thing cut off? You’ve had your boobs done.”

  “I haven’t had my boobs done, they are real. I told you, I was born a female. I am a woman. I have known all my life that I’m a girl. When I was growing up my boobs grew and my voice didn’t break. I don’t shave. I am a woman in a woman’s body but I have a penis. I am a Katoey, a Ladyboy. I’m not gay, so I have never been with a woman and I am only attracted to straight men. I have never had a boyfriend because what straight man is ever going to love me?”

  “Jesus Christ Mother of God! I’m sorry Ying.”

  “You asked why I don’t have it cut off. Well, I want to, but I’m scared. You remember the old monk at the orphanage?”

  “Yes, of course I do.”

  “He is from the same village as me. He has known me since I was a little girl. He looked after me after my parents died. He had a dream when I was 14 years old and, in the dream, I had grown up and fallen in love with a man. So I had the operation to remove my penis and I died on the operating table. The monk told me about his dream and said that I must never have the operation to change my penis into a vagina or I will die. He said that the right man will love me for me. I have never had a lover, because I have never met the right man and I have never met a man who I would love so much that I would risk having the operation. I hate my body but I have to live with it. Buddha gave me this penis for a reason, for something I have done in a previous life. This time it was my turn to come back as a Katoey. I think because in my previous life I was horrible to the third sex, so this is to remind me. So now you tell me Danny O’Brien, Why are you so angry with me?”

  Danny poured himself a brandy and went out onto the balcony and lit up a cigarette. The rain had started again and looked like it was coming down in straight lines. It made the air cooler. He blew the smoke out into the rain.

  “Please Danny, tell me. I need to know why you are so angry with me. What have I done to you?”

  Danny took a deep breath.

  “You shouldn’t hate your body, it’s beautiful. You are beautiful. I’m sorry for the things I said to you and the way I acted. I’m sorry.”

  “But why did I make you so angry?”

  “Ying, you know why.”

  “I do not.”

  “Because you made me, ……Look I just don‘t want to talk about it. Okay.”

  “Because I made you what?”

  “Ying, I just like you. I liked you straight away and then I liked you more as we got to know each other. I think I was angry with myself, for liking you so much, and then I was disappointed when you told me that you are a man.”

  “I’m not a man. I’m a Katoey.”

  Danny suddenly moved his arm to reach inside the breast pocket of his jacket and Ying put her hands up in defense and jerked back.

  “Jesus! I’m going to hit you! Is that what you think? I’ve never hit a woman in my life. I was going to show you a photo.”

  He took his wallet out and opened it up and pulled out a tatty and creased photo. The colour had faded slightly.

  “This is the only photo I have of my wife and kids. It was taken the year before they died.”

  Ying looked at the photo. She recognised the blonde lady. It was the lady who had visited her in her dream the first night that she stayed at Danny’s apartment, but she decided not to say anything about that to Danny.

  “She is very beautiful. So are your children. Have you told them that you love them since they died?”

  “And what would be the point of that?”

  “It would make you feel better and it would make them happy too. It might help you to let them go now.”

  “Ying, I’m sorry really. Can you forgive me?”

  “Yes, I already have. Every day I say a prayer to Buddha to help make you happy in your life. And I also ask him to help you stop smoking and drinking. I worry about you. Underneath all your sadness you have a good heart. I can feel it.”

  They went back inside and started going through the mobile phone numbers. Most of them they managed to ring and arrange to meet the person. The one number that was no longer available was for Boots. Ying had the number checked and it was for an unregistered pay as you go phone. Boots did not want to be traced.

  The chemistry between Danny and Ying was back to how it was before she had told him that she was a Katoey. They chatted easily again and laughed and smiled at each other. Danny stopped thinking of her as a man or a woman or even as a Katoey. She was just Ying and she was beautiful and he liked being with her. They got some food in as darkness fell and they relaxed together on the settee. There was a comfortableness about them now, which they had not had before. Ying got closer and closer to Danny, until her body was close enough to snuggle into him. It was gradual and slow, but he didn’t push her away. He put his arm around her and stroked her hair. It smelled sweet like perfume and felt soft and clean. She felt safe in his arms. She felt wanted. She felt loved.

  “Ying, I want to see your tattoo.”

  “How do you know I have tattoo?”

  “I thought you wanted me to see it. I saw it in the hotel in Bangkok, when you left the bathroom door open.”

  “Oh!” Ying laughed, “No. I opened the door to let the steam out. I couldn’t see the bathroom mirror. I thought that you were out on the balcony.”

  “Can I see it?”

  “Do you really want to?”

  “Yes, I do. I get it now. You are a woman, I know that.”

  Ying sat forward and turned her back slightly towards Danny and unbuttoned her blouse. She was nervous and couldn’t stop her hands from shaking. She pulled the blouse out of her skirt and undid the cuffs. She slid the blouse down over her shoulders and let it drop to the bottom of her back. Danny tugged the sleeves down her arms and dropped the blouse onto the floor. He fumbled slightly as he undid her bra and then pushed the straps forward. Ying took it off and folded one arm across her breasts. Her breaths were short and shallow now. She undid the button and zip on the side of her skirt and pulled it down slightly so that Danny could see the dragon’s tail on her buttock.

  Danny could see the magnificence of the tattoo, now that he was this close to it. The colours were truly amazing. It was a masterpiece on her delicate back. He moved her long hai
r over her shoulder and took in the curves of her naked shape. She felt his fingers caressing the dragons outline and it made her take a little gasp. His fingers stroked the green dragon, gently running over the intricate scales and teeth and claws. His hands lay on her back and he moved them round her body until he cupped her breasts in his hands. He felt her nipples erect between his fingers. She felt him lay his head on her back as he held her and she felt his tears, wet and warm on her skin.

  “Is this the Thai Dragon that is going to destroy me?” he asked.

  Ying could not answer, because her own tears were running down her face now and if she tried to speak she would cry. Danny moved his hands again onto her back, gently massaging her soft skin. His hand followed the dragons tail onto her right buttock and then up and over her hip and down under her skirt into her groin. Danny held her penis cupped in his hands and she heard him sobbing.

  He stood up and she watched as he subconsciously wiped his hands on his shirt.

  “I’m sorry Ying, I can’t do this. You are a woman, the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen. You’re all woman, except for the one place that matters. If I love you, then I will have to hate myself. I’m sorry.”

  He looked at Ying, naked to the waist and tears running down her face. She looked vulnerable, but so beautiful. He turned and grabbed his jacket off the back of the chrome dining chair and, as he was walking out of the apartment, he heard Ying say

  “Chan rak khun, teelak.”

  Chapter 19 Into the night.

  He walked out into the warm night air and, because he turned left out of the apartment complex, it meant that he was basically heading towards Bangla Road, but that did not register with him. He didn’t know where he was going, he just needed to think.

  Patong was a different animal after dark and, walking along, Danny noticed it more. He walked past beggars here and there scattered along the pavement, each holding out a tin cup and waiing him as he approached. Some of the beggars were women sitting on the pavement with babies suckling at the breast. Some were people with missing limbs. Danny just nodded to most of them. To some he tossed some notes into the cup, but he could not stop at everyone.

  Every spare inch of ground was now taken up with street vendors setting up temporary stalls, displaying their wares on a blanket or on the steps of the shops, now that they had shut for the day. Every gap between buildings, or any derelict ground, was taken up selling souvenirs to passing tourists, or cigarettes or beer or flashing plastic toys that attracted the tourists’ children so easily. Prostitutes wondered around smiling and speaking to every farang they passed.

  “Hello, handsome man. You want lady tonight?”

  Mobile cooking stalls filled the night air with wonderful smells and there were the sounds of tin utensils stirring the sizzling food in woks. Bar girls, dressed in tiny tops and miniskirts, paraded at the front of each bar, trying to entice customers inside. Young girls were wrapped around old men, shrieking with laughter and pretending that he is the funniest man she has ever met. Flashing lights and booming music, beautiful smiling women calling you inside, no wonder the bars were all full. No man need ever be alone here, and it looked like nobody was.

  Danny found himself at the top of Bangla Road. Ying and Phong had taken him here the first night and he had walked along here with Ying in the daytime. He walked about halfway along and went into Moon’s Bar, a hole in the wall type bar on the left hand side and sat at a tall wooden table. He was looking across at Soi Crocodile, the ladyboy bar street. He didn’t realise it when he sat in Moon’s Bar, but now he was there he ordered a drink and watched the ladyboys dancing on and around the podium at the top of Soi Crocodile.

  Some of them were pretty, but Danny could tell straight away that they were men. Even the ones that got their surgically enhanced boobs out were easy to spot. So how come he did not know about Ying? These Katoeys each had something that gave them away, maybe a deep voice or Adams Apple, big hands or feet, a shaving shadow or just too much makeup. They acted camp. They were different from Ying. Danny felt lost. He did not want to have feelings for Ying, but he did.

  He had not noticed the girls in Moon’s Bar, but now one was standing right in front of him, a pretty thing with big breasts and a small waist. Her nails were perfectly manicured and she was wearing a black mini dress that laced up the front. The top of the laces were loose and undone just enough so that he could see that she wasn’t wearing a bra. She had a wide smile and brilliant white teeth.

  “Hello. My name Nok. How you do?” She put her hand out to shake. Danny had already got so used to the traditional Thai greeting that the offer of a handshake caught him off guard. He shook her hand, which she did very slowly and leaned into Danny. Her other hand dropped onto his crouch and she massaged his penis with it.

  “This Patong. Why you look sad. Everybody happy. Patong party place.”

  Danny didn’t move her hand. He knew that he should have done, but the heavy dull throbbing growing between his legs felt so good. Nok could feel him growing erect in his trousers.

  “You want I make you happy?”

  “Holy Jesus!” he moved her hand away. “Look, you’re a pretty thing and I’d be delighted to talk to you, but you don’t have to do all this stuff. I’m grand thanks.”

  “You buy me lady drink?”

  “What’s a lady drink?”

  “It’s a drink for lady who talk in bar with you.”

  “Jesus! You are a real lady, aren’t you?” Danny suddenly panicked.

  Nok took his hand and put it under the hem of her mini dress. She pressed with one of her fingers, pushing his finger inside her vagina.

  “Yes. See, you make me very wet already. You handsome sexy man. I like.”

  Danny removed his hand.

  “Sure, I’ll have a drink with you, but I don’t want all this sex stuff. I’m not here for that. But I’d be delighted to talk awhile. Maybe I could ask you some stuff?”

  “Okay. No problem.” Nok flicked her hand at the girl behind the bar, who then sent her a drink over and pushed the bill in the wooden cup on Danny’s table with his first bill.

  “What your name?” smiled Nok.

  “Danny. What’s yours?”

  “I tell you. You no listen. My name Nok.”

  “Nok?”

  “Yes. Hello Danny.”

  “How yer doin, Nok?”

  “What you want to ask me?”

  “What does ‘Chan rak khun teelak’ mean?”

  “Oh! I think pretty lady say this to you. You already have Thai girlfriend.”

  “What does it mean?”

  “It mean, I love you darling.”

  Danny didn’t reply. He ran the words through his mind again. He could hear Ying’s voice speaking them to him as he walked out of the apartment.

  “Where your girlfriend now?”

  “Jesus! She said she loves me” he said, almost to himself.

  “Yes. This is what she say. Where your girlfriend now?”

  “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s not even a girl. I thought that she was, but she isn’t.”

  “She Katoey?” smiled Nok.

  “That’s what she said, but she isn’t like those ladyboys over there.”

  “No. I know many different type of Katoey. Like the sea, same same different. Some deep, some not deep so much.” She flipped her hand over trying to sign the word she had forgotten.

  “Shallow?” offered Danny.

  “Yes, shallow. My brother Katoey.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Katoey not all the same. Some gay men, some half half. Some women in man body. Some have sex change, some just man in dress, same same different.”

  Danny laughed. He liked Nok now. She smiled a lot and, even though she was a bit over the t
op with the sexual approach, he thought that she had a good heart. Suddenly, she was interesting.

  “Nok, it’s too loud to talk properly in here. Can we go somewhere quieter to talk?”

  “Yes, can do. No problem. You pay bar fine?”

  “What’s a bar fine?”

  “Here very cheap, only 400 baht. (£8)”

  “What is it for?”

  “It money go to bar to let me leave bar with you. Then you pay me as well.”

  “How much do I pay you?”

  “You want short time or long time?”

  “What’s the difference? I just want to go somewhere and talk to you.”

  “Short time, one hour sex 1000 baht (£20). For long time, all night and sex” she hesitated and looked Danny up and down weighing up what he would probably pay. “Long time 2000 baht (£40). Okay?” she smiled

  Danny laughed again.

  “I’ll pay the 2000 baht. I don’t know how long we will chat for, but I like your company. And you won’t have to have sex with me. Maybe we could go and get something to eat or something? Or find a quiet bar out of the noise.”

  “Okay. No problem.” Nok beamed him a huge wide smile and then grabbed the wooden cup holding the bills and went to the bar where they wrote out another bill, this time on blue paper. Nok came back with the three bills in a red folded wallet.

  “Danny, the bill is 700 baht for the bar fine and the drinks. You pay me later.”

  Danny handed over 800 baht and told Nok to keep the change. She wai’d him and took the money back to the bar. She went to the back of the bar, picked up her handbag and waved to the other girls, who were all smiling and nodding and waving back. She wai’d to the Buddha bust high up on a shelf above the bar, before she went back to Danny