Savannah came in a few minutes later to find me with my palms on the island and my head hung down. “You okay, honey?”
I inhaled deeply and let it out just as slowly. “Yeah… No…. God, I don’t know.” I took a few more deep, cleansing breaths.
“How about now?” she asked. She stood there calmly while I tried to pull my shit together.
“Yeah. I think I’m good now.”
She walked over to stand beside me and leaned into me. “I’m not going to give you a hard time… I just want to make sure you know what you’re doing.”
I knew she was talking about how Luke and I were acting towards each other. The fact that she wasn’t going to lay into me and tell me I was making a huge mistake meant so much to me. “I’m not gonna lie, Van. I really don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing.” We both laughed at that. “But I’m just taking things one day at a time and trying to do what makes me happy.”
She wrapped me in a tight hug. “That’s all I want. For you to be happy. If taking it one day at a time to see how things play out makes you happy, then I’ll back you… every step of the way.”
We headed back into the living room, fresh beers in hand, just in time to hear Jeremy yell “Shots! That zombie went for the jugular. That’s a shot!”
The only thing better than watching The Walking Dead was turning it into a drinking game. Whenever a zombie went straight for the throat, everybody had to do a shot.
After the day I had, I was glad to be having such a great night. I grabbed the shot glass Stacia held up for me and downed it with a smile.
CHAPTER 16
Everyone started to file out after we watched Andrea off herself in the final episode of season three. Trevor was still having trouble coping with the fact that Merle didn’t make it. Standing at my front door, he looked at me with a hangdog expression. “I just don’t understand. Why did it have to be Merle?”
I reached up and patted him on the head. “It’s just a TV show, Trev. Don’t get so emotionally invested.”
“It should have been Glenn. That guy’s been acting like a little bitch ever since he got back from Woodbury. It should have been him.”
I pulled him into a hug and tried to stifle my laughter. “Tell you what. Next marathon night we’ll watch New Girl. It’s funny as hell and it’ll pull you out of your zombie-induced depression.”
He was still mumbling about how unfair it was as he made his way to his car. Closing the door, I turned around to find Luke picking up the empty beer bottles scattered around my living room. “Your friend’s got issues,” I said as I joined the cleanup.
“That’s an understatement.”
“You really don’t have to help clean. I planned on getting to it in the morning.”
He lifted his shoulder in a slight shrug. “It’s no big deal.” He finished picking up in the living room, and I headed to the kitchen to start in there. He joined me a few minutes later. Resting his hip on the island, he just stared at me before saying, “This was a lot of fun.”
I looked up from where I was wiping down the counter and smiled genuinely. “Yeah, it really was.”
He stood there looking deep in thought as he flipped a beer cap between his thumb and index finger over and over. “I just want to thank you. You know… for inviting me and Trevor.”
I placed the dish rag on the counter and turned to face Luke full on. Folding my arms over my chest, I replied. “Well, we’re trying to be civil toward each other, right? And besides, Trevor’s a hot mess. It’s always fun to have someone like that around.”
He let out a small laugh before getting serious again. “I know Brett and Savannah still have issues with me, but it was nice being able to be here with no drama.”
I immediately felt the need to defend them. “They’re just protective of me. I’m sure they’ll eventually get over it. Please don’t take it personally.”
“It’s definitely personal, Emmy, but I can’t be mad at them for it. I understand why they look at me the way they do and honestly, I’m glad you’ve got people like them at your back. I fucked up, and they’re watching to make sure I don’t do it again.”
I suddenly found it difficult to look him in the eye. I just stared down at my feet. “They’ll come around eventually.”
I could sense him walking closer before his hand went under my chin and lifted my face, so we were eye-to-eye. “What about you, Emmy? Have you come around?” As I looked into those green eyes, I knew he was asking something much more serious than I was comfortable with. I couldn’t allow myself to go there with him.
“I can try and give you my friendship, Luke, but that’s all I’ve got. And even that’s a stretch for me.”
He just scanned my face and smiled. “That’s good enough,” he said as he started for the door. I’d just released my breath when he added “… for now.” The front door clicked shut after that.
Well shit. That’s not good.
***
LUKE
“You’re kidding right?” Trevor asked in disbelief. “You hate clubs. The few times I dragged your ass to one, you stood up against the wall looking like someone pissed in your corn flakes.”
I took off my gun belt and sat it on the bed before heading to my closet. Emmy and the rest of the girls decided they wanted to go dancing tonight and I wasn’t missing out on an opportunity to spend time with Emmy. I yanked a black button-down off the hanger and tossed it on the bed. “Well, this is what everyone decided they wanted to do. It’s either go to a club or sit in this shitty apartment all night.”
“You don’t even dance.”
I finished taking off my uniform and quickly re-dressed. I only had twenty minutes to finish getting ready before I had to meet everyone in the parking lot of Virgie May’s. “Who said I had to dance? I’m just going to hang out with friends and enjoy myself. It’s not a big deal, Trev.”
He looked skeptical. “Uh huh.”
I rolled my eyes at him and asked “You comin’ or not?”
“Oh, I’m coming all right. I’ve never seen you trip over yourself for a piece of ass before. Emmy’s got you in knots, and I’m not gonna miss a second of this.”
I quickly turned around and shoved my finger in Trevor’s face. “Refer to Emmy as a piece of ass one more time, and I’m gonna break my foot off in yours. We clear?”
“Whoa man.” Trevor held up his hands and took a step back. “Crystal clear, brother.” Trevor stood there watching me for a few seconds before speaking again. “What happened with you two? I know there’s a story there, so don’t bother denying it.”
I leaned back and looked at the ceiling as I raked my hands through my hair. I really didn’t want to get into mine and Emmy’s past, but I knew Trevor wasn’t letting it go this time. “I moved down the street from Emmy when I was about six. She was my best friend all my life until I joined the Marines.”
“So what happened? She wasn’t cool with you enlisting or something?”
Giving up the hope of being able to give Trevor the short version, I plopped down on the edge of my bed and continued. “Nah, she eventually got used to the idea. I mean, she wasn’t thrilled at first, but she always supported my decisions.” He just stood there, waiting for me to go on. “A few days before I left, we ended up sleeping together. I freaked out and did something really fuckin’ stupid to try and push her away.”
“What’d you do?” Leave it to Trevor to ask the questions I didn’t want to answer.
“I picked up a chick from a party… I knew Emmy and this girl hated each other, that’s why I chose her. I was leaving for Basic the next day, and I wasn’t answering any of Emmy’s calls. I knew she’d come lookin’ for me before I took off, so I took the girl home and Emmy walked in on her giving me head.”
I sat there and let Trevor process what I just told him. “What the fuck, man?!” he finally said after several very tense seconds. “That’s just twisted. Why the hell would you do something like that? From what I’ve see
n, Emmy’s fuckin’ awesome.”
I let out a groan before answering. “I know… Fuck! I know, all right. I said it was stupid. I was twenty years old and freaking the hell out. It was a mistake.”
“Dude, no wonder she was pissed at you for so long. You’re lucky she’s even talking to you now.”
I’d never wanted to punch Trevor more than I did at that moment. “Thanks for stating the obvious, man.” I stood and we headed out of the apartment to meet everybody. “Look, I know what I did was messed up, but I’m back now, and I’m trying to fix it. That’s all I got.”
Trevor slapped me on the back before heading around the passenger side of my truck. “For your sake, I hope you can. Emmy’s cool as shit. Hell, she’s the type of girl that would make even me consider a serious relationship.”
“You try, and I’ll break every bone in your body.” Trevor just threw his head back and laughed as he climbed into the truck. He never took anything seriously.
CHAPTER 17
EMERSON
“I don’t care how much you love Taylor Swift. If you request one more damn song, I’m gonna punch you in the ovary!” If I had to hear her voice once more, I was going to shoot someone.
“Oh, come on!” Savannah whined. “I haven’t even heard “I Knew You Were Trouble” yet!”
“And you won’t if you’re smart. The only thing worse than listening to her is listening to you sing along to every one of her songs. It’s like two cats in heat being shoved in a sack, drowned, pulled out and then run over.” I wasn’t intentionally trying to hurt Savannah’s feelings; she really was that awful.
“Geez, Emmy, that’s not hurtful at all.”
Trevor cut in then. “Have you heard yourself sing, cher? You’re hot and all, but damn! It’s… I can’t even… It’s just... so bad.” The fact that he couldn’t even form a coherent sentence to describe the level of awful that was Savannah’s singing was proof enough.
Everyone at the table was laughing as Savannah grumbled about how much we all sucked. The night had been amazing so far. I could tell that Brett wasn’t one hundred percent on board with Luke being back in the fold, but he was still able to act somewhat pleasant. Even though all of the guys refused to dance, everyone was enjoying themselves. When “I’m Sexy and I Know It” came over the speakers, Stacia and Lizzy both squealed and pulled me and Savannah out onto the dance floor.
I was having so much fun there was no way I was going to let the pain caused by my four-inch platform heels keep me down, even if I wouldn’t be able to walk for a couple of days.
When I spun around, the sight in front of me nearly had me toppling off of those heels. Standing next to Luke was one of the prettiest women I’d ever seen. Her shiny blonde hair hung down her back in waves that I couldn’t have pulled off with all the product in the world. The tiny black dress she was wearing would have looked trashy on someone else—say, me—but on her, it looked fantastic. Even I was mesmerized by her killer legs. How did a person have legs that damn long? I hated the bitch. I was a hot, sweaty mess from dancing and could barely walk in my ridiculous shoes, and she looked like a freaking rock star.
Luke let out a bark of laughter at something she whispered in his ear and my chest constricted at the sound. I hated the jealousy I felt at seeing him with another woman. Why couldn’t I just get over him? My bright mood deteriorated and when I turned back, I caught Savannah’s gaze. Her brows furrowed when she saw the distress written all over my face. Her eyes travelled over to where I was looking and the furrow disappeared and was quickly replaced with a look of understanding.
She pointed over to the bar and I didn’t hesitate. I pushed my way through the crowded dance floor and plopped down on one of the vacant stools. My feet were throbbing. Once she was next to me, she glared and started right in. “No, Emmy. Do not do this.”
“Do what?” I knew denying anything was pointless when it came to Savannah, but that didn’t stop me from trying.
“Don’t give me that. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Her eyes travelled back over to the table where Luke was sitting with Club Barbie. I followed her gaze, and felt that tell-tale pain flair up again. Tears started to well up in my eyes and I had to blink fast to keep them at bay. Savannah saw that and the pitiful look she gave me made things even worse. “Damn it,” she whispered. “I knew this was going to happen.”
“What the hell is wrong with me, Van? It’s like I’m a fucking glutton for punishment. I don’t want to want him, so why can’t I just stop?”
She reached over and wiped away the few stray tears that had escaped. “I don’t know what to say. I wish I had the answers, but I don’t. All I know is if you keep going like this, you’re going to end up exactly where you were before. You have to make a choice, Emmy. You can either be friends with Luke and find a way to handle seeing him with other women, or you can cut the strings. Just accept that a friendship with him isn’t possible and cut your losses.”
I inhaled and exhaled slowly, working to control any more tears. “You’re right. I know you are but—shit, I didn’t think it would be this hard.”
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but maybe it’s time for you to start moving on.”
“What do you mean?”
“You haven’t dated since… well, you haven’t dated in a really long time. Maybe it’s time to put yourself out there. You’re only twenty-six. You deserve to find a guy that worships the ground you walk on. Preferably one you don’t have a horrible history with.”
The idea of being in a relationship hadn’t appealed to me in a very long time. My friends all knew why, so they didn’t really push, but considering Luke was back in town, maybe it was time. The problem was I didn’t know where to start. I was a twenty-six-year-old woman who wasn’t even sure how to begin putting myself out there. None of my past experiences with men made me want to try again. There were so many things I had to take into consideration before I decided if I was ready. I had to be sure that I was considering dating again for the right reasons. I didn’t want to open myself up to the possibility of another man just because Luke returned. That wouldn’t be fair to me or the other person. I had to make certain my head was in the right place.
I voiced my concerns to Savannah, but I got the impression that she’d stopped paying attention. “Well, love. Looks like you’re going to have to figure that out sooner rather than later.”
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
“Because you’ve got one tall, dark and handsome coming your way right this second. I’ll leave you two alone.”
I grabbed for her arm in a panic. Was I ready for this? “Don’t you dare, you bitch.”
“It’s for your own good.”
“You walk away and I swear, you better sleep with one eye open.”
She turned and looked over her should then shouted at nobody “What’s that, Lizzy? Yeah, I’ll be right there.” Then she took off. She was so dead the next time I got my hands on her.
“Hi,” a voice came from behind me before I had a chance to escape. When I turned around, I was shocked to see that Savannah hit the nail on the head. This guy was most definitely tall, dark and extremely handsome.
Well hello, I thought to myself. I stared for several more seconds before realizing I was a complete moron and hadn’t responded back. “Uh… Hi.”
Fucking brilliant, Emmy!
I could see the rise and fall of his shoulders as he chuckled. Sparing me any more humility, he held out his hand and introduced himself. “I’m Chase.”
“Emerson,” I responded, shaking his hand. There was one thing that immediately stood out from our handshake. Chase’s hands were really soft. Like, freakishly soft. It was obvious that he hadn’t done a single day of manual labor in his life. His skin was so soft that I started to feel self-conscious about my own hands.
Soft hands aside, the guy had an amazing smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Emerson. Can I buy you a drink?”
“Yeah, sure
,” I replied, giving him my full-watt smile. I might not have been sure if I was ready to jump back into the dating pool again, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t do a little harmless flirting. And who better to flirt with than a dude who looked like he just stepped off the cover of GQ?
Sitting at the bar talking to Chase, it didn’t take me long to realize there wasn’t a love connection. It wasn’t because I didn’t enjoy talking with him; we just weren’t all that compatible. But what our conversation did help me to realize was I’d forgotten just how nice it felt to be the sole focus of a man’s attention. I hadn’t allowed myself to receive that kind of attention in so long; it was almost like my body craved it. I had no desire to take things any further with Chase, but that didn’t meant I wanted to stop our interaction. I was having too much fun.
We couldn’t have been talking for more than a half hour when Luke came walking up to the bar and pushed his way between me and Chase. “You about ready to go?” he asked. Brows furrowed and eyes dark, it wasn’t hard to tell he was angry. I just didn’t know what about.
“Uh… Luke, this is Chase.” I pointed back and forth waiting for Luke to acknowledge the other man. “Chase, the guy who just rudely interrupted us is Luke, an old friend.”
Chase tried to be polite and extended his hand to shake. “How you doing, man”
Luke just let out a grunt and turned back to me. “You ready to go or what? Everyone wants to head out.”
I leaned around him to apologize to Chase, then grabbed Luke’s arm and pulled him away. “What the hell is your problem?” I spat at him.
“My problem is we’re ready to leave, and you’re slowing us all down.” His demeanor hadn’t changed one bit since the start of the conversation. If anything, he only seemed to be getting angrier.
“Then go, no one’s stopping you. I came in my own car.”
“You’ve been drinking.” He crossed his arms over his broad chest like he was preparing for a fight.
“I’ve had half a drink in the past hour. You want to leave? Then leave. I’m not keeping you here. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go back to Chase.”
Picking up the Pieces Page 9
