299 Days VIII: The War

by Glen Tate

  Grant was slipping into argument mode where he had to rebut each point she made. He told himself he wouldn’t do this, but Lisa was out of her league when it came to military and political affairs. Grant thought of a dozen detailed reasons why she was wrong and why they would be worse off if they didn’t go on offense against Olympia. He started to tell her the first reason, but he held back.

  She wanted to get into a big argument about some little detail and then tell herself she was right about that detail. She needed a little thing to feel right about instead of acknowledging the reality that they were in a war and her husband was leaving to fight it.

  “There are a lot of things you don’t know,” Grant said calmly, to avoid the debate on details that she wanted. “Trust me. You are safe.”

  “Trust you!” Lisa shrieked. “Yeah, trust the guy who has now left his family twice.” She put her face in her hands and started crying.

  “It was hard enough to trust you after you left the first time!” she sobbed. “Now this. How stupid am I?”

  That was when Grant knew his marriage was over. If Lisa, who was always the smartest person in the room, thought she’d been fooled, then she would never, ever let that happen again. She would never trust him again. Period. He knew it.

  Suddenly, Grant was cold all over. He got dizzy and started losing his balance. He regained it. He felt like all the blood had drained out of him. He must be going into shock.

  Lives, fortunes, and sacred honor, the outside thought said remorsefully. This is your sacrifice.

  Things immediately became clear. Crystal clear.

  Everyone was suffering in some way during the Collapse. Most people were becoming hungrier with each passing day. Most were scared of gangs or the government. Grant had done extremely well when it came to food and security. He was going to come out of the Collapse a winner. So he had thought, but he was wrong.

  His sacrifice wasn’t being hungry or his family being scared of gangs in their neighborhood. His sacrifice was having to leave his wife and kids.

  Grant thought about all the Revolutionary War heroes and the sacrifices they had to make. Seventeen of the signers of the Declaration of Independence left their families and fought for years on the battlefield. Five were captured by the British, one dying a horrific death while incarcerated. Others lived like animals, constantly being hunted by the British. Many had children killed or captured. Eleven signers lost their entire fortunes, many with their homes being burned to ground by the British and their families captured.

  Looking at the sacrifices of those around him, Grant thought about Lt. Col. Hammond. He was married, but his family was hiding somewhere. He might never see them again. Gideon’s family was in Philadelphia going through who knows what. Nick, the medic, was separated from his wife and new baby. Many of the soldiers had wives and girlfriends that they would never see again.

  And these were the only sacrifices Grant knew about. In a few days, many people—including him—might be dead, maimed, or captured and tortured. The sacrifices were only starting.

  This was the price for fixing things. This was the price a society pays for letting itself fall apart. For getting fat, lazy, and stupid. This was the price for constantly choosing big government over liberty. Collapse—brutal, painful collapse—was inevitable. Even the innocent, like Grant, would have to suffer in order to restore things.

  “Why do you hate me?” Lisa sobbed. “Why are you doing this to me? And to the kids?”

  “I don’t hate you,” Grant said. “I love you and the only way for us to have any kind of life is to end this situation. I’m ending it. I’m stepping up to end it.” That seemed pretty reasonable to Grant.

  “You’re leaving,” she cried. “You’re trying to fix the government, but you won’t stay here and fix us. I don’t get it. We need you.”

  Grant just listened. He would not try to persuade her. She was taking a war personally. Grant realized how impossible it was to reason with someone who was taking a war as a personal insult. He couldn’t help. He couldn’t persuade anyone when emotion was running this high.

  “The only ‘normal’ thing I have anymore is you,” Lisa said. “My job, my house, my friends … nothing is normal anymore. All I have is you. And the kids. But you are leaving us.”

  Grant let her cry for a while more. Might as well get it all out of her system. She calmed down after a while.

  “Where are you going?” she asked.

  “I can’t say,” he answered.

  “Classified?” she retorted sarcastically.

  “Who are you going with?” she asked. She had to know what was happening to her husband.

  “My unit,” he said without emotion.

  “You said they aren’t gate guards,” she said. “So who are they?” Grant realized that she wanted to find out if he was with people who were good soldiers or not; she wanted to see if he was on some suicide mission. He could reassure her on this point.

  “Some extremely good soldiers,” he said. “Special Forces, regular Army infantry, some Marines, and some Navy and Air Force, then there’s the Team, and … lil’ ole’ me.” He left out the part about untrained civilians. That would only worry her.

  “Wait,” she said, as her razor sharp intellect kicked back in and she re-established some control over her emotions. “You are the commander or whatever of Special Forces? You?”

  Grant laughed. That broke the tension. “Yep,” he said. “Believe it or not. But only a couple guys are Special Forces. They tell me what to do.”

  Lisa laughed. That was a good sign.

  “Why are you the commander?” she asked. Her very logical mind could not leave this illogical situation alone.

  “Because I know how to get communities up and running,” he said with a shrug. “They call it ‘civil affairs.’ You know, getting people fed, working together, medical care, a newspaper, postal service, a library … that kind of stuff. They looked at the success of Pierce Point and said they needed that in the rest of the state.” This wasn’t exactly true. Grant had not been sought out by Patriots as much as Ted knew that his young shooting buddies had a basement full of AR-15s in a cabin out near Olympia. The civil affairs stuff was an afterthought. And Grant had jumped at the opportunity to join the unit.

  “How does this make you a commander?” she asked.

  “Our mission is not to fight the bad guys head-on, but to come in after the real troops beat the bad guys and we will get things back up and running,” he said. That was partially true. There would be lots of fighting once they occupied the city, but he wouldn’t worry her with that.

  “So you won’t be in combat?” she asked, praying the answer was no.

  “Nope, not really,” he said. “We have guns, of course, but we have guns out here at Pierce Point and nothing big ever happens.”

  Lisa’s immediate concern that her husband was going to die had passed. It sounded like he wouldn’t be in real combat, he’d just be feeding people, or whatever. But then she wondered, how could she trust him now after months of lying? She couldn’t possibly believe that he was going off to feed people without any risk to himself, but she didn’t want to learn more about what he was doing and then worry about how dangerous it was. She would rather know he was lying about the low risk of what he was going to do than know exactly what he would be doing.

  Now her concern returned to her husband lying to her for months.

  “So all the times you told me about the ‘rental team’?” she asked.

  “Was a lie,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. We have to keep the unit a secret. We don’t want to give the Limas any reason to poke around out here.”

  “Limas?” she asked.

  “Oh,” he said, realizing that she had never heard that term before. He had been living in another world for months. Not in her world. He explained what “Lima” meant.

  She started crying again, but softly this time. “You lied,” she said. “You lied to me. You made me look stupid b
y believing you for months.” She was also hurt that he didn’t believe she could be trusted with the truth about the unit. She would have never told anyone because that could get her husband hurt. Why didn’t he trust her?

  All Grant could say was “I had to.” He didn’t expect to persuade her, but he needed to explain to her why he did what he did. He had to.

  “Go away,” Lisa said. “Leave. Go be with your little Army buddies.”

  Grant knew that was coming. This conversation was over. He went to hug her. She pushed him away.

  He had half expected her to hug him, but she wouldn’t. He reminded her, “You said the last time that if I hugged you everything would have been okay,” referring to when he left her in Olympia and went out to the cabin.

  “That was last time,” she said coldly. “That was before you’d done this a second time. I can never trust you again, Grant. Never again.” She walked off.

  That was that. It was over.

  Grant waited a few seconds for her to turn around and run back to him. He laughed at himself for being so sappy. Of course a hug that made everything okay wasn’t going to happen. Be a man, he said to himself. Get your gear, say goodbye to your kids, and go fight a war. That’s what men do. That’s what Grandpa did. This is your sacrifice, he said to himself again.

  As they headed up the stairs to the cabin, he remembered a very practical detail.

  “Hey, you can’t tell anyone about the unit,” he said to her.

  “Oh, I owe you a favor?” she snapped back. “Sure, you’ve just left me and the kids for a second time. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  “Seriously, you can’t tell anyone about this until after we leave,” he said. He hadn’t thought through this part of his confession to her, and knew he was pushing his luck. Maybe he should have waited until right before they left. He probably should have. But he couldn’t be around her anymore without telling her.

  “What happens if I do?” she shot back. “Are you going to ‘court martial’ me?”

  “Kind of,” he said. “Seriously, if you are planning on telling anyone about this, I need to let the unit know and they’ll have to do something about it.”

  “Now you’re threatening me!” she yelled. She said it loud enough for the kids to hear in the cabin. He needed to calm her down.

  “Okay, no one is going to court martial you,” he said. “But if you tell people what’s going on with us, me and about …” he almost said, “one hundred,” but didn’t want her to know the size of the unit, “… several people, including me, will get killed or captured,” he said. “Is that what you want? To get even with me by having me killed?” He had been resisting getting some licks in on her in this argument, but couldn’t hold back any more.

  She started crying again. “You said there was no danger and now you say you’ll get killed if I tell anyone. Which is it?” She was quick.

  “There won’t be any danger if you don’t tell people,” Grant said, surprised that he came up with that one so quickly. It wasn’t a bad comeback.

  He pointed at her and said, “You just said I’m a bad husband and father because I am leaving you and the kids. Now it’s my turn to throw out an outrageous charge. Do you want to get me killed?”

  “I’m thinking about it,” she said and a laugh erupted out of her, against her will. Then she became totally emotionless. It scared her.

  “Make you a deal,” she said calmly, coldly. “You get the hell out of here and never come back and I won’t tell the authorities about your little Army buddies.”

  That was chilling. All the emotion had left her; she was speaking far too calmly. She couldn’t possibly love him if she could say what she just said. She wanted to be rid of him. He knew it.

  After a few seconds, Grant’s next thought was that he was relieved that she wouldn’t tell anyone about the unit. Then he realized this was a trap. If he agreed to leave in exchange for protecting his “Army buddies,” then she’d tell herself that he picked them over her. He was in a no win situation.

  “No deal,” he said. “I’ll go turn myself in, if that’s what you want.” He called her bluff, which she didn’t expect.

  She thought for a moment, knowing that she had no intention of turning him in or telling anyone about the unit. She didn’t want to get him killed or captured. She was just seeing if he cared more about his little guerilla friends than her. He had passed the test.

  “Okay, I won’t tell anyone about this, but you get the hell out of here,” she said with a coldness that terrified Grant … and herself.

  He nodded and began wondering what he’d tell the kids.

  Chapter 265

  “Are You Going to Put Bad Guys in Jail?”

  (December 26)

  Grant walked into the cabin for what he assumed to be the last time. He had been thinking about what this moment would be like for months and, now that it had actually arrived, he had no idea how it would go.

  Leaving Olympia, and his family, at the beginning of the Collapse had been relatively easy. He had just shot some looters while the riots were going on. He was a marked man given his political ties. He had a safe place to go. Leaving a second time was not as easy, however. It was way harder.

  Instead of leaving danger for safety like he did the first time, he was now leaving safety for danger. Grant thought about not going. He actually thought for a split second about just quitting the unit. Ted could take care of things.

  No, the outside thought said firmly. You have been placed in this position for a reason. Make your sacrifice. You won’t regret it. Your family will be fine.

  Okay, then. There was no arguing with that. Once again, Grant could see clearly what needed to be done, and he had the strength to do it.

  He motioned for Manda to come outside.

  “What’s up, padre?” she said. She was so innocent. She had no idea what he was about to do.

  “I need to go work for a while,” he said. That didn’t surprise her. She’d seen him go for a few days at a time.

  “Okay,” she said, turning around to go back inside.

  “No, hon, for a long time,” he said. “Like, maybe for a few weeks. Maybe a few months, but maybe longer.”

  “Oh,” she said. “What will you be doing?”

  “I can’t really talk about it,” he said, “but it’s fixing things. You know, the government. Fixing that.”

  She was starting to understand. “Will it be dangerous?” she asked.

  “Nah,” he said like it was no big deal. “I’m with some very good people, like the Team.” He shrugged. “They won’t let anything bad happen to me. You know how they are.”

  She nodded. She still didn’t understand what he was going to do. “Is that the ‘rental team’ thing?” she asked.

  “Kind of,” he said. “Basically, yes.”

  She would miss him for a while but it wasn’t the end of the world. He’d be coming back. She knew he would.

  Then she started thinking about it. All the guns, all the soldiers, all the danger she’d heard about in the cities. There was a reason the Team and her dad trained so hard. They would be doing something with guns in the dangerous cities. She knew what danger and guns were all about from when she had to shoot Randy Greene. She didn’t want her dad to have nightmares like she was having. He had been so good to her and their family. She didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. But she had to be a tough chick so he wouldn’t worry about her. Like after she shot Greene and tried bravely to say, “Two to the chest, one to the head.” She would put on a confident face so her dad wouldn’t worry.

  “Well,” she said, “I’ll miss you, but go do whatever it is you need to do.”

  Grant’s heart melted. If only her mom had seen things that way. Then again, Manda was more like him than her mom. Grant got choked up. “Yep,” was all he could get out.

  “Your mom is kinda mad at me right now for going,” he said.

  “Of course,” she said. “She thi
nks guns are dangerous and all that stuff. She’ll get over it.”

  Grant’s heart melted a second time. God, he prayed, please let Manda be right. Her statement that Lisa would get over it would give Grant the strength to go out and do all the horrible things he would be doing in the next few days. Manda’s statement that Lisa would get over it might save his life, he thought.

  Grant started to cry. “You’re right, honey,” Grant said. “She will get over it.”

  He recovered and said, “So, there are tons of people protecting you and Cole and mom.”

  Manda nodded. “Yeah,” she said like Grant just stated the most obvious thing.

  Grant pointed toward the guard shack. “There’s Gideon at night and Jon or Mary Anne during the day. There’s Chip and the Crew.” They would be staying behind at Pierce Point. “There’s Dan and the gate guards. There’s Rich. There are a lot of people.”

  Manda nodded. “There’s Jordan, too,” she said. Ah ha, Grant thought, this is the reason it’s so easy for Manda to see Grant leave. She had Jordan. Grant wasn’t offended that he’d been replaced. He was relieved. She was no longer a little girl. She was a young woman. Grant needed to make room for the next man in her life.

  “Right,” Grant said, “there’s Jordan.” Grant hugged her. “Lots of people will take care of you, but you always have to take care of yourself.”

  She nodded.

  “You did a great job of taking care of yourself when someone tried to hurt you,” Grant said. “You did a great job. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  Manda started to cry. “I know,” she said. She was not the same perky teenager she’d been before the shooting. She seemed okay, but Grant wondered if she’d ever be the same. Sacrifices, he thought. Sacrifices.

  “I’m not worried at all about your brother,” Grant said. “Know why?”

  Manda shook her head.

  “’Cause of you,” he said. “I know you’ll take great care of him. You already have. It’s been remarkable how much you’ve helped him,” Grant said. “Keep it up, Amanda.”