Savage Splendor (Savage Lagonda 2)
Page 30
Mara looked into the dark eyes of Tajarez and was almost blinded by the love she saw reflected there.
"Did I love you before?" she asked as her hand drifted down his arm and her fingers laced through his fingers.
"You said that you did," he told her as he raised her hand and kissed it softly.
Her free hand pushed a strand of dark hair from his handsome face. "It would seem that I fell in love with you twice, then."
Tajarez cupped her face between his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. "Are you saying that you love me now?"
Her voice caught in her throat. "I love you so much it hurts."
"Beloved, I have waited so long to hear you speak those words to me," he said as his hand drifted over her hips.
"I feel as if this is not the first time I have said those words to you. I must have said I love you many times."
"Not nearly enough," he murmured in her ear. Sounds of pleasure issued from her lips as his hands moved over her breasts. "Having babies does no harm to your body, Mara, you are still unblemished.
"I have only had one baby," she whispered, wondering how his stroking hands could awaken her body so easily. "Tajarez, am I . . . was I promiscuous?"
"No." Her soft curves were driving him wild with renewed desire.
"Are you the only man I have ever been with?"
He raised his head and looked at her, a smile playing on his lips. "I am the only lover you have ever had."
"I am glad. I would not like to think I would allow anyone but you to touch me."
"Beloved, I wish you could remember all we shared in the past." His smile deepened. "We shall make new memories."
Mara closed her eyes as his hand rested on her thigh. She remembered when he had told her he loved his wife. Was it possible for a man to love more than one woman? She could not imagine ever loving anyone but Tajarez. The woman who was his queen began to fade from her thoughts as Tajarez pulled her beneath him. She met his forward thrust and soon everything faded from her mind but sensations that seemed to move the very earth. If her mind did not remember Tajarez, her body had not forgotten him, for she obeyed every command his body issued to hers.
Afterwards he rolled over on his back and pulled her on top of him, his hands moving lovingly over her body. Resting her head on his shoulder, Mara closed her eyes. A feeling of peace descended on her. It was as though, after searching for so long to find where she belonged, she had at last come home. She could not think about tomorrow, when she must plan how she could leave. Tonight belonged to her.
"Beloved, do you still not remember?"
"No, I remember nothing."
Moments passed and they were content just to hold each other. Mara was quiet for so long that Tajarez thought she might have fallen asleep, until she raised her head and looked into his face.
"Tajarez, are you permitted to have more than one wife?"
Now was the time to tell her that she was his wife, he thought. But no, Tabo was visiting one of the other Cities, and if Mara should have an extreme reaction to finding out that she was the queen, he wanted Tabo to be present in the palace. He would send for him tomorrow, and by tomorrow night he would tell Mara who she was, even if Tabo objected.
"No, Mara, I am permitted but one wife. Even if my wife were dead I would be unable to remarry."
"Why is that?" she asked with a heavy heart. She would even be willing to share him with another, if he could marry her, she thought.
"Were there not a son to become prince royal and my wife were to die, I would then be required to take another wife."
"I do not understand."
"It is believed that the prince royal should have no rival brothers from a different mother."
"Like Andrew?"
Tajarez chose to misunderstand her. "Mara, brothers of the same mother and father are rarely jealous of one another, not if they are raised properly, but a half-brother could be envious of the prince royal."
"Yes, I can see what you are saying. But what about Andrew?"
"Mara, I want you to know that I love Andrew every bit as much as I do Hamez and Tamera."
"You pointed out to me how Andrew would be treated in the white world. Will he be treated any differently here in this valley, as the illegitimate son of the king?"
"I can assure you that Andrew will be well received."
Mara laid her head back against his shoulder and spoke so softly that he almost did not catch her words.
"Do you have any other illegitimate children?"
His body shook with laughter. "No, I have no children other than Hamez, Tamera, and last, but no less important, Andrew."
"Oh."
"Let us not talk of others, Mara. I want you to think only of me."
Indeed, Mara was unable to think of anything but him as he raised her head and captured her lips.
Mara fell asleep in Tajarez's arms feeling loved and wanted.
The next morning Tajarez arose early and dressed. He moved silently so he would not awaken Mara. There was much to do today, and the most important thing was to send someone to bring Tabo back to the palace.
Mara awoke and reached out her hand for Tajarez but discovered he was gone. She knew she had not dreamed the night before, for her lips were swollen from Tajarez's kisses, and her body was strangely alive. She climbed quickly out of bed and picked up her discarded gown. She needed some answers, and she knew who could supply them for her. She would visit Sasha.
It was only a short time later that Mara stood before Sasha's door rapping softly. The door was opened by Sasha herself, and the Indian woman's face lit up at the sight of Mara.
"Is my brother here?" Mara asked as she stepped into the room.
"No, but I am sure if he knew you wanted to see him, he would come at once," Sasha said, knowing how much Jeffery had suffered because Mara would not talk to him.
"I did not come to see Jeffery. I want to talk to you."
"I will get you a cup of coffee. Would you like breakfast?"
"No, coffee is fine," Mara said, sitting down.
Mara waited impatiently for Sasha to return with the coffee, and when Sasha handed her the steaming brew Mara placed it on the table without tasting it.
"Sasha, I want you to tell me about the queen."
Sasha's eyes widened. "What would you like to know?"
"Anything and everything."
Sasha set tensely on the edge of her seat. "I, like everyone else, love the queen. After Jeffery and John, I love her best in the world. She is kind, and is always thinking of others before herself."
"What does she look like?"
"I think she is by far the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, and many share that opinion, especially the . . ."
"The king," Mara finished, feeling as though a knife had pierced her heart. "Does Tajarez love the queen?"
"Yes, he loves her above all else."
Mara closed her eyes. Was Tajarez a man who loved two women, or had he told her nothing but lies last night?
"If Tajarez loves the queen as you say he does, why would he be unfaithful to her?"
Sasha's face seemed suddenly to be drained of its color, and she leaned forward and spoke in a hushed voice. "You must not say this thing, Mara. The king would never betray the queen, to do so would mean his death!"
"W . . . what are you saying?"
"I am saying that it is forbidden by law for the king to seek pleasure with anyone other than his queen. Should he do so he would be put to death. It is the law."
Mara jumped to her feet and covered her face with her hands. She was sobbing, and Sasha stood up to put a comforting arm around her shoulders.
"Oh, Sasha, what have I done? Had I known, I would never have allowed Tajarez to make love to me!" She pushed Sasha away from her. "Promise me you will say nothing of this to anyone. Oh Sasha, I have condemned him to death, if anyone finds out." She grabbed Sasha's hands and pleaded with her, tears streaming down her face. "I must get away!"
&nb
sp; Sasha felt tears in her eyes at what Mara was suffering so needlessly. "I would never betray you or the king," she promised her.
"Sasha, do you hate me, do you feel I have betrayed your queen?"
"No, Mara, I do not feel that way at all." Sasha now thought that keeping Mara's identity from her had been a mistake from the start, and she decided to tell Tajarez that he must tell Mara the truth. "Mara, I think you should tell Tajarez how you feel."
"No, I must not ever see him again," Mara started pacing the floor. She had to find a way to escape.
"Sasha, you must help me get away, there must be some way to leave this place."
"I would do almost anything you asked of me, Mara, but I will not help you in this."
"I must go," Mara said, rushing toward the door. "Tell no one what I have said to you, Sasha."
Sasha watched with heartbreak written on her face as Mara left. She was usually a soft-spoken, kind person, indeed, few had ever heard Sasha raise her voice in anger, but she was now determined to tell Tajarez just how she felt about the way Mara was being made to suffer. She had no fear that Mara would be able to make good her threat to leave the city. Too many people were watching her. But Mara would try, and she would be devastated when she did not succeed.
Mara fled down the stairs and out into the garden. She knew she would never be able to make her escape through the front entrance of the palace. If she were to get away unseen, it could only be through the garden.
26
A heart that is broken does not easily mend.
How can I leave him? I cried to the wind.
Mara looked about the garden, thankful that no one seemed to be about. Her eyes scanned the high wall and she knew she would never be able to scale the stone structure. Walking the length of the high garden wall, she searched for a gate.
The wind whipped her gown and she could see heavy clouds in the distance. It had grown colder and she thought it would snow again before the day was out.
Mara could not seem to think straight. All that mattered to her now was making her escape. She told herself that Andrew would be well cared for, Tajarez had said he loved him and would not her son be better off here with his own kind than with her in the white world? Mara tried not to think about the night before. Her loving Tajarez had come at a high price if it was going to cost him his life. She was almost frantic now, searching for some means of escape.
Finally, in an obscure corner of the garden, Mara found the gate she had been searching for. It was made of heavy wooden logs and looked as solid as the wall that supported it. She was unaware that tears were streaming down her face as she pushed against the unyielding gate with all her strength.
Mara heard someone calling out her name and turned her head in the direction of the palace. Fearing that whoever it was would discover her at the gate, she rushed toward the big pond. The gate and her escape would have to wait until she could get rid of whomever it was who had called out to her.
When she reached the pond, she sat down on one of the marble benches. Her shoulders slumped and sobs shook her body. Mara surrendered herself to total misery. A familiar shadow detached itself from the background and knelt down beside her. Feeling someone's presence, Mara raised her head and looked at Palomas. His face was full of sadness and compassion.
"Do not weep, Mara. When it seems the night is at its darkest a star will light the sky."
"Everything seems so hopeless, Palomas. The days and nights both are void of any light for me."
"I feel grief that you are sad, Mara."
She wiped her eyes on the back of her hands and tried to smile. "I do not know you very well. Why should you be sad for me?"
"I know you, Mara."
She sighed heavily. "Everyone seems to know me but me."
Palomas reached for her hand, but then thought better of it. "Mara, there are many who know you and wish for your complete recovery."
"Palomas, sit beside me and tell me about your queen," she said, wanting to change the subject. "Tell me she has a flaw, a fault, or that she is at least human."
Palomas sat beside her on the bench and smiled. "My queen has a temper, and she can become very obstinate when she does not get her way."
"Are you saying she is selfish?" Mara asked hopefully.
"No. She is the most unselfish person I know." Palomas was unaware that his eyes had become soft as he spoke of his queen. "She is very beautiful. When she enters a room all other women seem to pale to nothingness. She is soft-spoken and cares a great deal about others."
"I believe you love her, Palomas."
"Everyone loves her, Mara."
"Yes, but you feel more deeply about her than others. I can sense it."
Palomas studied his fingertips. "I love her, yes, but not in the way you might think. My happiness is in watching over her and seeing that she is safe. When she smiles, which she often does, my heart is gladdened. When she is sad, which she has often been lately, it tears at my heart. I love her not as a woman, but as something rare and lovely."
"Do not tell me any more," Mara said in a whisper. "I fear your queen is becoming an obsession of mine. I am often reminded of her beauty and kindness." Mara looked over her head and saw the dark clouds had all but blocked out the light of the sun. "If it is your duty to protect the queen, why are you not with her now?"
Palomas stood up. "I await the day she returns, Mara. I have missed her."
"Palomas, will you do me a favor?" "I am yours to command," he said softly. "Will you help me leave this valley?" He sat down beside her once more, frowning, "Why would you wish to leave?" "I think you can guess, Palomas." "Because you love the king." Mara did not bother to deny the truth. If Palomas knew of her love for Tajarez, how many others had guessed? How long would it be before they learned that she and Tajarez had been lovers? "Please help me, Palomas. I have no one to turn to."
"Mara, I cannot help you in this, in fact, should you try to leave, I would prevent you from going." "But why? I do not understand." "The king would never allow you to leave." "I do not belong to your king; the queen belongs to Tajarez. I tried not to love him, Palomas. I could not seem to stop myself. If you love your queen as you say, help me make my bid for freedom."
Palomas's face darkened and he looked past Mara to the high garden walls. Mara had suffered enough, he thought. He intended to tell Tajarez, to beg him if need be, to tell Mara the truth.
"I cannot help you in this, Mara. Perhaps tomorrow you will feel differently."
Mara stood up and walked slowly toward the palace, aware that Palomas followed. No one would help her, therefore she must help herself.
When Mara entered her bedroom she found Falon waiting for her. "Your brother Jeffery has been searching for you, Mara." Falon told her.
"Did he say what he wanted?"
"He said that he would see you tonight. He seemed to think you were upset about something. He questioned me about your state of mind, but I told him nothing."
"Was there anything to tell?" Mara said, watching Falon closely.
"I know you have been very distressed about Andrew being taken from you, but I did not say this to your brother."
Mara relaxed. Perhaps Falon did not know that Tajarez had spent the night with her. She would have to be very clever today so that the girl did not suspect that she would make an attempt to escape tonight.
"Do you know if Tajarez is in the palace today?"
"Jeffery said he has ridden to one of the lesser Cities to bring Tabo back here."
Mara felt relief. Perhaps Tajarez would not return tonight. The only thing she would have to worry about would be Jeffery and Palomas. It was strange how calm she felt now that she had made the decision to leave tonight. She ate everything on the tray Falon brought her and then dismissed the girl, telling her she would not need her anymore that day.
After Falon had withdrawn, Mara searched through her belongings until she found the doeskin gown and moccasins. She was glad she had not discarded them. Wh
en she had dressed herself, she braided her hair and looked at her image in the mirror. No one would be fooled by her appearance. Searching among her belongings, Mara found a fawn-colored doeskin cape that was lined with mink and had a wide hood that would disguise her golden hair.
After she was ready she paced the floor, waiting for the shadows in the room to warn her that night had fallen. Mara knew she was not being rational, but it did not matter. For now all that mattered was getting away from Tajarez. She did not have any food, no weapon, and no horse. She did not have a clue as to where she would go once she was outside this valley. All she knew was that she must escape, that was the driving force in her life. Everything else was secondary. Mara knew that if she allowed herself to think about Andrew she would weaken. She must think only of the danger to Andrew's father should she not make her escape. She wondered for a moment how Tajarez would explain Andrew to his queen, when she returned. He would not be able to tell her Andrew was his son. Had not Tajarez told her the queen knew that he loved her last night? She could not remember.
Mara rose from the bed where she had been sitting. The room was now dark. Night had fallen. Pulling her fur cape about her, she opened the door and peered out. No one seemed to be about, so she stepped into the hallway. Cautiously she made her way to the garden. She was halfway across the anteroom when she heard voices. Flattening herself quickly against the wall, she hid in the shadows, just as Jeffery and Sasha passed in front of her.
"There is no longer any reason for you to be concerned, Sasha. By tomorrow the whole City will know that the queen has returned." Jeffery said.
Mara did not hear Sasha's reply. They had already begun to climb the stairs and their voices did not reach her ears.
Mara stifled a sob behind her hand. So the queen had returned. It had now become imperative that she escape tonight. Tears blinded her eyes as she raced across the room and out into the garden. When she reached the garden she ran to the corner where she had discovered the gate earlier in the day. She tugged on it and pushed against it, but the gate did not yield. Mara became frantic, whimpering sounds issuing from her throat as she pushed against her only escape route. With renewed effort she braced her shoulder against the gate and pushed with all her strength. She was finally rewarded by the sound of splintering wood, which apparently had been rotten, or she would have never have been able to push it open.