Love Inspired Historical October 2013 Bundle: A Family for ChristmasThe Secret PrincessTaming the Texas RancherAn Unlikely Union

by Winnie Griggs

  Anticipation coursed through his veins. It had been so long since he had attended a church service. He was eager to worship, eager to do so with Jacob and Reverend Henry. The person he most wanted to see, though, was Emily.

  He hoped she would be there. He wanted to thank her for her prayers. She had carried on where Mary had left off. She had displayed Heaven’s grace, gently insisting that God had not given up on him.

  Evan knew the days ahead would still be difficult. Upon returning to the hospital, and with each subsequent battle, his attitude of forgiveness would be tested. He wondered just what he would feel the next time he came face to face with a Maryland reb. He wondered what he would think. He knew he would never agree with their politics, their course of action, but he prayed that the peace he felt in his heart this morning would remain.

  When he arrived at the church, the congregants were already gathering. After quickly surveying the area, he found Emily near the front steps. She was speaking with a young private. The left side of the boy’s face had been scarred by shrapnel. He was missing an ear. The wound was enough to make most women of her status shrink back. She, however, was encouraging the man.

  “Your Kathleen sounds like a wonderful woman,” Evan heard her say. “I would not worry. I am certain she will view those scars as a mark of bravery.”

  Well done, he thought. That is exactly what he needs to hear.

  “Thank you, miss,” the soldier said. “I appreciate that.”

  Standing there, Evan realized what a gift she was. Every person Emily Davis came in contact with was blessed in some way.

  Including me.

  When the soldier tipped his kepi and went into the church, Evan stepped forward.

  * * *

  “Good morning.”

  Were it not for those broad shoulders and neatly trimmed side whiskers, Emily would not have recognized him. He looked that different. Where was the scowl? Where were those piercing eyes?

  He removed his kepi. The early October sunlight revealed flecks of copper in his nut-brown hair.

  “You have returned” was all she could think to say.

  “Yes. I thought I would actually step inside the building this time.”

  Emily blinked. Was that a joke or had he actually spent the previous day in the churchyard? Had he found the congregating mixed company so detestable that he felt he must distance himself from any Confederate sympathizers, lest his loyalty be tainted?

  She pushed the thought aside. The smile on his face at present made it difficult to believe such a thing. “Is Dr. Turner with you today?” she asked.

  “He did not arrive with me. I am meeting him here.”

  “Oh.”

  “Have you seen him?”

  The pleasantness of his voice set her heart to fluttering. She tried to ignore it. “I have not, but then I also have just arrived.”

  The look on his face then grew serious. “I wanted to thank you.”

  “Thank me?”

  “For praying. What you said...’twas true. My pride and my anger were destroying me and bringing grief to everyone around me.”

  A lump the size of a cobblestone filled her throat. She tried hard to swallow it back. Her heart was pounding.

  “But God in His mercy has forgiven me,” he said. “And I, by His grace, have forgiven, as well.”

  She could not believe her ears. Had he really just spoken of forgiveness or had she imagined it?

  “Emily!”

  Both of them immediately turned in the direction of the voice. Sam and Julia were approaching. Baby Rachael was in her mother’s arms.

  “You are here!” Emily said, hugging her friend.

  “Yes,” Julia replied. “Our first outing.”

  Sam greeted Evan with a handshake. “Dr. Mackay, how good it is to see you again.”

  “Indeed,” Julia said. “We were just speaking of you last evening.”

  Emily glanced at Evan. He looked like he didn’t know how to respond to that. Surely he was wondering in what manner he had been the subject of conversation.

  Sam explained, “We are most appreciative for what you have done for our family. We would be pleased to have you join us for supper one evening.”

  “Supper?” he said, obviously surprised.

  “We wish to show our gratitude not only for Rachael’s delivery but for your care of my brother, as well,” Julia said.

  With the mention of Edward, Emily expected his look to darken. It didn’t.

  “Have you heard from the major?” he asked. “Is he well?”

  Is he well?

  Emily’s jaw dropped, but she closed it before anyone noticed. It must be true. He has forgiven his enemies. For a moment she had trouble breathing.

  “We have not heard from Edward directly,” Sam said. “But we now know that he has arrived safely at Point Lookout.”

  Evan nodded and then said to Julia, “I pray your brother will recover completely from all of his wounds.”

  The look in his eyes told Emily his words were genuine. Her emotions further stirred. Has the Lord answered my prayers?

  “Thank you, Dr. Mackay,” Julia said. “Please do come for supper. And, Em, you come, as well.”

  What? Emily desperately tried to rein in her thoughts, quell her excitement. “Oh...well...I would not wish to intrude.”

  “Dr. Mackay must have a dining partner,” Julia insisted. “And you are the perfect choice.”

  Perfect choice? When she noticed the agreeable and eager look on his face, it took all she had within her to keep her feet on the ground. Was he actually going to accept the invitation? Would this staunch Unionist dine in a Baltimore home? With her?

  Just then, Emily’s mother and father stepped up to join them.

  “Well, Doctor,” Mr. Davis said, extending his hand, “I noticed you were here yesterday.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “How are things at the hospital?”

  Watching, Emily continued to marvel. Evan no longer spoke to her father as though he was a member of the occupying army, reminding a rebel citizen who was in control. He looked at him with the respect a younger man owed an older one.

  Her ears were ringing.

  “We were just trying to convince the two of them to join us for supper,” Sam said.

  “Oh?” her mother replied.

  Emily gulped. She noted the smile, that interested tone in her voice. The intrigue on her father’s face was quite evident, as well. Did they think Evan would make a suitable husband despite the color of his uniform?

  No, she wanted to say, for their benefit as well as her own. He isn’t interested in courtship. He is still in love with Mary.

  Her parents continued to smile. Emily’s cheeks burned. All she wanted to do was escape their gaze, flee his presence. She couldn’t bear the thought of Evan recognizing what was going on. She would be mortified.

  Surely it is time for the service to begin. Why don’t they ring that bell?

  “Well, we will leave you to make your arrangements,” her father said. He then looked back at Evan. “When you have finished, Doctor, we would be pleased to have you claim our pew.”

  No! I shall never be able to concentrate on prayer if he is with us!

  Evan nodded. “Thank you, sir.”

  Her parents stepped away. Emily drew in a quick breath, then vaguely heard Sam say something about next week. Evan mentioned a half day off.

  “Then it is settled,” Julia said. “Supper, next Friday.”

  Before Emily knew it, he turned to her. “T’would be my pleasure to escort you,” Evan said.

  The look on his face made her throat go dry. “Thank you,” she somehow managed.

  The church bell rang. Sam motioned toward the sanctuary, and he and Julia turned.

  “Shall we?” Evan said as he offered his arm.

  Thoughts aflutter, Emily slid her gloved hand around his blue wool. She wondered if he could feel her trembling.

  * * *

 
Before this morning Evan would not have believed it possible. Yet here he sat in a Baltimore church, a guest of a Southern lawyer and his family. They were to his left. Jacob Turner and Reverend Henry were to his right. He was enjoying himself, and he sang with fervor. Though old and familiar, the hymns seemed so new, so fitting.

  How precious did that grace appear, the hour I first believed.

  He had to confess, though, that at times his worship was tainted, especially when he noticed certain persons in the congregation. Among the blue was a sprinkling of local businessmen who were well-known gray, yet Evan forced himself to listen carefully to their spoken prayers. The Maryland men did not ask for victory, but for the safety of loved ones, for an end to the bloodshed. With those things, he could agree.

  Seated beside him, Emily appeared to be having difficulties of her own. He watched discreetly as she repeatedly knotted, then unknotted her hands. She had never been one to display nervous tendencies before. He wondered if it had to do with him.

  He had forgiven Andrew’s murderers. He had forgiven Southerners who had taken lives of Northern men, but in her mind, did his past deeds outweigh his words? He hoped she could see the difference in him, but he supposed that was too much to expect. He had seen the look of surprise on her face when he’d wished Mrs. Ward’s brother good health.

  Truth be told, he was just as shocked. Where those words had come from he was not certain. He hadn’t actually thought to express the sentiment but upon doing so, he’d discovered he did mean each word. He honestly hoped the major would recover from his wounds, that he would be reunited with his family.

  Evan had never imagined that family would extend an invitation to dine in their home. He had been so cold to them. Yet, in spite of his actions, they had modeled Christian kindness. Just as she has done repeatedly.

  He eyed her once more. Emily’s hands were clasped tightly on her lap. When they rose to sing the departing hymn, Evan held the songbook for them to share. She did not lift her voice. He remembered the last time music had been an issue. His heart sank.

  I blasted her for that rebel battle song. No wonder she will not sing with me beside her now. No wonder she trembles so. It is just like that night with the major. She may wish to show kindness, may wish to look brave, but inside she is terrified. He winced at the thought of causing her to fear. I must show her that I am not the man I was before.

  But he did not know how. He didn’t have the opportunity to speak with her further, for when the service dismissed, Jacob and Reverend Henry insisted he meet a Union colonel in attendance. Evan barely had time to bid the Davis family good afternoon before he was pulled away.

  * * *

  Emily needed air. While her parents chatted briefly with several church members, she exited the building. Julia was outside beneath the maple tree. Apparently little Rachael had gotten fussy.

  “Is she all right?” Emily asked.

  Julia bounced her from side to side. “Yes. She just wished to add a few ‘amens’ of her own during the service, so I took her out.”

  Emily watched the baby nibble on her fingers. Most days she was the spitting image of Julia. Today she looked like Sam.

  “Dr. Mackay seemed most pleasant,” Julia said. “Almost a changed man.”

  “Indeed.” Emily could still feel the tingle in her cheeks. The pew had been full. Twice the sleeve of his frock coat had brushed her arm.

  “Do you think he might be willing to speak to his commanding officers, to allow you to reclaim your position at the hospital?”

  As happy as she was at his presence, Emily knew there was no point wishing for things that could not be. Colonel Cole would never take her back without her agreement to sign a complete oath. “It isn’t really up to him.”

  “Well, I suppose not. I appreciate your willingness to attend supper. I did not think of it when I first asked you, but I imagine it will be difficult to dine with him, given all that has taken place.”

  It would be, but not in the way Julia thought. “Don’t worry about that. I am pleased that I can help.”

  In truth, the thought of the anticipated evening made Emily practically giddy. But it will be only as Julia hopes, she reminded herself. Gratitude shown to a man for his skills as a physician. I will assist in providing polite, intelligent conversation. He will then return to his work, and I will continue to search for mine.

  Before the ache could fill her heart, she changed the subject. “Did Sally come to the meeting today? I have not seen her.”

  Julia sighed. “No. Sam and I stopped by her house beforehand, but she said she had a headache.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. I hope she will recover soon.”

  “So do I, but it isn’t the headache that concerns me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I worry about her, Em. One day she seems to be doing better—the next she will not leave her house. I know she is still mourning Stephen but... Well, surely you have noticed it.”

  She had. Since Julia had taken full responsibility for her house following her convalescence, Sally had seemed to retreat to her own. She had come to the sewing circle and had attended church a few times, but that was the extent of her outings. Sally’s melancholy seemed worse since Edward’s transfer to prison.

  “Have you talked to her about it?” Emily asked.

  “Yes, or at least I have tried. Beyond speaking of Rachael, she doesn’t have much interest in conversation.”

  “Perhaps we should surround her with company.”

  “We should indeed, but I fear it will take more than that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I hope that Edward is paroled soon.” Julia sighed once more. “For her sake and mine.”

  * * *

  Evan spent the remainder of the afternoon in Reverend Henry’s home. Following a quiet supper with the couple, he and Jacob then returned to the hospital. As the carriage drew closer to Pratt Street, uneasiness filled his chest.

  Such begins the real test, he thought. I do not wish to think and act as I did before, Lord. Please help me.

  “Are you all right, son?” Jacob asked.

  Evan drew in a deep breath. Forgiving rebels from the sanctity of a minister’s library or within a house of worship was one thing. Actually coming face-to-face with them again, in an arena where he was accustomed to feeling only anger and disdain, was quite another.

  “Pray for me, Jacob.”

  “Already have, my boy. Already have.”

  The carriage turned. Pratt Street came into view. Evan jostled atop the bench seat as the wheels wobbled over the uneven stones. The shops were closing for the evening. Businessmen were locking their front doors, returning home. Thoughts of Andrew and his fellow soldiers swirled inside Evan’s head.

  I have forgiven them, he reminded himself. I have forgiven them.

  They pulled up to the front entrance of the hospital. Jacob handed the reins to a waiting man, and the two climbed out. Evan straightened his shoulders, forced his feet forward.

  Upon entering the building, Jacob slapped him on the back, then headed for his room. Carpetbag still in hand, Evan turned for his ward. Oil lamps cast his long shadow across the buckling floor.

  When he opened the door, he glanced about. The beds were full. The odors of blood and ether still prevailed. The smell of rotting fish drifted in from the harbor. The hospital was exactly as he had left it.

  But he was different.

  Evan studied the scarred, pale faces before him. For the first time since his brother’s death, he saw not enemies but his fellow countrymen. They were weak and weary and in need of Heaven’s grace, just as he was.

  His heart squeezed.

  God help them, he thought. May this war come to an end before any more on either side are killed.

  * * *

  Emily visited Sally’s home the following morning. The wreath on the front door had been removed but her friend could at best only greet Emily with a half smile.

>   “I brought you an apple pie,” Emily told her. “Abigail sent it.”

  “Please thank her for me.” Sally set the dish on the table behind her. She did not invite her into the parlor. Emily could tell this was going to be a short visit.

  “Julia told me you were ill yesterday. Are you feeling any better?”

  “Somewhat, but I am still very tired.”

  Emily didn’t doubt that. The circles were prominent under her eyes. Poor thing.

  “Sally,” she said gently, “I know it is difficult right now, but is there anything I can do for you?”

  Her friend shook her head, her chin quivering slightly.

  “Julia and I are concerned about you.”

  “I know. She was here last night.” Sally sniffed. “I know you both mean well. I just...I can’t talk about it, Em.”

  “I understand.” Emily hugged her tightly. Sally’s black taffeta crinkled to the touch. “I am praying for you...and for Edward.”

  She stepped back and wiped her eyes. “Pray this war will end soon.”

  “You have my word.”

  As she left, Emily did her best to keep faith. The week, however, was long and discouraging. As promised, her father had made several inquiries concerning opportunities for service in nursing and other charitable activities, but his effort was to no avail. The local private hospitals all said they had no need for female nurses at that time. A society that ministered to war widows and orphans stated that due to past problems, they no longer accepted unmarried women as volunteers.

  Emily had also applied to the agency that tended to the former slaves in the contraband camps outside Washington. They, too, had turned her down.

  I must be patient, she told herself. I do not believe God would give me such a desire for service if He did not intend to use it in some way. He has a purpose. He has a plan.

  * * *

  The last of the Gettysburg wounded had arrived. Evan walked along the dock. Rows and rows of men lay beneath the vast October sky. Their forms were equally emaciated, and one could not distinguish which were blue and which were gray unless they spoke.