Half Black Soul

by H. D. Gordon

  It took her no time at all to recognize me. She threw open the door, and I had to take a step back so as not to be smacked with the screen door, which swung out toward me. Alexa! she screamed, Gran, Alexa's here! The, Akira launched herself into my arms.

  I caught her and brought her up into a hug. I'm not the type of person who likes to hug, or touch other people for that matter, but there was nothing in me that could resist Akira. Her nearly-black, curly hair itched my face as she wrapped her little arms around my neck in a toddler-tight embrace. She was Olivia's five-year-old granddaughter, I had only met her once, when Jackson, Nelly and I had come to Olivia's the first time. But, that had been all it took. She was easy to fall in love with. Even my monster had a soft spot for this child.

  Akira pulled back a little in my arms and stared into my eyes with her big brown ones. I could tell she was trying to Search me. I did my best to throw up my mental walls and block her out. The last time I'd been here she'd mentally pulled some of the pain from me. I hadn't known what she was doing before it was too late. I had been close to a breaking point. I'd just lost my Mother, and found out that I was natural born killer, though I guess I had always known that last part. I'd watched many things die by my hands over the years; many things, never people.

  But, now, I wasn't at a breaking point. I was broken. No child, or even person, could carry the weight for me now. I set her back down on her feet. Her face scrunched up; tiny eyebrows coming together and little pink lips pursing out. She reached out fast and grabbed hold of me again, attempting once more to Search my soul and remove some turmoil from it.

  I pulled my hand from her grasp, and held her back gently by her shoulders. Let me-she began.

  No, sweetheart, I said, Not this time.

  I knew Kayden was watching this exchange, but he didn't get a chance to comment, because Olivia appeared from down the hall. I took my eyes away from Akira and met those of the old lady now standing behind me. I no longer had to wonder whether or not they would see the change in me. Akira had sensed it when she'd touched me. Olivia could see it in my eyes. I got the feeling she'd known I'd end up back here.

  The old woman gave a slight nod and stepped back out of the doorway. Alexa, she said, Please, come in.

  Kayden and I entered the house. I introduced him to Akira and Olivia. When he bend down and kissed Akira's hand her eyes lit up a little, and her cheeks turned slightly pink. I couldn't help a small smile. Kayden's effect wasn't lost on her it seemed. Olivia just studied him in the same sharp way she had Jackson, Nelly, and I before. She was gray-haired, a little hunchbacked, and wore typical old lady clothing; floral blouse, blue slacks and matching penny loafers. But, there was nothing typical about her eyes. She looked at you in a way that was incredibly and uncomfortably penetrating. If you knew what to look for, it was obvious that she was a very strong Searcher. Kayden knew what to look for, and I knew he wasn't particularly anxious about shaking Olivia's hand and making physical contact with her. He's polite, though, so he did it without hesitation.

  Olivia nodded again, her eyes flicking back and forth between Kayden and me. Finally, she gestured for us to take a seat, and we did. The front door had opened up into a small, tidy living room. From the two windows hung white floral drapes, the furniture was tan-colored and comfortable; one small couch and two reclining armchairs. Plants sat on the inside of the window sills as well, and on the coffee table and end tables. One corner of the room was clearly Akira s. A tiny white baby-grand piano sat there, with a tiny white matching stool. A toy box that was filled past capacity sat near the piano. Various stuffed animals were arranged in a circle, with cups and saucers placed neatly in front of them, as though we'd just interrupted their tea party.

  Kayden and I took a seat on the couch. Just like last time, Akira pulled herself up into my lap, and I repositioned myself automatically to accommodate her. Olivia made her way slowly over to the recliner across from us. She was still watching Kayden and me, so I was glad when she broke the silence.

  I'm not sure why her words surprised me. Let's see that arm, Alexa, she said.

  At least she addressed me by my real name. I was getting sick of being called just Warrior by everyone, but I wasn't anxious to do as she asked. I glanced down at Akira, who was staring at me like I was the most interesting person in the world. I didn't want her to know that I'd killed again. She was too innocent to know such things, and the new mark on my arm would confirm my murderous actions to them, just as the three lilies that appeared after I'd killed the Lamias had confirmed it to them a few weeks ago. Except this new addition wouldn't confirm that I'd killed monsters, it would confirm to them that I'd killed a man. I looked back up at Olivia, who surely knew what I was thinking, but she nodded again in encouragement. I reached around Akira and pushed the sleeve on my right arm up. Sure enough, something had been added to the silver tattoo that was already there.

  I stared down at it. I didn't know what it was, but it was something magnificent to look at. I didn't want to take my eyes from it. I can describe it, but some important quality will be lost with just words. There was something too other about it. I'd never seen anything of the like.

  The bulk of it was positioned in the crook of my elbow, just above the third lily on my arm, but the whole of it went beyond that. It was the same brilliant silver as the rest of the tattoo, and sort of an indefinite circular shape that swirled at the edges. Other shapes spread out from it; around to my elbow, upward toward my bicep, and down to just above the lily on my forearm. Like the sun on my shoulder, and the three flowers on my arm, the indescribable new addition was connected to the silver vine that wrapped around all the way up to my shoulder.

  It was something worth examination. While it was quite glorious in an otherworldly way, there seemed to be something off about it as well. The way the smaller shapes around it seemed to explode from the whole, to shoot outward as if directed at a target, was interesting, but off-putting. Not ugly, but & sinister. Akira voiced my thought at exactly the same time as it formed in my head.

  It's a-she began.

  Olivia shot her a look and shushed her sternly before she could finish the sentence. I finally looked up from my arm and at the three people in the room with me. Apparently, they all found the addition as stare-worthy as I had, because all of their eyes were still locked on it intently. Akira had her small fingers placed over her mouth. Kayden's eyebrows were drawn together in the way they always do when he fixes his gaze on something interesting. Olivia's expression was rather indifferent. But, all three of them stared at my arm, and all three of them were as still as statues.

  I yanked my sleeve back down, and three pairs of eyes settled on my face. I finished Akira's shushed sentence, and my voice came out flat. A soul. It's a soul isn't it?

  Olivia nodded, but Akira answered. Yes, it's a soul, she said. I know it is. I can tell. But, I never seen one depictured like that. She looked over at her grandmother. What kind is it Gran?

  You mean depicted like that, Olivia corrected. And, you've never seen one because you're too young to have met any Warriors. It's a depiction of a human soul.

  Everyone fell silent for several long moments, and I began to feel uncomfortable. So, we all knew that I'd killed a man; a human man. Great. I felt like a plaintiff caught red-handed. A stupid, nervous laugh almost bubbled out of me at that thought. Red-handed. How appropriate. My monster found it amusing too.

  I spoke next, because I was afraid I was losing my mind again. The question that I'd decided earlier would be my first for Olivia came out like an awkward topic transition. What am I supposed to do to help the people at Two Rivers? I asked.

  Olivia grinned, eyes creasing at the corners and smile lines deepening. You've got half of that question right, she replied. It's not what you're supposed to do for the people of Two Rivers. It's what you're supposed to do for your kind.

  I didn't intend for my voice to come out as a growl, but I was sick of playing games with people. I'm the only
one of my kind.

  Olivia waved a wrinkled hand in dismissal. Don't be silly, Alexa. And, if you can, stop thinking like a human. You are the only Warrior, sure, and our kind classifies us into races, just like humans do, but when you think about it, we are all one race, just as they are.

  Uh, okay. Very helpful. I swallowed once. Okay, so what am I supposed to do for my kind, then?

  Olivia's eyes twinkled. What you were born for. To fight. To battle. To liberate. You are supposed to lead our kind in a revolution.

  No fucking way.

  Nelly

  I froze where I was seated on my bed. My heart jumped into overdrive and pounded in my chest. I didn't want to see who was standing on the other side of my dorm room door. But, I couldn't just sit here. So, I got up and crept over to the door. There was no peephole. I leaned my forehead against it and closed my eyes. My mind passed through the barrier with ease. I was more freaked out than I'd realized.

  But, my worry drained right out of me when I touched the soul on the other side of the door. It wasn't a warrior here for the Queen. It was Daniel. And he'd brought me dinner. Shoot. How was I going to explain that I couldn't eat it? Better yet, how was I going to turn it down when I was actually pretty hungry? Darn Alexa; the stuff I do for her.

  I put a smile on my face and pulled open the door. Daniel stood there, cute as ever in jeans and a blue t-shirt. A bag of wonderful-smelling food was clutched in his right hand. He held it up and smiled, his eyes shining with affection. Hungry? he asked.

  Uh, heck yes. This was going to suck beans. I just ate, I lied, But, come in. I always like your company. And, thanks, that was really sweet.

  He stepped inside and went over to set the bag down on the small desk against the wall. I shut the door. When I turned around, he was standing right in front of me. Daniel was always too shy to initiate physical contact when we were alone, but he made it clear when he wanted to. I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head on his chest. Alexa was the only person who ever made me feel totally safe, but in Daniel's arms I at least felt protected. I tried my best to keep out of his head, but I know a good soul when I see one, and Daniel's was as pure as they come. He genuinely liked people, and wanted them to get along. He's a Brocken vampire; a fighter, and it couldn't be more out of tune with his nature. He was a lover at heart, but a fighter genetically. Good mix, if you ask me.

  I pulled back out of his arms. Don't let me stop you from having dinner, I said.

  He shook his head. I'll wait.

  I smiled, selfishly happy that he refused to eat without me. I took a seat on the bed, and he sat down next to me. His light brown eyes studied me for a moment. Do you want to talk about it? he asked.

  Yes, I did. But, what exactly was I supposed to tell him? I trusted Daniel, but I'd never reached deep enough into his head to confirm that trust, and the secrets I was keeping from him were too big not to do that. He didn't even know that I wasn't entirely Searcher. Maybe I could try a different route, though. How long have you lived here, at Two Rivers? I asked.

  He looked a little surprised at the question, but answered anyway. All my life. I was born here, he replied.

  Do you like it here?

  He ran a hand through his brown hair and considered the question. Yeah, I mean, I don't have anything to compare it to, but it's a nice place. I don't really like the fact that just because of my race I have to train and fight all the time, and &.

  And, what? I asked, when it became clear he wasn't going to continue.

  He shook his head and gave one of his sweet smiles. And, sometimes, I don't know, I'm happy but, sometimes I feel &.

  I placed my hand over his. Afraid? I provided.

  His smile had faded, and his brows drew together slightly. He nodded. Yeah, I guess. Only I'm not sure what exactly I'm afraid of. He shrugged, and a weak smile found his lips again. It's probably just because I know I'll be fighting in the arena after I finish school.

  Probably, I agreed. Or probably not.

  Are you afraid of something? he asked, catching me off guard.

  I smirked. I'm afraid of my own shadow, I joked. I looked down at my hands. It's just hard not having Alexa with me.

  He returned my smirk. Can't blame you for that. Hell, I feel safe when she's around. That girl's a beast.

  I shot him a look, and he held up both hands and laughed at my expression. I mean that in a good way. He reached up and gently brushed my hair back. It's understandable that you feel a little scared without her. She's been with you your entire life. She's protected you. I've never seen anything like it, really. It's like she's always waiting for something to attack you so that she can rip it to pieces.

  I laughed, because it was true, but my voice cracked when I spoke. Then, why did she leave me?

  Daniel pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. I don't know, he sighed, But, she must have had a good reason. And, she left Two Rivers, not you.

  Hmm, there was something important about that statement.

  Alexa

  You want me to do what? I said.

  Olivia grinned again, and I decided it was starting to annoy me. How the hell was any of this amusing? It's not what I want you to do, Alexa, she continued, It's what you were made for. But, the choice is yours nonetheless.

  Lead a revolution. Sure, while I was at it I might as well build a spaceship and teach anger management classes. I hadn't even turned eighteen yet. Of course, I voiced my thoughts. Lead a revolution? I'm not even a legal adult yet, I replied. I didn't add that I was also currently afraid that I was losing my damn mind.

  Olivia waved a hand again in dismissal. Most of those who fight for their people are barely adults. And, don't you have a birthday coming up in a few days anyway?

  I scowled. How deeply had this woman Searched me? I had forgotten about my stupid eighteenth birthday, but she knew about it. I felt anger begin to slowly rise in me. I felt like a pawn for some reason; like I was just a piece in some game that was being pushed here and there by a hand that made all my decisions for me. Olivia said I had a choice, but that seemed like bullshit to me. I was starting to believe that I'd never had a choice in any of this.

  You'd think that it would stop surprising me that Kayden knew what I was feeling, but it always did. He was about a foot away from me on the couch, and he reached his hand across and took hold of my own. For a split second I felt like yanking my hand away. I wanted to be angry right now. I had a goddamn right to be. But, his touch did what it was supposed to, and I felt the anger leak out of me. It left me feeling a little exhausted, though.

  Okay, fine, lead a revolution. Maybe this was supposed to be some kind of messed up redemption for my past transgressions. It shouldn't be that much of a shock anyway. I'd already vowed to help Soraya and others like her, right? And, to do that I knew I'd have to kill the King. I guess it just hadn't really occurred to me that in order to do that, I'd literally have to get through an entire army. The King's army. Just thinking of his warriors made the hair on the back of my neck stand up; they were freakishly huge and intimidating. I guess what Olivia said made sense, then. I would need an army of my own to even stand a chance at getting to the King. And, since my army would have to be composed of those who were being suppressed by the King, I guess revolution was exactly the right word for it.

  Fine, I said, How do I go about leading this revolution ?

  Don't worry about that, Olivia replied, Things will happen on their own. I believe you have a separate mission that takes precedence for you at the moment.

  Good, no wasted words necessary, then. Where is Dangeon? I asked.

  Ah, one question I don't have the answer to. She studied her hands for a moment, removing her sharp eyes from me for the first time in what seemed like forever. But, I know of someone who might be able to answer that for you.

  Gran, I have to use the potty! Akira said, hopping off my lap and squeezing her legs together in a funny and adorable way.

  Olivia smiled at the
girl. Well, by all means, go, child. You're a big girl. You don't have to announce it every time.

  Akira toddled off down the hall, I watched her until she disappeared into the bathroom, then I turned back to her grandmother. Why didn't you just tell me all of this the first time I came here? Why even make me go to Two Rivers?

  She raised one gray eyebrow. You learned a lot that night as it was. You're whole world had just been flipped over. Also, you had to see it for yourself. By the way you just took the idea of a revolution, I would wager that you were resolved to help your people before you even walked through my door.

  I scowled again, because I couldn't help it. But, I knew she was right. She knew it too. I opened my mouth to say something else, but a loud crash! cut the thought short. It sounded like a window being smashed in, and it was so sudden and unexpected that both Kayden and I hopped out of our seats on the couch as if the cushions had turned red hot.

  Olivia stumbled out of her own chair and fell promptly to the carpet. Kayden rushed over to help her, and unintelligible, rapid words came tumbling out of her mouth. Kayden was telling her to slow down and gently pulling her to her feet. I was already racing down the hall to the bathroom. I didn't need clarification. Akira hadn't returned from the potty .

  My heart stopped cold in my chest when I reached the entry to the small yellow and white bathroom, and I skidded to a stop. The window in this room had indeed been smashed in, and shards of glass lay strewn across the white tile floor. I'm not sure, but I think a horrified whisper ripped up my throat. Akira. I raced over to the window, grabbed the sharp sill, pointed glass digging deep into my palms, and leaned out.

  The heavy rain bombarded my face, but that's not why chills ran through me. Panic, hot and untamed seized me. My tongue dried up in my mouth, and my chest began to ache. The Lamia that had promised me death stood twenty feet away in the back yard of Olivia's house, Akira's tiny body slung over her shoulder. The little girl cried out, and my heart broke into as many pieces as the bathroom window when I realized she was screaming my name.