Half Black Soul

by H. D. Gordon

  And, that underlying, unexplained fear that seemed to grip all of them without reason. It was so thick that I felt like I could taste it in my throat.

  Numbers, the teacher said, breaking into my paralyzed state. Concentrate on the numbers.

  Sure, concentrate on the numbers when the girl two seats down from me was worried that she may be pregnant. Concentrate on numbers when the boy across the room had disgustingly vivid memories of times when he'd acted on his fetish for sexual animal encounters. The boy next to him was obsessed with our teacher, a pretty young redhead with large breasts, and had the most disturbing fantasies about what he would do to her if she were ever willing. The girl three seats from him had contemplated suicide on many occasions, and attempted it once when she had been only eight years old. The small, skinny boy next to her was currently receiving beatings from a wolf-born student named Bull, who stole his school allowance and ripped up his text books. The girl next to him had been emotionally abused by her father from a very young age, and her soul was a pool of damage. And, on and on and on they went.

  Well, if there was ever a time to practice , now was it. Being able to keep out of the souls was just as important as being able to penetrate them. So, before I started screaming my head off and pointing fingers, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Slowly, reluctantly, the muscle that is my mind began to release its hold, and retract back into the safety of my own troubled being.

  I ran my sleeve over my forehead, but the damage from the information I'd gained was done. I would never be able to look at some of my classmates the same again. But, this had happened to me before, and I was okay with dealing with it by now. Numbers, now I could try and concentrate on numbers.

  It didn't take any concentration at all. The pretty girl with the glasses and blond streaks in her short, black hair, sitting at a diagonal to my left, had the same number as me. I pushed in a little further then, seeing if I could pull out one other thing without getting a bunch of unwanted mess. I succeeded. Her name was Bethany.

  Another ten minutes went by before the teacher spoke again. Has anyone been able to find their match? she asked.

  Uh, yeah, but I knew for a fact that none of the other students had. Three of their hands rose into the air nonetheless.

  The boy with the animal fetish pointed at the boy three seats to my right. 46? he asked. The other boy shook his head. The girl next to him said, I have 46.

  Ms. Baker clasped her hands together, pleased with this outcome. Very good, she said. You were very close.

  More students joined in, and every one of them was two or three seats off from their matching number. When no one else volunteered, Ms. Baker began to go around room. My body grew tense once more. Wrong guess after wrong guess grew closer and closer to me with every moment.

  Nelliana, Ms. Baker said. Do you want to give it a shot?

  I was so nervous that my stupid mouth spat out the first thing that came to mind. Bethany, I said, and then clenched my teeth together so as not to cringe visibly.

  Crap. I was an idiot. Why didn't I just point at the girl next to Bethany? Too late now. I cleared my throat. I think Bethany has my number, I said quietly. 32?

  All the eyes in the room fell on the Bethany, who nodded her head once. I bit down on my tongue this time to stop the cringe.

  Everyone was quiet for several long seconds. Then, the teacher clapped. Well done, Nelliana. Well done, she said, beaming at me for proving her exercise was working.

  I smiled back at her, and noticed that the other students were looking at me like I was the new teacher's pet. My smile fell a little, and I mumbled, Thanks.

  After that nightmare ended, the next thing Ms. Baker had us do was pair up with our matching number holder. We all broke off into our assigned pairs and waited for further instructions. I was more than relieved to have the attention on someone other than me.

  Alright, you can put your walls back in place, Ms. Baker told us. I knew this was an unnecessary instruction; everyone already had their walls back up. Now, face your partner and take hold of each other's hands.

  I turned to Bethany, who was understandably a little hesitant to touch me after my stupid display a few moments ago. Don't worry, I said. It was just luck. I guessed between you and the people who were seated next to you.

  She didn't seem fooled, but reached out and took my hands nonetheless. I studied her face while we waited for further instructions. Despite her interesting choice for a hair style, she was pretty; with light brown eyes, high cheekbones, and a sweet smile. For whatever reason, my observation of her appearance struck me as important somehow. But, now my head was pounding because of the exertion and the lack of food. I decided to think about it later.

  Ms. Baker cut into my thoughts. Now I want you each to think of your own number. Any number you wish, and put your walls up as strong as you can manage. Then, while trying to block your partner out, try to pull the number out of his or her head as well.

  Okay, this wouldn't be so bad, but I should definitely play it safe. In front of me, Bethany raised her eyebrows. Ready? she asked.

  Sure.

  I stared into her eyes and took deep breaths. I was going to play this safe, but that didn't mean that I couldn't begin my practicing. Bethany was a Searcher, so it would be good to attempt to pull the number she was thinking of out of her head without her feeling it. Then, I could just lie and say I couldn't do it.

  It was pretty easy, as this is one of the things I've actually worked on developing in the past. Being able to Search people without alerting them has always come in handy. So, only a few seconds had gone by before I snuck around her walls, rather than charging through them, and stole the number from her head. She was a clever girl; the number she was thinking of was three and a half.

  I could feel her poking at my walls as well, and while she wasn't a weak Searcher, her strength was nowhere near that of the Queen s. In comparison, the Queen's attack had been like getting hit by a professional football player, whereas Bethany's felt more like a shove from a disgruntled toddler.

  Got it yet? she asked me.

  I shook my head. Nope. I can't get past your walls.

  A look crossed Bethany's face that gave me the impression that she didn't quite believe me. I mended my answer. Is it three? I asked.

  Very close, she replied. I can't get yours either. It's like your walls are made of steel or something.

  Her face scrunched up, and I didn't have to wonder what she was thinking. Heck, I didn't really ever have to wonder what anyone was thinking, but Bethany was the type of girl whose thoughts seemed to always be written on her face. She was trying to remember if she had ever felt walls that were so unyielding. I decided it would be best to just let her in enough so that she could get my number, and then, of course, escort her back out.

  Huh, she said, eyebrows drawing together. Seven? she asked. I smiled and nodded. Her next words made my heart leap into my throat. She leaned forward. You let me in, she whispered, and her tone allowed for no denial.

  I swallowed hard. Then, I nodded. I just came to Two Rivers about a month ago. I've lived in the unprotected world of the humans for my entire life. Out there, Searchers don't follow the rules we follow here & so I've built up some pretty effective walls, I whispered.

  No shit, she mumbled. She leaned in a little more, and I had to swallow again so that I wouldn't pull back. Do you think you could help me with mine? she asked. I mean, if you wanted to practice together, I could use the help.

  I don't like telling people no. I never have. It makes me uncomfortable, unlike Alexa, who has no trouble denying someone something if she wants to. But, there was no way I could agree to something like this if I didn't know for sure that she wasn't suspicious of me or had some sort of hidden agenda. Our hands were still touching, so I decided to go ahead and Search her before I answered. It would only take a second.

  I learned many things about Bethany as I stole through her mind like a masked bandit at midnight. W
ell, actually, I learned everything about her in the two seconds it took me to Search her soul. Only a couple things were of importance, however.

  First, she wasn't so much suspicious of me as she was impressed. Second, she was related to the Queen.

  Nelly

  I sat back in my seat and ran my tongue over my dry lips. I have a lot of work I have to catch up on in my other classes, I told Bethany.

  Her face fell a little. I knew from the Search that she really was only interested in practicing her abilities, and that the Queen and her weren't very close. Bethany was the Queen's niece, and while she recognized her as such, the Queen didn't pay too much attention to Bethany. This was something that bothered her. She looked up to her aunt and wanted to become a stronger Searcher to impress her. I felt horrible about my refusal.

  Okay, well, maybe after you catch up with your work then? Bethany asked.

  I smiled. This was a good solution. It made for an indefinite time frame. Sure, I said. That would be cool.

  Her face lit up and my heart sank. It seemed like there was always something in my life that I had to hide or lie about. Up until a month ago, it had been Alexa that I had to keep secrets from, and yes, lie to. I'd let my Mother convince me that it was the right thing to do, because I knew that she only wanted what was best for us. The knowledge of my nature couldn't have been avoided because I require blood to stay alive, but while Alexa can drink it, it is not a necessity for her, so we'd kept her in the dark. Now, I seriously questioned that decision to keep things from her. In fact, I felt that we'd been just plain wrong to do so. And, I was beginning to believe that lies of that magnitude always backfired. I was lucky that Alexa was so loyal that she just forgave me for my deceit, but that didn't change the fact that she'd been thrust into a world she was nowhere near prepared for. And, she'd left. To be fair, I'd been unprepared for this world as well, but instead of lying to Alexa, now, it seemed like I was lying to everyone all the time, and agreeing to things that I had no intention to do. All because it was so necessary. The only question was when all of this lying would backfire.

  Ms. Baker came around the room to check on our progress. How is it going, ladies? she asked us.

  Good, Bethany said. She jerked her head toward me. She's got some incredible walls in place.

  I cursed in my head, but smiled modestly up at Ms. Baker, who was studying me in a way that made me shift a little in my seat. Not really, I said.

  By the grace of God, the bell signifying the end of the class sounded, saving me from further torture. I didn't miss the fact that Ms. Baker continued studying me for a bit, but students were already zipping their backpacks and arranging the desks back into their original places. I pretended I didn't notice her assessment, and she returned to the front of the room, telling everyone not to forget to read chapter six for next class.

  I collected my belongings and scooted out of the room as quickly as I could without shoving people out of the way. Bethany waved goodbye to me in the hallway. Let me know when you have time, she said.

  I told her I would and headed to my next class. Unfortunately, I spent a good portion of it thinking about Bethany. She had her issues, just like everyone else, but overall, she was a decent person. I wished I could make good on my promise to help her with her Searching, but I had enough on my plate as it was. Still, I couldn't get the excited look on her pretty face after I'd told her I'd help out of my head, which was throbbing like a swollen thumb at the moment. I was freaking starving.

  In fact, I couldn't help but stare at the pulsing necks of all those around me. I can eat regular food, but it is mostly for the taste rather than the nutrients. Blood is what I needed to survive, but I couldn't trust the blood they served here at Two Rivers. So, it was understandable that while I sat in my last class of the day, I was all but daydreaming about sinking my fangs into the students who sat around me. Every one of them was appealing enough in appearance that taking their blood would be enjoyable.

  And, that's when it hit me. Yesterday I had been trying so hard to remember everything Alexa had done and told me before she left, but oddly, much of it had been out of the reach of recall. Today, although my headache grew worse and worse with every passing hour, information seemed to be coming back to me. I glanced around at the students in the class with me. All of them were in pretty good physical shape and good-looking in different ways. Alexa had mentioned this to me. Everyone I'd met here was relatively young and attractive. I'd told Alexa that it was just her nerves making her paranoid. Right now, that excuse seemed flimsy and, well, stupid. She'd been right about the food. A society of only beautiful people was & unnatural. It amazed me that I couldn't see that before.

  I considered trying to Search my classmates again, but decided against it. I'd had enough for the day. I would research the whereabouts of the undesirable people later, if any of them existed. After that was decided, I just sat through class rubbing my temples and trying my best not to think about anything at all. What seemed like a lifetime later, the last bell of the day rang.

  My feet were dragging a little, and I wanted nothing more than to go throw myself in bed and sleep the rest of the day away. But, I had some very important plans tonight, and one of them I was going to take care of right now.

  Daniel usually meets up with me outside of the Searcher school building at the end of the day, so I took a different route and used the exit on the opposite side of the building. I felt bad about this, because I knew that even though I'd told him that I had to work on an assignment, he would still be waiting out there to walk me to my destination. I haven't known Daniel long enough to feel like I loved him, but I liked him a lot, and purposely avoiding him seemed to me like a very crappy thing to do. But, I had a meeting to attend tonight, and I wasn't going back to my dorm room or the library before that. I was going into the woods, and for whatever reason, I didn't think that was someplace I should let anyone see me go. Especially because of what I planned to do there.

  Alexa

  The address that Olivia had given me to find the man who might be able to tell me how to get to Dangeon had us heading back in the same direction we'd come. I'd called Olivia earlier to ask her how she and Akira were doing, and she assured me that they were just fine. Since we'd left so late, Kayden and I wouldn't reach our destination until after dark. Not that it made any difference; the day was almost as dark as it had been yesterday.

  Kayden and I sat in comfortable silence for most of the time. I knew there were some things we should talk about, like say, the kiss we'd shared, or the man I'd killed, or my breakdown in the bathroom, but none of these were appealing subjects, and if I was being honest, I didn't really want to talk about them at all. Kayden didn't bring them up, so neither did I.

  But, while we were just sitting here, watching the trees and grass and land speed past the windows, there were plenty of other subjects I could use some information on. If I was going to fight and possibly die for the people of this new world I'd found myself in, I may as well know what exactly I was fighting for.

  I picked a question that had been bothering me for a while to ask first. I looked over at Kayden, who was driving again today. How did I get to be a Sun Warrior? I asked.

  He took his eyes from the road for a moment and raised an eyebrow at me. What do you mean?

  I thought about it for a minute. I mean, Nelly is a Searcher, our Mother, who I guess is actually my aunt, is a Brocken vampire, so I would assume that my biological mother was a Brocken as well, so & how did I get to be a Sun Warrior?

  Kayden's eyebrows drew together and he stared back out at the road. The look on his face seemed to me to be uncomfortable. He cleared his throat. It's sort of like a double a recessive trait, he began. Both of your parents, no matter what race they were, must have carried the recessive trait, and the odds that you would be a Warrior would have been one in four.

  Kayden looked back over at me, and continued when it was obvious that he was losing me. It's very rare for a Warrio
r to be born this way. Two Warrior parents are guaranteed to produce a Warrior offspring. One Warrior parent and a parent of a different race will only produce a Warrior child if the other parent carries the trait as well, and even then there is only a fifty/fifty chance of having a Warrior offspring. When all the Warriors died out about a hundred years ago, and no more were seen or heard of, everyone assumed that the recessive trait necessary to produce a Warrior had died out. He smiled over at me, and my cheeks flooded with heat. That is, until you came along, he continued. You're very special, Alexa.

  I stared down at my hands. I would say I was very unlucky. So, how is Nelly a Searcher, then?

  Kayden looked over at me once more, eyebrow cocked. Is Nelly just a Searcher? he asked.

  I folded my arms over my chest. This was not something I wanted to talk about, but really, if I couldn't trust Kayden now, I was already more than screwed. I shook my head. No, but how did you know that? My heart skipped a beat. If Kayden knew that Nelly was different, who else knew?

  Kayden noticed my distress. Relax, he told me. It was only a guess. The way you watch her, and protect her, it just seemed to me that there was something more going on there. But, to answer your question, if she is a Searcher &.

  What? I asked.

  He bit down on his lower lip. She's probably not related to you by blood at all.

  I took a moment to digest that. I decided instantly that it didn't matter. I'd kind of figured that anyway. Nelly was my sister. Blood couldn't change that or make it any less true for me. I'd love her even if she'd turned out to be a demon. I'd love her no matter what. The question was, where the hell did she come from?

  I moved on, and I could tell that Kayden was relieved with the way I'd taken this news. So, what about the other races? I know that Soraya is half Brocken and half Searcher, so does that happen when the two races mix?