Naughty Secrets

by Joan Elizabeth Lloyd

  A twenty-eight-year-old woman wrote:

  My favorite position is me on top so my back is toward him and I am looking at his feet. That way I can play with his balls and we can both play a little in the anal area—plus it’s a great view for me.

  A thirty-year-old woman wrote:

  I have three. I lie on my back with my head hanging a little off the side of the bed. The guy stands or kneels in front of me so that I can perform oral sex. This leaves my body completely open for him to watch, touch, or sixty-nine.

  The next one is also for oral sex. We lie on our sides in a sixty-nine position and I perform oral sex, and at the same time, masturbate so that he can watch. It is a very up-close view.

  The third position works well for orgasm for me. After the guy ejaculates in the missionary position, he stays inside me and does not move. I slowly move my hips up, down, and around until I have an orgasm. It’s important that he stay totally still.

  A thirty-one-year-old woman wrote:

  Doggy-style. And it’s even better if my hands are tied to the headboard.

  A thirty-eight-year-old woman wrote:

  My favorite position is to lie on my back, my shoulders flat on the bed. Then I twist at the waist so my knees are together on the left side of me, and my partner enters me kind of sideways. It hits a spot inside me unlike any other. It’s not the most natural position, and it’s not the easiest to maintain, but it sure does work!

  A forty-one-year-old woman wrote:

  We both like making love on our sides facing each other with legs intertwined. It is comfortable and easy.

  A forty-two-year-old woman wrote:

  I like the spoon position because the penetration is great and I love the closeness.

  A forty-three-year-old woman wrote:

  I like it with him on top and me on bottom so he can suck and bite my nipples.

  A forty-five-year-old woman wrote:

  Years ago, one of my lovers liked me to lie on my back, legs wide apart, with his hands holding my ankles out wide to the side. I liked it because of the deep penetration, and because I could reach down and feel him pumping in and out of me. I could also diddle my clit to orgasm. I must admit, however, the older I get, the less I like this position. I’m not that flexible anymore.

  A twenty-seven-year-old woman wrote:

  If I’m tired, I like the spoon position with him behind me. During a visit to my ob-gyn I was told it would be easier for me to conceive that way and it has become a favorite because of how easily he can touch me. The drawback is I can’t see or touch him.

  A fifty-eight-year-old woman wrote:

  Hmmm, how do I count the ways? I think it isn’t the position, but the partner, but if I had to choose, I’d say having him seated and me on top, facing him, is the best. It lets me control the rhythm, speed, depth, while his mouth is in close proximity to my breasts, and his strong hands are clutching my ass. And, of course, it lets him control our movements if the spirit moves him. I like it because we have eye contact, he’s comfortable, and I can reach climax after climax by the deep penetration and letting my clit rub against his body.

  He likes it when he can take me from behind, at an angle that doesn’t hurt his back. He can pump deep inside me and drive me wild. He also likes it when he positions me with my ass on the edge of his bed so he can enter me while he’s standing, holding my legs high and spread. That way he can control our movements. Sometimes he’ll raise my ass off the bed and hook my legs over his shoulders so he can suck me, which drives me crazy.

  Like all things, variety is the spice of life, so I like to try new positions. I love the ones I know bring him pleasure, just as he seems to love the ones that bring me pleasure.

  A thirty-two-year-old man wrote:

  I like having my wife on top so I can suck on her sexy, hard nipples and watch her face as she reaches orgasm. I also like to have her kneel facedown on the side of the bed so I can stand and enter her from behind. I get excited as I watch my cock sliding in and out as her pussy lips cling to me. I sometimes slide a lubed finger into her ass and she goes absolutely wild.

  A thirty-six-year-old man wrote:

  Doggy-style is the best for me, with my left hand around my cock so I can stroke her clit and my right hand on her back with my thumb rubbing her rectum. She is never more vocal!

  A forty-year-old man wrote:

  We both like the missionary position with my wife’s head and shoulders jacked up with pillows so that she can see the workings of our respective parts.

  A forty-two-year-old man wrote:

  I guess my personal favorite is lying on my side with her on her back, with one leg over me and her other leg between mine. It gives good access to her clitty and allows me to take my time, while not being tiring at all.

  A forty-two-year-old man wrote:

  My wife likes to come again afterward by lying on her side, facing me, squeezing her legs together and rubbing her clit while I hold her ass cheeks as firmly as I can. Sometimes she asks me to finger her ass.

  A sixty-eight-year-old man wrote:

  There are many, but I love to come kneeling behind a woman who has already come, and is wide open because of it. I love to hold her ass cheeks and pull her back on my cock as I climax. The failing here is that I can’t see her eyes as she comes.

  A twenty-five-year-old woman wrote:

  I like it when I’m lying on my stomach, legs slightly apart at first, and he enters me from behind. Once his cock is inside me I close my legs and hold them tightly together. When he thrusts it’s one of the best sensations.

  A fifty-five-year-old man wrote:

  Due to my wife’s back problems, this is our favorite. She lies on her back and I lie on my right side, perpendicular to her. She raises her left leg, and I enter her under that leg. Great for clitoral tension.

  A sixty-two-year-old man wrote:

  For pure self-indulgence, I like my partner to rub me down, then work on my penis and balls, gently and slowly taking me up and down the emotional scale until I am begging for her mouth. When she takes me in and strokes my anus (or better, puts her finger in) I am gone!

  She likes it when I gently massage her while she’s lying on her tummy, then work into her pussy area, massaging her outer lips between thumb and finger, rubbing her clit with little flicks. Then she turns over for me to suck her nipples while massaging her pussy and slowly inserting my finger into her anus. Finally, over and up for a dog-style screw, sometimes with a finger in her anus if she wants it.

  A fifty-six-year-old man summed it all up. He wrote:

  Do I have a favorite position? Sure. The one I am in! I have not found that one position is better than another. They are all great!

  WHAT IS THE MOST UNUSUAL PLACE YOU’VE EVER MADE LOVE?

  Some of the best stories I got were in answer to this question. In several cases I wanted to write back and ask for more details. I would have loved the full story to “On the ice at the hockey rink,” or “In a horse stall,” or “On top of the dishwasher on Christmas Day,” or “On the top of my kids’ bunk beds,” but alas, I didn’t want to embarrass anyone. And how did the twenty-eight-year-old woman and her boyfriend make out on the hood of a police car in a field in a public park? Hmmm.

  Are all these stories true? I don’t know, but they’re so delicious that I’m not going to worry about it. Many tell similar tales, but the differences are in the people involved and their reactions.

  In my case, the most unusual place I ever made love involved a long-ago boyfriend who was hospitalized for hepatitis, which, by the way, he shared with me. Anyway, we were new to the relationship so we were both hungry most of the time. After three long days of visiting him we finally got so hot that we did it in the room’s small bathroom with me leaning against the sink and him behind, both of us watching in the mirror. I think wondering whether some nurse might walk in on us added to the excitement. Oh yes, he was in a private room.

  I’ve also made love in a
hot tub, or tried to. My guy at the time found the hot water really exciting mentally, but debilitating physically. Let’s just say the spirit was willing but the flesh was flaccid.

  Oh, and have you ever noticed that your dining room table is just the right height? Mine is.

  Let’s see what those who responded to the survey wrote.

  A thirty-two-year-old woman wrote:

  We were with friends camping and everyone went for a midnight swim. When the camp owner heard all the noise she made everyone else leave, but my wife and I had swum off to the rocks near the shore so she didn’t see us. When the lady went back inside, we removed our suits, swam back out to the middle of the lake, and made love on the swim float, under the stars, in plain view of the entire campsite.

  A fifty-four-year-old man had more success in a hot tub than I did. He wrote:

  My wife and I made love in a hot tub at a resort up north. We were both naked and it was more foreplay than we usually indulged in. We were playing, trying to get off on the water jet. My wife actually had an orgasm, then used her hands to get me off too.

  A nineteen-year-old woman wrote:

  This guy I was dating and I did it on a weight bench in his parents’ shed. We were really horny and that was the only place that we could find. The bench was very narrow, but we managed.

  A forty-eight-year-old man wrote:

  My wife had dragged me to Nordstrom’s to shop and while she was looking at lingerie, I was looking at her. Let me just say that we found a back staircase and, well… we didn’t actually have intercourse, but we both climaxed from some really heavy petting.

  A twenty-two-year-old man wrote:

  A girl I dated many years ago and I actually did it on a bench in a nearby park. It was my first outdoor experience with anyone, so I was quite scared. She got totally naked but I just got my cock out because I was worried about being seen. She was making really loud noses, and I kept telling her to be quieter or we’d get caught. Maybe she got off on the danger, and maybe she just wanted to embarrass me, but she wouldn’t quit the noise.

  When she came, she screamed, “YES!!!!! FUCK ME!!!” really loud. I was petrified.

  A thirty-three-year-old woman wrote:

  My then-boyfriend and I were taking a walk near his parents’ house, which is very out of the way. We held hands and started talking about sex. I asked him about his fantasies and he said that he’d really enjoy taking me while I leaned against a tree. The idea really turned me on so I told him I was game. He looked up, surprised, since I was, at that time, very prudish about sex.

  So… I found a suitable tree and was already getting wet just thinking about it. I had snaps on my pant legs so I just pulled them open. The cold air struck my hot parts but it was not unpleasant… it even felt pretty nice. He started to pet me but I grabbed him and made him understand that I wanted to be penetrated… which he did. I completely lost it! The environment, the fact that we were pretty much dressed and that we could get caught got me to a very intense climax.

  A sixty-year-old man wrote:

  I’ve done it in several unusual places, but I guess the oddest was on a beach under a blanket, with a lot of people lying around us. It was really chilly and windy and I had cuddled behind my wife, completely covered by the blanket. People could not see me; they just saw her, lying on her side, covered with a blanket from shoulders to toes, reading a book. It all looked perfectly innocent, except that her entire body, including her large breasts, was moving with my fucking rhythm. Now and then she looked up, glanced around, and smiled at people near us.

  Later she told me that one man sitting there with his wife and three children seemed to know what was going on and kept looking at her, watching her bobbing breasts and body. When he could hardly stand up anymore because of the erection in his swimming trunks, he left the kiddies and lured his wife into their bungalow. A great afternoon for all of us.

  A fifty-nine-year-old man wrote:

  It’s not the unusual things I’ve done that stick out in my mind, but the unusual places I’ve done them. My wife and I really enjoy great sex and we find we’re horny most of the time. Therefore…

  1. On an island in the San Juans one sunny day on a gentle, wild-strawberry–covered hillside. Bright blue sky, puffy white clouds, the sound of a nearby horse, and all afternoon to make love.

  2. Next to the railroad tracks in northern California on our way to Reno. Between I-5 and Susanville, we pulled off next to a major manzanita stand, grabbed the blanket, and walked a short way into the pines. The sun was warm but the air was cool, and there were patches of snow about. We found a place in the sun that was out of the wind but only twenty feet from the railroad tracks. We had a quickie and, just as we were finishing, along came a passenger train. Any of the people on the train who happened to glance our way knew what was going on.

  3. In the backyard on a warm summer night. We put the pad from our lounge chair on the grass and just got started. Both of our cats came to join us. We started laughing so hard we had to go inside to finish our fun.

  4. We’ve also done it quite a few times in the car. Once we made love in the backseat of our Camaro and once we did it just to break in the new Olds. I remember one particular afternoon alongside I-15 in Montana. The sun was bright but the air outside was freezing. We left the engine on, turned up the heater, and fogged up the windows something fierce. Ain’t it great!

  A forty-seven-year-old man wrote:

  I once got a blow job in a Victoria’s Secret dressing room. There was only one salesclerk in a smaller store along the boardwalk in Atlantic City. We were on the second floor and a couple of customers were keeping the salesgirl busy downstairs. My wife was in the dressing room trying on some stuff and, when I realized we were alone, I took advantage and slipped into the dressing stall. My wife blew me and it was unbelievable. As I left the dressing room the girls were coming up the stairs and they saw me leave it. I think they knew but they just smiled.

  Another time my wife and I made love in our hotel room in New York with the shades open. It was sort of an impromptu act one night when we returned from the theater. We had been going at it for more than an hour, and she had come several times, but I hadn’t. She was lying there with me on top of her, our heads toward the window. I happened to look out and was shocked to see a couple in the office tower next door looking at us.

  After overcoming my shock (which must not have been much since my cock grew still harder) I pulled out and straddled my wife. I put my cock in her face and she began sucking. I have to tell you I had to hold back. I wanted to come right away but I wanted to give a good show, too!

  Anyway, I fucked my wife’s face for a while, glancing from time to time at the couple in the other building, seeing them but not acknowledging them. My wife grabbed my ass and pulled me into her mouth, building me up for the big event, and finally I came, first in her mouth, then pulling out and spattering her face. It was awesome! She pulled my dick back into her mouth and she cleaned it off, keeping me hard. I slid back inside her pussy to give her what she called later a delicious orgasm. When I finally looked up again, the blinds were drawn in the office window. I wonder what they were doing! (Grinning)

  A thirty-three-year-old woman wrote:

  One day we made it in the backyard in the rain. It was with my ex-fiancé, but what made it so fantastic is that he performed oral sex on me, almost bringing me to orgasm that way before we actually fucked. There we were, outside in the rain for all to see. Nobody did… that I know of, but it was the most romantic sexual event of my life.

  A forty-seven-year-old woman wrote:

  I remember the night my boyfriend and I made love up against the wall inside a machine shop where he worked. All the smells of grease and coveralls, ohhhhhh, it was heavenly. It might seem strange to you but all those cold, shiny machines and the smell of grease really turned me on.

  A thirty-six-year-old woman wrote:

  Unusual? Well, the only time I made love in publ
ic was at my parents’ house many years ago during a family Thanksgiving gathering. Hubby and I were on the floor in the family room under an old bulky sleeping bag watching TV and talking. The sex was okay and my husband got off. I was not comfortable about it, though, thinking, Oh my, my father is looking. He wasn’t but he could have been.

  A thirty-one-year-old man wrote:

  We once made love in a small boat in the middle of the Lake of the Ozarks. It was close to sunset and my wife and I were feeling a bit daring, so we stopped and made love while the sun went down.

  A twenty-two-year-old woman wrote:

  I’ve made love in lots of unusual places. I have had sex on a pool table that wasn’t mine, on the beach, in a car in a wheat field, on the dryer, and on the bathroom counter.