Always Angel (The List #4)

by N. K. Love

  “Nice touch.” I smirk. “Thank you.”

  The thorough, physical examinations of each other, seems to have made us completely bypass the initial greetings.

  I step back further, allowing him to finally come in. Before doing so, he dips and grabs a bottle of champagne from the floor, which was just out of sight.

  “House warming gift.”

  “Thank you.”

  Jax keeps hold of the bottle as I lock the door behind him, but he turns back to face me and that strong pull between us is taking hold of me again.

  “It’s good to see you.” He reaches out his hand to mine, but I avoid it again and run my palm over my head. His eyes show me he is wounded. Dropping his hand to his side, he doesn’t acknowledge it. “So, are you going to give me a guided tour then?”

  “Well, that shouldn’t take long. You can see fifty percent of it right behind you.”

  I walk past him and go through to the kitchen area. Putting the ice-cream in the freezer, I leave the cooler box on the side. Jax follows and so does his scent. God, I’ve missed that smell. His proximity in this closed space is stifling. I leave the spoons on the side and take two flutes out of the cupboard, whilst Jax sets to work opening the bottle.

  “It’s a lovely place, Beth. You’ve chosen well.”

  “Why are you here, Jax?” I blurt out. “I mean, I’m glad you are, but should I be worried? You haven’t come to tell me there’s more stuff?”

  “No. I wanted to surprise you… You don’t mind then, that I’m here, unannounced?”

  “Surprisingly, no, I don’t. Don’t think I don’t know why you didn’t tell me either. I’m not stupid.” Jax pops the cork with expert precision and starts pouring with a smirk dancing across his face. “Firstly, you didn’t want to give me the chance to object.”

  “True.”

  “And secondly, you wanted me to feel how I react to you.” Putting the bottle back down, he slides my glass across to me and I wonder if it’s because he doesn’t want me to avoid touching him again. “Didn’t you?”

  “That thought did cross my mind, yes. I figured if you knew I was coming, you’d plan your perfect little ass off preparing for every eventuality. Whereas now, it’s just you, me, and our instincts.”

  His husky, deep voice and the lust in his eyes catches me off guard, causing me to magnetically take a step towards him. I reach across to my glass and force myself to step back again.

  “Have you been somewhere special?”

  I gesture to his attire, and Jax puts his glass down. He casually unbuttons his suit jacket, leaning back against the kitchen counter with his hands in his trouser pockets.

  What. The. Actual. Fuck.

  That look. Jesus, I’m a deer caught in the headlights, and he knows it.

  “I thought the moment deserved a suit.”

  “Well, I like it.” I take a sip to stop me from drooling at the way the shirt clings to those goddam abs of his. “A lot.”

  Who woke Miss Alter Ego up?

  Biting my lip, I hide behind my flute, savouring the taste, as the bubbles tickle down my throat. Jax walks around to the living area, blessing me with the view of him from behind. I swear he knows exactly what he’s doing to me. I want to smooth my hands over his back, down across his bottom, then around to the front…

  Shit! Miss Alter Ego can’t believe her luck; rubbing her hands together, whilst her clothes magically disintegrate! I crudely down my drink and refill the glass. Classy!

  Snatching up both of our glasses, I go to join him. Jax is strolling around the place with his hands still in his pockets. I place his glass on a coaster on the table and slip my smutty book behind a cushion.

  “B, when you said ‘more stuff’… There are a couple of things I want to let you know.”

  “Oh, great. I knew it. I thought this was going a little too well. Shall I sit down? Do I need to sit down, Jax?”

  I cautiously perch on the sofa’s armrest, trying to curb my flustering.

  “Just before you left on Monday, I told you that I still had things to tell you. But, you left anyway. I haven’t intentionally held anything back. But, I thought the longer it is until I see you, the more deceitful it seems.”

  “Okay… It’s okay. I understand. You did say that and I’m sorry I left before you’d finished. I just couldn’t handle anything else at that point. I wanted to, I did. Anyway, I’m not gonna lie, the prospect of more ‘stuff’ scares the shit out of me.”

  Jax maintains his distance, standing across the other side of the room. He looks at the wooden table in front of me, smiling at the centrally placed frame of the two of us on display.

  When he looks at me, his smile fades.

  “The other thing I wanted you to know is about the Unit.” I hug myself a little tighter, not knowing what to expect. “Before Carmel’s father passed away, he called for me to visit him several times. He wanted to entrust me with the position of Boss. After a lot of persuasion, I agreed.” My eyes noticeably widen at the news. But, I refrain from interrupting. “There was only me and a few of his best men, including Jack, who knew who he was—and Carmel, obviously. When I took over, I did so anonymously. The Boss officially announced that he’d appointed his successor in the events of his death. To this day, nobody has ever found out that it was me. Nobody.” He nods his head towards me. “Until now.”

  Standing up, I take his drink over to where he is standing. He eyes me with curiosity as he takes the glass by its stem.

  “Okay. Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For telling me. For trusting me… So, when you made the decision to leave the Unit, does that mean you appointed a successor too?”

  Jax takes a sip and shakes his head as he swallows. Looking at his glistening, wet lips makes me lick my own. I feel myself falling under his spell.

  “No. I decided to pull the plug altogether. Part of running things meant that I had an emergency exit system in place. That system could be used either in an emergency, or if the Boss decided to shut it down by their own freewill. I had the power and it was my decision. When I instigated the shutdown, everybody had to destroy all links to the Unit. They are kept in the dark as to the reasons why.”

  “Do you think anybody will start it back up themselves?”

  “It’s possible, but they have no connections to each other. I was different because I was brought in via Carmel, and the Boss introduced me to Jack not long before he exited the Unit himself. From my interactions with them, I don’t think it’s likely. They’ve all got fire in their bellies, but I can’t imagine any of them being able to start from scratch and build up their network across the country like we did.”

  “So, when you said you weren’t part of the Unit anymore, it was so much more than that.” This new information has me cartwheeling inside, cementing his decision as final. For him to make this massive choice shows me his commitment even more. This life decision of his is final, with or without me. “You said a couple of things?”

  “I did. Well, I know I’ve just turned up here unannounced, which kind of contradicts what I’m about to say… I don’t want to suffocate you, B. I know how much you love the gym, and I don’t want to stand in the way of that. So, I’ve handed in my notice.”

  “You’ve done what?”

  “I’ve left—”

  “When?”

  “This morning.”

  “Jax. I don’t want you to leave. I could’ve just found a new gym, or gone back to road running, got some free weights here… You loved it there. Now I feel awful for even mentioning it. Why didn’t you speak to me about it first?”

  “Beth, it’s okay. I have my gym at home, and it was only supposed to be short-term anyway. I was getting too comfortable there, so it was time to leave. You just gave me the nudge I needed.”

  “I wasn’t intentionally giving you any nudges. If I’d have known you were thinking about it, I would’ve ended my membership and beat you to it. I feel terrible.”


  “Don’t. This’ll be good for me, for us. I don’t want to be bound by working a job I don’t need to. Now I have you, I never want to be restricted again, you know, when we get through this.”

  “When we get through this. That confident, huh?”

  “Right now, reading your mind, your body… I’ll go out on a limb and say, yes, I am.”

  On that note, he tilts his head back slightly and sucks in his thick, bottom lip. Still with his hands in his pockets, which hold his jacket open, it’s the most sexy, self-assured stance possible. Letting his lip slide out slowly, he drags his teeth across it. Miss Alter Ego is frantically readjusting her tits, with a wicked look of excitement etched on her face. Clearly, she’s as turned on by his confidence as I am.

  “Right. Okay. So, that’s it then? Nothing else to declare?”

  “Not right now, no. So, now it’s your turn, Miss Taylor. Is there something you’d like to get off your beautiful chest, Angel?” Why didn’t I put a bra on? It’s pointless attempting to hide my arousal, it’s baking hot in here so he knows I’m not cold! I take two steps back as he steps forward. “Well?”

  “Yes.” I whisper. “Erm… There’s things we could talk—”

  “Unless, of course…” He interrupts me and I let him. “You’d rather talk after?”

  “After what?”

  I’m hooked on the bait of his irresistible charms. His demeanour takes over and starts reeling me in. Shrugging out of his jacket, he throws it on the armchair and continues.

  “After you stop denying me your touch.” I soak up the alteration in his husky, domineering tone. “After you remind me of how good it feels to hold you.” He steps closer, but this time I don’t back away. He reaches out his thumb and strokes it across my lips, watching intently. “After you let me kiss you.”

  “Jax.” I warn, with a lame, whimper. Wills’ lecture of ‘you’ve gotta make him work for your powerhouse pussy’ echoes in my ears then rapidly becomes muted. “I don’t know whether to, to—”

  “To what, B?”

  He takes a final step forward so that we’re nearly toe to toe. I drain the rest of my champagne in a panic and he takes it from me, placing both glasses on the wooden table beside me.

  “I’m worried that, being with you will cloud my judgment.”

  “Or, it could simply be the reminder of how good it feels, how essential this is…”

  I stare at his lips and that enticing stubble. Then I look down at his strong hands. He slowly reaches forward, delicately sliding his fingers over my hips. The energy instantly rushes between us and I submit to it, letting it take over. His touch creates ripples outward. Just like dropping a pebble into sleeping, still waters, he awakens me.

  The rise and fall of my chest gives him a clear indication that I’m powerless to his advances. The Jax Effect is as dominant as ever. I want this just as much as he does, of that I’m certain. There’s only so many times I can masturbate to mere memories. My feeble hands pale in comparison to his. Now, the real deal is here, as many inches from me, as I want of him inside me.

  Jax smoothes his palms further around to my bottom and tugs me forward quickly, causing my hands to fly up to his chest. It feels so right to have him beneath my touch again. I find the warmth of his body comforting. I can already feel his touch breathing life back into my lonely body.

  In all honesty, I just want to ravish him! I’m keen to see if this connection we have between us, has been tainted at all. But, I sense his hesitation and he is right, this should be slow. We need to fully appreciate every second, whilst we reintroduce our bodies to one another. I tilt my head up to him and quickly realise that’s not a good idea if pouncing on him is out of the equation. So, I look back down.

  In sync, we both methodically move our hands wherever they take us. Taking a small step forward, I rest my forehead on his chest, breathing him in. It’s intoxicating. Jax glides his hand up to the nape of my neck and expertly applies pressure. I groan into his touch as I feel more tension melting away from my body.

  With his other hand spanned across my shoulder blades, he pulls me in tighter, cementing us once more.

  To stop the mixture of emotions from getting the better of me, Miss Alter Ego is frantically lassoing anything that doesn’t result in sexual gratification and penning it away until later.

  I nuzzle into his chest and smile with happiness. With my forehead still pressed against him, I set to work slowly undoing his buttons. Meanwhile, Jax unties my hair and buries his nose into my scalp, inhaling deeply. Then he lets my damp hair fall down my back and runs his fingers through it, sending shivers over my spine.

  I pull his shirt out of his trousers and undo the final button at the bottom. Rolling the shirt off his big shoulders, he reaches around to remove the cufflinks and tugs the shirt from either wrist.

  He’s wearing a tight, pure white vest, which I gather from the bottom, sliding it up to reveal his beautiful body. Jax takes over and whips his vest off over his head with one hand.

  Skin. That’s all I can think of; his smooth, inked skin. I shake my head a little to beat back the emotions that threaten to spill over. Now is not the time.

  Running my fingers over his abs, his scar, and then up to his chest. I lean forward and kiss his body at long last. My lips are back where they belong. They’re just simple kisses, but I feel as though it’s my body’s way of letting his know, ‘It’s okay, I’m still here’. I know he has needed me this week too. But, as hard as it was, I needed this time out.

  When I reach his chocolate brown nipples, my tongue instinctively starts to lick. Jax groans as I bite down gently. Pulling away, he takes hold of my chin and guides my mouth to his. Looking me dead in the eye, his expression tells me that he wants nothing more than to fuck me into oblivion right now. But first, we kiss.

  I part my mouth as an invitation, which he readily accepts. I’m expecting a slow, sensual kiss. Instead, he toys with my mouth at first, grazing his teeth across my lips. He is so much more disciplined than me. He turns his face enough for me to stroke my lips across his beard. It feels lush, just like I knew it would.

  Jax presses his hips into me, allowing me to feel his erection, hard against my stomach. My horny state accelerates tenfold. When he latches onto my bottom lip and begins to suck, I can’t help but moan like a pornstar. This feels ridiculously good. We’ve barely touched, yet I know I’m already wet for him. That’s when I see that unmistakable flash of hunger burning in his eyes, telling me that I’m the only thing that’ll satisfy him.

  Jax’s responding moan sounds more like a growl as he hoists me up to wrap my legs around his waist.

  “Fuck this!” He declares. “You gonna let me fuck you, Angel?”

  Chapter Five

  I’m certain it’s a rhetorical question, as my body is practically screaming for him to take control. But maybe I should try and make him work for it, as Wills suggested.

  “No.”

  Earning me a cocky ‘Let’s play’ expression, Jax strides us into the open kitchen and sits me on top of the counter, remaining between my legs. Spreading his hands across my inner thighs, his thumbs stroke up and press into my pussy, causing a gasp to escape my lips.

  “Don’t underestimate me.” He warns. “I recognised your game before you even started playing. Besides, your body always tells me the truth… The way it reacts to me, and only me.”

  I can’t help but think about the massive, hard dick that’s just inches away from me. I hook my heels around his waist and pull us closer together, feeling him pressed flush between my legs.

  “Is that right?”

  “Beth, you being here, alone, will never work. As long as I am here—” He presses his forefinger to my heart, unintentionally brushing his knuckles over my breast. “You will never escape me. Is that what you want?”

  I think about the tears I’ve cried myself to sleep with, imagining a life without him in it. I reluctantly scoot back a little to avoid his major di
ckstraction.

  “No. I don’t want to lose you.”

  I gulp hard. I frantically search his eyes for the reassurance that it’s okay for me to be confused. He leans forward, nudging my face to the side and places his lips delicately on my neck, as he speaks.