Always Angel (The List #4)

by N. K. Love

  “Well, at least she had the pleasure of being held in your arms, this one certainly won’t.”

  She declares, nodding her head in my direction.

  “So, you were watching me the whole time, afterwards?”

  “I followed you. Got to know you from a distance but you made that difficult when you starting keeping yourself locked away. I knew you were grieving and blaming yourself. I’d seen you arguing with her before she got out the car, which worked in my favour because it made your guilt evolve into anger and, over time, hatred. I watched you grieve, watched your life turn upside down before my very eyes and you didn’t do a thing to stop it, you gave up on yourself but I didn’t give up on you. It just made us all the more perfect for each other.”

  “This is just… What about Samara?”

  “I knew you’d go to his house eventually so I warned his girlfriend to stay away from you and recommended she moved. She was too high risk to kill by then because the police were already sniffing around and I didn’t want to put you in danger of being investigated. I followed you to the West Midlands, bought another couple of properties so I could be closer to you. I bided my time and when I finally had the courage to approach you, you rewarded me with the most incredible night of lovemaking I could’ve ever dreamed of.” Jax shakes his head and screws up his face. “You can’t tell me that sex with her has been anywhere near as intense as that night… I think that’s what made you keep your distance; it overwhelmed you. I understand, it overwhelmed me too, but it confirmed that I was right about you and I’d do anything for you.”

  She steps closer to him and reaches out towards his face.

  “Don’t touch me.”

  “It was all going well until I came running to your bedside when you’d been stabbed. Protecting you was half the appeal… Instead, I found this hussy had been keeping your bed warm at night. Do you know how that made me feel? Sure, you shagged around a lot and I was okay with that. I understood that a man with your kind of stamina has needs, but I sensed that she was going to stick around and it made my blood boil.”

  “What I have with Beth is un-touch-able, she is everything to me, everything, Carmel. You are nothing. You never have been.”

  “How can you say that, even now? Look at me. I’m beautiful, successful, wealthy and fiercely in love with you. Yet, you meet some simple, naïve, girl with nothing going for her and she turns your head? That’s simply outrageous to me! Anyway, what’s done is done, Jaxson. So now you know. In fact, surprisingly, I actually feel uplifted, cleansed even.” She smiles over to me. “Thank you, Bethany. I’ll sleep well tonight knowing that my little secret was uncaged in the end.”

  “This is so fucked up. You’ve orchestrated everything.” She nods, looking pleased with herself. “And there’s nothing else, no other secrets you want to offload?”

  “No, that’s everything, Jaxson… As much as I’d quite like to kiss you now—for one final taste—I am pretty sure you wouldn’t reciprocate so I’ll just leave it there. You have managed to stall me for long enough and it’s not time we’re supposed to be killing here.” She brushes imaginary creases out of dress and checks her expensive watch. “I’ve got a flight to catch and I don’t like tardiness. So, without further ado….” She strums her fingers on her chin, looking at Jax and then at me.

  Talking to the man behind me, she tells him to kill me first so that Jax has to watch and then she’ll have the pleasure of seeing him suffer for a few minutes before the other man kills Jax.

  “Bethany, dear, sorry it’s had to come to this. For the record, I did enjoy your company, a little. Jaxson, hood on or off?”

  “It’s not too late, Carmel.”

  “On. Or. Off.”

  “Off.” He answers, staring at me with a faint smile. “I want to look into her eyes.”

  “Aww. How romantic! ‘On’ it is!”

  A second later and I’m back to the darkness. My breathing becomes erratic. Jax should’ve known she wasn’t going to let him have his way. If he’d have said ‘on’, she would’ve left the hood off. I could’ve taken strength from him right up until the final moment. But now, I’m alone again. My nostrils work overtime, trying to keep up. The heavy sound of my breathing surrounds my head.

  “Oh look at her, Jaxson. She’s not the strong woman you’d imagined now is she?”

  That’s when I realise I don’t want him to see me like this, not now. I am strong. With bitter determination I quickly control my breathing and focus on Jax. I think of how, when I’m lying on his chest in bed, our breathing always falls quickly into sync. It calms me. This is it. I’m going to die. I want it to be painless and I pray that she doesn’t make Jax suffer. I will be with him again soon, if there really is a heaven—please say there is, please, God.

  “Do you want to say goodbye, Jaxson…? No? Fine… Do it!”

  A gunshot sound deafens in my ears. With my eyes squeezed tight, I feel nothing. A beautiful numbness. Thank you, God. Am I leaving this world now? More shots echo around and I wait for a pain that doesn’t come.

  Blinking my eyes open, I’m still very much alive. NO! She deceived us and had Jax killed first. I try to scream but I can’t even open my lips this time. All that comes out is the moaning echo of my internal cries.

  Panicking, I struggle again through fear and anger rolled into one. Left and right, I yank my arms so hard it feels like my wrists will detach. Two manly hands land on my shoulders from behind and I jump and lean forward trying to get them off me.

  Easing up their touch, the man reaches his face close to my left ear.

  “Shhh. It’s okay, Smiler. Everything’s going to be okay.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  7:16pm

  Will?

  “Wait! Turn the chair around.”

  Jax’s voice draws closer and my heart can’t take it. The chair is lifted and turned. I don’t know what the hell is happening but hearing their voices tells me we’re safe. We are alive and we are safe.

  “That was some fucked up shit, buddy. You alright?”

  The cable ties behind me are quickly cut away, finally freeing my arms. I pull them around and reach out searching for him and they’re immediately cocooned in the familiar warmth and safety of the most incredible hands that have ever touched me. His arms rest gently on my thighs and I picture him crouching down on his knees in front of me. He soothes my wrists with his touch as another pair of hands cuts away the restraints on my legs. I feel his forehead press against our hands, no doubt in a similar silent prayer to the one that’s on repeat in my head.

  A pair of footsteps walk away up the stairs, leaving us in silence.

  Jax goes to move his hands but I cling to one of them, squeezing it tightly. I need his touch as much as I need oxygen right now. Taking the hood from the front of my neck with one hand, he slowly lifts it up and off my head, letting it fall behind me.

  Fluttering my eyes open, they instantly connect with my soulmate but this time it’s not a vision. He is right here in front of me and that wonderful protective shield of his is surrounding us. I should have known it was there all along. I don’t know how and I don’t need to, not yet anyway. All that matters is we’re safe and we’re together.

  I only realise he’s removed the tape when the soft pads of his thumb run across my lips from left to right. Then he gently cradles my face within his strong hands but we still don’t speak. Our eyes well up in sync and I gulp hard. Tears run down my cheeks and over his hands. He doesn’t move.

  Gradually I raise a shaky hand and overlap one of his. I lean my face into his palm, pressing him closer into me. God, I don’t ever want to be out of his sight and without his precious touch again. The emotions that tear through me are almost inconceivable. We’ve just survived something that’d give my nightmares nightmares and it’s served to prove the true depth of my feelings for this man.

  I open my mouth to speak but all I can do is breathe. It feels amazing to just breathe.

 
Gradually moving my hands to his body, I slowly smooth them around his ribcage. This extra touch calms me and my tears subside, clearing my fuzzy head more and more.

  “Jack! Where’s Jack?!”

  “Shhh. It’s okay. He’s okay.”

  That sudden surge of tension releases and Jax’s genuine smile is mirrored back at him, straight from my singing heart. Jax pulls my head forward onto his chest and wraps his loving arms around me. Everything’s going to be okay.

  “Jax, I don’t want to talk, not just yet.”

  “Me neither, Angel. Me neither.”

  I’m vaguely aware of men walking down the stairs into the basement but I don’t want to move. Jax reaches around and softly takes my arms, unclasping them from his back. He shifts from his knees to his feet and stands up, pulling away from me.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Beth, it’s okay. Listen, I don’t want you to turn around. Jack is here. He is going to take a quick look at you and then he’ll take you up to the car. I’ll be right behind you.” He kisses my lips quickly and then presses our heads together. “Five minutes.”

  I look up into the ocean blue eyes of a dashing silver fox who I never thought I’d see again.

  “Oh Jack.”

  “Come here, sweetheart.”

  Dropping his case onto the floor, he blesses me with his signature bear hug, zapping me back to the last time he hugged me, in that hole in the ground. Instead of letting it upset me, I think about how happy I am that he’s alive. My heart was crushed when I heard those first gunshots, but if they had to make Carmel believe it, that meant me believing it too.

  “God, I’m so happy to see you.”

  “I’m sorry we did that to you, Beth. It was the only way, I promise.”

  “I understand… Well, I don’t, yet. But I trust you.”

  “Okay. Do you mind…” I shake my head and he starts checking me over. “Doctor’s stupid question time… How are you feeling?”

  “I’m okay… No, honestly.”

  “Jesus, Bethany. What the hell did she do to you?”

  Jack has uncovered the cut along my forearm.

  “It’s nothing. Honestly. It looks worse than it is.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that! Come on, let’s get you out of this shithole. I’ll treat you in the back of the car.” He pauses and then shakes his head. “Too soon for double entendre’s…?” He asks as he kisses the top of my head. “Ah-ha. There’s that lovely smile.”

  Making sure I don’t look behind me at what must be Carmel’s dead body, Jax and Jack take an arm each, guiding me up the stairs, as though I’ll break if they let go. I still haven’t seen Will but I guess he is working out the next steps with those other men. Once I’m settled into the roomy backseat of the 4x4, Jax disappears back off to the house.

  Jax

  Will’s men sweep the place for any personal possessions, only finding Carmel’s handbag and a bag of clothes. Will had already broken into her car and took the two cases of cash, which was intended as his payment for my life and Jack’s. Talk about a high-end contract! It’s been a long time since I last saw that amount in hard cash.

  Apparently there was also a huge designer suitcase stuffed with her belongings, so it appears she wasn’t lying when she said she had a flight to catch—‘had’ being the operative word!

  “Thanks, man, for everything. You saved her life.” Exchanging a firm handshake, I’m sure our expressions speak a thousand words of how relieved we both are that it all went down as planned. “I can never repay you but that’s not gonna stop me from trying!”

  “There’s no need for that. Bethany means a lot to me and my family. I would’ve fucked up anybody trying to hurt that girl, you included!”

  “I believe you.”

  “Under different circumstances the outcome could’ve been gravely different. Nobody would’ve even known Beth was in danger in the first place. So, let’s put it down to the destiny that psycho was harping on about! All’s well that ends well, Jax!”

  “I hear that!”

  “Go on. Go to her, my boys have got this covered.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Of course. I’ve been paid very well, remember… Seriously, go on. I’ll be up in a minute.”

  7:39pm

  Standing beside my car, in the doorway of the backseat, I stroke Beth’s hair away from her face. With her eyes closed, she leans back against the headrest, exhausted. I’m counting my blessings with every breath she takes.

  Jack’s at the back of the car, packing his bag away when Will approaches us.

  “All set, Jaxson?”

  “Will?”

  Beth bolts upright and I guide her down from the car.

  “Hey there, Smiler.”

  She throws her arms around Will and I walk around the back of the car to see Jack and give them a moment alone.

  “Thanks, Jack.”

  We hug it out. We’ve been through a whirlwind of shit these last few days and he has been there for me throughout it all.

  “There’s no physical injuries to worry about… She’s one tough cookie, brother. But you already knew that. What she’s been through…” He closes the car boot, shaking his head. “She’s going to need some time to get her head around everything though.”

  “I’ll give her whatever she needs, Jack. You know what she means to me… Come on, let’s get the hell out of here.”

  Jack takes the front seat, Beth and I ride in the back. It takes about an hour and a half for Wills to drive us back into Birmingham. Will got one of his team to follow behind the van in my car and he drops Jack off at the petrol station where his car was left earlier.

  I call up The Dion and Will takes us there. It’s against Beth’s wishes, but I decided it was too early for her to go back to mine after what happened last time she was there. The Dion is somewhere neutral, where she can recuperate until I can finalise what happens next. When we arrived, I exchanged numbers with Will and he jumped in a cab.

  Once we were finally alone, Beth went straight to the bathroom, understandably desperate to scrub the last few days from her skin. She was quiet, seeming to retract herself from what was going on around her. Jack did say that she needed space to process everything. I just felt grateful that she let me join her in the shower, worried that she may try to push me away or want some distance.

  Beth stands still beneath the showerhead with water cascading over her face. She closes her eyes and lets me wash her. Being naked, with her body lit up under the spotlights, there’s evidence all over her body of what she has been put through. Bruises on her wrists from the restraints, some either side of her ribs, fingermark bruises around her neck and a fading bruise on her cheekbone. There’s grazes on her knees and scratches on her face. There’s scratches on her palms and on the inside of her knuckles. Then there’s that cut along her forearm. The more I wash her, noticing all of these marks, the more I have to fight to contain my anger. What’s the point in getting angry anymore? It’ll achieve nothing. So I substitute my anger for a painstaking gratitude that I have my woman, all in one piece and she is out of harm’s way now.

  When I kneel down to wash her legs, I thought there was another bruise on the inside of her thigh. But when I wipe away the soapy bubbles, I focus on her handwriting. When I touch it, Beth must remember it’s there and she looks down at me. Her thigh begins to tremble a little, as does her bottom lip, but she moves her leg to the side for me to read: ‘Carmel killed me. She is evil. Jax, you are my forever always, no matter what.’

  I grip hold of her hips, resting my head on her stomach and take a moment to keep my emotions in check. I think of her state of mind when she wrote it, what she must’ve been going through to write a message on her body with the intention of it being read once she’d been killed…

  Part of me wants to break down and cry and pour my heart out to her, telling her how much I love and appreciate her, that I’m sorry and I’ll never let her go again. Then the primal s
ide of me wants to slam her against the tiles and give her a better reason for her legs to tremble by showing her just how fucking much of badass I know she is. But thankfully, the rational side of me is still in control and knows that either of those would been inconsiderate moves. The last thing Beth needs is to be overwhelmed with my intense emotions.

  After kissing every single mark on her flawless body, I kiss her lips softly and we hold each other.

  Once I dry her off and wrap her in a fluffy, white bathrobe, I put her to bed and she falls fast asleep within minutes. She looks so peaceful and no matter how strong I know she is, she also looks vulnerable. I never want to leave her side again. I even hover in the doorway, not wanting to take my eyes off her for a minute. But at a risk of disturbing her, I close the door and go to make a few calls.