by MJ Haag
He shook his head and nodded toward Edmund. He already had a bucket and a thin, flat piece of metal for scraping. He blew out the pillar near the fire and started to scrape the candle and puddled wax away from the surface.
“The young baker already offered his assistance and a ride home. He’s a good man. Too bad he married your sister.”
“Sir,” I said with censure.
He only chuckled.
“I said what we both thought. And it’s the truth. I saw the way your sisters sought you out tonight, and how you avoided them. It’s odd they’re both missing now, hmm? I wonder what troubles they will cause you next.”
“I dearly hope none,” I said with a sigh.
He laughed again.
“I better help clear away the remaining food,” I said, standing. “May I send any home with you?”
“I wouldn’t be opposed to a pastry or two if there are any left.”
I nodded and went to the table where Kara was combining everything onto trays and stacking the empty ones. I sent Retta over with two pastries for the candle maker, then picked up a stack of trays.
“You shouldn’t be doing that,” Kara said when she saw.
“Nonsense. If not this, then what?”
“Lord Ruhall is saying good-bye to guests. Perhaps you should join him?”
“I’d prefer to do this so I can seek my bed sooner.” Alec’s announcement had changed my desire to say farewell. Many, like my sisters and the smiths, would only speak to me because of my upcoming social elevation, when in reality they resented me for it. Those who would see me no differently were few.
Kara didn’t argue further, and I made my way to the kitchen without interruption. As the rest of the staff set the ballroom to rights, I remained in the kitchen to wash the trays once I put on an apron. Edmund came in carrying his trays.
When I saw him, I paused washing to thank him.
“I had several people ask who made the pastries. I hope this helps business.”
“I’m sure it will. Do you want Bryn to come help?” he asked, eyeing the trays Tam had just carried in and set on the table before leaving again.
“No. I’m sure once the ballroom is clean, Kara and Egrit will ban me from the kitchen.”
“Oh, yes. Congratulations, Benella. You did look the picture of a Lady tonight.”
“Thank you, Edmund.”
He left, and after a few minutes, I heard the wagon rumble away from the door. No doubt to go to the front for his wife and the candle maker.
As I’d predicted, Egrit and Kara came to shoo me from the kitchen. Exhausted, I headed for my old room. After all, there no longer seemed any point to sleeping on the floor. And the bed in the Lady’s room was so very comfortable.
I carefully hung my dress and buttoned myself into one of Alec’s shirts that I’d collected. Then, I blew out my candle and settled into bed.
In the dark, I heard a faint rhythmic sound. Footsteps. They continued for a long while. Pacing. Eventually, the hushed noise stopped. I waited, thinking Alec would join me, but the door didn’t open. I sat up and saw the faint light from under his door.
Curious, I left the warmth of my bed and approached his room. Pressing my ear to the door, I heard a slight rustling that let me know he wasn’t yet sleeping. I nibbled my bottom lip and debated what to do. Then I heard him sigh. The hitch in it had me gently easing the door open.
He sat on the edge of his bed with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. He still wore his shirt and pants, but the jacket lay draped over his chair. His defeated pose struck a tender chord, and I approached him in silence.
He didn’t move when I stood before him. I reached out to gently smooth his hair. His head jerked up, startling me. His tormented gaze held me. Then he reached out, gently gripped my waist, and pulled me to stand between his parted knees. He sighed shakily and set his forehead to my chest.
I stood there with my hands at my sides, looking down at his dark head. Finally, I gave into my impulse and reached up. My fingers brushed through his hair slowly as I tried to soothe whatever plagued him.
His hands tightened around my waist a moment before he lay back, pulling me with him. Sprawled on top of him, I stared down at him with wide eyes and a rising sense of panic. Did the announcement of our intent to wed mean...
He gently eased me to his side, his hand tenderly smoothing back the stray strands of hair from my face.
“Sleep, Benella.”
Realizing I wasn’t in danger, I sighed and curled beside him, content to stay as I was.
* * * *
The next morning, I woke in my own bed and quickly dressed. The sun already lit the sky. Though I had no care to see Blye off, I wanted to thank Ila once more. However, when I knocked on Ila’s door, her room was already empty. I hurried downstairs and met Mr. Crow coming from the kitchen.
“Did Ila leave?”
“Yes, Miss. Swiftly is driving her and the other Miss Hovtel back to the Water with the carriage.”
A swell of relief and regret washed over me. That Blye had left without a word did not bother me.
“Your sister, Bryn, is waiting to speak with you in the kitchen,” he said.
I had no desire to speak to her, yet curiosity won. She should be with Edmund; she’d seemed so delighted with his company last night.
“Very well,” I said and went off to the kitchen. The warm room welcomed me as did Kara’s smile.
“I have a plate waiting for you,” she said, glancing at the table where Bryn sat.
“Thank you, Kara. Are you managing comfortably this morning?”
“Yes. The men are working in the second apple orchard instead of hunting this week.”
“Good,” I said with a nod. With only cooking duties, Kara could handle the kitchen duties well without Bryn. I turned to address my sister.
“Bryn. I thought you and Edmund meant to spend some time together,” I said, moving toward the table to claim my breakfast.
“I thought we could take a walk,” she said, standing.
I paused and eyed my plate for a moment. That she wanted to speak with me made me more curious than hungry. That she wanted to do so where no one could hear worried me.
“Of course,” I said, moving toward the kitchen door.
Kara stared after us as we left.
Bryn set a moderate pace down the drive and remained quiet until we’d progressed a good distance from the manor.
“Congratulations on your engagement,” she said. “When do you plan to wed?”
“By winter solstice.”
“So quickly. Is there a reason to hurry?” She glanced at my stomach. “Perhaps the baker was successful?”
I shuddered at the unwanted memory.
“No. He was not.” In the distance, I saw the gate.
“Lord Ruhall, then?”
“No. Why are you asking these questions?” I said, studying her.
“I’d only thought it would be nice to have a sister likewise with child. Someone to share the aches and fears of pregnancy.” She sounded sincere.
“I’m sure I won’t be long behind you once I’m wed.” I tried not to think what that meant. My mind wasn’t ready to grasp what would occur in less than two months.
She set her hand on her stomach.
“The babe moves now. Flutters that make me smile. Thank you for allowing me a week with Edmund. Waking early to walk to the estate and departing after dinner leaves us little time together. I’ve missed him.”
“I’m sure Edmund misses you just as much. I hope business improves so you won’t need to work at the estate.”
She nodded as we neared the gates.
“And if it doesn’t?” she asked.
I remained quiet, certain she would reveal the point of this walk soon.
“The people here are more tightfisted than before,” she said. “Soon, we won’t have the coin we need to buy flour because customers insist on bartering for bread. Yet Edmund continues t
o trade.”
My lips thinned as I recalled how many times she had sent me to the baker to try to trade.
“His solution is that I keep toiling in your kitchen. He knows that won’t work once the babe comes. What happens when we run out of coin? His father plans to remarry so we can’t go back,” she said as we walked through the gates.
I had a moment’s unease leaving the safety of the estate, but remained silent.
“Edmund keeps telling me we need to give it time and refuses to discuss other options. When I press him, he only becomes upset with me.”
Empathizing with Edmund’s strained patience, I continued to walk and wait for her to arrive at her point. We cleared the dense trees that surrounded the estate and moved through the outer woods along the road.
“You can imagine my relief when Lord Ruhall announced your engagement last night.”
My insides chilled. She meant to use me again. But how?
“Blye had hoped it would be her; but as long as he chose one of my sisters, I don’t mind.”
“How does our marriage ease your mind?”
“As you’ve said, you’ll be with child soon enough, and with our mother gone, you will need my help with the birth. Certainly, you’ll want me closer once your time comes. And, Edmund’s talents are wasted in the village. I’ve heard many estates in the South pay handsomely for a private baker. Working for Lord Ruhall would be his dream come true.”
Edmund’s dream? I doubted that.
“With such a large, vacant manor, we could even have our own suite of rooms. I don’t expect you to pay Edmund the annual forty gold he would earn in the South. Thirty-five would do well.”
She meant to live at the manor and have Lord Ruhall pay Edmund an exorbitant amount of money the estate couldn’t afford. And why? Because she was worried the business at the bakery wouldn’t pick up. I could understand her concern to a point and might have been moved to grant a reasonable request. But not this.
“No.”
She stopped walking and turned toward me. We stood just on the edge of the tree line. In the distance, I could see the village.
“What do you mean no? It’s a fair wage.”
“Does Edmund know you are discussing this with me?”
She grimaced and a flush colored her cheeks.
“I thought not. Go home, Bryn. Spend time with Edmund. Show him you love him, and stop scheming.”
“I should stop scheming? You had better look at yourself. According to what Mrs. Wimbly said, you’ve been playing the Lady since you arrived there. Your plan to ingratiate yourself may seem to have worked for now, but Lord Ruhall will see through you eventually and know you’re no better than the rest of us. I wish it would have been Blye. She’s not nearly as selfish.”
My mouth popped open as she whirled and stomped away from me.
“Selfish,” I said, following her. “I went to the very baker who tried to rape me because you asked it. I’ve walked the estate and set traps for meat, so you could hoard the coin that Father gave you to purchase food. I’ve been called a whore, though we both know it’s not me who deserves the title.” Her face flushed scarlet. “And still, I spoke up on your behalf when you needed employment. I’ve done much and more for you, Bryn. What have you ever done for me?”
I stopped following and stared after her as she hurried away from me. We’d almost reached the village. From the shadow of the smithy, I saw movement. Bryn didn’t notice it as she passed but then Bryn didn’t notice much unless it benefited her.
Splane stepped further into the light and watched Bryn walk by. I backed into the shadows of the trees, then pivoted on my heel. Where was Tennen?
Chapter 11
A healthy dose of self-preservation had me picking up my skirts and running. Tennen’s words from the night before rang in my ears, and I cursed myself for a fool. I should have asked Tam to follow me. Better yet, I should have stopped at the gate and told Bryn I wouldn’t walk further.
Busy with my self-recrimination, I wasn’t prepared for Tennen when he stepped from behind a tree. I ran right into his extended arm, and the impact sent me flying backward. I landed so hard, it knocked the breath from me; and my lungs refused to inhale.
My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water as he dragged me by the arm further into the trees. My vision danced from lack of air, and my heart pounded fiercely in my chest. I finally managed a weak inhale just as he dropped my arm.
Tennen fell upon me, his expression twisted with hate. The impact robbed me of my hard won breath, and I weakly struggled to get out from under him. He caught my hands and held them tight within one of his.
“I heard what you said to Bryn. I think it will be my babe that grows in your belly. Just like with your sister’s.”
His other hand started pulling at my skirt. As it hitched higher, baring my legs to the air, I mouthed my denial. I had no air to speak it. Thrashing beneath him caused his grip to tighten painfully on my wrists. Heedlessly, I tugged harder, trying to free them.
He leaned on me to pin me with his weight, then set his mouth near my ear.
“I’m not like the baker. I won’t fail. You’ll bleed on my shaft.” He laughed. “If you haven’t already bled on someone else’s.”
I panted with fear.
His grasping hand found my bared thigh and gripped it tight. He pulled it to the side to settle his hips firmly between my legs. His coarse pants abraded my tender skin. When he let go of my thigh, he pulled back just enough to fumble with his pants. His harsh breaths filled my ear as I continued to buck and tried to free my hands. Twice our hips connected, and I felt the bulge of his desire. Nausea and terror filled me.
Desperate, I turned my head, looking for something, anything, to help me. No branch lay nearby. No beast, either. I wailed, a keening sound thick with my despair, before the sight of his ear cut the sound short. I opened my mouth, bared my teeth, and darted forward. Clamping down on his ear, I held tight as he grunted then yelled.
He stopped fumbling with his pants and forgot my hands in his desperation to pull me from his ear. The moment my hands were free, I released my hold and shoved at him with all my might.
He flew from me, drifting up and away. I blinked, confused by my strength and disoriented in my fear and desperation. But, I wasn’t the cause of his removal.
Alec stood behind Tennen, lifting him from me by the back of his shirt. Tam hurried to my side and said something I didn’t hear. I stared as Tennen flailed for a moment then found his feet. A disconnected part of me registered Tam discreetly lowering my skirt. Mostly, Alec’s rage-twisted face held my attention.
Before Tennen could stand, Alec changed his hold to the front of Tennen’s shirt and drove his fist into Tennen’s stomach. Tennen’s drawn moan of pain didn’t stop Alec, though. His next punch broke Tennen’s nose.
Tam gently assisted me to a sitting position, which helped clear my head.
“Lord Ruhall,” Tam said. “You’ll kill the boy.”
Alec didn’t seem to hear as he drew back once more.
“Alec.”
I didn’t know why I spoke his name, but he stopped and turned his head to look at me.
“I want to go home.”
It wasn’t until I said it that I realized just how desperately I wanted not to return to the manor, but to Alec. The one who’d always made me feel safe whether beast or man. Tears welled in my eyes, and a soft sob escaped me.
Alec thrust Tennen to the ground and came to my side. He squatted beside me and gently smoothed my hair from my face. In his gaze, I saw the love and worry he held for me.
He carefully lifted me into his arms then set out toward the estate. I didn’t look over his shoulder at Tam, who had Tennen by the arm. Instead, I rested my cheek against Alec’s chest and closed my eyes.
When we neared the estate, he started issuing commands.
“Take Tennen to the Head. Get Egrit. Benella needs her help to wash and change.”
He
mounted the stairs as he spoke, and I was certain he left Tam and Mr. Crow scurrying in his wake.
We’d barely entered my room when Egrit arrived. Alec carefully set me on my feet. I trembled but stood on my own. My mind was blank as I watched him walk out the door.
Egrit didn’t speak as she helped me from my dress. I shook too badly to do it on my own. When I stood in my underthings, she wet a cloth and washed my face, arms, and hands. Then she knelt and wiped the backs of my calves. It was the part of me that had touched the ground when Tennen had yanked up my skirt. I trembled harder.
“Did he...?”
I shook my head and closed my eyes. He hadn’t, but I could still feel the press of his hips against mine. Tears started anew.
When no dirt remained, Egret pulled a nightgown from my wardrobe and helped me into it.
Once she got me in bed and under my thick covers, she left. The door remained closed for no more than a moment before it opened again. Alec strode across the room and sat on the bed beside me. He pulled me into his arms and just held me as I continued to cry.
I was so angry. At Bryn. At Blye. At Tennen. At the whole Coalre family, really. And, at Rose. How was the North any better than it had been before the enchantment?
Alec’s hand ran over my hair again and again. I knew he meant to soothe me. And, he did. Eventually, the tears stopped, and my hitched breathing slowed.
Safe, I slept.
Dreams plagued me. In them, I ran through the trees from a monster toward the beast, neither one gaining or receding. My heart raced until gentle hands and words pulled me from my terror-filled world.
“You’re safe. I’m here with you.” Alec stroked my hair and held me close. The dream faded, and I fell into a peaceful sleep.
I woke sweat-dampened and alone. Frowning, I looked around the room for Alec. The sun had passed its zenith, and a tray waited beside the bed. Sitting up slowly, I winced at my sore wrists and aching legs. I swallowed hard and refused to think about why I was sore. Instead, I eased from the bed, ignored the tray, and put on the remaining clean dress that waited in my wardrobe. The one I’d worn was gone.
With a steadying breath, I left the room and walked the familiar hall. Each step anchored me. I belonged here, with Alec. Not because I thought myself better than anyone else, but because I wanted to make the North a better place. A safer place. My home.
