by MJ Haag
When I reached the stairs, I heard raised voices.
“—harmless prank.”
“Prank?” Alec’s shout echoed through the halls. I hurried toward the sound. It came from the entry. “He attacked her, and this wasn’t the first time.”
Alec was speaking of Tennen.
“He’s always liked the girl.”
I recognized the smith’s voice and started to descend the steps.
“He only went too far trying to get her attention. I’ll sit him down and speak to him,” Tennen’s father said.
“It’s too late for paternal talks,” Alec said just before Mr. Coalre came into view.
When Mr. Coalre saw me, he flushed. Alec turned and met me at the bottom of the steps. Behind him, Mr. Coalre took two steps toward us.
“Benella, Tennen isn’t a criminal. Do the right thing.”
His words struck me like a blow, and my steps slowed. The right thing? What did he think was right? To let Tennen go? Of course Mr. Coalre would think that. After all, he had gotten away with so much. My thoughts collided as Alec scowled over his shoulder at the man.
“Yes,” I said half to myself, “I will do the right thing.” I focused on Mr. Coalre.
“Go, get Sara.”
Alec’s shocked gaze flew to meet mine.
“Alec, we need to go to the Water and speak with the Head.”
Mr. Coalre didn’t even thank me before he rushed out the door.
Alec held out a hand as I reached the third step. I wrapped my fingers around his.
“Why, Benella? He deserves to be punished for what he did.”
Alec looked angry and concerned. It was only right. He’d saved me from Tennen so many times.
“He does,” I agreed. “But there are truths you do not know.”
“Then tell me.”
“Patience,” I said softly, alighting from the last step. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him close. He embraced me in return. Behind me, I heard footfalls on the stairs.
“She is well, Mr. Hovtel,” Alec said without releasing me. “She wants to go to the Water and speak to the Head on Tennen’s behalf.”
I didn’t disagree.
* * * *
“Eat,” Alec said, handing me a meat pie before we cleared the gate.
My stomach twisted with nerves, but I took the food and nibbled on it. We continued a distance in silence while Alec watched me closely.
“What are you thinking?” he said softly.
“That I’d rather not go to the Water.”
“We can turn around.”
“No,” I said with a shake of my head. “We must go.” I needed to make the North safer in order to have a future here.
Too soon, we stopped before the home of the Head. Alec opened the door, stepped out, and turned to offer me a hand. As I descended, the door behind Alec opened. I recognized Mr. Pactel, the Head, immediately. Alec kept my hand on his arm as he turned to greet the man.
“Welcome, Lord Ruhall. It’s good to finally meet you in person. A pity it’s under such poor circumstances.” He turned to me.
“Miss Hovtel,” he said. Nothing more.
But really, what could one say to a woman twice almost raped? Any attempt at condolence would sound inane. However, I found it interesting that he came to greet Alec personally.
“Sir,” I said in acknowledgement of his greeting.
We followed Mr. Pactel inside where he led the way to his study.
Sara and her husband already waited within. Pale Sara sat in a chair, her hands demurely folded in her lap. She didn’t look up when we entered but kept her gaze on her hands.
“I admit to skepticism when Mr. Coalre told me you meant to speak on his son’s behalf,” Mr. Pactel said as we took our seats.
“I would prefer to continue this conversation without Mr. Coalre or Lord Ruhall,” I said. Mr. Coalre objected loudly; and Alec frowned at me, not in anger but speculation.
“Please,” I said softly, meeting Alec’s gaze. He nodded and stood. Mr. Coalre had no choice but to follow Alec out the door. Mr. Pactel eyed me expectantly but I didn’t address him. I turned to Sara.
“Silence brought me unfounded hatred from the men in your family. Silence brought me abuse at the hands of Tennen and then Mr. Medunge. I only kept silent because I thought I protected you. Now, I fear what silence will bring me next if I continue to keep company with it.”
She lifted her gaze and met mine. Tears ran down her cheeks.
“I won’t speak for Tennen,” I said to her. “I have much to say against him. He is malicious and views women with contempt, much like his father.
“I asked you here to give you a choice, Sara. A choice to save yourself and your other son. Splane hasn’t yet fully adopted his father’s or Tennen’s attitude.”
Pain reflected in her gaze as she understood what I meant to do.
“I won’t keep silent any longer.”
I turned to Mr. Pactel and started at the beginning of my tale. I spared no detail of what I’d witnessed so many months ago or of the torment Tennen unleashed upon me with Splane’s help. Mr. Pactel listened to each encounter with a stoic expression that cracked only once. He frowned as I recalled Edmund’s mention of Mr. Coalre’s visit to establish the same deal with the new baker as he’d had with the old.
When I finished, Sara turned to me.
“I didn’t know. I am so sorry.”
Mr. Pactel made a sound of disbelief and leaned forward in his chair.
“Miss Hovtel said you were there when the prior baker attempted to rape her. Were your eyes closed?” he asked sharply. “For if they were open, how could you not know?”
She paled further at his words but didn’t take her gaze from me.
“I didn’t know Tennen and Splane chased you and hurt you. I didn’t know Tennen waited in the house for you.” She faced Mr. Pactel. “I didn’t know why we needed to go to the baker that morning. I thought it was for me. For more bread. It broke my heart that my son meant to send me. When I saw Benella, I was first so relieved it wasn’t me.” She turned to me, her expression full of remorse and apology. “Then you started to fight. I wanted to step forward but...Patrick stopped me. I was so afraid.”
“I believe you,” I said. Fear of her husband had stolen her courage to stand up for herself. How could she ever stand up for me? I didn’t blame her for her inaction; I pitied her.
“You would have me see her as innocent?” Mr. Pactel asked me.
His words brought back what Rose had once told me...that I would call the guilty innocent. I’d thought she’d meant Alec, but now I understood. My silence had protected Mr. Medunge, Mr. Coalre, and Tennen.
“Coerced and controlled by her husband, she kept her silence, just as I kept mine. I believe we are both innocent of any crime. Our guilt lies in our fear and compassion. Consider that as you judge those who are guilty of much greater crimes.”
Mr. Pactel sat silent for a long while, studying Sara.
“Your husband will be sentenced to work in the mines for one year for his crimes against you. With my ruling, he forfeits his rights to any material wealth. Your son, Tennen, will work five years and also forfeit any material wealth. What is theirs is yours as recompense.
“You can choose to remain in this room as I sentence your husband or you can leave.”
She stood. Trembling, she straightened her shoulders.
“Before the Head, I sever my marriage to Patrick Coalre.” Then, she turned and walked out the door.
Through the open door, Mr. Pactel asked that the guard fetch Mr. Coalre and Lord Ruhall.
I stood.
“I would prefer to leave for the sentencing.”
He nodded and led me through a side door into a very small sitting room.
“I will have Lord Ruhall join you as soon as I’ve spoken with him.”
Minutes after he closed the door, I heard the murmur of low voices. Then, the smith began to yell and curse. The so
unds of a struggle reached me before the room went very quiet. It remained so for a long while. The abruptness of the door opening to my left brought me to my feet. Alec paused in the doorway as he caught the fear and panic in my eyes. After a moment, he stepped in and continued toward me.
“We can leave now,” he said softly.
I studied his face. The slight downturn of his mouth and the thin line of his lips held me in place.
“You’re angry.”
He sighed and gently took my hand in his.
“You should have told me.”
“It wasn’t my truth to tell.”
“It was. Because you were the one to suffer the most. I would have protected you and brought the smith and his son to the Head’s attention sooner. Instead, I paid the pair to pick apples.” He didn’t mask his disgust.
“I needed to give them a chance to choose to reform like Rose did for you.”
“You are not Rose. You are fragile, easily hurt.”
The bruises on my wrist told the truth of his words. Why had I suffered through the abuse I had? Was my lesson to learn not to trust or give second chances? I thought not and held firm to my belief that we were meant to make mistakes and learn from them. Perhaps I only needed to learn to be more wary of who to trust and who might deserve second chances.
With his hand warming my back, he guided me from the room.
Tam hopped into the driver’s seat as soon as we emerged into the late afternoon light. Alec helped me into the carriage. Once we settled into our seats, he called to Tam. The carriage lurched forward.
“When Kara told me you went for a walk, I became worried. Rightfully so, it seems. Why did you leave without someone?” Alec asked gently once we crossed the bridge.
A half snort escaped me, and I looked out the window.
“I did leave with someone. I left with Bryn. She had asked me to walk with her.” I shook my head. “I was foolish to go. We upset each other, and she left me near where you found me.”
“What upset you?”
“Her selfishness,” I said, meeting his gaze. “She told me she was glad we were marrying. Then proceeded to outline how you could hire Edmund, pay him an enormous annual wage, and allow them a suite of rooms at the manor. When I said no, she accused me of being selfish and that Blye would have been better suited as your wife.”
He remained silent, studying my face, then looked out the window for a time. The tense clench of his jaw showed his emotion.
“Tam,” he called.
“Sir.”
“Take us to the bakery in Konrall.”
A jolt of concern struck me.
“Edmund had no knowledge of our conversation.”
“I guessed as much,” he said.
“What do you plan to do?”
“Tell Edmund what his wife has caused.”
I sighed and nodded. Keeping silent served no purpose.
When the carriage stopped before the bakery, I took a steadying breath. Alec disembarked first, then reached to help me descend. Down the road, Splane carried items from the smithy to the wagon, filling it with all manner of tools and metal.
“What will they do?” I asked quietly.
“Sell what they can and start anew elsewhere,” he said, glancing in the direction of the smithy.
Tam hopped down from the driver’s seat and took the horses by the lead.
“I’m going to see if there’s something we can use.”
Alec nodded and led me inside. He kept my hand on his arm, and I was glad for the support. I didn’t want to face Bryn.
“Welcome, Lord Ruhall,” Bryn said with an eager smile. She didn’t glance at me.
“Bryn, Tennen attacked your sister after you left her this morning,” Alec said without preamble.
Her gaze flicked to me before returning to Alec. She remained silent, watching him expectantly. Edmund appeared from the kitchen.
“Good afternoon,” he said pleasantly. His welcoming smile faltered when he saw Alec’s displeased expression. “Can I help you?”
Alec repeated his statement, and Edmund’s eyes flew to me.
“Were you injured? Would you like to sit?”
“Thank you, Edmund. I’m fine, now. Alec came upon us before I suffered anything serious.” Alec’s fingers twitched over mine, and I gave his arm a gentle squeeze.
“We came because I hold your wife responsible,” Alec said with a good deal of anger.
Bryn’s mouth dropped open, and her face paled.
“After Benella told Bryn that she would not hire you and allow her sister and you to live at the manor, Bryn grew angry and left Benella alone on the road.”
“I’ve walked that road twice a day for weeks without incident,” Bryn said in quick defense.
“But Tennen didn’t hold a grudge against you,” Alec said, lowering his eyes to her belly. A small gasp escaped her, and her eyes began to water. “You knew he disliked Benella, and I suspect you also knew he’d attacked her before. Long before your family moved to the Water.”
Alec turned to Edmund.
“My feelings toward your wife do not extend to you. I believe Bryn has manipulated you as much as she has Benella. No man should suffer a manipulative wife who carries another man’s child.”
Bryn flinched and paled as she understood what Alec was suggesting. With panic, she looked toward Edmund. Edmund’s cheeks flushed, and he wouldn’t look at her.
“But that choice is yours alone,” Alec said.
“No,” Bryn said wretchedly, finally finding her voice. She rushed the few steps to Edmund’s side and clung to his arm. “Don’t sever our marriage. I only spoke to her for you. You work so hard. You deserve so much more than this.”
I looked away from the display.
“This?” Edmund said. “I’m proud to be a baker. I am a damn good one. If you’re not proud of that, if you don’t want to build a future with me, here, in this bakery, if you don’t want to work beside me and share the success earned by our own labors, you should marry another.”
His footsteps marked his retreat. I looked up and saw Bryn standing there, shaken. She stared at the door to the kitchen, not even noting us.
“Decide, Bryn,” I said quietly. “Who do you want to be? A loved wife or a lonely woman always wanting more than she has?”
Her gaze turned to me, and I saw the flash of anger there. Then her shoulders slumped, and the emotion disappeared. Like Edmund, she turned away from us and fled into the dreaded sitting room off the store.
* * * *
I sat in the library, pretending to read the book I held. Neither Father nor Alec disturbed my contemplations under this pretext. Today’s events needed consideration. Not Tennen’s attack or the Coalre family’s departure or even Bryn’s numerous hurtful rejections. No, the events that held my mind revolved around Alec, who currently paced quietly in his study.
How he’d reacted when he’d found Tennen on me, the enraged expression on his face, the way he’d struck Tennen...that was the beastly way he would have acted while enchanted, the way I’d wanted him to act when he’d found the baker atop me. He’d never changed. Not really. And I had refused to see that for so long. He had held my heart as the beast; and though I’d tried to deny it, he held my heart still. He wasn’t perfect, but I’d never wanted perfect like my sisters had. I’d wanted real. I wanted someone who could love me as I was and who I could love as he was.
The crackle of the fire almost drowned out the distant sound of Alec’s footfalls as he paced.
How many times had I hurt him with my denial? The lonely beast, punished for fifty years, was still there despite the clothes and title. And he hadn’t lied when he’d said he needed me. I’d thought he just meant my body or perhaps even my assistance. But it wasn’t any one thing he needed from me; he needed all of me. My love. My company. My compassion. My cool head. Living with Alec wouldn’t be easy, but I already knew that. It would be an adventure filled with love and consideration. I had been a f
ool to wait so long to accept what he offered me. I wouldn’t wait a moment longer. Our life together would start now.
I softly closed the book and stood. Father looked up at me, and I gave him a reassuring smile as I started toward the study. Alec caught sight of me and stopped his pacing. He waited patiently with worry furrowing his brow until I stood before him.
I reached up and gently ran my finger along the crease.
“Why are you worried?”
His gaze searched mine, then he took my hand in both of his. He traced the mottled bruise circling my wrist. The gentle touch and the anguish in his gaze made my stomach twist. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to my palm. I rested my other hand against his cheek, trying to comfort him. He held me like that for so long, I thought he wouldn’t speak of his concern.
“I worry that I’ve done you a greater wrong than those sentenced today,” he said, opening his eyes. “Last night, when we danced and I saw your conflict, I wanted to grant you your wish to go your own way, but I couldn’t. I’m too selfish to let you go. I want you as my wife; yet, you fear what that entails. A selfless man might offer to give you time, might promise not to touch you after we speak our vows. I’m not a selfless man. My need for you might be what finally drives you away. And I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”
My heart constricted then grew for the man before me. The hold on my hand loosened with his admission. He worried he’d trapped me into a marriage I didn’t want. I thought of Bryn and Edmund and soothed my fingers along his cheek.
“I have fears,” I agreed softly, “but I do not fear you.”
He exhaled, warming my palm.
“I need you to need me as badly as I need you,” he said.
I had no words to soothe or reassure him; I wanted reassurance myself. He’d made his plans clear. As soon as we spoke the vows, he would make me his wife. The thought made my stomach clench and my pulse leap as my hands fell to my sides. The experience with the baker and Tennen had been rough and disgusting. Yet, before either had hurt me, Alec had shown me there might be another side to the act. Fear warred with remembered passion. I wanted to trust him, but the idea of what he wanted to do to me was terrifying.
