Devastation: A Beauty and the Beast Novel

by MJ Haag

  Alec offered his arm as Father went inside. Holding him tightly, I let Alec walk me in.

  The Head waited for us along with a small audience. I barely saw them or heard what the Head said. Time moved too quickly and soon Alec was speaking his vows to love and honor me in this life and the next. Nerves danced in my stomach as I realized my turn had come. Taking a calming breath, I spoke my vows to do the same.

  Cheers erupted around us, and Alec pulled me in for another kiss. Another throat clearing and good-natured laughter forced us apart so he could lead me to the dining room.

  Someone had set the length of the table. Alec took the seat at the head with me at his right and Father at his left. Everyone joined us and that was when I noticed my sisters. Bryn quietly sat beside Father. She didn’t look at me. Instead, she struck up a quiet conversation with Father.

  Blye almost sat beside me, but Egrit stopped her.

  “One seat over, Miss Hovtel.”

  Ila took the seat beside me, and I sighed in relief.

  Mr. Crow, Kara, and Egrit brought the food out. As I’d asked, they had kept it simple. We served ourselves and passed the portions to the next person. Conversation flowed around the table, and it was a relaxing meal...until Ila excused herself for a moment.

  Blye took that as an opportunity to speak to me.

  “Now that you’re Lady Ruhall, you’ll need new dresses. I could stay here and work on them.”

  The horror of the idea certainly had to have shown on my face because the conversation around the table quieted. I looked away and caught Otta glaring at Blye. I wanted to smile at her.

  “No,” Alec said. “You will not make her dresses, and you aren’t welcome to stay here any longer than it takes for you to visit with your father.”

  Blye’s face flushed scarlet, but she said nothing further. Ila returned and eyed the quiet table as she resumed her seat.

  She leaned toward me and softly asked if everything was all right.

  “Yes,” I said, taking a bite of roast.

  “It’s been brought to my attention,” Alec said to Ila, “that Benella is in need of a few more dresses in her role as a Lady. The dress she wears now is beautiful, and I would like to see her have a few more of that quality.”

  I frowned at Alec, not for his snub of my sister, but for asking for additional extravagant dresses.

  “This might be a bit more formal than I will need for every day,” I said diplomatically.

  Ila laughed and patted my hand.

  “Have no worry. I know what kind of dress you like.”

  She did. I smiled at her and turned to Alec.

  “I still prefer my pants,” I whispered.

  He choked a bit on his food and shook his head at me. As we finished, Bryn and Kara collected the empty plates and asked us to remain seated as they excused themselves. When they returned, they carried a large cake.

  “Edmund and I made it for you. A gift to celebrate how sweet life can be. If you let it,” she said quietly.

  My eyes watered. I wasn’t ready to trust her to be my sister, but her gift, her words, and her new consideration of Father gave me hope.

  * * * *

  A tub of water waited in my room when I finally excused myself from the table. I sent a silent word of thanks to Egrit and stripped off my gown.

  The manor was settling in for a quiet evening, and I knew what that meant for me. Nerves coiled in my stomach. By giving me the book, Alec had hoped to ease my fear of the unknown. Though I appreciated his thoughtfulness, the author’s side notes about easing the pain of the first time hadn’t reassured me. I would have preferred to remain ignorant of that part.

  With a shaking hand, I hung the dress in the wardrobe then padded to the water. Steam curled from the surface. I’d no sooner slipped into the water when the connecting doors opened. I jumped slightly and turned to watch Alec enter. His gaze locked onto mine as he slowly closed the door behind him.

  “Will you douse me with water if I watch you?” Though the words were playfully said, his expression remained serious.

  “No, husband, I won’t.” I attempted a smile while trying to calm my stomach.

  He didn’t linger by the door but came to the tub and knelt beside it, watching me as he rolled his sleeves from his corded forearms.

  “Are you afraid?” he asked.

  “Are you?”

  “Very. I’m afraid you’ll run or worse, stay and hate me afterward.”

  Hearing his fears helped ease a few of mine.

  “I won’t hate you, Alec.”

  He looked down and dipped a finger in the water. My pulse leapt because I knew he could see me clearly. Yet, he didn’t reach for me. Instead, he exhaled slowly.

  “You didn’t answer. Are you afraid?”

  “No, not afraid. Very nervous.” I lifted my hand from the water and held it out so he could see my tremble.

  He glanced at my hand, and his expression took on a pained appearance. I reached for his hand and held it.

  “Nerves have never stopped me before,” I said softly.

  He met my gaze, and his lips curved in the barest of smiles.

  “And for that, I am grateful.”

  He stood, keeping hold of my hand. When he gave a gentle tug, I knew he wanted me to rise. My heart beat harder as I rose. His gaze drifted down my torso then back up again.

  “Wife. A lifetime will not be long enough.”

  The warm bath water lapped at my calves as his fingers remained locked around mine. He swallowed hard several times and released my hand. His heated gaze lifted to meet mine as he reached out to trace a finger along the underside of my breast. It took a large amount of effort to keep my breathing steady.

  “Will you promise to tell me if you become frightened?”

  His thumb brushed over my nipple, and I shivered.

  “Yes. I promise.”

  He dipped his head and kissed my shoulder.

  “Do you promise not to run?”

  His lips skimmed my skin from collarbone to the top of my breast. I brought my hands up and dug my fingers in his hair. A small noise escaped me as his breath washed over my nipple.

  “Benella. Do you swear?”

  “I swear.”

  His mouth closed over me. The strong pull sent a tingle to my stomach and further still to the point between my legs. Too quickly, the insistent tug stopped. His lips moved from my nipple, nuzzling me and spreading kisses from one breast to the next before he lifted his head. My hands fell loosely to my sides. His eyes glinted with fervor as he studied me closely, a hungry beast once more.

  He wrapped his hand around mine and helped me step from the tub.

  “Sit on the bed, Benella.”

  My pulse thundered, and my knees felt weak as I turned to do as he asked.

  Sitting, I looked up at him as he unbuttoned his shirt. The bare expanse of his chest claimed my attention as he shrugged the garment off. I exhaled slowly. He knelt before me, and I clenched my hands in my lap to hide the shaking. He reached for them and smoothed a thumb over my knuckles. Our gazes remained locked as he leaned forward and placed a kiss on my knee.

  My breath hitched as I recalled the last time he’d kissed me there. He lifted his head again.

  “Will you give me everything?”

  “Yes.”

  His hold on my hands shifted to my legs. His fingers traced my skin from knee to ankle as he kissed higher up my leg.

  “Lay back.”

  With a blush, I lay back on the bed and opened myself to him. He made a low sound and fitted his torso between my legs.

  The first touch of his tongue made me gasp. My fingers fisted in the covers, and I arched, trying to press myself against him. He set a hand on my stomach to hold me in place as his tongue circled my sensitive nub. A small noise escaped me.

  “My beauty,” he said as he teased me. “My heart.”

  His free hand stroked the inside of my leg, knee to thigh, then teased the hair between my
legs. His tongue distracted me from his intention until his finger probed my opening. I tensed, expecting a painful thrust, but none came. He continued to tease me with his tongue while he idly explored with his fingers.

  After a few moments, I relaxed and lost myself to the sensations of his mouth on me. A familiar need began to build, and I groaned with want. He closed his mouth over my nub and began to suckle. I gasped and twisted my fingers in his hair. He sucked hard and flicked his tongue at the same time he slowly slid a finger into me. The invasion didn’t take away from the tension coiling tighter and tighter inside me. He eased his finger out then back in, and my legs began to tense. My release was close.

  His mouth and hand left me. Dazedly, I opened my eyes. He stood between my legs as he stripped away his pants. Before I had time to worry, he leaned over me and bent his head to my breast. His hot mouth tugged on my nipple as he ran a hand between my legs.

  Something pressed insistently against my opening. He switched to torment my other breast, distracting me from thought, then kissed a trail up to my collarbone. He claimed my lips for a searing kiss before pulling away to look down on me. With both hands braced on the bed, one on each side of me, his heated gaze met mine.

  It took a moment to realize the pressure had remained between my legs.

  “I love you,” he said as he slowly pressed forward.

  A sudden sharp pain had me bracing my hands against his bare chest. He stopped moving and began raining kisses upon my brow.

  “Wait,” he said. “Please, wait. It is a moment of pain for a lifetime of pleasure. I swear.”

  I heard the fear in his voice and held myself still. After a moment, the pain faded.

  Tilting my head back, I found his face so close to mine. His jaw was tense and sweat dotted his skin.

  “It’s better now,” I said.

  He kissed me hard.

  “No, but it soon will be.”

  He reached between us and set his thumb on my sensitive spot. He circled it twice then started to move his hips. I drifted in the pleasure of his touch, reveling in the coiling tension, while I gasped and reached for the release I knew would come.

  With a cry, I found it. He thrust into me several more times before he groaned and stilled. His sweaty chest pressed against me. Between us, he twitched within me.

  “Tell me you don’t hate me.”

  “I don’t hate you. I love you.”

  He kissed me soundly.

  * * * *

  A noise woke me in the middle of the night. When I opened my eyes, I found Rose beside the bed and sat up with a gasp. Panic flooded me while Alec remained undisturbed in his slumber.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  “I’m here to thank you, Benella,” she said, surprising and confusing me. “And to say good-bye. What I set out to do has been done. Alec has found purpose and love. I only hope that someday you’ll forgive me for the lies and manipulations I used to bring you two together.”

  “You’re leaving?” I didn’t trust that I’d understood her correctly.

  She smiled at me.

  “Yes. As I promised. I was only waiting for you to see the truth. A truth I saw within you so long ago when your family first came to this area. The possibility of love—for him.”

  “What do you mean when we first came here? I didn’t meet you until we moved to the Water.”

  She studied me for a moment before answering.

  “I’ve watched over the North for a long time. I knew of you as soon as you entered its boundaries. I’ve watched you since you were young, observed how you overcame each trial life gave you. You are intelligent, determined, courageous, and kind. And I knew once I sent you to the beast, you would find a way to free him. Yet, I worried for you. Your strength was also your weakness. You were too kind. Too willing to sacrifice yourself for those you cared for. I helped you as much as I could while still keeping both of you unaware. Alec had so much to learn; you had so much to teach him.

  “Hold fast to your love for one another, and this life will not disappoint you. You will balance each other well.”

  She turned to go.

  “Wait,” I said, believing she really meant it. Though I still resented the way I’d been used, I also realized, without her manipulations, I wouldn’t have met Alec.

  She stopped and looked back at me.

  I slipped from the bed, unconcerned with my nakedness and crossed the room.

  “I already forgive you. Thank you for sending me here, for bringing me him.”

  Rose surprised me by sniffling.

  “I wanted to spare you but not as much as I wanted you to truly find happiness.” She hugged me tightly.

  “You don’t need to leave.”

  “I do,” she whispered in my ear, “but I will return for the birth of your babes.”

  She pulled away and left the room. I returned to bed, and Alec pulled me close.

  “She’s gone?” he asked, his hand settling over my stomach.

  “For now,” I said.

  Epilogue

  A breeze played with my hair as I sat on the bench in the orchard. Tam glanced at me and gave a nervous smile. I smiled back, trying to reassure him. From somewhere behind us, a sweet soprano rang out in a song about union and love.

  Alec offered his arm and helped me stand. I absently rubbed a hand over the bump of the babe’s foot, currently lodged just below my ribs, while turning to face the back with the rest of those assembled. Egrit walked the path between the apple trees. She wore a green dress Ila had made for her. Delicately embroidered leaves adorned the skirt, and a wreath of real leaves adorned Egrit’s hair. I glanced at Tam wondering if he saw the wood nymph I remembered. Based on the love in his gaze, I decided he saw the nymph and the woman as well.

  Egrit gave me a radiant smile as she passed us on her way to Tam. As soon as the two clasped hands, the short ceremony began. After the Head announced the union between them, I heard Tam breathe “finally” right before pulling Egrit into his arms for a passionate kiss.

  Alec wrapped his arm around me and pulled me tight to his side.

  “I know just how he feels,” he whispered in my ear. “I remember well the moment I realized you were finally mine.”

  I smiled and turned toward him. He was ready with a kiss.

  “None of that now,” Father said from beside me. “This is about Egrit and Tam.”

  I laughed and pulled back to see Tam reluctantly doing the same. The pair waved to the well-wishers and invited everyone to join them inside for dancing and a feast. Most of Konrall was there, and hosting the wedding was our gift to the bride and groom.

  The children on the bench behind us cheered. I turned to grin at Retta, Lettie, Mrs. Palant and her little ones, and the new children who’d joined us over the passing months. Like before, Mrs. Palant kept the young ones busy with light chores in the evening, but mostly they were with us for their education and care. My smile grew bigger as I thought how Father had even started teaching with Mr. Roost, dividing the class to make it more manageable.

  As soon as Tam and Egrit passed us, we stood and followed the newly wedded couple. As we passed by the Kinlyn clan, who were all seated on a bench near the back, I grinned at Ila who sat next to her husband, Henick. He’d found his rainbow in her.

  The walk inside took longer than it should have because of my waddle. My back started to ache, but I kept any sign of discomfort from my face. Regardless, Alec glanced at me continually. He knew.

  “Don’t even consider it,” I warned him.

  “If I carried you—”

  “You’d draw attention to us. This is about Egrit and Tam.”

  He made a slight growling noise, which made me grin.

  “Beast,” I whispered.

  “Beauty,” he said, bending to kiss my cheek.

  I snorted.

  “Only you would think an apple with legs beautiful.”

  He threw his head back and laughed. Then, despite my warnin
g, he scooped me up in his arms.

  “You are hardly an apple, madam.” He stepped aside so the guests could pass us.

  There were no censuring looks, only knowing grins. When Bryn spotted me, she moved to the side to stand with us.

  “Is everything well?” she asked.

  Since our wedding, Bryn had changed considerably. She’d started visiting Father regularly and stopped worrying about her social standing. Instead, she’d focused on her marriage. It was easy to see she and Edmund were truly happy now as Edmund carried little Benard, who babbled and watched the leaves above us.

  “Everything is well. The walk taxes my back,” I said, assuring her.

  Once her selfish nature had disappeared, I’d welcomed her visits as well. Alec hadn’t been as quick to forgive. It was only her genuine concern for the babe and me that had brought him around.

  “And she was too slow,” Alec said with a teasing smile.

  “She’ll slow down more,” Edmund said. “Like a loaf of bread. When the rising slows, it’s done.”

  Bryn made a sound between a laugh and a groan.

  “You would compare pregnancy to a loaf of bread?” She shook her head and laughed when he grinned at her.

  The last of the guests filed past us, and Edmund moved to follow.

  “I’ll take little Benard in and see if we can’t give Kara a hand in the kitchen.”

  While Bryn gave her son and husband a quick kiss, I nudged Alec.

  “Put me down.”

  “Not until we’re inside. You wouldn’t want to tire yourself before we even have a chance to dance, would you?”

  I shook my head and looped my arm around his shoulders as he started to walk behind Edmund. Bryn kept us company.

  “I received a letter from Blye yesterday,” she said.

  “Oh? Has she found a suitable shop, yet?”

  “Yes, she’d found one since her last letter, but I don’t think she’ll be there long. Her mistress doesn’t care for the extravagance of Blye’s creations,” she said with a smile. Recalling Blye’s gown for the feast, I had no doubt Blye’s mistress had valid concerns.

  “She mentioned she wrote Father, too,” Bryn said.

  I nodded, having read the letter as well.

  “Nothing as detailed as you received. Just that she was doing well and sends her love to all of us. How far south is she now?”