The Petrov Proposal

by Maisey Yates

  “I loved my wife,” he said finally. “From the moment I met her. I was eighteen. She was just sixteen. She became my world. For nine years, she was my world. I loved her so much that losing her nearly destroyed me. I know that love is real, because I’ve tasted the loss of it. I know what it’s like for breathing to be physical pain, for it to be harder to live than to give up. That’s the power of love, Maddy.”

  Her stomach hurt. It hurt so much to hear him say that, to know how badly he’d suffered.

  “The power of love sounds dangerous,” she choked.

  “I’m never going through that again,” he said, his voice hard, his dark eyes flat.

  “Well, maybe love is real,” she said softly. “But it seems like it always hurts.”

  “I don’t hurt anymore, Maddy. I don’t let myself feel enough to hurt.”

  Maddy nodded slowly. “I understand that. I’ve lived most of my life that way. The one time I tried…it didn’t end well.”

  “I won’t ever love you. But I won’t lie to you either.”

  The stab of pain in her chest was so sharp, so real, that it shocked her. She ignored it. “That’s all I’ve ever asked of you, Aleksei. All I’ve ever wanted was your honesty.”

  And she had it. Even now, even with her naked and in his bed, he wouldn’t even profess the possibility of loving her. It was what she wanted. What she needed.

  It was.

  “You have that. I promise.”

  She thought about the necklace Aleksei carried with him. The necklace that he’d never finished. “Your wife must have been a really wonderful woman.”

  “Paulina knew me before I had anything. She supported me while I worked toward my crazy dreams. When she died…I was getting there, but she never saw me truly succeed. We were poor for most of our time together. We didn’t have very much. We had a small house.”

  “With weeds in the backyard,” Maddy whispered.

  “Yes,” Aleksei said, his voice thick.

  She had the feeling that if he could trade his empire for that small house again, he would.

  He was right. Love was real. And he’d had it. What could she offer him in the face of that kind of love? She was the girl not even her parents could love.

  It didn’t matter anyway. He was right. Love was real. And it was pain. A pain she wouldn’t put herself through.

  “I really should go back home,” she said, swinging her legs over the side of the bed, careful of her bruise.

  “Do you need a ride?” It hurt that he didn’t ask her to stay.

  “No. I have my car.”

  “I’ll see you on Monday.”

  “You’ll still be here?” she asked. That was all she said, but it wasn’t the only question she had. Were they done? Was this it?

  “Until my work here is finished I won’t be going back to Russia.”

  She hated that they were speaking in code. Even though she’d never promised him the same honesty he’d promised her, she had given it. But now she felt she was keeping something from him. She had a feeling it was the same thing she was trying to hide from herself.

  “I…” Her words caught. She bent down and scooped her clothes off the floor, conscious that he was watching her and she was naked. She didn’t usually feel naked in front of him. But she did now.

  She dressed quickly, not about to duck into the bathroom, even though part of her wanted to. But it was silly. Obviously Aleksei didn’t feel the shift that had taken place in her. He was still lounging on the bed in his towel. She wasn’t about to show him how confused she was. How suddenly everything felt different to her.

  “I’ll see you Monday,” she said softly.

  He didn’t say anything.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  MADDY wasn’t sure what to expect from Aleksei when she came into work on Monday morning. Would he be the cold, brooding stranger he’d been when she’d left his house a couple of days earlier? Or would he be the man who’d bandaged her scraped leg? Would he be the suave lover who had seduced her in his office?

  Maybe each of those men were a part of him. Well, they had to be, she supposed. There were moments, small moments, like when she’d told him about her past, when he seemed to care. Then there were moments where he seemed completely cut off from all emotion.

  Just like she was. Had been? Forget who Aleksei would be today. Who was she?

  She pushed the door to his office open and held out a coffee cup. “I come in peace,” she said, setting it on his desk.

  “I don’t drink coffee,” he said.

  She pulled a face. “Sorry.” She knew that too. He’d told her.

  “Thank you,” he said.

  “For bringing you a drink you don’t even like?”

  “For the thought,” he bit out. “How is everything going with the preparation for the Paris exhibition?”

  “Going well now that we have the scheduling thing handled, thank you by the way, and I have the layout planned and all the decorations purchased.”

  “And how are you?”

  “I’m fine. I don’t think my leg needs to be amputated or anything.” She looked at the lid of her coffee cup.

  “I meant how are you? I was…I did not behave well on Saturday night.”

  “It’s okay. We got…very heavy. It’s good, I think we know we’re on the same page, but maybe we need to keep things in lighter territory.”

  The corners of his mouth lifted, but there was no smile in his eyes. “Maybe.”

  “I’m… Do you want to come over tonight? I don’t cook, but I have take-out restaurants on my speed dial, and I have a very experienced dialing finger.”

  She didn’t have people over very often. Ever. But she didn’t feel strange asking Aleksei to come over. It felt right. It had felt right being at his house, even though she’d been afraid to go at first. Afraid of the intimacy it might add to the relationship.

  “I’ll meet you there after work,” he said.

  “Okay.”

  She still felt a strange distance between them. Like something was missing. And she had no idea what it might be.

  “Can you show me your plans design-wise for Paris?”

  Maddy blinked and tried to bring herself back to reality, tried to get some focus on the task at hand.

  “Sure, I have everything with me.” She took her tablet computer out of her bag and flipped open the case. She moved through the screens quickly and brought up the sketches she’d done of the event. “I wanted to go with sort of a retro feel, but still lavish. It’s like a very upscale soda shop in all black, white and pink. I think the colored gems will really stand out, and it’s a completely different event to what we put on in Luxembourg. Clean lines, very chic, rather than…fairytale chic.”

  Although she’d been kind of fond of the fairytale.

  “And what do you have here?” he asked, pointing to a shaded area of her sketch.

  “Oh, this is the stage. I’ve booked a swing band.”

  “A swing band, huh?”

  “Yes, it’s going to be really fun. That’s kind of the theme. Fun.”

  He laughed softly. “What do you and I know about fun, Maddy?”

  “I thought we’d done a pretty good job of having it over the past week or so,” she said softly, closing the case on her tablet and putting it back in her bag.

  “I suppose we have.” He looked at her, but his expression was distant, like he wasn’t really seeing her.

  She sat down in the chair in front of Aleksei’s desk as he talked guest numbers, security and all the other incidentals that didn’t fall under food, music and decor. She watched Aleksei’s mouth as he talked. He really had a wonderful mouth.

  She cleared her throat and turned her attention back to her notes. She had to keep the sex thing separate from the work thing. She really did.

  “You look tired,” Aleksei said.

  Maddy looked up and saw him staring at her, a crease between his dark brows.

  “Thanks,” she sa
id tartly.

  “Are you getting enough sleep?”

  She thought back to Friday night, the night she’d spent in his bed, and then to the two sleepless nights that had followed. The nights where she’d missed his body. Missed his warmth and his touch.

  “I’m willing to bet that I’m not.”

  He stood from the desk and came to stand behind her, the weight of his hands coming to rest on her shoulders. He swept her ponytail over her shoulder then started kneading her muscles slowly, methodically, sensually.

  “You’re tense too,” he said.

  “Yeah.” She sucked in a breath. “Really, though, if I gave you a massage are you telling me your muscles would be relaxed?”

  “Not at all,” he said, his thumbs working the knots that had been tightening in her muscles over the past couple of weeks. “Maybe you should take some vacation time after this event.”

  Her heart felt like it was going to burst inside of her. The way he spoke to her, so tenderly, so caring. That he noticed she was tired. That her muscles were tight. Of course, he didn’t know he was responsible.

  No, that wasn’t fair. It wasn’t Aleksei’s fault that their fling was becoming a source of anxiety to her. That she missed him all night when they weren’t together. That her emotions were a swirl of confusion.

  He’d offered sex, he’d offered honesty, and she’d taken it. Had convinced him, and herself, that that was all she wanted from him.

  But it wasn’t. It really wasn’t. She wanted more.

  She could have laughed. She’d fancied herself in love with a man who had never done anything but lie and manipulate her. Had fallen for him, because the words had come so easily to him, and he hadn’t hesitated to use them to get exactly what he’d wanted.

  But Aleksei would never say the words. He would never feel them either. Not for her. She didn’t even have a hope. She didn’t even have a lie to cling to.

  But that hadn’t stopped her. It hadn’t kept her from falling in love with him.

  She felt dizzy all of a sudden, her pulse pounding hard in her head. She loved him. Had it only been the other day she’d told him she didn’t believe in love? Had it only been recently that she’d thought love didn’t exist?

  She stood from her seat, slipping away from his hold. She looked at him, at his handsome face, so familiar and…essential now. Her heart seized.

  How had this happened? How had he become everything?

  And what was she going to do when she didn’t have him anymore? Because their arrangement was temporary and no alteration in her feelings would change that. Aleksei had been perfectly honest with her from the start. He wasn’t looking for permanent. Or commitment or anything resembling it.

  She didn’t even blame him for it. How long had she clung to all of her superficial hurt and heartbreak? How long had her own mistakes colored her life?

  What Aleksei had experienced had been so much more. He had lost his wife. He had lost real love, not the illusion of it. She thought she’d known loss, pain, heartbreak. But it was nothing to what Aleksei had experienced.

  She could only stare at him, all words totally frozen in her mind, unable to escape. She just wanted to look at him, memorize every minute detail of his appearance. And at the same time she wanted to turn and run away. To forget about him. To forget that she loved him.

  “I…have to go back to work,” she said.

  He gave her a long look, slight confusion visible in his expression. “I’ll see you tonight,” he said.

  “Actually I can’t do tonight, Aleksei. I have…work.” She couldn’t see him tonight. She couldn’t. She had to process all of this. Figure out what it meant.

  She needed distance. Needed it more than she needed her next breath.

  She left his office and walked through the maze of hallways back into her office. She shut the door behind her and locked it before going to her desk and collapsing into her chair, face in her hands.

  It was only then that she realized what it was she was doing.

  She was running. She was always running. She’d run from her parents, understandable, since she’d been a child. But it was a demon she’d never faced. She’d run from the headlines when the affair had become public.

  She was running from her feelings now.

  How much longer could she run until she’d left everyone and everything behind her that meant anything? Until she collapsed with exhaustion?

  She wasn’t going to find out.

  She was done running.

  This time he wouldn’t call her. No matter how much his body ached, he wouldn’t give in this time. He didn’t play games. She said she’d wanted a purely sexual relationship, and that meant he wasn’t going to fall into any of this female manipulation.

  He’d had mistresses attempt it before. Like Olivia. And they were no longer a part of his life.

  Even as the thought passed through his mind, he rejected it. Never had he thought of Maddy as his mistress. Strange since it was essentially what she was. They had a physical relationship, one with terms laid out nearly as clear as if it had been a business transaction.

  He knew that wasn’t strictly true either. Somewhere between sex on his desk and her sharing all of her deepest, darkest secrets that had changed.

  His cellphone rang and he picked it up from its position on the coffee table. “Yes?”

  “Aleksei.” Madeline’s breathless voice shocked him, sent a surge of desire, and something infinitely more powerful, through his body.

  “What is it? No problems with the planning of the Paris exhibition, are there?”

  “No. Everything’s fine. Well, the business stuff is fine. Can you buzz me up? I’m standing in front of the building.”

  He stood from the couch and walked over to the front door, pressing the button to grant her access.

  “I thought you were busy,” he said.

  “Yes, well…” She trailed off and he could picture the faint flush of pink her cheeks would have, the small smile that told him she’d been caught. “I…I decided I had to see you.”

  There was a small knock at the door and he opened it. And there she was, dressed in sweats and looking more beautiful than any woman had a right to.

  She looked down, then back up at him, her eyes bluer, the emotion in them so deep he had to look away.

  “I had to see you,” she said, her voice strong. “I couldn’t stay away.”

  Her words, so stark and honest, no shame in them, made him feel as though a crack had opened up in the stone wall that was built around his emotions. He gritted his teeth against the sensation, fought against it.

  “Aleks.” She took a step toward him, touched his face with soft, tender hands. There were tears in her eyes now.

  She leaned in to kiss him, her lips so sweet, her touch gentle. She slid her tongue over his lips, then into his mouth, the gentle teasing flicks heating his blood, making it pump faster. Making his heart race.

  Those sweet hands slid from his face to his shoulders, over his chest and down his stomach. Her touch just enough to arouse a longing in him that didn’t feel familiar at all. He couldn’t recall ever feeling such a vast pit of need inside of himself. A need for her body. A need for her. A need that seemed to go beyond words.

  He sucked in a sharp breath when her slender fingers brushed over his erection, still covered by layers of clothing.

  She looked up at him as she stroked him, her eyes meeting his, the expression there fathomless, intense. She was making love to him. The realization hit hard. Made the dam burst. A tide of sensation flooded through him and he was powerless to do anything to stop it.

  “No,” he growled, not realizing he’d said it out loud until after he’d spoken.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Too slow,” he said, taking her hands in his, capturing her slender wrists in one of his hands and holding them still while he claimed her mouth.

  His kiss wasn’t tender. It wasn’t exploratory. It was fire, intensity
. He poured out every ounce of frustration, every ounce of need that would have to go unmet, into that one kiss.

  When he pulled away Maddy’s eyes were round, her pink lips swollen, the color in her cheeks dark and prominent. He touched where her lips were puffy from the kiss, running his thumb gently over her reddened skin before leaning in to kiss her again.

  She didn’t protest. She returned his kiss. The energy coming from her was electric, vibrating through him. Challenging him.

  “Bed,” he grated against her lips.

  “Mmm.”

  He scooped her up and carried her the short distance into his bedroom before setting her feet gingerly back onto the floor. She pulled her top over her head, dispensing with her bra with equal speed. He worked on his own clothes while she finished undressing.

  And then she was back in his arms, soft and gloriously naked.

  He cupped her tight butt with one hand, a feeling of possession rolling through him, making his pulse throb, making him ache with a need so fierce it surpassed the sexual.

  No. It didn’t. This was only sex. Good sex. But only sex.

  He wrapped his arm around her waist and gently lowered her onto the bed. He needed to prove it. He needed to wipe every shred of feeling away. Needed the hot rush of satisfaction to remind him that this was only physical.

  He drew one of her taut nipples into his mouth and exulted in the purely sexual sound that escaped Maddy’s lips. She arched beneath him as he moved his fingers lightly down her belly and in between her thighs, discovering just how wet and ready she was for him.

  He stroked her, calling another sound of need from her body, drawn tight as a bowstring beneath his hand. He moved his thumb over the sensitive bundle of nerves and slipped a finger deep inside of her.

  Her hands went to his back, fingernails digging into his flesh.

  He looked at her face, her skin flushed pink, her eyes closed, her lips parted. Seeing her so caught up in her pleasure, the pleasure he was giving her, felt like a physical kick to the stomach. Never had he seen a more beautiful sight than Maddy in the midst of such abandon.

  He’d had her in his bed a few times now, but never had he seen her like this. So lost in the experience, all of her barriers down.