Kinky Claus

by Jodi Redford

  He stroked her hair. “I do. I’ll stop acting like a jackass now.”

  She grinned. “I dunno. You’re kind of adorable when you’re all huffy and indignant.”

  He spanked her ass, making her squeal in mock outrage. “There’s more where that came from if you call me adorable again.” Securing the condom on his softening cock with one hand, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and headed to the bathroom. After disposing of the rubber, he washed up in the sink. Midway through his rinse, he recalled his promise to Jane. Shit.

  Feeling like a huge dope, he returned to the bedroom and offered Marissa a sheepish look. “Please don’t kick my ass, but I forgot I’m supposed to spend the afternoon with my sister.”

  “Your ass is too mouthwatering to inflict with bruises.” She sat up and hugged her knees to her chest. “Besides, I’m glad you’re spending time with Jane. She’s been really mopey lately, and it’s important that she knows her family and friends are there for her.”

  “You think my ass is mouthwatering, eh?”

  She rolled her eyes. “I knew you were going to fixate on that.”

  “What, like how you’ve been fixating on my mouthwatering ass?”

  “I’m already regretting telling you that.”

  Grinning, he climbed on the bed and pinned her beneath him. “I’d say I’ll start behaving, but I think you like me better when I’m not.”

  Her eyes sparkled. “You might be right.”

  “Then you’re really gonna like me in five seconds.” He buried his face in her neck, basking in her sweet sigh of pleasure.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Jane yanked opened the door to her condo on his second doorbell ring and snatched the bag of bagels from his grip.

  Snorting, he stepped inside the entry and secured the door behind him before following her into the kitchen. “Nice to see where I rank in this relationship.”

  “I’m hungry. You were supposed to be here fifteen minutes ago. It’s a miracle I didn’t resort to eating those gross health bars mom sent me.” She offered a quick hug and then grabbed two plates from the cupboard and a butter knife. After ripping open one of the packets of cream cheese, she slathered her bagel with the topping and took a huge bite. Chewing, she eyed him shrewdly. “You smell like a Victoria’s Secret store.”

  Aw crap. He’d used Marissa’s shower gel without thinking it could possibly bust him. “I accidentally bought the wrong soap.”

  “Uh huh.” Jane licked a glob of cream cheese from her finger. “You know, if you’d put half the effort into your classes as you do scoring tail, you would have had your degree by now.”

  “One has nothing to do with the other. And you know damn well it was—and still is—a money issue. So stop judging me.”

  “I’m not.” She waved the bagel dramatically. “For fuck’s sake, I’m the last person to take the moral high road. But it makes me sad and furious that you’re wasting your talent.”

  “Yeah, you’re not getting judgmental at all.” His jaw rigid, he took out his frustration by hacking into his bagel with the dull-edged knife.

  “I just want the best for you. I guess that makes me a bitch for caring.”

  “You can care without having to constantly tell me what you think I should do with my life.”

  “Duly noted.” She waited two beats. “Would this be a bad time to mention I could probably get you an interview with my boss?”

  “Damn it, I’ve told you a million times I have zero interest in working there.” For starters, he couldn’t imagine spending that much time around Jane without the aid of heavy medication. Then there was the small matter that he wouldn’t further his dream of making a stable career with his graphic design background by logging nine to five for a data entry firm.

  “The benefits are good. And you get this newfangled thing called direct deposit instead of crumpled dollar bills that have probably been around more wieners than Oscar Mayer.”

  “Jane.”

  She tossed up her hands. “Fine. But the offer is always open.”

  They wrapped up their breakfast in mutual grumpy silence. He did the helpful brother thing by taking her garbage out to the community bins at the corner of her street. When he returned Jane was zipping up her boots. She tugged the cuff of her jeans down and stood. “I thought it’d be a nice day to check out Canterbury Village. You game?”

  “Sure. Haven’t been there in ages.” He tossed her a grin. “Just don’t ask me to ride the carousel with you.”

  “Party pooper.” She fetched her coat from the entryway closet and led the way out the door.

  The drive to the expressway took them past Marissa’s subdivision. Trig did his best to tune out the erotic memory of her nails digging into his back while he fucked her underneath the warm spray of the showerhead. He hadn’t noticed until afterwards that it was one of those handheld numbers with different massage settings. He’d be putting that to better use later tonight.

  Jane drummed her fingers on her armrest. “I’d say we should swing by and kidnap Marissa for the day but she’s probably going to be busy sexifying herself for her boy toy.”

  He choked on a cough and slashed a look toward his sister. “What?”

  “Her date for her office party thing.”

  He cleared his throat. “I thought she wasn’t going with anyone.”

  “Apparently not the case.” Jane leaned forward and fiddled with the radio stations without asking if it was okay to do so, naturally. He waited for her to elaborate on her cryptic comment but she remained stubbornly uninterested in continuing the conversation.

  Exactly how much did she know? Not that he would put it past his sister to test him by withholding just enough information to catch him in a lie, but he highly doubted Marissa would have spilled the beans on the identity of her date.

  To be honest, it’d be no skin off his back if Jane knew about him and Marissa. Hell, his sister had a history with his best friend, so Jane couldn’t say jack. No pun intended. But he’d leave it up to Marissa whether or not to say anything since she was the one uncomfortable about it. And if they did tell Jane, they’d have to come up with a good story for how it all came about. Because the last thing he needed was her throwing a conniption fit about the escorting gig—and that’d be nothing compared to the colossal explosion that’d erupt if she discovered who he worked for.

  Fuck, they’d probably need to call in the National Guard to contain the epic batshit craziness Jane would unleash. Shuddering, he clicked his blinker and sped up the freeway on ramp.

  Roughly half an hour later he pulled into the crowded parking lot of the popular holiday-themed shopping village and scanned for an available spot. They lucked out when a minivan vacated a prime space near the main pedestrian bridge. Snagging it before someone could beat him to it, Trig parked and waited an additional few minutes for Jane to finish primping. Before he officially lost his damn mind, she finally shoved her brush back into her purse and hopped out of the car. Hitting the locks with a grumble, he followed her to the walkway.

  They hit the big Christmas decoration store first. He found a snow angel ornament that reminded him of Marissa, as well as a giant blowup candy cane that he couldn’t resist buying. Jane grimaced while she paid for her purchases. “I don’t even want to know what you’re going to use that for.”

  “Just this.” Bopping her on the head, he nudged her out the exit.

  “Oh look, the carousel.”

  He groaned. “Don’t get any ideas.”

  “I’ll let you ride the giraffe this time. But only if you beat me to the door.” She took off running for the small glass-enclosed building at the end of the brick path. Shaking his head, he traipsed after her. He snuck through the door before it closed behind her. She gave him a pouty look. “You didn’t even try.”

  “Because I want to ride the elephant instead.”

  “Freak.” Winding her scarf around her neck, she shuffled forward. She stiffened, and he followed her gaze
to the short queue in front of the carousel. His gaze landed on Jack.

  Aw shit.

  Oblivious of the stares pinned on him, Jack stooped and whispered something in his daughter’s ear. Sunny responded with a clap and an excited squeal. Trig glanced at Jane and noticed she was eyeing the pair with rapt curiosity. The attendant waved the riders through the small gate, and Trig prodded a finger between Jane’s shoulder blades. She remained un-budging.

  “The giraffe is calling your name.”

  “I’ve changed my mind.”

  “Sis, don’t be a—” He killed the remainder of his reproachful retort when he spied the uncertainty on Jane’s face. There was obviously more going on with her than her typical stubbornness. In fact, he couldn’t remember ever seeing his sister display the slightest bit of timidity. It was unsettling, to say the least. Akin to if he’d spotted Santa strolling around clean-shaven and wearing nothing but a jockstrap.

  An image he really didn’t want in his head at the moment.

  “C’mon. Just one ride. I know you want to do it.” He put his arm around her. “We don’t have to sit anywhere near him.”

  “This has nothing to do with him. I just realized it’s probably not a good idea to go on there right after I ate that bagel.”

  “It’s been an hour. And that rule only applies to swimming.”

  Growling under her breath, she stalked toward the gate. He expected her to choose the available seats in the very back. Instead she surprised him by plopping her butt onto the twin bench directly adjacent to Jack and Sunny. Fairly certain this was going to be the longest carousel ride of his life, Trig sucked in a deep breath and sat next to his sister. He nodded in greeting to Jack’s bemused frown. “Whassup, guys?”

  Sunny flashed her pearly whites and bounced in her saddle. “I gets to ride a unicorn.”

  “Honey, stop doing that or you’re going to fall,” Jack said distractedly as he stared at Jane.

  “But daddy, we’re not moving.” The second she pointed that out, the carousel began rotating with a grinding lurch. Sunny started to slip to the side, and Jack quickly saved her from tumbling onto her noggin. She giggled. “That was fun!”

  “No, it wasn’t. Hold on to the pole like this, okay, Sunny Bunny?” Jack demonstrated the proper technique for not falling off a unicorn and ending up in the ER.

  “Okay, daddy.”

  Anchoring his daughter in place with his arm, Jack cleared his throat. “What brings you two out this way?”

  Jane remained mulishly quiet, so Trig had no choice but to do the talking. “Jane was in the mood for some shopping.”

  “Yeah? Buy anything?”

  Jane held up her two bags with a pointed stare directed at Jack. And there was the lovable bitchy sister he was used to.

  “Daddy, who is that lady?”

  Jack tugged Sunny’s pony tail. “She’s Trig’s sister.”

  “Oh. What’s her name?”

  “Honey, she’s sitting right there. You can ask her.”

  Sunny wiggled in her seat. “Hey, lady. What’s your name?”

  Trig bit back a chuckle. Both at Sunny’s guileless charm and Jane’s deer-trapped-in-headlights expression. His sister was never at a loss for words. The fact that a five-year old managed to leave her tongue-tied was funnier than shit.

  “Jane,” she stammered. “My name’s Jane.”

  “Mine is Sunny.”

  Jane gave an awkward wave. “Hi Sunny.”

  “This is my daddy. He doesn’t get to play with Skipper.”

  “Okaaaay.” Jane lifted her focus to Jack.

  He scratched the back of his head. “It’s a doll.”

  “No, she’s a Barbie.” Sunny peered at her father like he might possibly be an imbecile.

  That cracked a grin from Jane. “Boys are so clueless, aren’t they?”

  Jack’s eyes narrowed and Jane smiled at him sweetly.

  The carousel made two more laps and then slowly came to a stop. Sunny drummed her feet against the unicorn’s belly. “One more time.”

  “No. We have to drop you off at Mommy’s in twenty minutes.”

  Sunny sniffled.

  “Faker.” Jack swung his daughter down from her ride and steered her toward the debarking ramp. “Say goodbye to Trig and Jane.”

  Sunny did as told and skipped toward the gate, apparently over her pity fest. Trig slapped his best friend on the shoulder. “See ya around.”

  Jack nodded and glanced at Jane. Trig waited for them to exchange words or possibly grab some of the nearby Christmas ornaments and lob them at each other’s heads. Instead Jack grunted and ambled after his kid while Jane gave a half-hearted attempt at searing his backside with a death glare.

  On the bright side, no actual blood shed occurred. Maybe there was hope for them yet.

  Snickering at that insane thought, Trig slipped his arm around Jane’s waist. “See, that wasn’t so bad.”

  “Bite me.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Marissa spritzed a tiny bit of her favorite scent in her cleavage and fastened her choker in place. Stepping away from the dresser mirror, she inspected her reflection. She had to admit, the dress made her feel incredibly sexy. Of course, that could also have something to do with the perpetual state of horniness Trig effortlessly kept her suspended in.

  She hadn’t been able to get him out of her mind all day. Just knowing she was going to see, smell, and touch him soon filled her with giddy excitement. And having him to herself for an entire week? It was the best present Santa could have brought her.

  Or maybe she should say the best present Kinky Claus could have pulled out of his sack of goodies.

  Her goofy grin slowly faded with the stern reminder that this week with him was only due in part to him having the time off to do it. She couldn’t get in over her head with absurd fantasies of him being an actual real boyfriend. She might not be paying him beyond tonight, but that didn’t mean they were going to suddenly shack up together and invest in his-and-hers towels and all of those other things that couples did. He’d made it very clear that he preferred an unattached lifestyle. And she even understood why. The last thing she wanted to do was become too emotional and clingy.

  That’s why she had to proceed with extreme caution here. Have fun and enjoy him, and above all else, not let on that he’d steadily crept into her heart.

  She sat on the edge of the bed and slipped her new high heels on before making the trip to the living room. The Christmas tree lights offered enough illumination that she decided to forego leaving a lamp on.

  The doorbell chimed, and her pulse danced a tiny jig. Hauling in a deep breath, she counted to five and exhaled slowly. Smoothing a hand over her tummy, she went to unlock the door. All moisture evaporated from her mouth at her first glimpse of Trig.

  He was so insanely gorgeous, she wanted to pinch herself to ensure she wasn’t hallucinating. He wore an impeccably tailored dark navy suit with a crisp white shirt that showed off his tan. His scruff was gone and his ink black hair gelled and a little spiky.

  Forget about pinching herself. She wanted to lick him from head to toe.

  It took several beats to realize that while she’d been standing there staring at him like an idiot, he hadn’t moved an inch from his spot on the stoop. With infinite laziness, he raked his smoky gaze from her upswept hair all the way down to her heels and back again, lingering for an endless moment on the swell of her breasts. He dragged his focus upward and looked her in the eyes. “Goddamn, baby.”

  It was amazing how two simple words could pack such a powerful punch. Her face hurting from her surely dopey smile, she reached for his hand. Twining his fingers with hers, he crossed the threshold and pulled her into his arms. His free hand molding to her butt, he ducked his head and crashed his mouth over hers.

  The kiss was an intense firestorm threatening to consume her in its wicked flames. His tongue parried with hers before thrusting deep, claiming complete possession of her senses. She
clung to him weakly and murmured in protest when he slid his mouth from hers. Still holding her gaze, he closed the door behind them. “That is definitely not the dress you bought the other night.”

  “Your sister loaned it to me.”

  “This entirely redeems her being a brat earlier.”

  “Uh oh. What happened?”

  “Just Jane being Jane.” He squeezed her ass. “I don’t want to talk about my sister. Not when I’m visualizing all the dirty things I’m gonna enjoy doing with you.”

  She sighed. “I’m afraid they’ll have to wait until after the party.”

  “Not necessarily.” His expression one hundred degrees of sin, he dug inside the interior pocket of his suit jacket. “Fortunately I had enough time to stop by my favorite shop on the way over. I got you something to make the evening fun and interesting.”

  “You did?”

  “Yep.” He held out his hand, revealing the small pink bullet vibe nestled in his palm.

  “It’s almost exactly like the one I have.”

  “With the added benefit of this.” He showed her the accompanying remote. She tried to pluck the device from his grasp but he calmly stuffed it inside his pocket, his eyes glinting with devilish mischief. He buttoned his jacket. “I’ll be in control tonight.”

  The way he said that sent decadent shivers skating down her spine. He knelt on one knee in front of her. “Be a good girl and hike up your skirt.”

  Trembling, she did as instructed. He propped her heel on his knee and caressed her stocking-clad inner thigh before tracing a finger along her garter. “Fucking sexy.” Hooking his thumbs in the elastic of her G string, he eased the tiny scrap of silk down. He kissed her mound and pushed the vibe up inside her pussy, aligning it with her G spot. After tugging her panties back in place, he licked his fingers and winked at her.

  “I can’t believe I’m going along with this.” She gave him a pleading look as he stood. “At least give me some warning when you’re going to turn it on.”

  “Where’s the fun in that?”

  Groaning, she accepted his assistance with her coat. He was right about one thing. This night would definitely be interesting. And torturous.