Missed Connection

by K Larsen

  “Ty, I would never leave,” I whisper and lean in to kiss his cheek.

  “Give me your other dog,” he says smiling. I laugh.

  “You call feet, dogs?”

  “What do you call them, piggies? I guess dogs doesn’t work for these tender little things. He lathers up the other foot and I angle myself so that I can lean back against the wall.

  “This is the most decadent foreplay I’ve ever had; it feels like a sacrament.”

  “Oh, no, Jess, we haven’t even begun that part yet.

  Anticipation gives me shivers and I close my eyes again at the rich pressure he’s kneading into my arch. This time, he applies gentle pressure to my ankle, up my calf and ever so softly, his fingers slide up over my knee and down my thigh.

  “I’d like to get you out of this dress.”

  I cross my arms, reach down to where it’s gathered above my knees, I lift my butt momentarily and pull the dress over my head. I toss it onto the floor and lean back in my spot again.

  “Should I hang it up?”

  “No, you should take me to bed.”

  Ty uses the drinking glass to pour water down my legs. The sensation is pure velvet slipping over the soft skin. He pulls a fluffy white towel down from the rack and pats them dry, without ever looking at them. Instead, his eyes roam all over my body, my breasts, my stomach and down lower.

  “I don’t want to say this too much, but you are stunning. Even more beautiful than the first night I met you, time has done nothing more than polish the diamond that you are.”

  “I think the same of you. You’re even more attractive now; it almost makes me afraid to touch you.”

  “If you like it, it’s all yours.”

  With that, he wraps both arms around my back, lifts me abruptly until I’m straddling his waist. I hook my ankles behind him and sink into the deep kiss that he’s offering. He carries me into the bedroom and lets me fall gently to the bed. I hear the zip of his pants and my heart starts pumping. He strips down to his boxers in mere seconds and is suddenly before me in all of his glory. Ty is fit, beautifully shaped and proportioned like an athlete.

  I quiver at my need for his body and my simultaneous modesty. I’m insecure when it comes to prowess in the bedroom. I’ve only ever had one lover and he was not a generous or enthusiastic one. We had sex out of what felt like obligation. John made me feel frigid and undesirable, like a failure in bed when it came to love making.

  “I’m kind of nervous, Titan.”

  He lowers himself onto the bed beside me and hugs me in close, caressing my hair.

  “We don’t have to do anything besides cuddle, if you don’t want to.”

  That’s not what I want at all. I want him to take me. I can think of nothing but him thrusting deep inside me. Arching into his kiss, I wriggle in closer to him and make my body flush with his. I’m nervous because I’m inexperienced. John and I hadn’t had sex in ages, I’ve only ever had one partner and it never felt like lovemaking. Ty has probably had some vixens in bed, girls that are younger and daring, willing to do crazy positions and aren’t scared of anything.

  “I’m nervous because I feel like an amateur. I don’t know what you’re used to or what you like and I haven’t experienced many things.”

  “I’ll let you know if you ever do something I don’t like, but I can tell you right now, that I’m doubtful that will happen.” Ty takes my hand and lowers it to his boxers, he lays my palm right on top of his huge, rock-solid erection.

  His cock feels so incredible, that I roll my body on top of his, I sit up to straddle him with my panty covered groin even with his penis. His hands come around my back and he unclips my bra. I toss it to the floor and begin to move slowly on top of him. He cups my breasts and then thumbs my light pink nipples into tortured points of reception. Ty’s hands fall to my hips and begins to control my movements, sliding his cock back and forth suggestively against the apex of my soaking wet panties.

  “I want to taste you, Jesenia. Will you let me?”

  I take a deep breath and nod. He pulls me down onto his chest and rewards me with a deep kiss, simultaneously slipping his thumbs into the elastic and sliding my panties off. I sit up and pull them down over my ankles and my very clean feet. I toss them onto the floor and turn my attention back to Ty who has also stripped down to nothing.

  His chest is strong, his stomach flat, he’s got shoulders like a linebacker and a cock like nothing I’ve ever seen before. My mind is blank, devoid of words or even thoughts. I take in his body like a child looking at an amusement park. So many place to explore, so many new things to try, I don’t know where to start. Ty grabs my hand again and puts it directly on his hardness. I squeeze and loosely grip my fingers around the thick girth, moving them up and down slowly, I simulate what I’d like to do with another part of my body. Ty’s hand covers mine and he moves it faster and squeezes harder.

  He grabs me and kisses me ruthlessly, his stubble gnashing into my soft chin and cheeks and his tongue probing deep into our kiss. It’s a kiss of desperation because our bodies can’t catch up to how far our hearts have fallen. I whimper out loud. He pulls me into his chest and flips me under him so that now he’s on top. I stare up at the ceiling of the cabin, the knobby logs so neatly fit together and the reddish mortar in between that keeps the cold rain and wind out. He spreads my legs using his knees, then with an arm on either side of me, he leans down and sucks my erect nipple into his mouth. I arch my back in response and grind my hips into his erection.

  Ty kisses my belly and dips his tongue into the button, his fingers toy with my nipples making me wetter and wetter between my legs. He’s slowly moving south and I’m delirious with anticipation. His face hovers just at the top of my thigh. He caresses me once through my folds and I jerk in response. His fingers slide right into me and I’m so sensitive, I cry out in pleasure. Then he lowers his mouth to my sex and his tongue melts into my flesh. His fingers slide in and out of me gently, as he teases my clit into torturously pleasurable agony. I’m breathing fast and rotating my hips, even though I’m consciously trying not to.

  He inserts another finger, making the penetration tighter. It feels like he’s hooking his fingers and a foreign sensation arises in the base of my spine. My body is aching, my muscles contracting and pressure keeps building deep inside.

  “Oh, God, please stop. I’m going to come already.” I say reaching down to his head.

  “Perfect,” he says and then, “I love how wet you are for me.”

  My muscles bear down and my back arches in a bow. Ty reaches up and pinches my nipples hard and the orgasm crashes over me like a crescendo. I scream. I grab his head. I grind shamelessly into his mouth. He gently fucks me with his tongue until I ride the orgasm out.

  I’ve never been so verbal, so enraptured or turned on. Ty’s face in between my legs is the sexiest thing I’ve ever done. He’s still lazily thrusting his tongue gently in and out of my overly-sensitized flesh, while tremors and aftershocks of the orgasm run up and down my spine, tickling my back.

  When Ty finally withdraws and sits up on the bed, his erection is so engorged it’s pressed into his belly. I stare, openly, fascinated with his virility. He wipes his glistening mouth with the back of his hand.

  “Do you like what you see?” It comes out hoarse and sinfully sexy, suddenly I’m mortified about my skills in the blowjob department.

  I nod my head and bite my lip and gaze into his smoldering eyes.

  “You, like this—on my bed, messy hair, glazed eyes, swollen lips, and yes, I mean both sets, red marks on your skin from where I touched you—this is a vision I’m never going to let leave my head.”

  “I’ve never come like that, Ty. Ever. Not in my life before you.”

  “There will be more, as many as I can coax out of you. I want you coming and saying my name because it’s all you can think of when your body feels that way.”

  “Let me take care of you,” I say, nodding to his swollen cock t
hat is leading pre-cum at the tip.

  “Let’s save it for round two, the kids could be here any second.”

  “I’ll be fast, I promise. We can go into the bathroom.”

  “I can take care of myself in the shower—no problem. Anyway I’m used to it,” he says, tossing me my bra and panties.

  “No, please, let me try. I really want to.”

  “If you insist,” he says smiling. He starts stroking his big hand up and down his erection. I salivate at the size and at such a potent hardness. He’s engorged and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so gorgeous.

  He steps off of the bed and walks up to me by the pillows. He’s stroking himself gently the whole time and looking at me with intensity. Instead of letting me take charge, Tyson reaches for the back of my neck and pulls me up close to him. He gently grabs a fistful of my hair and guides my mouth to the head that is now drenched in precum. I lick it off and the taste of him melts on my tongue, a heady intoxication invades all of my senses. With a light pressure he pushes me down on his cock and as I slide down, my lips encounter every bulging vein, texture and color of him. He’s big, but I’m confident I can handle it. I love his assertion, how he yanks and pushes to help me find the right rhythm.

  “Jesus. That’s fucking good.” I peek up at his face and his head has fallen back in enjoyment. His muscles are tense and his spread leg stance is strong. He thrusts his hips forward carefully when I reach the peak of how far I can go. I reach out to tug and squeeze his balls. He runs his fingers through my hair and pinches my nipples.

  “Jess, Baby, I’m close,” he says.

  I bob my head faster and add suction and pressure. I love how he strokes his hips more freely as he gets close. He’s lost his restraint and with it, the pretense of treating me like I’m delicate. His breath comes faster and he thrusts hard into my mouth. I angle my head so that he has better access to my throat.

  I’ve never wanted to give a good blow job before, the thought of it nauseated me and I’d avoid it all costs. But with Ty, I know that I would do anything to bring him pleasure. To see him let go is the greatest gift I can imagine.

  “I’m coming!” Ty says and he withdraws from my mouth. His strong hands stroke his length rhythmically like he’s milking his cock. I open my mouth to catch his semen, but Ty just takes my hand and adds it to the pressure he’s already applying.

  “I would swallow for you, Ty,” I say tentatively. It sounds forward, considering how truly little we know of each other.

  “I know, Baby. Next time,” he says.

  I move into the center of the giant cushy bed. I pat the spot beside me and Ty drops in, exhausted. He reaches his bear arms around me and pulls me to his chest. Less than two minutes later, his breaths even out and he’s sound asleep on his back.

  I can still taste her. She’s gone back to her room and I feel cold and let down but what else could I do? Her creamy skin laid bare to me was better than any fantasy I could have ever envisioned. All that silken hair spread over the pillow was enticing. Those freckles across her shoulders, her collarbone. I groan and turn the shower on. Cold. She’s made me feel intoxicated to the point of never wanting to be sober again. The feel of her lips on me; sucking, pumping, licking was euphoric.

  Her moans were the most religious thing I’ve experienced. The way her back bowed as she came, set my core on fire. I want to feel myself inside her. I need to be with her—more than we were. I crave it. She awakened something inside me that has been long dormant. I dread leaving tomorrow. Not seeing her face in the morning, the afternoon and at night. I step into the shower and try not to yelp at the cold water. The icy deluge does little to quell the need I still feel but it’s better than nothing.

  After stepping out, I towel dry my head then wrap it around my waist. I wipe my palm over the mirror to clear the fog. My reflection shows a healthy looking man. A man with a deep contentment—an obvious contentment glow. A man with a future. It doesn’t show the ache in my right side. It doesn’t show the constant metallic taste in my mouth. It doesn’t show my viral load or scarring or stigmas. I punch the mirror and watch as the glass splinters and falls into the sink. Blood trickles from my knuckles but it doesn’t hurt. Or maybe I’m just too upset to feel the pain. I run the water and stick my hand under the flow. Blood tinges the sink pink before washing away. I look in the vanity for Band-Aids but can’t find any, so I wrap my hand in toilet paper. It won’t clot for a while. I’ll need more toilet paper. I make sure the blood is all cleaned up. I pull on my boxers and toss my towel over the shower rod.

  I flop into my bed and yank the covers up over me, fluff my pillow and roll to my side. The moon is barely a half moon but it seems to light up the entire world. Like Jess is lighting up mine. I don’t want it to be over. I don’t want to wait any longer. I don’t want real life and truths and fears to infiltrate what we’ve just barely started. I shove the covers off me and fumble around in the dark for my pajama pants and a thermal shirt. Next, I slip on my sneakers and blow through the cabin door and down the path to the dock. I don’t sit. I can’t. I walk right out to the end and stop. It’s fucking cold out here. I need to just come out and talk to her. It is completely selfish of me to not tell her.

  Without thinking, I strip my shirt off and let it drop to the dock, followed by my pajama bottoms. I toe off my sneakers. The water is calling to me. It’s calm and I need calm. It’s clear and I need clarity. It’s still and I need stillness. I dive in and all my breath leaves me. The frigid water steals all the feeling from my body. Numb.

  My head breaks through the surface and I gasp. It’s so cold.

  “Dad!” Luke screams from the shore. He’s running—sprinting, actually. I swim to the dock edge and pull myself up.

  “I’m okay,” I wheeze.

  “What the fuck! Are you insane? What are you doing?” His comments ramble out without thought. I’ve scared him.

  “I’m sorry, Luke. I’m sorry. I’m alright.”

  He picks up my shirt and pants and pulls on my arm. His frown is epic and the look of concern kills me. “Come on, Dad. Let’s just get in the cabin where it’s warm.”

  I nod, stand and let him keep hold of my arm as we walk back up to our cabin. I let him rekindle the fire while I towel dry. I get my pajamas back on and sit in an oversized chair by the fire. We’re silent. There aren’t the right words to express what we’re each thinking—experiencing. Luke sits between my legs and puts his head on my knee, like he did when he was a little boy. I palm his head with my uninjured hand. And we both fall asleep that way.

  I wake with a cramp in my neck. Sleeping in a chair seemed like a decent idea in the moment, but now, not so much. Luke is curled up on the rug at my feet. I let out a sigh and stretch. My cut knuckles have finally clotted but they’re sore. I push up and step over Luke. I push the heels of my hands over my eyes and rub the sleep away. It’s overcast outside. It’s okay though, the grey clouds suit my mood. I fill the coffee maker with water and get the brewing started. There’s a quiet knock at the door. I tiptoe to it and crack it open.

  “Jess,” I whisper. She motions for me to come out onto the porch, so I do.

  “I felt bad leaving when you were sleeping.” She looks like she barely slept.

  I reach out and pull her into my chest. “Don’t be. Sorry I fell asleep. I was tired.” Her arms squeeze my waist fiercely.

  “I don’t want to go home, Ty.” Her voice changes pitch and I know that she’s close to crying.

  “I don’t either, unless you’re coming with me,” I admit.

  She sniffles once. “If we leave here, the magic will be gone.”

  “Real life can be just as good if we try to make it,” I murmur into the crown of her head. She pulls back and looks up at me. Her eyes are full of torture, fear. I hate that.

  “Ty,” she starts. I bring my hand up and place my fingers over her mouth to silence her.

  “Come home with me. Stay one more night. You can’t drive all
the way back on a spare tire. We’ll get it replaced. You can drive home Monday.” She smiles and wraps her fingers around my hand.

  “What happened?!” she gasps, getting a good look at my knuckles. I pull my hand from hers and look to the lake, willing it to give me a good answer for her. It doesn’t. I turn my attention back to Jess.

  “Say you’ll come home with me today, stay the night and we can talk all about it.” I lean down until our faces are a mere inch from each other’s. “Please.” I kiss her lips gently, then more forcefully before pulling away and resting my forehead on hers. We need just a little more time.

  “Okay,” she says. I exhale a breath of relief. We just got a little more time and tonight, I’m going to show her just how much I need her. I’m going to give her everything she wants.

  All of me.

  I leave a distraught Titan to shower and wake up Luke. I told Angie I’d meet her in the dining hall and I find her at a table by the big windows, with a huge carafe of coffee and a basket of pastries.

  “Hi, Sweetie, are you only having carbs?” I pull out a chair and sit facing the stunning view, a sight I feel unready to say goodbye to.

  “I ordered a Swiss cheese omelet, it should be here in a minute. Did you want me to get another menu or do you know what you want already.”

  “I’ll just have the same. Can you pass me the coffee?”

  “How’d things go with Mr. Black Coffee? You seem a little off?”

  I can’t help but think of his bloody, swollen hand in contrast to how beautifully things flowed last night, how natural it felt to be in his arms. How we ran down the path, how he cleaned my feet and eventually, how we gave one another a little taste of ecstasy.

  “Things couldn’t be better, that’s why I feel so awful.” I pour the steaming coffee into the mug bearing the insignia of the lodge. I add a little milk and drop in two cubes of sugar with the tongs.

  “Why, because you didn’t tell him about your glitches? I’m thinking we should do a show on rustic touches for the season, like hanging dry herbs and fall themed wreaths and centerpieces, maybe one of our, switch out five things, to get a rustic feeling for the season?”