It's Just Love, Not a Time Bomb

by Dawn Martens

  “Coming!” I shout as I step out of my room. It’s my first day of high school, so I’m nervous, but I’m lucky that most of my friends will be at school with me. I am so excited to show off my new hair and new clothes. My style is what some might call eclectic; realizing as I look over my outfit in the hall mirror, making sure everything is in place. This blue and white striped V-neck shirt looks great with my just-above-the-knee plaid skirt, and finished with my Pixie Zebrastarz DC skate shoes.

  “Wow, Alix, you look beautiful,” Mom says to me, smiling as I come down the stairs. She took me yesterday to get my hair done at the local salon. I begged and begged for her to let me surprise her, and let me do what I wanted with my hair. After she said okay, I looked at Laura and told her what I wanted.

  She gave me a hard time at first, saying my mom would kill her, but I wouldn’t let her touch my hair until she agreed to what I wanted. When my mom showed up afterwards to pick me up, she was shocked. At the look on her face, I thought her head was gonna blow right off, but instead, she shocked me, saying she thought I was stunning. Dad, on the other hand, said I looked like a freak, but a cute one. It made me giggle. Dad always makes me laugh with his off-handed compliments.

  Laura did my hair up with dark green and purple streaks. It’s more of a peek-a-boo style. If I wear my hair in big heavy curls, it shows more, while if I just flat iron it, only the tips of the colors show. I think it looks amazing.

  Of course, being complimented on my choice, led to Michelle getting all mad, saying she wanted to color her hair too. Mom had to call Laura, asking if she could fit her in. Michelle couldn’t get the colors she wanted, since her white blonde hair was too pretty, but she went with simple light brown lowlights. I would have told her she looked amazing if I didn’t think she’d be a total bitch about the compliment. Michelle doesn’t say anything as I pass her, she just glares at me. She looks exactly like our mom when she makes that face. I feel like flipping her off, or maybe even punching her in the tit, but I don’t want to get grounded on the first day of school. That happened last year, so I’m not looking for a repeat. Speaking of tits, mine finally grew. All I had up until summer was a little boy’s chest, but now, I’m all filled out, and I’m positive Michelle is jealous of that too, since they are double her size.

  “Hey, mom, can we go out for my learners this weekend? I’ve been studying all summer for it,” I say, grabbing an apple off the counter and taking a bite.

  Mom sighs. “Yes, I think that would be fine. Hard to believe you only have to be fourteen to write your learners test around here. Maybe we should move to New Brunswick. I heard you have to be closer to your sixteenth birthday for it there.” Her eyes narrow on me.

  I give her a small laugh. “Mom, it’s not like I will have my license. You have to be at least sixteen for that, but this gives you and Dad two years to teach me,” I say, smiling sweetly at her. I think I just aged her another ten years with thoughts of me driving.

  She shakes her head at me, at the same time looking worried about having me out on the road. “You need to get going. Your bus will be here any minute. Michelle, hurry up. Your car is blocking mine, and I need to get to work.” Michelle reluctantly grabs her messenger bag from the counter and walks out the back door, rolling her eyes. I once made the mistake of asking Michelle for a ride to school and it ended up with an eye roll, a glare, and a giant no, saying it would be hazardous to have someone like me near her in a confined space.

  I go over to Mom and give her a kiss on the cheek. “Love you, Mom.”

  *~*

  Walking into the high school, I feel confident in my choice of outfit. Arm-in-arm with Kellie, we take in our surroundings.

  “Wow, this place seems bigger than when we toured it before summer,” she says.

  The brick building is intimidating to say the least. I am afraid of getting lost between classes. Kellie and I met on my first day of school two years ago when we first moved here. I didn’t like seeing her getting picked on for being overweight, considering I’m not a stick myself, so I stepped in. We were instant friends.

  “Right,” I say, taking it all in. “Holy shit! Look over there—hot guy at two o’clock.” I glance over at the tall, dark-headed hottie.

  Kellie laughs at my bluntness. “Holy hott is right. Look away, look away fast. He’s staring at you!” she whispers frantically.

  Never one to shy away from anything, I smile at Mr. Hott guy. He tells his friend something and then saunters on over. “Hey there. Name’s Liam.” He sticks his large hand out for me to shake, and wow, he has a firm grip.

  “Liam,” I say, giving him a sweet smile. “This is my friend Kellie, and I’m Alix.” I introduce the two of us.

  He grins down at me, trapping me under the gaze of his hypnotic baby blues...

  And that’s all it took. I was a total goner—smitten. This was the beginning of Liam and me.

  AGE 15

  Sitting on the bleachers after school, Bobby, Shaun, Liz, Sarah, Simone, and I are just chatting and listening to music.

  Bobby and Sarah are latched at the mouth, as are Shaun and Liz. Simone is practically gagging at the sight of them, which makes me laugh.

  “What?” I pop one of my earbuds out.

  She looks at me and wiggles her nose. “That shit. Seriously, I don’t get it,” she says, pointing at them.

  I shrug. “It’s life.”

  “Yeah, sure. Life.” Her shoulders slump forward.

  Simone hasn’t had it easy. Her father left when she was just a baby, and her mom is a druggie. She doesn’t believe in love and thinks men are scum, especially after seeing her mother with a new guy all the time. She is always looking for an excuse to not be home.

  “If I tell you something, will you keep it between us?” she asks me quietly. She tucks her light brown hair behind her ear nervously, leaning closer to me. I’m secretly hoping she’ll say that she wants me. Hell, I’ve had a crush on Simone for just over a year now. I don’t know why the hell I don’t make a move, but I’m thinking I will soon.

  “Yeah. Of course.” Simone has been friends with all of us our whole lives. Our group of friends is really tight-knit.

  “I really like Sam,” she whispers. I frown, my heart sinking into my stomach, and I hope it doesn’t show on my face how upsetting her confession is.

  “No one knows?” I ask, wondering why she is confessing something like this to me. Shouldn’t she want to talk to one of the girls about this stuff? Not that I mind that she trusts me, I just...I like her.

  “I told him last week, but he laughed in my face, and the next time I saw him, he was making out with that bitch, Marnie,” she says, looking disappointed. She looks like she might cry. Shit, I hope she doesn’t cry. I will do anything to keep her from crying. The tears are near the brim of release. Think, Jordan! I chastise myself.

  Say something, anything. I go for the insulting him route. “He’s a douche. Don’t worry about it,” I tell her, hoping Sam will keep acting like an asshole, because I want her but also because he really is an asshole.

  She frowns, steals my loose earbud, and starts humming to the music, tapping her feet. I wish she knew how special I thought she was. Simone is one of those girls that is pretty but doesn’t know it. She doesn’t wear too much make-up or dress slutty. Always dresses nice and has a good personality; she is fun to be around. Too bad she thinks I’m only good enough to be her friend.

  She nudges me in the shoulder. “Do you think I’m pretty?”

  “Sure,” I answer too quickly. My ears are burning with embarrassment.

  “My friend, Lonnie, thinks you’re cute. Says she loves your blonde hair, the way it sweeps over your forehead.” She has a goofy grin on her face now—it’s adorable.

  “The way it lays on my forehead?” I question. Girls are weird.

  She punches me in the shoulder, handing me my earbud. “Hey, I gotta run.” She takes off unexpectedly.

  AGE 18

  Since I t
urned eighteen this past weekend, things have changed. Michelle has been harping even more than normal, saying Liam and I will never last because high school romances never do. She is bitter and jealous, still moping around over her first boyfriend from back home, and blaming me for their breakup. Because I got into trouble at school, we had to move away, and she had to dump Kevin. Of course, she doesn’t blame my dad, even though that was another reason we moved. Just me; I am the one she blames. She claims that if I didn’t do such stupid shit, Dad would have turned the move offer down.

  In all actuality, that isn’t how it works in his field. Dad’s position may be higher up in the company, but if his work really pushed it, he wouldn’t have had a choice but to relocate, taking us all with him.

  Applying the last bit of make-up on my face, I check the time. Shit, I’m running late. I never should have gotten so drunk last night. Waking up with this killer hangover is not a good way to feel, especially since it’s graduation day. Liam is meeting me at the school. He had to work for a few hours this morning, but his dad is letting him off to see me at the ceremony. Liam graduated last year at the top of his class. He currently is interning for his dad, but also going to college. I can’t wait to see his smiling face today.

  I feel like hell from coming in at two in the morning, singing Spice Girls, and rolling on the floor. It’s funny because I was told I did the same thing Friday night. Apparently, when I’m drunk, I like to roll a lot and sing cheesy songs. One of the things that had my mom worried, is the drinking age here; in this part of Canada, it’s eighteen. She kept talking, about a week before I turned eighteen, about how she wanted to protest the age limit, saying the States are smarter for having their legal age at twenty-one. I just rolled my eyes and smiled. She wasn’t as strict or upset when Michelle started drinking a few years ago.

  I walk downstairs into the living room, where my parents are waiting for me, sitting on the couch together. Mom fidgets with the hem of her knee-length navy skirt. Her head lifts in my direction, and she smiles sweetly, tears already forming in her eyes.

  It’s Dad that speaks up, sounding gruff. “Sweetheart, wow, look at you,” he says, standing from the couch.

  I give him a big smile. My dad has aged some these past few years. His once sandy brown hair is peppered with gray flecks, and the worry lines in his forehead are in a constant crease.

  “My baby is all grown up. How could this have happened?” Mom says, now full on crying. She takes a tissue from the coffee table and dabbles at her crows-feet.

  “Oh please,” Michelle snorts as she sits on the edge of the couch, flicking her nails together and not looking once in my direction. She’s never happy. Flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder, she rolls her eyes. Mom shoots her a look, one that screams ‘you’re not too big for me to put over my knee if you don’t shut up’. Michelle’s face pales when she takes the look in. I want to giggle-snort so badly right now, but I don’t want to chance getting that look myself.

  “Is Liam coming here or meeting us there?” Dad asks.

  “He’s gonna meet us there,” I tell him.

  “Are you sure you want to move in with him, sweetie? You just finished high school, and you’re going to be starting beauty school soon. You can stay here.” Mom has been trying to change both mine and Liam’s mind about us moving in together after I graduate. For us, it just feels right. Liam loves me, and I love him just as much, if not more. Besides, I’m ready to get away from Michelle and her hate for me.

  Michelle glares when she hears about me moving in with Liam. Every time it’s brought up, she gets angry. I’m not sure what the hell her problem is, but she needs to get over it. Hell, she should get out herself. She’s older than me, so I don’t understand why she doesn’t just move out and get her own place. Maybe she just likes the fact that she doesn’t need to be in the real world, living with mom and dad and all. Having no job—she is a real winner.

  She can’t even keep a boyfriend for long before she drives them all away with her attitude and all her self-absorbed bullshit. I don’t know many guys that want high maintenance bitches. She really should be on that show, Princess. The way she mooches off mom and dad, having her credit cards maxed out; I would love to see the host of that show rip her a new one.

  Glancing at the stream of sunlight hitting the glass coffee table in front of me and not wanting to think of how Michelle gets on my nerves over everything, I say, “I’m sure, Mom. I’ll still visit. It’s not like I’m moving to a different country or anything, just a few streets over.” I’ll make sure I visit more when Michelle isn’t home.

  “You know we’re only looking out for you, sweetheart,” Dad says. “I don’t like the idea of you moving out so young when you have plenty going on in your life right now, especially when you are going to be starting beauty school. You could stay home while doing that so you don’t have to worry about money. I don’t think you and Liam are ready for that kind of commitment. Living together is a big deal.”

  “Dad, I know you’re both looking out for me. I love you both even more for it, but I really think it’s time for me to move out and move on with my life, with what I really want to do,” I answer, smiling in their direction. “Plus, I don’t think you have room to talk. Didn’t you and Mom live together straight out of high school too?” I say with a smirk.

  Michelle snorts. “Yeah, that worked out great,” she mutters.

  “Michelle,” Mom warns.

  Dad stands from the couch and stops in front of me. “Well, as long as you’re ready for this big step, moving in with Liam, I really can’t stop you.” He smiles down at me. “You will always have a room here at home if it doesn’t work out. You’ll always be my little girl, even if you have crazy hair.”

  I stand quickly and wrap my arms around his shoulders, hugging him. “Thank you, Dad,” I say, squeezing him tightly as he wraps me up in his bear arms and returns my affection.

  Mom walks over and hugs me from behind. “My baby girl is growing up way too quickly,” she mumbles from behind me.

  Letting go of Dad, I laugh and spin around, hugging Mom.

  “Well, this is a special moment. Alix is finally leaving the nest.” Michelle’s voice drips with sarcasm. “I would really love to stick around and see what else happens, but I have more important things to attend to,” she says, glaring my way.

  “Right,” Dad answers. “Well, let’s get this graduation over with.” He ushers us out the door.

  The three of us climb into my mom’s red Jeep while Michelle takes off in her car, going who knows where. I know she isn’t going to see me at the ceremony; not like I care if she attends or not.

  *~*

  The after party is in full swing. Everyone who is anyone is here at this chick Dana’s house. We all know she throws the best parties. I’m in the kitchen grabbing a small snack; I need something in my stomach since I haven’t eaten all day. After the graduation ceremony, my parents wanted us to all go out for supper, but Liam asked if we could just spend time together. We ended up at Liam’s apartment—my apartment come tomorrow—clothes off, as he took me against the wall. Afterwards, we got cleaned up and headed out to the party.

  Dana’s kitchen is huge. Her parents completely renovated it. Instead of having a living room upstairs, they turned the dining area and the kitchen into one huge kitchen, and the old living room is now the dining area.

  I glance over at Liam as he stands near the island bar in the middle of the room, chatting up his buddy, Daryl. We look mismatched; where he is a total preppy guy, I am more of a hipster. He’s my guy though, and he makes a polo look sexy. I smile at how awesome today has been. Not only did I finish high school, but I’ll be starting beauty school in a few weeks, and I have a feeling Liam is going to ask me to marry him tonight.

  Kellie comes over to me from across the room, practically dancing with each step. She’s totally trashed. “Soo, you think he’s gonna pop the question tonight?” she asks.

  “I th
ink so. I mean, why else would he and Dad go off to the garage the other day, alone, to talk? That’s a big sign right there,” I smile at her.

  “If you do get engaged tonight, how soon will you plan the wedding?” she asks, slurring slightly.

  I shrug. “I’m only eighteen. I’m still doing school stuff. I figure if he asks me tonight, I’ll wanna wait a few years at least.” She looks at me shocked, probably thinking we’d want to have a quick wedding, but I don’t want that. I want time to enjoy being engaged, and then later on, after school is done, enjoy planning everything. I don’t want to rush this. People from high school were already asking if I’m pregnant since they heard we’re moving in together. This place can be so small-minded at times.

  “Babe!” I hear Liam shout at me across the room. “Ready to head out?”

  “Yeah, just a sec,” I shout back. “Later, Kellie!”

  “Later! Call me tomorrow? I want deets,” she says, giving me a tight hug and then making a call me gesture as she wanders off.

  I walk over to Liam as he tells the guys he’ll talk to them later, and we head out.

  Strolling along the sidewalk, we make our way to his car, which is parked under the only light on the street. I hate walking around late at night. Before we get to the car, he wraps his arms around me, kissing the side of my neck. I stop walking and turn more into him.

  “I love you,” he whispers, trailing feather light kisses down my neck.

  The light flickers above the car. “And I love you back,” I say, smiling. I wrap my arm around his neck, pulling him further into me and lightly kissing him back. “Today has been perfect,” I whisper against his lips.

  Removing his lips from mine, he traces his thumb over my lips, looking deep into my eyes. “Yes, it has been,” he says, “but the night is still young, and anything can still happen.” He winks at me then pulls me under his arm as we walk the last several steps to the car.