“The girls...” Lainie spluttered, growing increasingly frantic and desperate.
“Are upstairs,” Grant assured her. “I asked them not to come down until I called them.”
“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I screwed up. I should have told you. I realize that now. I just wasn’t thinking.” She was babbling, and she knew it but couldn’t seem to stop. There had to be something she could say, somehow she could convince him they didn’t need to do this.
Grant was still walking, gently bulldozing her in the direction of the office. “That’s the point. Getting a spanking this time will help you to remember to think about it the next time you’re tempted to hide something from me.” He pushed open the door and guided her over to the desk.
Lainie dug in her heels. “I get your point. I don’t need any help remembering. I’m perfectly capable of remembering on my own.”
“Really?” Grant said. He let go of her long enough to close and lock the door then walked around the desk and pulled his father’s paddle out of the drawer. “If that’s the case, why didn’t you remember today?”
“I didn’t know you were serious,” Lainie blurted. The moment the words left her mouth she regretted them. They were perhaps the absolute worst thing she could have said at the moment, true or not. “I mean...”
Grant was eyeing her, relaxed and calm but serious and intense. “Now you will,” he said before she could formulate a more coherent explanation. He picked up the paddle and walked around the desk, coming to stand behind her. “Drop your pants and bend over the desk.”
Shock flooded Lainie like a bucket of cold water. “What? No way.” It was one thing to do this when she felt guilty and both wanted and needed the absolution or to play around with it as part of sex. This was something else again. Sure, she had technically broken a rule, but the truth had come out in the end. It wasn’t that big a deal.
Still holding the paddle, Grant moved over to the bulletin board where their handwritten list of rules hung. He took down the list and brought it over to the desk, putting it down in front of Lainie. “What’s the first rule?”
You can read it as well as I can, Lainie thought irritably, but with him still holding the paddle she didn’t dare say it aloud. She glared at him. He tapped the paper with his index finger.
“Answer me,” he commanded. He hadn’t raised his voice in the slightest, but it was devastatingly quiet and stern.
Lainie found herself obeying without conscious thought. “Always be honest with each other,” she read quietly.
“And is that your signature?” he asked, pointing to the bottom where they had both signed it when they had decided to try DD.
He knew it was. He’d been sitting right beside her when she signed it. Still, she nodded, swallowing hard.
“This is going to happen,” he told her. “You agreed to these rules when you signed this paper. If you want to renegotiate when we’re done here, then we can talk about it. I’m not going to force you. Without your consent, it is abuse, and I won’t do that, but until that changes, I’m going to enforce the rules that we both agreed to. Now, you can do as I’ve asked, or I can do it myself, but if I have to do it, I’m going to add swats to what you’re already getting for defiance. Either way, it’s going to happen.”
Lainie’s palms prickled with apprehension and her stomach made a valiant effort to come out through her throat. The idea of getting a spanking at all was bad enough. The thought of adding even one more swat to that was absolutely intolerable. She wiped her hands on the side of her jeans then moved to unfasten them. Her hands were shaking and it took several tries to get the button to cooperate but eventually she was able to push them down. She stopped at mid-thigh, unable to force herself to lower them any further. She took a deep steadying breath and turned to the desk, bending awkwardly over it. Grant gently adjusted her position, pushing gently on her back until she was balanced on her elbows rather than her hands and shifting her hips into a more stable position. When she was situated to his liking, he took hold of her panties and pushed them down to join her jeans, sliding both down a little further toward her knees. Then, he put a hand on the small of her back, holding her in place. His touch was warm and heavy, oddly comforting.
Lainie felt him move a moment before she heard the paddle swing through the air. It connected with the crack like a gunshot that Lainie would’ve sworn could be heard throughout the neighborhood. For a split second, there was nothing but the sensation of impact and then there was sting, strong and sudden enough to make her gasp. The sound did nothing to detour Grant. He brought the paddle down over and over. Their particular paddle wasn’t heavy. There was never a sensation of a heavy, deep impact, but Grant tended to layer several swats one atop the other, covering already stung skin several times before moving on. It didn’t take long before it hurt like blazes. Lainie soon found herself squirming uncontrollably, whimpering and pleading. She was prepared to promise anything Grant wanted to hear, up to and including the moon, if he would only stop. He never even hesitated, covering every inch of her bottom and the tops of her thighs. When he targeted the sensitive crease between her bottom and thighs, tears bubbled up, and Lainie found herself helpless to stop them. She gave up even trying to fight them.
Lainie had no notion of how much longer it went on. It felt like an eternity, but in reality it was probably more like minutes. Eventually, Grant stopped, laying the paddle on the desk and rubbing her back, murmuring gentle nonsense until she brought herself back under control. When her tears had died down to wet sniffles, he helped her stand, turning her in his arms to hold her against his chest.
“I’m sorry,” Lainie said in a small, shaky voice, and this time she meant it. One of the very first rules of parenting, or even when working with children in situations where more than one adult was involved, was to present a united front. She knew that. She had known it for years and done it many times with other teachers and teachers assistants in her working life. If they deserved that kind of cooperation, didn’t her husband, the father of her children, deserve the same? What had she been thinking, and why did things make so much more sense when her backside was torched?
“I know,” Grant told her. He was still rubbing her back, swaying lightly back and forth. “I believe that you weren’t deliberately trying to go behind my back.”
“I wasn’t,” Lainie insisted. “I honestly just didn’t want another fight. It seems like everything is a constant struggle with Kathleen these days. I knew if I told you it would lead to another argument. One meltdown today was more than enough. That was all.”
“All right, sweetheart, it’s over now. We’ve dealt with it. Now we put it behind us, and try to do better next time,” Grant told her quietly.
It should have been ridiculous, standing there swaying in his arms with her bottom on fire and her pants still at half mast. Instead, it was oddly comforting. Lainie felt safer and calmer than she had since the whole ordeal with Kathleen had begun. Finally, Lainie gathered herself enough to reach down and pull her panties back into place. She kicked her jeans off, unable to even bear the thought of putting them back on right now. Grant was still holding her, and without letting go, he walked them over to the couch and sat down, drawing Lainie into his lap. She whimpered involuntarily when her very sore bottom came into contact with the rough denim of his jeans, but with a little shifting and squirming, she was able to find a semi-comfortable position.
“Do we need to talk about the rules now?” Grant asked. “If you’re really unhappy with them, we need to discuss it. I don’t want this to be something I do to you. We’re in this together.”
Lainie had a brief sarcastic thought that went somewhere along the lines of them both not being the ones getting spanked. She was the only one with a sore backside, but she couldn’t summon the will or the energy to say it out loud. “Maybe,” she said finally, intensely aware of the need to be completely honest with him and not hide anything. Not tonight. Not ever again if she could possibly
help it.
“Okay,” Grant agreed. “What is it that you think we need to discuss?”
Lainie took a deep breath, struggling to gather her thoughts and find some way to get them out without offending Grant. “I know you believe in DD and rules and structure, but I’m just not sure about this whole rules thing. I’m fine with adding spanking to our sex life. You know I’ve enjoyed our explorations there. I can even admit that it sometimes helps with guilt, but I hate the idea of having a list of rules. It makes me feel like a child who can’t be expected to behave.”
Lainie risked a glance at Grant, hoping fervently that he understood. He didn’t seem angry or offended. If anything, he looked stunned. She turned away, looking back at her lap. She despised these heavy emotional conversations. Women were supposed to want them, but Lainie hated them. It was far easier to pretend everything was fine, and just go with the flow. Grant caught her chin, turning her back to look at him.
“I apologize,” he said with an earnestness that went deep. “It was never my intention to make you feel like that. Not once have I ever thought of you that way. I’ve been frustrated myself because when you hide things it makes me feel like you’re casting me in the role of the parent and that was never what I wanted for us. I mean it when I said I want us to be partners. That was my intention with setting rules. When we talked originally, I saw them as guidelines for the way we treat each other and our relationship. I never intended it to seem like I found you lacking. That never crossed my mind. We had grown so far apart, and I saw having the rules as a way to give us boundaries so that we did not do that again. Think about it. All of our rules have to do with the way we handle things in our relationship and the way we treat ourselves and each other.”
Thinking about it, Lainie realized that was true. They didn’t have arbitrary rules. Their rules were to be honest with each other, to be respectful, not to do anything unnecessarily dangerous, things like that. They were bedrock things that were the cornerstones of relationships. One thing still rankled though. “If the rules are for both of us, why am I the only one getting spanked?”
Grant shrugged. “That’s how it works,” he replied. “One of us has to be in charge. Otherwise, it would just be a constant power struggle, and that defeats the purpose. We tried that, remember?”
Lainie couldn’t argue with that. The early days of their marriage had been a constant power struggle until Grant had started working all the time and left her to do everything her way. Loathe as she was to admit it, the time since they had moved had been far better than any of the time when they were living like that.
“That doesn’t mean I’m not still accountable though,” Grant went on. “I’m as capable of making mistakes and bad decisions as anybody. You of all people know that. If I am not living up to my end of the bargain, then call me on it. You have that right. If there ever comes a time when I won’t listen to you, go to Matt, go to Brent, go to someone. I promise you the men around here won’t hesitate to get in my face and do whatever it takes to get me to get my head out of my ass.”
Lainie had never thought about that, but she had no doubt that it was true. “I can see that, I suppose.”
“I think the structure and accountability has helped,” Grant continued. “That’s why it’s so important to me to keep it. Do you not agree?”
It wasn’t that she disagreed exactly. Something had certainly improved their marriage since they had moved. If she were honest, Grant taking over a lot of the decisions had been a big part of it. She didn’t want to go back to the way they had been before. She didn’t miss the stress or being a de facto single-parent. Truthfully, she like the way things were going. She just didn’t like being spanked.
She didn’t realize she had said that last bit aloud until Grant chuckled wryly and said, “It wouldn’t be a deterrent if you liked it, sweetheart. That’s the point.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Lainie grumbled good-naturedly.
“Do you agree to continue with our rules then?” Grant asked.
She couldn’t think of any good reason not to. It made a lot more sense now that she knew his perspective. Besides, it was working. “Yes.”
“Thank you,” Grant said quietly, dropping a kiss on her head. “We can revisit it any time we need to.”
Lainie sighed, curling into Grant’s chest. “What are we going to do about Kathleen?”
“Well, for starters, I’d say she’s grounded again, for at least three weeks this time,” Grant replied. “I’d also like to have her write an apology letter to you for the way she behaved. The way she treated you and the things that she said to you are completely and acceptable, and she needs to know that.”
Lainie nodded. “That seems fair, but I really meant what are we going to do to help her understand. She is still insisting that we are living in some kind of weird cult. She really thinks you are abusing me.”
Now it was Grant’s turn to sigh. “So does most of the mainstream population.”
“Yes,” Lainie agreed, “but I don’t care about what most of the world thinks. I don’t have to live with them. Kathleen, on the other hand, I do care about. For one, I’m tired of her being so angry. For another, I don’t like the idea that she thinks of you as an abuser. That’s not a fair characterization, and I don’t want her growing up with that idea of her father.” Even as the words left her mouth, Lainie was struck by the irony of them. It had only been a few weeks ago when she herself had accused Grant of being abusive. She had never really meant it. She was just angry and struggling against all the new changes. Kathleen honestly believed what she said though. “There has to be something we can do to make her understand.”
“I have some ideas about that,” Grant said. “You leave Kathleen to me.”
Chapter 8
Despite Grant’s instructions, Lainie couldn’t help worrying. She admitted as much to Julie as the two of them walked together to the TiH book club the following day. She trusted Grant, but she was sick of the constant conflict and desperate to find a solution. Julie sympathized but confessed it wasn’t a situation she had ever encountered before. They walked along in a comfortable silence, broken here and there by random bits of small talk and neighborhood gossip. Suddenly, Julie stopped in her tracks, staring at the paperback book she was carrying.
“What about a book,” she blurted.
“What?” Lainie stared at her, confused.
“For Kathleen,” she explained. “I was thinking back to when I was a teenager. I remember that was when I first encountered the idea of adult spanking. There were a few spanking scenes included in some of the old bodice ripper romances I used to sneak from my mom’s stash. I was fascinated by them. I’m not saying Kathleen will be as attracted to them as I was, but it’s a fairly unthreatening way to introduce a teenager to the idea of erotic spanking.”
“You might be onto something there,” Lainie said thinking about it. “I couldn’t give it to her. She would ignore it if it came from me just on principle, but maybe I could just “happen” to leave one lying around where she could find it. Do you have any recommendations for books that might fit the bill?”
They tossed around a few possibilities as they continued toward Venia’s. When they got inside, as everyone was settling down, Julie explained to the group what they were working on. “Does anyone have any ideas?” Julie asked. “The obvious problem is that most books in this genre lean toward erotica, we need something that is more romance without being too explicit for fifteen-year-old.”
“That probably rules out gay lit too,” Jonathan said. “Unless she identifies that way herself, she’s probably not ready for that.”
Lainie nodded. “I’d agree with that. I’ve never had anything to lead me to believe she might be gay so she’s probably not ready for that at this point.”
“So, we’re looking for a male/female romance that is fairly non-explicit and includes spanking,” Dina summarized. She pursed her lips and tapped her index finger against them, thinking. Out of
the group, Dina was the one Lainie had really expected to know the answer. She’d read a tremendous amount of books and seemed to be able to recall most of them from memory. After a moment, Dina got up and wandered to the bookcase where Venia kept the books they had previously read. She came back carrying two or three possibilities, holding them out for everyone to see.
“That one’s perfect,” Char exclaimed pointing to the one in the middle. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. It’s a favorite of mine.”
“Mine too,” Julie agreed. There was a murmur of agreement from several others in the group. “I have a copy at home. I’ll get it for you when we’re done here.”
“That would be great,” Lainie said. “Thank you, all of you. I really appreciate the help.”
“That’s what we’re here for,” Jonathan said. Then, he picked up the current book they had been reading and they settled down for the discussion.
Lainie was still in good spirits when she made it home from book club. For the first time in a long time, she actually felt like she had a solution that might work for helping Kathleen understand. Her good mood lasted until she made it in the door and called out to Grant. “In here,” he called from the living room in response to her greeting. The words were casual enough, but there was something in the tone that made Lainie feel like someone had suddenly poured a glass of ice water down her spine. Her stomach tightened. She thought back frantically, scanning her memory of the recent days to figure out whether she had done anything that could possibly make Grant upset with her. He was clearly upset, but she couldn’t for the life of her pinpoint anything she had done that would’ve gotten her in trouble. She was still recovering from her last spanking and not nearly brave enough to chance getting another one just yet. Her anxiety spiked yet again when she walked into the living room to find Brent sitting on the sofa with Grant. Brent was a nice guy, and generally, Lainie liked him a lot, but she could tell almost instantly that this was no social call.
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