Return to Corbin's Bend

by Corinne Alexander

  “Well I did learn something with all my research.”

  “What’s that?” Crystal smiled.

  “I don’t want to conceive in a doctor’s office. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I know that’s how you chose to do it; how lots of people choose to do it, but I like the thought of the other way better.”

  “With a turkey baster? You can’t be serious.”

  “Not exactly a turkey baster. I want to try at home, with candles and music and I want you to do it.”

  “Me.”

  “Well who else?” The sarcastic section of her brain was just dying to suggest her friends would do it for her but luckily the common-sense part overpowered it. “I don’t want anyone else but you to do it, certainly not some doctor that I barely know.”

  “So you do remember how the baby comes out? People are going to be looking down there.”

  “Well sure I know that. It isn’t the looking, it’s the you being involved. I want you there from the beginning.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  “And I want a home birth.”

  “Oh crap,” Crystal said, opening her eyes wider than Carol had ever seen them.

  “Oh my God! I thought we might never see you again.” Jen rushed up to Carol and encased her in a big bear hug. “I’m so sorry. Brock made me tell him.”

  “It’s fine. Going to the city like that and signing papers, using bank accounts and giving fax numbers-what the hell were we thinking?”

  “Not a lot it seems.”

  “Sorry if we pressured you,” Erin said. “I think we all just got wrapped up in some of the excitement.”

  “Was it bad?” Sienna asked. “Your punishment I mean.”

  “It wasn’t great but I’ve had worse.” She didn’t want to go into it this time. It would mean bringing Crystal’s jealousy of Jen out into the open and that wouldn’t help anything at all. They were all in a good place now, so some things were better just left alone.

  “So what was decided?” Jen asked. “About the baby?”

  “Well, I have so much to tell you about that.”

  “So you’re gonna go ahead with it then?” Erin asked. “With the donor we found?”

  “Yes and no. Yes we’re going to go ahead but not with the donor we found.” Carol went on to explain about Bri’s donor and what they’d decided. “So Crystal brought home a leaflet for a women’s center in Boulder that has classes for people planning to get pregnant.”

  “What do they teach you; the facts of life?”

  “That wouldn’t apply to us anyway, dork.” Carol gave Sienna a friendly shove. “No, it’s all about being at your healthiest before you get pregnant.”

  “I see green vegetables in your future, hon,” Jen said with a smile.

  “Don’t forget exercise.”

  “Yoga,” Sienna added.

  “That won’t be a problem at least,” Carol said. “I coach little kids soccer remember?”

  “My daughter is on your team. I’m not sure that standing there with a whistle counts as exercise though, I’m thinking yoga.”

  “I run.”

  “I’d love to be a fly on the wall,” Sienna said. “Can we come?”

  “Not this time. This is just for Crystal and me,” Carol said. “We need to do this together.”

  “Fair enough,” Jen said. “Take pictures though, okay?”

  Carol giggled. “Selfies. Oh and I didn’t tell you the best part! I want to have a home birth.”

  “This place could be part of my hippy fantasy,” Carol said as they walked into the older style house. It wasn’t a hippy that answered the door though but a woman that looked to be in her early sixties.

  “I think your hippy fantasy should be kept at home.”

  “It may just be the only thing that helps me get through this,” Carol said dramatically. “I still don’t see why all this is necessary. I bet your mother and mine didn’t go to classes before they were even pregnant.”

  “You’re probably right. They didn’t have dvd players, iPods or flat screen TVs either. Maybe we should get rid of all the modern conveniences and live in the past. Two lesbian women would have done really well in those times trying to get pregnant.”

  “No, I’ll take my chances in the modern world I guess.”

  “If we have the chance to learn more, to give our baby a better chance. Isn’t that worth it?”

  Carol winced. “It’ll be full of straight people that look at us funny and ask us how we’re going to make this happen.”

  “We’ll just smile and say with a little luck and a whole lot of love, like everyone else. We don’t have to elaborate, this is no one else’s business. We’re here for the knowledge.”

  “You know I think you missed your calling. You should have been a sales person.”

  “Hmmm. I could sell Avon door to door.” Crystal slapped Carol’s bottom.

  “Hey! We’re not in Corbin’s Bend now. Someone might see.”

  “Then behave and you won’t have anything to worry about.”

  “The door to the large older style house was open. “I guess we go right in?” Carol said, peering through the doorway.

  “Yeah, I suppose so.” Crystal took Carol’s hand and marched through the doorway.

  “Hello.” A woman that looked about sixty came out from one of the rooms. “I’m assuming you’re here for the pre conception class?”

  “Yes,” Crystal said, shaking the woman’s outstretched hand. “I’m Crystal and this is my partner Carol.”

  “Pleased to meet you, Carol. I’m Grace. Come in. There’s another couple inside and the rest should be here in a minute. If you don’t mind me asking, which of you is planning to fall pregnant?”

  “That would be me,” Carol said, smiling besides her reservations. “Nice to meet you too.”

  “This is Jake and Amanda.”

  “Hi guys,” Jake said.

  “Hi,” Crystal said. “Crystal and Carol.”

  “So, been through this before?” Amanda asked. “It’s our first time.”

  “This is our second baby but the first time we’ve done this course.”

  “Cos we look like we don’t know how to take care of ourselves,” Amanda said.

  “Exactly.”

  “Was this your idea or Crystal’s?”

  “Crystal’s.”

  “Yeah this was Jake’s idea. It seemed like a good idea to him, if I, got healthier. Well he’s going to do all this with me. I’m not going to be the only parent here. If we’re sharing this child, we’re sharing whatever they have in mind for us here.”

  “Yeah, although I think Crystal will love it. She’s pretty much healthy all the time.”

  “So I’m guessing you’re the one who’s going to have the baby?”

  “Yeah. How’d you guess?”

  “Because you’re the one that got dragged here to the healthy classes.”

  “It’s not just about health,” Jake said. “It’s about being prepared.”

  “Of course it is,” Amanda said with a smile.

  “It’ll be fun,” Crystal said. “All you have to do is listen and keep an open mind.”

  The class wasn’t as bad as Carol imagined. She did try and listen and keep her mind open. There was something about people when they stand in front of you and talk.

  “Should I be asking you questions like I do with Bri after she reads?”

  “Nope.”

  “I think some of this stuff might be fun.”

  “Maybe. The people seemed nice.”

  “Yeah, they did and we weren’t the only lesbian couple.”

  “So I was thinking with the diet thing.”

  “What were you thinking?”

  “That we should ease into this. Like mix some of the healthy raw foods with the foods we like.”

  “Like?”

  “Well, like taco salad. It has salad, and cheese, there’s your dairy right there.”

  “And fried tortilla sh
ells, and goodness knows what’s inside that seasoning.”

  Carol poked out her tongue. “That’s what makes the raw stuff taste good.”

  “I tell you what, we’ll work on adjusting some recipes to make them healthy?”

  “That should be easy peasy, just take out anything that tastes good.”

  “Good food doesn’t have to taste bad.”

  “So how about cake and coffee and stuff?”

  “Were you listening at all? Decaf.”

  “Well be prepared for me to be a bear if I can’t have caffeine in the morning.”

  “Noted. Be prepared to be spanked.”

  “No fair!”

  “Yes it is, all of this is about self-control. Look at the bigger picture.”

  “So, how was your class?” Jen asked.

  “It was fine,” Carol said, rolling her eyes. “This week we talked about nutrition.”

  “Oh goody. Does that mean you can’t have any of Ange’s sweets?”

  “Um, maybe,” Carol said, the resolve she brought with her already crumbling. “Her stuff is all natural.”

  “Yeah and there’s fruit in this one,” Erin said, offering her an apple tart.

  “I don’t know,” Carol said. “I’ll just make myself some instant decaf coffee and I’ll decide.”

  “Decaf,” Sienna said. “You are being a good girl.”

  “Yes I am.”

  “So what’s on the agenda next week?”

  “At the class?” Carol asked. “Not too sure. I think exercise or something. But I do know that I have to see Dr Marcus.”

  “To co-ordinate the donor I suppose.”

  “No, to help co-ordinate me,” Carol said. “Apparently I need blood work and vaccinations. Nobody said anything about shots.”

  “Rubella?” Jen asked.

  “You knew about this and you didn’t say anything?”

  “I didn’t think it was a big deal.” Jen giggled. “Don’t be a baby. It’s just a little shot.”

  “And the whole dragging blood out of my arm. They talk about you needing to take iron so you don’t get anemic and then they suck out the blood you have. How does that work?”

  “Oh you’re going to be a wonderful patient when you’re giving birth.”

  “I just don’t like doctors, surgeries, and hospitals.”

  “Really,” Erin said.

  “So how are you going to go about getting the baby in there and then getting it out again?” Sienna asked.

  “The natural way. Well as natural as possible. Crys and I will do the baby making at home and that’s where we’ll bring our baby into the world.”

  “But, hon, you know sometimes it’s not that easy. A doctor might need to intervene.”

  “I’m not going to put our baby at risk. If that has to happen, then it does and I will go to the hospital with nary a complaint but while my world is perfect, I’m planning a home birth.”

  “Exciting!”

  “Yes it is isn’t it? Except for the needles. I’m still trying to convince Crystal that none of that is necessary.”

  “Yeah, well good luck with that.”

  “I might need it.”

  “I don’t feel well,” Carol said, pulling the comforter over her head.

  “You’re being a baby.”

  “No, I’m not. I’m sick. I think I’m coming down with something.”

  “Uh huh. I think they call that an attack of chicken stubbonitis.” Crystal smacked the hump in the bed. “I’m going to take Brianna to school and you better be up, showered, dressed and waiting for me by the time I get back.”

  “What if I can’t.”

  “Then I’ll be making you take some medicine and I have to warn you it’ll come with my biggest wooden spoon.”

  Carol whipped the bedding off her face. “You can’t spank a person for being sick,” she said indignantly.

  “You can spank a person for faking being sick.”

  “Has anyone ever told you that you’re mean?”

  “Yes. Don’t forget that mean person insisted you eat your vegetables and that person that went for a walk with you, even though they’d done a twelve hour shift. I think that person also went to a yoga class even though she’d spent half the day in the gym at work.”

  “I guess you mean well.”

  “Yes I do. I could be wrong but if there’s even a chance that it helps you to fall pregnant quicker and to give our baby a better chance at being healthy, isn’t it worth it?”

  “Yes, you know I think it is but I have to tell you, that sounds very much like emotional blackmail.”

  “If it does, I don’t mean it that way but the bottom line is, pun intended, that I’m the one in charge here, so that makes me the automatic winner of this argument. We have an appointment, now get ready.” She punctuated the end of her sentence with a sharp smack.

  Crystal had already explained what their visit was about when she made the appointment so Dr Marcus didn’t keep them waiting.

  “Come in ladies,” he said. “Unless you’d like to come in on your own, Carol.”

  Carol immediately grabbed Crystal’s hand. “No, that’s fine. I want Crystal to come.”

  “So, I hear you two are planning another addition,” Marcus said.

  Carol beamed. It was a subject that made her smile, mostly, unless there was a pile of spinach on her plate or she was about to be dragged up a big hill on a long walk. “Yes we are.”

  “Well that’s just great. Let me know when you’re ready and I’ll organize any necessary paperwork you need from me.”

  “Thank you, Doctor,” Crystal said.

  “So sit up here young lady and we’ll see about your blood first.”

  “You don’t need to take much do you?”

  “No, but it won’t matter. Just relax and close your eyes and it’ll be over before you know it.”

  Carol shut her eyes as directed but wasn’t able to keep them that way. When she did open them, Dr Marcus was about to insert the needle. “No!”

  “What’s wrong?” The needle was poised.

  “Look how thick that thing is! It’s not gonna be nothing.”

  “I swear if you stay calm it won’t be more than a little sting.”

  “Carol.” Crystal’s voice was stern but she pulled the chair she’d been sitting on up beside her. “Hold my hand and look at me.”

  She did but when there was silence, curiosity got the better of her. “Hey.” Crystal tapped Carol’s hand. “I said look at me.”

  “I’m trying.”

  “Trust me.”

  Carol held tight to Crystal’s hand and didn’t take her eyes off her face for even a second. She did feel a stab, then it felt a little weird but before she knew it, Marcus was sticking a bandaid on. “You’re finished?”

  “All done,” the friendly doctor said. “Except for your shot.”

  “There’s no except where needles are concerned,” Carol said, pulling her arm way out of Marcus’ reach. “I changed my mind. I want to have the shot next week. This is enough for one day.”

  “If you put off the shot, then you have to wait another whole month until you can try the first time.”

  Carol had always liked Dr Marcus but that smooth voice now was pissing her off. There was nothing she hated to hear more when she was being irrational than the voice of reason.

  “Come on, Carol, we’re doing this now.”

  “We’re not doing this. Apparently I’m doing it or having it done to me.”

  “This is what you want, your dream. Surely you aren’t going to give up your dream over a little shot,” Crystal said.

  “I’m not giving it up. I just want to pause. Not for a whole week, what if we put it off just for a couple of days?”

  “And give you time to work yourself up even more? We’re here now and we’re going to get this over with.”

  “This arm’s too sore and I need the other one to,” she looked at Crystal, “cook and clean and stuff.”

/>   “It’s okay, Carol,” Dr Marcus said. “I don’t need your arm.”

  “Good. Oh what?” Crystal was helping her to stand and she knew where this was heading. “Um, my arm is feeling better. It’s just fine.”

  “Not to worry, Carol,” a calm voice said.

  She could see out of the corner of her eye when she turned that Dr Marcus was prepping the needle. Meantime, Crystal had her pinned to the padded table thing that they laughably called a bed. She clung to her pants desperately but Crys managed to get them down on one side just long enough for the doctor to jab her high on one cheek. There was that disgusting smell of the alcohol they rubbed on just before they got you. “Owww.” She wanted to jump up and down but Crystal held her in place.

  “Done,” Crystal said, rubbing her bottom to soothe her when the doctor turned around.

  “Really this time?”

  “Really. Go, and don’t forget to keep up with your healthy schedule.”

  “How can I forget, Doc? My memory is right beside me.”

  The food was bad and the yoga was ridiculous, but Carol had to admit she’d never felt in better shape. She’d taken to jogging around to her friends’ houses instead of driving when they had coffee. Or they had coffee and she had decaffeinated swill. More times than not though, she just had water or juice. It was funny how you could actually get used to drinking water. At first her body had craved caffeine making it more difficult than ever to stay out of trouble. She had though mostly. The thing that had touched her heart though was her friends support as she reached Jen’s house they were all waiting. “You don’t all have to do this,” she said.

  “We want to, don’t we girls?”

  “Of course we do,” Erin said. She opened up her trunk and added Carol’s yoga mat to the others. “Crystal has to work, we’re not going to let you go alone.”

  “Wow, Sienna, you ditched your shoes.”

  “See how much I love you.”

  The trip into Boulder was fun with lots of dancing to the stereo and lots of pregnancy stories. Pregnancy stories that helped her feel excited now rather than bored and left out.

  “So how long does this class last for?” Sienna asked.

  “About half an hour. It’s only a beginner class so it shouldn’t be too hard,” Carol said. “Wouldn’t you have been more comfortable in sweats though? I don’t know if you’re going to be able to bend in the pants.”