Healing Hearts

by Reina Torres

  Stopping for a moment to double check that the soles of his shoes were clean, he stepped into the car and toward the center of the room and the front desk. The wood was stained a dark cherry that seemed to glow from the sunlight that flooded the car.

  “Okay,” he mumbled under his breath, “you saw it, now let’s go before someone sees you in here.” He turned to walk back out and stopped. Two armchairs sat along the other wall, balancing each other out around a marble topped table with an ornate clock at the center.

  He didn’t have to move any closer to see what it looked like. It was a working clock from the Edwardian period. Dating back to the early 1900s, the ornately painted wooden trim matched the colors of the room. Blocking out the sound of his blood coursing through his ears he could hear the rhythmic tick-tock of the clock’s inner workings.

  “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

  Kyle turned, frozen in place, like the last time Stan had caught him sneaking ice cream from the freezer when he was ten, but this really was different. He’d never been so out of sorts before. But if he thought her voice had him on edge, seeing her in a dress put him off balance in the best possible way. He couldn’t be sure, but the fabric looked like a stained glass window, draped over her body in a kaleidoscope of color. The fabric smoothed over her curves brought a rush of heat rolling through his body, but the heat was extinguished by the worry in her eyes.

  “You’re welcome. I found it in an antique store in Sacramento.” Kyle stepped closer, hoping to get a clear look at her face. The warm glow of the sunshine cast a little too much of her face in shadow since she wore her curls down around her shoulders. “I hoped you’d like it. Maybe be something you could use around the house.” He gestured back toward the table. “I never thought you’d bring it here.”

  “Well, it’s perfect for this room.” She moved a few steps toward the table, but it also brought her closer to him. “I had an empty space on that table and didn’t know what to put there. When I pulled it out of the box,” she stopped and gave him a hesitant smile, “I didn’t know what to say. It was such a sweet gift and-”

  “I didn’t realize. I mean, I know I probably shouldn’t be here.” He saw her tense up and wished he’d just have kept his mouth shut. “I didn’t know there were invitations.”

  “I just wasn’t sure. I mean-” she took a step forward and stopped again, hesitating, “after the way I acted in your office and then running off on you, I thought you’d be glad to get rid of me. I just made everything so-”

  “Complicated?” He saw her sigh of relief and smiled back. “I think we both complicated things, but,” Kyle reached out to touch her arm, “I wanted to know-”

  The front door banged open on its hinges and they turned, brushing the loose fabric of her sleeve over his fingertips

  Alan moved through the lobby with almost a dozen people filing in after him, with microphones and bright smiles accompanied an assortment of cameras. “You won’t believe who showed up.”

  Kyle didn’t watch a lot of television, but he recognized at least one of the women from a Sacramento news program. “Hey, I’m going to go-”

  “Kyle, wait.” He heard the tension in her voice and the torn expression on her face. “I should at least try to explain-”

  He felt the group moving closer and he shook his head, giving her a smile that he hoped looked encouraging. “No, I get it, I’ll see you around.”

  Kyle stepped back and instantly regretted the move when the knot of reporters and their cameramen pushed in between them. He saw the way Stella’s eyes stayed on him as he moved toward the door. He didn’t want to make this any more difficult than it already was for her and her rather impressive audience.

  It wasn’t until he was outside with the crisp spring air brushing against his skin that he took another breath and cleared his mind.

  Complicated. He certainly knew how to do complicated, when all he wanted to do was be simple. Support Stella’s dream. Show her he cared. Take one step to dig them out of this… weird rut they’d sunk into.

  And then he’d gone and messed it up, knowing she had a business to run, clients to focus on, wasn’t that why they’d got into this mess in the first place? He’d been on her case about that for weeks and now, hadn’t he done the same thing?

  Chapter 18

  Days went by, and Kyle had declared Nico physically ready to move home, but neither he nor Velia seemed eager for him to go. If they had been able to convince Stella to come over and take up one of the guest rooms, he would probably have stayed. But Stella didn’t want to take either of the boy’s rooms even though Teodoro spent most of his nights with Mira.

  So Kyle no longer had any reason to visit with Nico at home, and Stella’s father would only need to come into the therapy center once a week. Being no closer to bridging the silent gap between himself and Stella, Kyle threw himself into his work and that included taking every available consult at the hospital.

  After visiting the patient and giving his treatment recommendation with the pediatrician on staff, Kyle went to the lounge to grab a cup of coffee. The room was empty when he arrived and so was the coffee pot, so Kyle bought a bottled water from the vending machine and headed for the table at the center of the room.

  The door opened behind him and he heard the distinct clip of heels on the laminate flooring, the subtle bang of the cupboard door and the not so polite string of curses when they discovered that the, “flippin’ coffee pot is empty, again.”

  “Such language, Maren.”

  He turned slightly in his chair and saw her push her blonde hair from her face with a look that would strip paint off the walls. “You want to go a few rounds, Kyle?” She gave him a pointed look. “I haven’t had my coffee yet, I’ll give you a run for your money.”

  He shook his head. “No thanks, I’m tough, but not stupid.” Using his foot, he pushed a chair out from under the table. “Take a seat, the Doctor’s in.”

  Rolling her eyes she headed for the seat, snatching the water bottle out of his hand before she took the chair.

  The staff at St. Helena Memorial Hospital were just as much a family as their local community was. The doctors and nurses cared for each other and lent an ear or a shoulder as often as they did advice.

  Today it looked like Dr. Maren Arliss needed at least one of those as she struggled to open the water bottle.

  Kyle leaned back in his chair. “Tough day?”

  Her answering smile was a weak imitation of her usual broad grin. “You could say that.” With a grunt she wrenched the top from the bottle.

  “Anything I can help you with?” He looked down at the folder on the table. “A new patient?”

  Maren sighed. “An old one actually.” He heard the soft pain in her voice, but he understood. Maren was an Oncologist. Neither of them liked return customers. “Five years,” she reached out and played with the corner of the patient file, wearing at the edge of it, “I thought she’d come in, get her test, and I’d get to give her the good news.” She bent the corner of the file. “But now,” Maren drew in a shallow breath, “now I get to tell her it may just be back.”

  It hit him hard. The pain in her voice.

  “I had them check the machine. I probably scared that new tech out of his shoes and two years from his life. But the machine was fine. I just don’t want this to be real.”

  Before he could say anything she laughed, a little burst of bitter embarrassed laughter. “I sound like a child. But you know what I’m going to do?” She gathered up her folder and closed it as she stood.

  Kyle stood along with her and earned himself a soft smile from the older physician for his manners. “I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”

  She poked him in the bicep. “I’m going to pull up my big girl panties and tell her we’re going to the next step.”

  He took a guess. “Biopsy?”

  Her nod was sharp. “Yep, and if we have to, we’ll fight this again until we kick its ass to the curb once and
for all.”

  Kyle watched her as she walked to the door, calling out to her as she twisted the knob. “Maren?”

  She turned, and he saw the hesitation in her eyes… and even a measure of fear. “Hmm?”

  He gave her a smile, hoping she could see the confidence in his eyes. “If I had to go through this, you’re the doctor that I’d want fighting with me.”

  Her smile returned, her eyes glittering with bright happy tears. “You say the sweetest things.” She blew out a breath and opened the door. “Thanks, Kyle. That means the world to me. But when it comes to being a warrior in the fight, I don’t have anything on this girl. This won’t just be the second time for this fight. We lost her mother to cancer when she was a little girl. I wish I was even half as strong as she is.”

  The door closed behind her and Kyle still hadn’t moved.

  Five years.

  Mother.

  Cancer.

  No.

  “No.” He pushed away from the table, knocking his chair to the floor. When the thought crystalized in this head felt, it like a stabbing pain. He grabbed the doorknob and turned it, pulling the door open a heartbeat later. He’d barely made it into the doorway when he stopped short at the sight before him.

  A couple of doors down the hall, Stella stood with her arms wrapped around her bag, hugging it to her chest. “Good afternoon, Stella,” Maren gave her patient a hug. “Thanks for coming in. Why don’t you step inside?”

  The two disappeared into the doctor’s office and Kyle felt his knees buckle.

  Stella. Stella was Maren’s patient. Stella, who had survived her mother’s loss and her own fight with the disease, and might have it again.

  His mind swam with thoughts, trying to come up with excuses to drop in? Maybe Maren left something behind her. Kyle’s gaze raked over the table and the floor beneath it. Spotless.

  He’d just have to take his chance. He wanted to be there with her when she got the news.

  Closing the breakroom door behind him, he stepped out into the hall and was brought up short when an orderly wheeled a cart past him. The sudden stop had changed his mind, and shown him the error in his thinking. It would be wrong to interrupt. Maren knew what she was doing. She had known Stella for years. She’d been there with her through her battle and now she’d be with her through this.

  If, he reminded himself, it was cancer again. But now he’d be there for Stella too. He’d just wait for her call and be ready to go to her when she did. Turning back down the hall he headed for the stairway. He'd go back to his office and wait for her call.

  A few days later, Kyle decided that waiting wasn’t something he was good at. It wasn’t something he even wanted to practice. He was a man of action. But he was determined to give Stella her space, even if it gave him an aneurism.

  When he dropped his bag down on the bench at the park he wasn’t far behind it. Dax looked over at him and continued to tie his shoes, sharing a look with Adam who took a drink of water from his hydro flask.

  Roman stepped up with Trey on his heels. “Do we have enough for a game tonight?”

  Kyle shrugged and reached into his bag for a towel. When he had it in his hand he sat back up and found everyone staring at him. “What?”

  Trey stepped back, holding his hands up like a shield. “Don’t look at me, we just got here.”

  Dropping the towel back onto his bag, Kyle got up from the bench. “Do we have enough?”

  With a quick look over his shoulder, Trey nodded. “Looks like Gabe’s here.”

  Roman kept his eyes on Kyle. “Three on three is fine with me.”

  “Good.” Bending down, Kyle picked up the basketball that was resting in the grass by Adam’s feet. “Let’s get going.”

  The men hit the court and the game started well enough. Once they had made a few points on either side, Kyle seemed to loosen up and the other men could finally relax into the game.

  When Trey managed to land an accidental elbow in Kyle’s side, everyone tensed up, waiting for him to blow. While Kyle tensed up, he also seemed to relax a little, and when they started back up, he only played harder, giving as good as he got.

  A few fouls later both Gabe and Roman winced as Trey hobbled off the court. “Don’t just watch me,” he grumbled at his brother, “why don’t we switch positions on the court and you guys take a hit or two.” Gabe opened his mouth and Trey pointed a finger at him. “And don’t you give me the ‘I have young children excuse,’” Trey sat down hard on the bench with a groan, “I’ve got two kids now, too.”

  Roman threw a towel at Trey’s head. “Welcome to the club.”

  “Well, I'm taking a break,” Trey bit back. Picking up the towel, he chucked it at Kyle, but the towel arched and dropped a good two feet short of the target. “Why don't you take a breather, or a couple laps around the court and burn off some of that rage before you put me in the hospital, Bruce Banner.”

  Dax got a good laugh on that quip. “Well, maybe Kyle’s just trying to drum up some extra business.”

  Kyle picked up the towel and used it to clean off the ball before flinging it back at Trey. “Quit your whining, DeLuca.”

  Trey looked at Gabe and pointed a finger at Kyle. “Are you going to let him say that kind of thing about our family?”

  Gabe finished off a long sip of water. “He was talking about you, not me.”

  A soft trill of noise came from Kyle’s bag and he lowered the bottle from his lips as he listened to the sound. The noise was more distinctive the second time, the hollow whistle of locomotive piped through the air.

  Kyle quickly fished the phone out of his pocket while the others looked on, confused.

  “Hey.” He wanted to say more but he was a little out of breath.

  “Hey,” Stella replied, “how are you?”

  He smiled and turned away from the group, putting his back to them. “Isn't that my line, since I'm the medical professional?”

  When he heard her laughter, he had hope. He could work with his almost decent sense of humor.

  “I'm really sorry about the other day,” she paused and he could almost see her reaction even though they were only on the phone, “okay, for the last week or so.”

  “I’m not keeping track.” Kyle was having a hard time getting close enough to the speaker. He didn't want to miss anything. “I just want a chance to make it up to you.”

  “You? What did you do?” Stella gasped or sighed, he couldn’t quite decide which. “I'm the one that needs to explain why I was so off with you.” She paused for a moment and he struggled to tell if it was a problem with the phone line or something else. “Kyle-”

  “Stella, let me come over and talk to you.” He was already reaching for his bag.

  “Not now, please.” He could hear a difference in her voice, a slightly stuffy sound that told him that she'd been crying.

  “Come on, Stella,” he didn't care if the other guys could hear him. “Tell me what's wrong, babe. Let me help.”

  “I had a biopsy.” He heard the words rush out from her lips, but even added to what he ‘thought’ he knew, the reality of it staggered him. Kyle leaned against the post that held the basketball backboard and hoop, his forehead touching the cold metal in the chill of the night. “The day I came to your office,” she explained, “the hospital called to schedule my mammogram and the nurse reminded me that it had been five years.”

  She didn't have to say anything else. Five years was a big hurdle, and he understood why it would have made her worry.

  “I wish you would have said something.”

  “We were supposed to be fun for each other, remember?” A harsh laugh burst from her lips. “You didn't need to see me freak out, but that's what I did anyway. I convinced myself that it was going to go the way it has every other year, but there was a mass and I had to go back in for more tests.”

  “Stella, what happened with the biopsy?”

  The line went quiet, almost too quiet.

  “I do
n't have the results yet. I don't even know why I called.”

  “I'm glad you did, babe. I was going out of my mind worrying.”

  “And I guess,” she started slowly, “that's why I owed you this call, and myself too.” He heard a sniffle through the line and wished he was there with her instead of a couple of miles away. “This can't be fun for you. And I owed it to you to let you know so we’re both on the same page. I think it's best if we just let things go back to where they were before-”

  “Before, what?” He didn't understand the panic he felt, clutching the phone in his hands until he wondered when he'd crush it. “Before, when I was an ass? No thanks, I’m hoping I’m better than that now.”

  “You were always better than that, Kyle. I'm the one who should have known better. I wanted to be with you and I took the chance and I don't regret it, not at all. You were everything I dreamed of and then some. But there's no way this can end well, and I'm going to end whatever this is,” she barely managed a breath as she rambled on, “because you don't need to deal with stuff like this-”

  “Stuff like this?” He cut in, unable to listen to her push him away again. “Babe, I'm here, and I’m not going away. If you say you don't want me, then fine. If you say you don't care for me,” he heard her groan on the other end of the call, “then okay, but I'm still going to be here for you.”

  He could feel his muscles aching from holding him up. He didn't care who was around him, listening in, he hadn't felt this scared in years and even then, it hadn't gnawed at him like this.

  “You should know that Frenemies thing you keep talking about isn’t enough for me. I want more. I want you-”

  “If this ‘thing’ comes back- if I have to go through this fight again-”

  “You’ll beat it, but you’ll have me there with you every step of the way, because I love you, Stella. Every gorgeous, stubborn inch of you. And I’d tell you in person if you would let me-”