Keeping Claudia (Toby & Claudia Book 2)

by Suzanne McKenna Link

  April put an arm around me and yelled to her cousin, Sophie, to get me a drink. Sophie poured something into a clear plastic cup and passed it to Marla.

  I felt numb, but a part of me still felt guilty for how disastrously the night had finished. “April, I’m so sorry. This was a terrible end to your party.”

  “Here you go.” Marla handed me the cup and said the unexpected. “On the contrary, chicklette, the ending of this bachelorette was epic. Everyone hated that prick.” She lifted her own plastic cup. “Raise your glasses, ladies. I want to toast to Robert Pace finally getting what he deserves.”

  While I watched, the rest of the bridal party cheered in unison.

  April rested her head on my shoulder and squeezed me to her. “The night was fabuloso, chica.”

  While Anita and Isabella nattered to each other in hushed Spanish, Marla gave me a pointed look. “It was a good night, but not for you so much, huh?”

  There was no denying the way Toby had left me—angry and distant. Even if they hadn’t heard his words, everyone in the limo had witnessed him stalking off.

  “I know you don’t want to hear me say you’re better off without him, but you are,” Marla said. The other girls in our group grew quiet. A few heads fell back, nodding off.

  Refusing to respond, I forced stale air from my lungs and settled for watching the world roll by outside the tinted window. Our driver guided the vehicle down the neighborhood streets to drop each of the bridesmaids off at her front door until it was only Marla, April and I left.

  The limousine slid to a stop, and as the driver walked around to open the door, Marla shimmied along the bench seat, clutching her sequined bag. She hugged and kissed April and then me, too.

  “What was all that niceness about?” I asked April as soon as the door shut behind her.

  Smiling, April finger brushed the back of my hair. “You know, Marla only acts hateful because she’s jealous.”

  “She’s jealous? Of me? Yeah, right.”

  “Oh, but she is. You’re poised and confident, and you have something she always wanted.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Marla’s very pretty and whiplash smart, not to mention she’s got more junk in her trunk than me. What could I possibly have that she wants?”

  “Toby.”

  “Pfft shah.” I waved a hand.

  “It’s the truth,” April said. “She thinks I don’t remember, but I do. When her girlfriend, Becca, went out with Toby, there was a lot of bitterness between them, but it wasn’t because Becca spent too much time with him—like Marla wanted everyone to believe. It was because Marla had a massive crush on Toby, too.” April’s gaze hinged on mine. “I guess she never quite got over being overlooked by him.”

  The limousine rolled to a stop in front of April’s house. I huffed at a loose strand of hair that had fallen into my eyes and pushed off the seat toward the door. “Do your parents have any liquor in the house? I got sidetracked earlier, and now I really want to drink more than before.”

  The DeOro house was quiet. Everyone was asleep. April and I tiptoed into the kitchen, swiping a bottle of tequila and two shot glasses from her parents’ liquor cabinet, and went to her bedroom. She poured us both shots and handed one glass to me. I sniffed the amber liquid and scrunched my nose.

  “Don’t smell it. Just hold your breath, and toss it back,” she said, demonstrating with her own.

  I smiled at her. “You are so badass. How’d we ever become friends?”

  “I told you that you needed a friend, and I followed you around every day until you adopted me,” she said and refilled our glasses.

  We both laughed at the memory of how we’d met. After two more shots, we lazily sprawled across her canopied childhood bed.

  “What a night,” I mumbled, my gaze pinned to the pink gauzy material of the canopy over our heads.

  She rolled over and hugged me to her side. “Oh, chica, this hasn’t been the easiest time for you, helping me plan my wedding when you’ve had so much heartache. What happened with Toby?”

  “Oh, I had this crazy idea that if I dressed this way I’d get his attention and somehow we’d get back together.” I laughed airily, as if it didn’t matter. As if my heart hadn’t been ripped in two.

  April poured another round of shots and pushed a glass into my hand. Not waiting for me, she tipped hers back and downed it.

  I swirled the liquor in my glass. “Do you know what Pace told me?”

  She wiped her lips with a thumb. “From what the guys were arguing about, I’m guessing it had something to do with Lacie and her mother.”

  I gave her a pointed look. “He said Toby was sleeping with both of them.”

  April waved a dismissive hand, unimpressed by the natter. “Rob was notorious for spreading the most horrendous rumors, like Lacie’s mother was sleeping with the upper class guys, and that Lacie and her were doing threesomes with Jackie’s boyfriends. So gross.”

  “He also said Jackie got pregnant.”

  “Rumors of a pregnancy circulated for a while.” She confirmed my deepest fears. “But really, you should talk to Toby and find out what really happened. If it is true, you need to remember it happened years ago before you even knew anything about him.”

  “Jeez, April, don’t you think I know that?” I did the shot and shoved the squat glass back at her. “The problem is he kept it from me when he had plenty of opportunities to tell me.”

  The glasses clinked as she dumped them on the nightstand and rolled over to face me.

  I picked up a thick strand of her hair and one of my own and began braiding them together, like I’d done when we were younger.

  “Maybe he was afraid to tell you,” she whispered.

  “Afraid? Why?” My fingers kept moving, mechanically weaving our black and brown hairs together.

  April pillowed her hands under her cheek. “Look at where he comes from compared to where you come from.”

  “So somehow this is my fault?” I sat up quickly, yanking on our joint braid.

  “Owww!” April bellowed and tugged me back down. “I’m not saying it’s your fault, just that it can be intimidating to live up to your high expectations.”

  Her words swirled like daggers through the air. It got so quiet; the only sound was the soft snores of Kahlo, the DeOro’s cat, on April’s bedroom windowsill.

  “Chica, this one was pretty heavy. I mean, the girl’s dead for heaven’s sake.”

  “I know,” I said, grounding it with a heavy sigh. “Tell me about her. What was Lacie like?”

  “She was quiet and unlike most of the girls Toby usually went for. She kept to herself. They had a strange relationship, the two of them, kind of reserved, not a huggy-kissy thing like other couples. Lacie had been going through something at home with her father, and I think because Toby had issues with his own dad, he commiserated with her on some level. Boy, he was protective of her. You must remember her suicide. It was all over the news the spring of our senior year.” April grabbed her iPad from the bedside table, typed in a few words, finger-scrolled the screen, and finally, handed me the tablet. “You held my hand while we said prayers for her in church.”

  My breath caught in my chest at the image of a young, pretty girl with opalescent-like pale skin and short black hair, much like Leah’s. The photograph, obviously a school photo, was butted up against the title of the article, “Local opioid OD takes another life.” Cold flittered up my arms, but I couldn’t drag my eyes from the image of the girl with sad brown eyes and a forced smile. She was Toby’s Lacie, the girl who had meant more to him than any other past girlfriend.

  If she’d meant so much to him, how could he justify sleeping with her mother?

  “I remember reading about the suicide.” I laid the tablet on the bed in front of me, little bits of memory falling into place—the church mass, our town in mourning, and the community coming together over the sadness of a young life lost so needlessly. Even though most of us didn’t know her, she’d be
en one of our own. “If the rumor is true, Lacie must’ve been so confused—loving Toby and then finding out about him and her mother. I can’t begin to imagine what that would be like.”

  “Confusing for all parties.” April started to undo our braided locks. “A girl lost her life, a mother lost her daughter and—”

  “—someone got pregnant,” I added.

  “Honestly, I don’t give any merit to the rumors about that,” April said. “Most likely Pace started them to deflect fingers being pointed at him. He was bad news, but I suppose to a girl with self-esteem issues like Lacie, he probably seemed like a big deal.”

  Pace had only become more of what he’d been in middle school.

  I flexed my toes in annoyance. “How could Toby let himself get in the middle of all of it?”

  “The thing is none of us are perfect, chica. We’ve all done stuff we’re not proud of. Imagine if the things you did wrong were out in the open for everyone to see and judge?” She lifted her shoulder, nudging me. “Now think how much worse it’d feel if no one let you forget or forgave you for those mistakes?”

  Pain struck me like a sharp blow to the chest. Toby had done wrong, and a girl had died. I could imagine what knowing that felt like for him. In the past, he’d internalized and held onto pain. And guilt. I sank sideways onto the bed. Tears of empathy spilled onto April’s bedspread.

  April handed me a tissue from the box aside her bed and shifted to lie next to me. “He was really messed up about it, and talking about it was absolutely off limits. He would go off the deep end if we so much as mentioned Lacie’s name, so we shut up about it. Her mother moved out of town, and eventually the gossip died away.”

  Toby’s words screamed in my head, and it suddenly became clear to me.

  He didn’t need me to defend him. All he needed from me was to accept him, as he was.

  “God, I’m so stupid—so, so stupid. Where’s my phone?” I sat up, but the room whipped around me like a carnival ride. I flopped back onto the bed. “Call him. Call him for me.”

  Chapter 38 • Toby

  The taillight of the girls’ limo faded into the darkness of the night. I felt like someone had poured concrete down my throat, and it had hardened in my chest.

  I turned and headed around the back of the building and waited until the thick metal back entry door swung open with a squeal. Dan and Keith shuffled out, each of them carrying equipment. I went into motion immediately, grabbing the high-hat cymbals and bass drum from Dan and loading them into the back of the van.

  When we were done, Bones pinched a cigarette from his pack. “I’m assuming the reason you left so quick after our last number is the same reason Pace is sporting that matching set of lovely new shiners?”

  “Just taking care of some business that was long overdue,” I said.

  Bones took a gulp from his leather-encased flask and then offered me some. I’d have been lying if I’d said I’d didn’t want it—didn’t want to quiet the dark, ugly feelings swirling uncontrolled inside me with a good amount of hard core, high-proof spirits.

  But I turned it away.

  R.J. and Keith shook my hand, but when I turned to Dan, he opened his arms wide and embraced me. “I’m going to miss you, man,” he said, clapping my back. “If you ever get the hankering to play, call me.”

  “I’ll miss it, but I have other things to take care of,” I said.

  “Yeah, I know.” Dan stepped away and gave my shoulder one final thump. “You’re ‘da man with the plan. I expect an invite to your mansion one day.”

  “Ditto. Don’t forget the little people when you’re rich and famous.” I wished them luck, and we went our own ways. As I neared my Jeep, the engine started up. The headlights flashed on, and it began rolling toward me. Ray, behind the wheel, rolled to a stop so I could hop in the passenger side. Amy was in the back seat.

  “Y-you did the right thing tonight. It was a long time in coming,” he said.

  “Yeah, it was,” I agreed, leaning my head back, closing my eyes, and dropping into silence.

  The night had started out on an extreme high with the crowd’s response to my last play date with Young Cranky Old Guys, but it had quickly transformed to a series of extreme lows. Pushing Claudia away, not once but twice in a matter of hours, and knowing she was lost to me, once and for all, capped off with taking Pace down.

  The one last thing I hadn’t leveled with Claudia about, the one thing I found the hardest to talk about had finally made an ugly entrance. Like he’d done in school, Pace had gone and shot his mouth off, spewing his embellished, lying sack of shit version of it. The truth was he didn’t understand. No one really did. Except Jackie.

  I would go to my grave before I inflicted any more pain on that woman.

  “You hear about that storm they’re talking about? It’s one of those Nor’easters. Supposed to be, like severe,” Amy said from the back seat.

  “Fire Island’s gonna get slammed,” Ray added.

  I dug into my pocket for my cell. I’d been watching the storm coverage and was hoping it would blow out to sea. The beach house would need to be fortified. I had called Sal earlier to find out what provisions they’d used in the past. The newly renovated Fire Island rental property was already reserved for the summer months, and now it was my job to make sure that investment was safeguarded.

  As I checked the path of the storm, my phone vibrated in my hand. The notes of “Your Song” began softly playing.

  My stomach clenched, and I stared at my cell, not sure what to do.

  “You gonna answer that, or did you forget how?” Amy wisecracked.

  I swiped the answer button and put it to my ear. “Hello?”

  “Yo, papi,” April said, her voice lilting. “Claudia is over at my house. Get over here, pronto. She needs you.”

  “She wants to talk to me?” I asked, unable to keep the surprise out of my voice.

  “I know that must be a shock, but you owe her. Besides, I don’t think she’ll be doing a lot of talking.”

  With that, she ended the call.

  When Ray pulled up in front of my house, I fished around in the glove compartment for an extra set of keys. The jewelry box was in there, too—admittedly not the best place to leave an expensive engagement ring. Maybe I’d been unconsciously hoping it’d get stolen.

  I grabbed the ring and my keys and got out. Ray got out, too, leaving Amy alone in the Jeep.

  “What can I do to help?” he asked.

  “I need to head out to Fire Island as soon as possible. But Bernie,” I said. “I’d take her with me, but I won’t chance putting her in danger. Can you take care of her until I get back?”

  “Sure, no problem. Amy likes dogs. She’ll be happy to help.”

  “Thanks, man.” I leaned over and pulled him in for a quick bro hug. “Take the Jeep. I’ll use the pickup. If you want some privacy, you and Amy can hang out here. Just make sure you clean the sheets.”

  In the darkness, I couldn’t actually see his face turn red, but I knew it was. Amy was sweet. He deserved someone like her.

  He recovered quickly. “Don’t worry ‘bout anything here—the house or Bernie. I’ll t-take care of them both.”

  Ray was a good friend—my best friend.

  I quickly packed a bag, threw it in the pickup and drove north, cutting through the eclectic neighborhoods of Sayville towards April’s house. The wind picked up, and even in the night sky, I could see the clouds rolling in, the feel of the storm colonizing in the air. My thoughts mirrored the swirling tempest above me.

  I could’ve refused April, but when she said Claudia needed me, my resistance flatlined. It wouldn’t help, but April was right. I owed Claudia some sort of explanation.

  I pulled up outside the colonial blue, two-story home, turned off the ignition, and rested my head on the steering wheel. What happened with Lacie and Jackie was so screwed up. How could I explain it to Claudia so that she didn’t look at me like I was the scum of the earth?


  In my peripheral vision, I saw the front storm door open. April and Claudia came out, still dressed in their crazy eighties costumes. With a fist in my throat, I lifted my head and watched them descend the front steps, huddled together. Claudia must’ve been too upset to walk by herself.

  It was painful to watch, and I looked away for only a second when I heard them scream. I jumped out of the truck and ran towards them, finding them laid out, flat on the grass. I stopped a few feet in front of them.

  There were no tears.

  “What the hell?” I stood hand on hips surveying them.

  April propped herself on an elbow and smiled up at me. “We fell down.”

  They were shit-faced.

  I blinked a few times, not sure whether to laugh at the absurdity of the situation or collapse with relief that it wasn’t the tragedy I’d imagined. It was sloppy, but the two of them managed to sit up, only to begin giggling. I bent down and helped April to her feet first. The unmistakable smell of alcohol hit me in the face. With her upright and somewhat balanced, I reached for Claudia.

  “Upsy-daisy.” I put her arm around my neck and hoisted her to her feet, but she wasn’t steady enough for me to let go. Again I smelled the alcohol.

  “You just said ‘upsy-daisy.’ That’s sooo cute.” She put a hand on my head and ruffled my hair like a little boy. I was torn between laughing and groaning.

  “Oh, mamí, I’m such a terrible friend getting you drunk. Thank goodness the wedding isn’t this week.” April listed to one side and fell against me, reaching forward to put a hand on Claudia’s shoulder. “Tequila hangovers are nasty.”

  “Oh, no. No, no. I’ll be f-fine!” Using my chest as a launching pad, Claudia pushed off me and tipped into April, arms open, engulfing her in an exuberant hug. “You’re my bestest friend. You always tell me the truth, and I love you so much.” Challenged by uncooperative feet, Claudia tumbled against April, squeezing her friend’s face and giving her a sloppy kiss.

  April tottered backwards under the weight of the overfriendly assault.