Love's Dream Song

by Leesmith, Sandra

  For several minutes he remained still. Autumn silently willed him to confide in her. “She was Enrique’s sister. You told me that.”

  After taking a deep breath, he spoke. “Yes. She was younger than Enrique and I. I’d loved her for years but I never told anyone. I wanted to wait until she grew up so that she would be sure she really loved me and wasn’t just infatuated.”

  “She must have loved you, Jess.” How could any woman not?

  “I asked her to marry me after I came home from the army. She’d been away to college.”

  A smile sounded in his voice and Autumn struggled with unwanted jealousy.

  “We had a month together.”

  The same amount of time she and Jess had been dating.

  “I had to come back to the ranch—business, and my father.”

  There was bitterness now, but Autumn didn’t interrupt.

  “That was when it happened.”

  He tilted his head against the sandstone and paused. Autumn waited until he started to lift the flute to his lips. She reached across the space and placed her hand on his arm.

  “Don’t stop.”

  The muscles in his arm corded into knots, revealing the extent of emotion within him. She pulled back her hand.

  “I have to know,” she told him.

  “Maybe you should.”

  His abrupt movement as he straightened startled her, but she kept silent. Accusation was there and she didn’t know why. “She was beautiful and innocent.” His voice caught slightly before he continued. “She’d never been touched by the dark side of life. Her family had sheltered her.”

  Autumn closed her eyes, remembering how Donny and Michael protected her.

  “She had a white stallion. No one could ride him but her. You see, she had a way with animals.”

  Autumn refrained from comment, sensing he needed to get out all the clutter of memories before he could cut to the painful truth.

  “Maybe that’s why she was the only woman who’d gotten through to me. I was wild and restless at the time. She could settle me down with just a smile.”

  Again Autumn fought jealousy as she tried to picture Jess as a youth. It was difficult to imagine the powerful and confident man she knew to be a reckless young man.

  The rambling tones changed into sharper, punctuated words and she knew he was finally getting to the story she needed to hear.

  “She was riding in the hills. Their ranch sits on the border and she got too close.” Jess pounded his thigh for emphasis.

  “Too close to what?”

  “Dope smugglers running coke.”

  The story was going to get ugly. She knew more from the tone of his voice than her limited knowledge of the vicious men who ran drugs. Stories had abounded in almost every country she’d lived in.

  “She trusted everyone. I can just picture her riding up to them. She probably asked if they needed anything.”

  Autumn sensed his shudder more than saw it. She started to reach out to him, but dropped her hand back into her lap when he started talking.

  “She never had a chance. They raped her first, then beat and abused her. Enrique found her, left to die a slow death in the desert.”

  An involuntary cry escaped her lips as she listened to the horror unfold. She may have been jealous of Jess’s feelings for Maria, but she would never wish the girl harm, let alone that kind of brutality.

  Silence settled around them after Jess finished his story. Questions swirled in her head, but now was not the time to ask them. Later, she could find out if the murderers had been found. But she did need to know if Maria’s death had sealed his heart to love.

  “Jess that was years ago.”

  “Doesn’t what I just said mean anything to you? Don’t you understand?”

  No, she didn’t understand, nor did she know why he was using such an accusing tone.

  “Don’t close your heart to love because of something that happened in the past,” she told him. “Put it behind you.”

  “Are you telling me that I should love again?” Incredulity raised his voice.

  “You can’t tell someone whether to love or not. Love is either there or it isn’t.”

  Moonlight shafted into the entrance of the cave. Her gaze shifted to his and became trapped. She couldn’t hear the rush of water outside because of the sudden pounding of her heart.

  “But what if there isn’t trust?”

  “It makes love painful, but you can’t stop the feeling.”

  Longings drifted and tugged inside her. Trust was not the issue here. She’d never done anything to cause mistrust. It went deeper, and he was making excuses. But experience taught her to be cautious.

  Jess shifted and she focused on the movement. She sensed the quality of indecision in him and wanted to reach out to comfort.

  He spoke in a quiet voice. “You have feelings and so do I.”

  His feelings were something she wanted to know more about. He appeared confident and self-assured, but sometimes, like now, there was a hint of loneliness and longing. She knew those feelings well.

  “I guess none of us can get enough love,” she commented as she grasped the nugget Real Tall Man had given her.

  “Sometimes we try too hard to find it.” He paused. “In places we have no right to look.”

  Autumn started to sit upright, but her chain had caught on the jagged rock behind her neck. When she leaned forward, her action jerked the chain. It broke and the nugget clattered to the stone floor. She twisted, trying to reach for it, but couldn’t find where it had rolled.

  Jess leaned toward her. “Here it is.” His breath fanned her cheek as he dropped it in her pocket. His fingers accidentally brushed against her breast. They both froze.

  For endless seconds he remained poised above her. Their scents mingled. His skin reflected in the dim moonlight. His heartbeat thundered—or was it her own?

  It seemed natural to reach out to him. Her fingers trembled slightly when she traced them along his jaw. The whiskered skin heightened her touch. Kiss me.

  Slowly, he backed away to his side of the cave. The rejection hurt, but she knew he realized the power of their attraction.

  With minimal effort, she could reach over and touch the warmth of his flesh, feel the sinews of strength, taste the salty male flavor of his skin. Her fingers uncurled as she took a shaky breath. She would give him time and space—for now.

  Shivers raced through her, but she didn’t move. She wanted to sit beside him and curve into his arms, but she knew her actions would not be welcome. There were still too many things to be resolved before they could indulge in such powerful inner needs. Instead, with trembling fingers, she put the chain in her pocket with the nugget, picked up the flute, and placed it to her lips.

  The siren melody was not one she knew. It was an outpouring of emotions held in check. When she stopped playing, she could hear his steady breathing but knew he didn’t sleep. Nor would she. She peered out the mouth of the cave. As she watched the slow shift of the stars, she smoothed her turquoise nugget between her fingers. Calling upon all of Real Tall Man’s teachings, she gathered strength to face the dark hours of the night. She would need to face the dawn, also.

  The hours crept by slowly. At least the waters were receding. Just before the break of dawn, the mournful cry of a coyote echoed from the rim of the canyon. Its howl comforted her. When others from the pack answered back, Autumn smiled to herself. Her relatives would say they were a sign that the spirits were watching over and protecting her.

  Jess’s voice startled her as he spoke from the shadows where he sat. “The flood hasn’t upset their routine.”

  “No, they’re howling at the Creator,” Autumn informed him.

  She shifted to relieve stiff muscles and explained. “Surely you know the story about why the coyote howls at the stars at night.” The Navajo told many coyote stories. They passed them down to their children to teach morals and values.

  “I’ve heard it.” Jes
s’s boots scuffed on the sandstone as he moved his body. She could barely see his smile. The sight of it relaxed her somewhat.

  Several more cries bounced off the canyon walls as the coyotes howled again.

  A touch of humor laced her voice as she asked, “Hear the racket? They want the story.”

  “I doubt it. Don’t you know coyote stories are only told in winter?”

  “Will it bother you if I tell the tale? It will help pass the time.”

  He hesitated so long she thought perhaps he did object. Finally, he said no in a tone that sounded more like a grumble. Autumn settled back to tell the legend. Closing her eyes, she tried to imitate her grandfather. “It was believed that in the beginning, when the universe was first made, there were no stars. The People called upon the Creator, complaining that there was no light at night and that they always got lost.”

  “That would cause a problem,” Jess inserted with a chuckle.

  His laughter relaxed her. There was no mockery—only enjoyment. It warmed Autumn to her story. “The Creator called a council of animals and told them to go to the river and gather sparkling stones. He took one stone himself and placed it in the sky, calling it a star. He told them that it would be the Home Star, and never move. That way, you could always find your way home.”

  “The North Star,” Jess interrupted.

  “Probably what it refers to.” Autumn looked up at the disappearing stars before she continued.

  “Then the Creator ordered the animals to each throw sparkling stones in the sky and draw a picture of themselves. Every animal set to work, but the smaller ones could not carry enough stones to finish their picture. So the Creator gave Coyote a large bag of stones and asked him to help the small animals.”

  “And did he?” It was the appropriate question.

  “No. Coyote soon grew impatient and began flinging the stones in the sky. That’s why some of the star figures are unfinished and why the stars don’t all form clear patterns.”

  “It sounds like some people I know,” Jess mused. “They don’t do their work like they should.”

  She ignored his comment, figuring it must refer to his employees at the ranch. She didn’t want to get into that. She continued. “It was after doing this that the Coyote realized he had forgotten his own picture, and now there were no rocks left. So Coyote will howl forever at the sky because his picture isn’t there.”

  Again Jess shifted to lean out the mouth of the cave. “I think I’ll howl, too.”

  “Why?” She moved to sit beside him and look at the waning night. The action eased the aches in her stiff muscles.

  “Because, like that coyote, I don’t have what I want, either.”

  She looked down at the receding water and shook her head. “It will be a while before we can leave here. Even if the water is gone, there will be danger from quicksand. We’ll have to wait until it dries.”

  “That’s not what I meant.”

  A strange note sounded in his voice, and with the help of the predawn light, Autumn looked into his eyes. Was there desire in his gaze? Fire blazed through her. “Breakfast would be nice.”

  “True, but there’s more that I need.”

  * * *

  He hated himself for it. Maybe it was the near brush with death or the close confines of the cave, he didn’t know. All his senses clamored for one thing, and that was to have Autumn in his arms.

  Talking about Maria had helped for a while. Remembering the atrocities the drug smugglers had committed on the reservation got him through another hour. But these thoughts were always pushed aside by the clear images of her body next to his, naked and giving as they made love.

  “God forgive me,” he murmured as he moved to her side, “but I want you.”

  She backed away. He followed her retreat until she lay flat against the wall. Leaning over her, he stared at her mouth as if he could force it open with his look.

  “Yes,” she finally whispered. “I want you, too.”

  Her arms wrapped around his shoulders as if they had a will of their own. His lips pressed against hers, and before he kissed her again, she responded with the fire that had been smoldering all night.

  Suddenly, none of it mattered anymore—the destroyed ruins, the flood, the drugs. He couldn’t think. Resistance impossible. Every sense clamored for her touch.

  “Hold me,” she demanded.

  The cave spun in circles. Light began to filter inside. But Jess barely noticed. His whole body was tuned in to the woman in his arms. The night had been torture, with his mind waging the battle throughout these long hours. He had no business making love now, not to her. But he couldn’t convince himself anymore—her lure was too strong. And now that her arms were wrapped around him, he was trapped in a silken web.

  His fingers slid along satin curves. He had to struggle to keep his touch gentle. He wanted to release the primal power that was in him. His heartbeat thundered in his ears.

  Suddenly she stiffened. Concerned, he lifted his head and tried to peer into her eyes. What was wrong? Then he heard it. It hadn’t been his heart beating so loud. No—it was something else. An engine—and it was coming closer.

  Autumn pushed him off her and began to straighten her shirt. He kneeled in front of her, motionless except for his gaze. She hesitated and let him see the uneven rise and fall of breath that betrayed her emotions. It was painful to watch. He had to curl his fingers into the palms of his hands in order to restrain the unleashed passion.

  She reached across the small space and smoothed her palm across his cheek. His muscles tightened and he forced control. “It’s a helicopter. They’re searching for us,” she said softly.

  A shudder coursed through him as he took a deep breath. He turned his mouth into the palm of her hand and kissed it. This wasn’t over.

  The real world and its problems were hovering closer with each stroke of the helicopter blade. As he waited for its approach, he struggled to put his mind back on track. Logic demanded he be thankful for the interruption. There were too many loose ends to tie up, and involving himself with his prime suspect would only make the knots sloppy and unsound. He couldn’t afford that in his business.

  He turned from her and said, “Get the pack.” His voice sounded cold. He hated it when she flinched, but it had to be this way. “They’ll probably lift us out of here.”

  “It’s going to be tricky. This canyon’s narrow.” Her voice had iced, as well. “Take off your shirt and wave it at them.”

  He felt her gaze as he stripped. For a brief second he hoped the pilot wouldn’t see them.

  “They spotted us,” he shouted and shattered the fantasy. “They’re coming this way.”

  Noise shot back and forth between the canyon walls. The helicopter closed the distance and hovered above them. In spite of the rising sun’s glare, Jess could read the blue and red logo painted on the craft. “It’s a news chopper. Channel four.”

  “Phoenix,” Autumn muttered, almost to herself.

  Jess watched its careful maneuvers. Why were they here, and how had they known to look for them? Connie must have had something to do with this. “They aren’t going to be able to get all of us out of here in that,” Jess shouted above the noise.

  As if in response to his comment, someone spoke through a loudspeaker. “Are there just the two of you?”

  Jess signaled yes.

  “I’ll drop a sling and lift you to the top of the mesa, one at a time.”

  Jess acknowledged the signal and then hollered to Autumn, “We’ll leave the pack in the cave.”

  Autumn nodded.

  Jess grabbed at the rope that came swishing down to dangle in front of the cave. “Go on up,” he gestured because he doubted she could hear.

  She shook her head and motioned for him to go first.

  “You aren’t afraid, are you?”

  “Terrified.”

  He followed her gaze to the churning water. It was a dangerous maneuver to lift out of the canyon, but
they had no choice.

  “I’ll hold you and push you off when it’s safe. Don’t look down. Just hang on and try to remain steady until you’re clear of the rock walls,” he yelled. “You’ll be safe in the sling,” he assured her.

  He slipped the sling around her body. Her knuckles whitened as she gripped the rope. He leaned close and shouted, “Push away from the wall with your feet. You’ll swing free.”

  For a second, she closed her eyes and then opened them. He could sense her gathering inner strength from those ebony depths. Quickly he gave her instructions for landing before signaling the pilot to lift.

  “You’re going to make it.”

  She nodded.

  “Bend your knees when you land.”

  The rope swung in a wide arc as it took her weight. His stomach clenched with concern when she neared the opposite wall of rock, but the helicopter lifted her above danger. His breath came out in a whoosh of relief.

  It seemed like forever before the end of the sling dangled again within his reach. He took a firm grip on the line and sat with feet stretched in front of him, ready to push off from the rock. He wasn’t afraid. He’d been airlifted many times in the army. Suddenly he was soaring above the canyon walls. Muddy water tumbled below as he went higher and higher. When he cleared the canyon walls, the world opened up like a wide-screen movie. Autumn stood on top of a mesa waving him in. Her face was creased with lines of concern.

  The ground swept closer and closer, until suddenly, with a jolt, his feet touched the rugged rock. Autumn started running toward him. The rope went slack and he stepped clear.

  “We’re safe, now,” she assured him while he unhooked the sling. The chopper lifted.

  “You made it okay?” He studied her closely. “What did you think? It wasn’t so bad, now, was it?”

  “I was terrified.” She laughed.

  He smiled. The breeze lifted her hair and wrapped the strands around them. Her eyes were wild and triumphant, and suddenly he wanted to hold her.

  “You flew like the eagle,” he said instead.

  “It was…” She paused and seemed to struggle for the right words. “…like being free. I didn’t want to stop.”

  A sudden image of an eagle flashed in his mind and he remembered Daya’s words. You will find a woman to love at Coyote Springs, Swift Eagle.