Love's Dream Song

by Leesmith, Sandra

  “And what do you think that’s going to get you? Arlo and the others are probably doing you a favor by not welcoming you.”

  Her head shot up. “What do you mean by that?”

  “Do you honestly want to be pegged as a breed? You heard Riker the other day. He’s just one of hundreds.” He knelt in front of her and grasped her shoulders. “Is that what you want?”

  She straightened beneath his hands, her expression filled with resistance. He had to admire her courage, but he wanted to shake some sense into her.

  “What happened to make you so bitter?” Her words were spoken quietly but they jolted him as if they’d been shouted.

  He dropped his hands from her shoulders. How could he explain the endless fights in school? Or the way the children ostracized him at the age of ten for defending his grandmother?

  He could have survived the taunts and prejudice, he admitted as he sat down with a thump. It was his father’s failure that had broken his pride in his heritage.

  Jess settled in the sand. It was still warm from the day’s heat. The fire crackled but he barely registered the sound or the dance of the flames. His mind reeled as if it had been doused with alcohol—like his father’s must have.

  As if it were yesterday, instead of many years ago, he remembered the confusion he had felt as he watched a man he’d always believed to be strong crumble in the dust, bottle in hand, eyes reddened and speech slurred.

  Just another drunk Indian.

  The taunt echoed and Jess tried to shut it out. He heard those words every time he drove to town. The fact that so many Indians succumbed to alcoholism terrified him. He wouldn’t let that happen to him, nor would he bring a child into this world who might suffer as he had.

  A movement to his side brought his attention back from the hell of his childhood. Autumn had moved beside him; her quiet presence reassuring. She held her turquoise nugget between her fingers and quietly worked the stone. Firelight reflected on her olive skin. Beautiful. Her body sang with beauty.

  Jess shifted, just as uncomfortable with the new direction of his thoughts as he’d been with his past. He tried to think along another track, but his mind locked onto Autumn.

  Images flashed. He’d love to show her the wildness of the desert again, the speed of the horses, his home at night. Autumn always saw the beauty in nature, like he did. Maybe she truly wouldn’t care about the talk in town. Autumn had an inner strength that would carry her through every situation. He admired that.

  Her scent drifted around him and he inhaled it with pleasure. He could easily lean over and kiss her, but he didn’t. Instead, he traced his finger along the smooth line of her jaw. Her breath caught.

  “I can sense the hurt in you,” she said as she moistened her lips. “You mustn’t let the past tear you apart.”

  “I could forget the past.” He stared at her mouth. “If I kissed you now.”

  “I wouldn’t stop you, but forgetting the past won’t solve your problems.”

  He slid his fingers around her neck and bent to taste her lips—moist and sultry. Her breath mingled with his. The mists of passion took control. She smoothed her hand against his chest. The heat of her skin pressed against the pounding of his heart.

  He reluctantly let go of her and leaned away. He was right. Touching her made him forget the past, the drug operation, and the gunman who was possibly lurking nearby. He needed to think of the present.

  “When this is over…”

  His voice trailed off. She didn’t pursue the conversation.

  Silence settled between them, but not an easy one. Currents of tension electrified the air. In the distance, a coyote howled, but Jess made no comment about their shared stories. Nor did she. The fire crackled, but the sparks didn’t capture his attention.

  Her presence filled his senses. Her scent drifted to him in spite of the food and wood smoke. Each breath she took tightened the material across her breasts. His fingers tingled with memory of her soft skin. He ached at the thought of what could happen.

  He shifted. His insides tied into knots. Think about something else or you’ll never make it through the night. In vain he pictured his ranch hands around the chuck wagon, and even made an attempt to worry about the roundup. It didn’t last long. Thoughts of cattle, his foreman, and the long list of chores waiting at the ranch could not hold his attention when Autumn sat this close.

  * * *

  Autumn watched Jess’s restlessness and understood its cause. The tension between them crackled. Every nerve focused on the man beside her. If only she knew more about him. After the discussion tonight, she knew something in his past was linked to his reluctance to pursue the strong feelings between them. She had to make him bring it into the open. It had to be resolved before they could let their emotions run free.

  Jess stretched. “It’s going to be a long night,” he predicted. “You’d better hit the sack.”

  She watched him out of the corner of her eye as she straightened her bedroll on a spit of soft sand. Sharp awareness of his presence made a lie of her outward calm. What a couple of actors we are—pretending everything is normal. But what else could they do? Certainly not make love like they both wanted—not with a gunman possibly nearby.

  She stretched out on her sleeping bag and waited for Jess to set his traps in the canyon. While he was out of sight, she longed for his presence. It wasn’t just the uneasiness of knowing danger lurked. She wanted to recapture the moments of shared concern. Earlier, when they’d lunched in the canyon, it had been like old times.

  A gunman had threatened their lives today, but there had been shared glimpses of peace with their surroundings. They’d seen the mountain sheep and the eagle. Jess tried so hard to be Anglo, but his Indian values surfaced whenever he was out on the land.

  Jess outwardly appeared so confident that she hadn’t realized his inner turmoil over his mixed blood. What a pair they made. She’d been brought up Anglo and was trying to embrace some of her Indian heritage. Jess was trying to reject it. No wonder he didn’t want to pursue their relationship. What he wanted was a blonde who would make him forget his ancestry. Maybe Connie Turner—no. She shook her head. She couldn’t begin to picture the two of them together. Jess could fight his Indian values, but they were an integral part of him. He’d hate the flashy life Connie craved.

  Real Tall Man had told her that the conflict between the Anglos and Native Americans had its roots in the way each related to the natural world. The Anglo viewed the earth as something to conquer and subdue. The Indian viewed the earth as his mother, and his greatest desire was to live in harmony with it. She’d seen traces of this conflict in Jess. Now she knew what they were.

  “You’re not sleeping.” Jess’s voice broke into her thoughts as he returned to their camp. “I can hear the wheels spinning in your head.”

  “There’s a lot to think about.”

  “You aren’t afraid?” The concern in his tone touched her.

  “No. I was wondering what Dr. Davidson and the others were doing. They must be worried about us.”

  “They’ll probably head for the ranch tomorrow. They’ll send us some help.”

  “I wish we knew what was going on.”

  “There are no answers tonight, so give it some rest,” he advised.

  He appeared so relaxed, sprawled out on his bedroll. She resented his calm until she sensed that his inner turmoil matched hers.

  “Why don’t you sleep? I’ll keep watch and then wake you later for a turn,” he offered.

  Sleep was definitely a good idea. She hadn’t had much these past days and she’d put her body through a grueling test of stamina. “Wake me at midnight,” she conceded.

  Jess rose to put a piece of wood on the fire. She was asleep before he sat back down.

  She struggled in the early morning hours to keep her eyes open. After Jess had turned over his watch, he had fallen sound asleep. He was as tired as she. What she’d give to curl up next to him and catch up on more
hours of lost sleep.

  The moon shifted from one horizon to the opposite as time crawled. The sky sparkled with new constellations as the earth rotated. Crickets chirped their night song. Often she arose to put more wood on the fire. Those moments were the best. The crackle of renewed flame would sharpen her dulled senses, while the activity would spark new life into her tired body.

  Her bottom lip stung where she’d bitten it to keep awake. Several times, she stood and poked at the fire, but it did no good. As soon as she sat back down, her head drooped. The ten-pound weights on her eyelids became twenty. How could she stay awake?

  Just before dawn, the black velvet of sleep tempted her beyond endurance. Just for a minute, she thought. I’ll let go for just a minute. Her muscles relaxed and warmth enfolded her until an odd snap woke her up.

  Her eyes flew open, but she commanded her muscles to remain motionless. She could hear the rustle of clothing behind her. Jess was moving. Perhaps he was getting more firewood. She remained silent in case it was just an answer to nature’s call.

  There was no familiar thump and crackle of wood being tossed on the flame. In fact, she heard nothing at all. She started to roll over, but stopped. His footsteps sounded like they were heading away from camp.

  She listened. They crunched again, now father away. In a flash she stood and searched the campground. He was gone and had taken the rifle with him. She waited for five minutes, in case he might return. As soon as she knew he wasn’t going to, she followed in the direction he’d gone. It was pitch black; the moon had disappeared below the horizon hours ago. Of course, it hindered Jess’s movements also, but that proved to her advantage. Several times she located him by the sound of his footsteps.

  It surprised her when he didn’t head down the gulch toward the caves. He moved in a steady direction toward the rocky piles along the west side of the canyon. What was he up to?

  Ahead, an open space yawned, and Autumn stopped at its edge. She studied the shadows for endless seconds. Nothing moved. Had Jess crossed here?

  On her hands and knees she circled the rim of the clearing. She couldn’t feel any human footprints in the sand, only the tracks of several small animals. She listened as she rocked back on her heels. The usual night calls echoed in the stillness, but she heard no strange noises. She’d lost him. Her shoulders slumped.

  She closed her eyes and forced herself to concentrate. Her last reserves of inner strength were in there somewhere. She must find him, or she’d worry.

  Smoke.

  She straightened to her full height and focused on the faint whiffs that drifted in the breeze. Were they from their campsite? No. The wind came from the west ridge.

  She took care not to make a sound as she circled the clearing and moved toward the source of the smoke. A large pile of rock blocked her path, forcing her to move the long way around it. She hoped she hadn’t traveled too far to the east. She’d pass right by, and without the aid of the smoky smells, she wouldn’t even know it.

  Then she saw a flicker of light. Her knees weakened with relief. She’d found the campfire. She moved toward it with utmost care.

  She went several yards and paused. The faint murmur of male voices reached her ears. She couldn’t tell how many were there, or if they had a guard posted. She could be walking into a trap.

  For long moments she studied her surroundings. Nothing stirred. Every muscle strained in readiness while her heart raced. She inched closer to the camp. Finally, a few feet from the flaming light, the path opened into a clearing. Autumn plastered herself against the last protective boulder.

  She willed her heart to calm and her muscles to cease their straining pull. A scrappy juniper stood between her and the fire. She prayed it would be enough protection for her to escape notice as she eased around the rough edge of the rock.

  The second she saw them, she froze in place. Her vision blurred with pain and anger. Arlo stood with his back to her, talking to a stranger. So he had betrayed them.

  She wanted to scream and rail and beat her fists against his face for the lies, the cheating, the unforgivable destruction. How could he do this? Didn’t he know how it would pain Real Tall Man and the clan?

  She thrust her head against rough stone until it hurt the back of her scalp. Calm down. But closing her eyes could not shut out the sight.

  Maybe Arlo had found this camp by accident. Maybe this wasn’t planned. An inner voice insisted there had to be an explanation. Or maybe it was wishful thinking.

  She glanced around the rock and took another look at the campsite to see if Jess were there. If he’d found the camp, he could be hiding nearby.

  Conversation interrupted her speculation. She ducked her head back behind the rock.

  “Have you got the mules?” Arlo asked.

  “They’re tied up at the end of this box canyon.” The short, wiry blonde gestured behind him.

  “You’ll need ’em. Those packs are heavy.” She recognized Arlo’s voice.

  The other man shifted and Autumn caught a glimpse of his face. She didn’t know him. She’d remember the jagged scar that ran from his cheek into his red hair. He wasn’t one of Arlo’s guides.

  She’d find out soon enough when she’d captured them, but she wondered how she was going to pull it off. Sweat dampened her palms and trickled down her spine as she planned her attack. She could take both in a showdown, but the odds were against it.

  Then she saw it, three feet from her—a rifle. They’d left it leaning on a small boulder. Maybe she could get it before they saw her. Then again, maybe it wasn’t loaded. She couldn’t tell, but she’d have to take that chance.

  She closed her eyes and concentrated on the action she wanted. It played in her mind until she felt it would happen. She took a deep breath and spun from the rock. Grabbed the rifle, and stood with her feet planted apart.

  “Don’t move,” she shouted. “I’ve got you covered.” Arlo spun on his heel. The scar-faced man dropped to the ground. She started to move forward and assert her command. A small sound from behind warned her, but not soon enough. Suddenly a blinding pain shot through the back of her head. The black velvet she’d yearned for all night enfolded her.

  .

  CHAPTER 12

  Jess looked up at the cliff behind him. From its height he’d spotted the camp fire earlier and seen the men moving around it. Ahead, the terrain was gutted by a large ravine. To get to the camp, he’d have to cross it.

  Slowly he inched his way down the steep side, careful not to loosen rocks or make any other noise. Occasional comments reached him even though the men were out of sight.

  What a stroke of luck to have found the camp. He’d smelled the smoke and had hoped it would lead to the gunman. He’d bet his ranch that one of these men was in fact the one who’d shot at them yesterday.

  Arlo’s presence was a puzzle, though. He must have come across them much the same way Jess had. He wondered if Ross had, as Autumn claimed, been in the canyon yesterday. He’d soon find out.

  Jess stepped across the sandy bottom of the ravine and started to climb up the other side. A new voice joined the men.

  Autumn.

  Jess quickened his pace while his mind reeled. She could have awakened and tried to follow him. Maybe she’d smelled the smoke, as he had. The only other possibility sent waves of dread through him. He did not want to contemplate she had planned the meeting.

  Halfway across the ravine, the tone of the voices changed. Arlo shouted, his words spurred Jess onward.

  “Don’t kill her. She’s innocent.”

  A mean laugh drowned out Arlo’s words. “You think you can stop me?”

  Several gunshots rang out and Jess dove for cover. He listened, but silence echoed in the canyon. Another shot zinged past. Quickly, he lifted his rifle and pumped lead into the air.

  “Throw down your weapons. You’re surrounded,” he shouted, praying the ruse would work.

  His answer was another volley of shots, this time aimed in his di
rection.

  Jess scrambled down the ravine and ran several yards to a new location. From the direction of camp he could hear sounds of action.

  He mounted the side of the steep ravine and ducked behind a large boulder, expecting more gunfire. None came. He crawled around the large stone in time to see two men riding their horses down the canyon. Behind them, attached to a lead, was Arlo’s mount. Jess swore when he saw the two bodies thrown across its back. They had to be Arlo and Autumn.

  There was no further need to proceed with caution. Jess ran, pausing only long enough to aim his rifle. He knew the shots were useless—the men were already out of range, but it relieved a small measure of his frustration.

  His last shot echoed as he watched the horses disappear. In the predawn light he could barely see the trail of dust, but the sight of it raised anger and dread. Where were they taking Autumn and Arlo? What would they do to them if they were still alive.

  Thoughts of Maria’s body burned into his brain—the torture and mutilation. If they touched a hair on Autumn’s head, there would be hell to pay.

  And Arlo. After he had protested Autumn’s innocence, the men would know he suspected them. There was little chance they’d let the Indian live if, in fact, he wasn’t already dead.

  Jess closed his eyes and willed his mind to a calm he was far from feeling, but needed if he was going to be of any help. Instinct urged him to run after the men, but they were on horseback. He must think this through.

  With methods he’d learned from Daya, he visualized himself as strong and clever. In his mind he played the scene of capture and finally pictured Autumn, safe and secure in his arms. It didn’t occur to him to question the fact that he’d fallen into the ways of Dineh. He knew the method worked. He’d used it often in the army.

  The danger Autumn and Arlo were in demanded he use every resource available. If his Apache teachings could save them, he’d use them.

  At the campsite, he searched for clues to what had happened. A pool of blood dampened the hard-packed earth, forming a thick mud that was quickly drying in the morning heat.