All My Heart (The Clover Series)

by Stewart, Danielle

“That was quite a speech you gave,” I say, trying to shake out the fantasy of him punishing me for not playing nice with others earlier downstairs. What is happening to me?

  “I meant it. It’s the only way we’ll win this.” He hasn’t looked up from the map. He doesn’t see I’m wearing a pair of boy-cut panties that might pass as tiny shorts unless he looked close enough to know better. I’m still in his T-shirt, the one he gave me while I was washing clothes yesterday. I haven’t taken it off. I can’t. The smell of it, the feel of it is such an odd mix of comforting and sexiness that I’m a little addicted to it. If he were looking over here he’d see I have shed my bra and my excitement for him is showing right through this thin gray shirt. But he’s still looking at that damn map.

  “I’m going to bed,” I say, trying to sound slightly sultry, but again he seems too distracted.

  “Jordan, I need you to do something for me,” he says, leaning over to his bag. I can see his bicep tighten and all I can picture is him lifting me over his head in some dirty dancing type move. I am grateful I was raised a lady. I’m glad my parents were strict, because my internal voice just screamed, “Anything, I will do whatever you want me to. Come over here and let me start doing it.”

  “Sure,” I say, walking over, hoping he smells the coconut lotion I’ve just lathered over me.

  “The journal. Luke found Brent’s case in it. But he got stuck on something. The medical examiner seemed to put an additional code on some parts of this case and he can’t break it.”

  “I can take a look,” I say, still only thinking of our bodies pressed against each other. He hands the book over but still hasn’t caught a glimpse of me.

  “You can’t tell Devin,” he says, and I’m starting to understand why he isn’t making eye contact. I can tell he’s doing something he doesn’t feel right about; he’s disobeying some kind of instruction and, for Click, I know that is a turmoil he hates to live in.

  “Okay. I won’t.” I want to know more, but I don’t want to pull him deeper into this if I don’t have to. His face already reads torn. I don’t want to make it worse for him.

  “It mentions Rebecca,” he says flatly as he clears his throat. “Maybe even as a suspect. Finding that sent Devin off the deep end. It’s why he took off without saying anything. He’s down here trying to settle all these scores and the idea she might have actually been the killer . . . it shook him up.”

  “What did Rebecca say?”

  “He didn’t ask her. He didn’t tell her about her name in the book. The only ones who know are Devin, Luke, me, and now you. And it has to stay that way. He asked me to hold onto the book, to keep it safe, but no one, not even you, was supposed to see it.”

  “So why are you having me do this? Do you think she did it?”

  “She didn’t kill him.”

  “How do you know?”

  “There are some skills you’re proud to acquire. The pride I felt the first time I nailed the combat water survival was something I’d never felt before. When I could march ten miles with a full pack and barely break a sweat I felt like a superhero. But the ability to look in someone’s eyes and know if they’ve had the unfortunate burden of taking a life isn’t a proficiency I’m proud to have. It’s a superpower I’d gladly give up if I could. It’s very easy for me to judge whether Rebecca had anything to do with Brent’s murder. When you take someone’s life it changes you. Leaves this mark on you. No matter the circumstances or how justified it was. I’ve seen it in so many people. I look at her and I can tell she didn’t do it.” I know he’s talking about himself, about his friends, and I realize how raw his experiences are. How difficult his life has been.

  “So then why get the answers if you already know.”

  “Because Devin needs to know, and by the time he asks me to find out I think it will be too late. He’s playing with fire and the two of them are already on shaky ground. They won’t make it if this is an unknown out there between them.”

  “So you’re doing this to save Devin and Rebecca? To save them from themselves?”

  “I guess so. I made a promise to Devin. I can’t believe I’m going back on that.” He sits at the small desk in the corner of our room and stares back down at the map. I reach out to his shoulders, just to comfort him at first, but then, as his muscle tenses under my hand I feel excited heat flow through my body. I don’t know when I turned into a hormone driven animal, but all I can think about is rolling his chair back and straddling him. I shake that off as his hand reaches up and covers mine for a second. I knead the muscles of his neck, trying to work out the tension, the conflict in his heart.

  “You’re doing the right thing, Click. You always make the right choices.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “You’re always a gentleman. It’s why, no matter how much I keep hoping it happens, I don’t wake up to you crawling into bed with me.” I can see the side of his face go still, then break into a smile.

  “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. After that day in the car when you asked me to stop, I wasn’t going to start anything again until I knew it was what you wanted.”

  “I know I might seem like a real take-charge woman, but here with you I’m the opposite.” I continue massaging his neck, not quite ready for him to turn around. I’m nervous now that it’s out there. I’m afraid he’s about to give me the this isn’t the right time speech because if he does I just might die.

  He rolls his neck, leaning into my touch, moaning at the release my massage is giving him.

  “So am I supposed to take that as your way of telling me you’d like to continue what we started that day?”

  “Yes, that’s what I’m saying,” I whisper, leaning into his ear, nibbling the lobe and listening to a carnal rumbling moan flow through him.

  He swivels his chair around and I feel my heart thumping against my ribs and warmth spreading between my legs. I watch his face as he realizes what I’m wearing, or maybe what I’m not wearing.

  “That shirt has never looked so good,” he says as he slides his hands under the fabric and grips my sides firmly. He runs his hands up until his thumbs are brushing the bottom of my breasts. I’m looking into his eyes and I realize I’ve never had such anticipation for something, such a desire to kiss and lick and claw someone. Judging by his breath and giant grin, he feels the same.

  “I know how I come off,” I say, needing him to understand this. “I am a bossy bitch out there.” I gesture toward the door, toward the outside world. “In here,” I choke out, “I’m not, like I don’t . . . I’m just not sure what you’re expecting. Guys in the past, I think they assume I’m some freak. A dominatrix with handcuffs and whips, just because of the way I act at work and . . .” I’m not sure how I expect Click to understand what I’m saying since I don’t even have a handle on my point.

  He tugs me in a little closer to him, in between his parted legs. “Jordan, I already know who you are. In here, out there, I already see you. I already know you.” I want to lean in and kiss him but he’s on his feet before I have a chance to even think. He backs me up to the wall and wraps his hand up in my hair, kissing me passionately, kissing me like I’ve never been kissed before in my life. There it is again, that need, that desperation. I pull at his shirt and he breaks away from me long enough to slide it off, and then swiftly pulls mine off as well. I’m breathless, I’m speechless. I’m starving for him.

  Our bodies press back together and his tongue finds its way to my ear, my neck, down to my breast. This is all I need from him, this will be enough to drive me to the brink of ecstasy. I hadn’t been sure who Click would be—the gentleman, the patient man—but I’m quickly getting my answer. His fingers grip the lace waistband of my panties; he yanks them down and I step out of them. Ready. Ready for him.

  He’s kissing my thighs, his tongue skimming me all the way up to my neck again, his hands tantalizing my breasts. I can’t take another pinch, another twist, another second without him inside me. I y
ank at the buckle of his belt and pull it off in one very impressive, whip-like move. I can feel his lips curve into a smile. “Nice move.” He laughs into my neck.

  “It was luck, not practice,” I assure him as I now fumble with the button on his jeans. After a minute he helps me, and his pants drop to his ankles. “See, I’m no professional.”

  “You’re doing just fine,” he says as he reaches behind him to his wallet. He tugs at the corner of the foil wrapper and slides the condom down onto himself. In a decisive and swift move he leans down and grips my thighs. He lifts me and I feel his impressive hardness against my leg. I’ve never done this against a wall. I’ve never been with a man who could, or would choose to hold me up while we made love. I’ve been with men who do no work, men who do unnecessary work I wish they wouldn’t, but I haven’t been with a man so desperate for me that the bed, just ten feet away, is too far. A man who would let his arms grow tired, maybe even cramp, just to have me now. Right now.

  I wrap my arms around his neck and arch my back trying to give him the best angle to plunge into me. His body is amazing, toned and tensed, perfectly sculpted, the body of a god. He grips my legs tightly as he slides inside, diving into me with no hesitation, with no gentlemanly questions. And I love it, I love that he’s taken me, owning me against this wall. He’s thrusting hard, not coddling me, not asking if I’m okay, or if he should stop. That isn’t the Click I want right now. I want this one, the one whose face is buried in my neck as he drives unapologetically into me.

  I can feel myself nearing climax and a primal force comes over me. I clutch him close, pulling him in, sinking my teeth into his neck. Hard. Too hard, but I can’t stop myself. I run my hands frantically across the stubbly hair of his brush cut and then claw my way down his back. I’m out of my mind with passion. I call his name, loud, over and over again as he brings me to ecstasy. “Click, Click, Oh my God, Click!” I hear him laughing softly and trying to quiet me. The walls of this old house are not thick and we have too many damn roommates I have forgotten about as I chant his name nearly at the top of my lungs.

  As the reality comes back to me, I slap my hands to my mouth and my cheeks burn with embarrassment. I’m mortified and satisfied all at once.

  “Click, they all must have heard me,” I say as he lowers me back to my feet.

  “I want to pretend that bothers me right now, but I really can’t. Having a girl scream your name so everyone can hear is pretty much every guy’s dream,” he says as he pushes my hair off my face.

  “How am I going to face them tomorrow?” I slide my arms around him, still feeling his hardness against me. “There’s only one thing I can do,” I say, shrugging my shoulders and slipping away from him.

  “What?” he asks, looking slightly frightened.

  “Make you scream my name the same way, so we’re even.” I lace my fingers in his and tug him toward the bed. His smile is so wide it makes me smile, unable to hold my deadpan look. I push him onto his back on the bed and straddle him. I slide him inside me and watch as he gasps, his face turning serious now. This is no laughing matter.

  “I’m not sure I’ll even have time to yell your name. You are so beautiful, Jordan, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” His hands splay across my cheek and pull me down for a kiss. I love the feel of his tongue exploring mine, but I honestly could have listened to him talk all night about how he sees me. What he thinks of me. I break the kiss and stare into his eyes as I ride him, matching his rhythm, wanting to give him all he’s given me, and more.

  “I see you, Jordan,” he whispers. “I know who you are. I already know you.” His words aren’t the words of sex or the lusty whispers of casual encounters. They are words of love. They are the words my heart has always needed to hear and are coming from a man I never dreamed I’d be with. A man so different from what I expected for myself, but I was wrong.

  His breathing speeds up, his hands clamp down on my hips, quickening my pace on top of him. A wave of pleasure rumbles through his body, a tense quivering. He pulls me down to him and whispers my name. “Jordan, holy shit, Jordan.”

  “That’s not fair. That wasn’t loud enough.” I pretend to pout.

  “Oh, I forgot.” He smiles, brushing my hair aside as I lay my head on his chest. “We’ll have to try again.” He kisses my forehead and runs his hand down my back.

  “I really thought you were going to be more of a southern gentleman about all that. I’m so glad you weren’t.”

  “I’ll hold open every door for you, but in bed, you’ll always see another side to me.”

  “I like it,” I say with wide eyes and a smile. “I’ve been waiting so long.”

  “You’re telling me,” Click laughs as he pulls me in tighter to his body. I feel so connected to him right now. Like I know him better than I know anyone on this planet.

  “Click, I promise I won’t say anything to Devin about the book. Thank you for trusting me with it.”

  “Thank you for being someone I can trust.”

  Chapter Six

  Rebecca

  “I can’t stay in this house another minute,” I announce as Adeline climbs up my leg. She’s pawing at my waist, asking me to swing her around for the hundredth time. I’m at a breaking point, and who can blame me? A three-year-old with cabin fever is a handful. I’ve worked a lot of jobs, but being a mother is the hardest by a country mile. No one seems to be paying much attention so I plead my case further. “We need to go to the park or something. If this little girl doesn’t get a change of scenery she’s going to burst.” I’m acting as though I’m asking but I’m not, either way I’m leaving this house today.

  Devin is already shaking his head and I might deck him if he tries to tell me I can’t go out. “I’m going with Jordan today to help her interview folks. She’s got sixty-five people to hire in the next ten days. I can’t go with you.” He checks his watch and tightens his tie around his neck as he hustles toward freedom. All right, maybe sitting in an office interviewing people all day isn’t exactly freedom but as Adeline attempts, unsuccessfully, to braid my hair I know I’d gladly trade places with him.

  Luke pours himself another cup of coffee then tops off Jordan’s mug and mine. I can tell he’s about to tell me where the hell he gets to go today. Maybe they aren’t aware they are rubbing it in. They seem completely clueless. “Click has his point person for security coming to pick me up. I’m going to get the low-down on how they’ve fixed the security issues at the mill. I’ll be meeting with the two injured men as well. Then I’m doing the first local news broadcast about how this plant will help Clover.”

  “Keep Olivia with you for the day. I want everyone to have a security detail on them,” Click says as he slides more eggs onto the plate in front of Devin. I don’t know how, but this little ragtag team of misfits is actually falling into a routine. They’re moving like a well-rehearsed cast in a play, and if I wasn’t so distracted by Adeline’s restlessness I might actually find it all very cute. Instead my jealously for their appointments and schedules is hitting an unhealthy level.

  “Wait, it’s a woman coming today? Your point person for security is a woman?” Luke asks as he slides the pepper down the table toward Jordan. I’d been trying to get the inside scoop on Luke’s history from Devin but he kept telling me he didn’t know much about his personal life. I didn’t believe him at first. How could you work with someone for years and know nothing about his family or relationships? But the more time I spend with Devin, the more I realize it’s true. He really doesn’t know Luke’s history. Judging by the way his eyes are lit up I can at least tell he’s interested in women.

  “What’s wrong with that? Women can’t do security?” Jordan asks getting her war face on.

  “I’m not asking because I’m skeptical, I’m happy about it. From a PR perspective it’s great. And I thought I’d be stuck in a car all day with some meathead military guy who doesn’t say much. No offense, Click.” Luke has a wry sense of humor and I thi
nk everyone is just starting to get accustomed to it.

  “Wait? That’s what you think I am?” Click asks as he offers more eggs my way and I try to shovel them in while Adeline makes another attempt at making my hair beautiful, this time with barrettes meant for her dolls.

  “Click, don’t get off topic here. Is she hot?” Luke grins, raising an eyebrow and I clear my throat reminding everyone of the little ears in this room.

  “Hot?” Click asks, looking over at Jordan sheepishly.

  “She is,” Luke shouts, slapping his hands together. “I owe you one, Click. This is going to be a much better day then I thought.”

  “I didn’t say she was hot,” Click says, straightening and looking uncomfortable. Of everyone here, Click seems least comfortable with Luke’s jesting nature. In his defense I’d imagine someone would need to have a good sense of humor to work with Devin for years. Otherwise you’d go crazy.

  “I know you didn’t say those words exactly, but you looked over at your girlfriend like you were committing a crime, which tells me she is hot and you don’t want to admit it.” Luke moves to the mirror by the entryway and runs his fingers over his hair. He checks to make sure his shirt is properly tucked in and then checks his teeth. He’s prepping for an introduction to a beautiful woman and I can’t help but laugh.

  “She’s hot.” Jordan smiles and I take note that she doesn’t correct Luke on the “girlfriend” comment. I’ve been wondering exactly what these two were doing. Falling in love, living out some lustful fantasies? They are a very good match for each other and I hope it turns into something lasting. Jordan helps clear a few plates as she continues, “I saw her the other day. She’s very pretty and sweet. Though I’m sure she can handle things on her own. Click tells me she has quite a résumé. She even did some Secret Service work at the White House. And he can call her hot if he wants to—that doesn’t bother me.”

  “I wouldn’t think anything would be bothering you this morning,” Luke chides, smirking into his coffee cup. I have brothers, they tend to be annoying. Luke must be someone’s brother because he seems very well practiced in pushing people’s buttons.