Three Times Dead

by Grant, D C

  One of the houses along was on fire. Bodies lay around it, people forced out by the fierce flames and then shot as they fled. Haki peered through the smoke in despair, wondering if Reka was amongst those on the ground, but he couldn’t tell. He worked his way towards the remaining whare, away from the soldiers, hoping to get close enough to call out and see if she was in the big whare, but there was too much open space between him and the raupo walls.

  With a shock he realised that the big whare was now on fire – whether a cinder had travelled across from the one already on fire, or whether the soldiers had set it alight, he could not be sure. He looked around, frantic, unsure of what to do. Was Reka in the whare, or was she already dead? He fingered the musket in his hand; did he shoot and take the consequence or wait to find Reka, in case she was alive?

  Just as he was about to stand and fire his weapon at the soldiers across the clearing, he noticed a movement at the entrance to the whare. A man was coming out. It was Piripi, Reka’s grandfather. It meant that Reka had to be in the whare. Piripi had a white blanket around his shoulders and he held his arms up high to show he had no weapons. Haki was relieved, for it meant that Piripi was surrendering so that Reka could be saved. It would be the only reason why the old man would do that.

  Piripi walked forward slowly, towards the soldiers and their guns. An officer ran forward – he was shouting at the men to hold their fire – but he was too late. There was a thunder of rifles as the soldiers fired. Piripi staggered as blooms of red appeared on his white blanket. He recovered for a moment, upright, his eyes on his executioners, before he crumpled slowly and fell to the ground.

  For a moment there was quiet, and then officers stepped forward, their swords flashing and their hands flying as they shouted in anger at the men who had fired. Haki felt only sadness, and anxiety, not knowing where Reka was.

  A movement to his right caught his eye, near the base of the raupo, a hand thrust through, tearing at the sides of the whare. He heard a baby cry and knew that it was his son. As he moved towards the sound, another warrior stepped out from the entrance, levelled his double-barrelled shotgun at the soldiers, and fired two shots.

  While the soldiers’ attention was on the warrior, Haki ran forward to where the hand was struggling to break the raupo. He tore at the reeds, breaking them into pieces until he saw Reka’s anxious face on the other side. Her eyes widened when she saw him, then she quickly bent down and picked up Toa, thrusting the baby towards him. He gathered the baby up, putting its face to his chest to shield it from the smoke, then pulled Reka out, her feet scrambling against the side of the sunken pit over which the whare was built.

  As another volley of gunfire brought down a second man who had rushed out the entrance to the whare, Reka fell into Haki’s arms, coughing.

  “Quick!” Haki said, turning away from the whare, which was now burning fiercely. “This way.”

  He held the baby close, worrying briefly that he could not hear it cry, then reached back to pull Reka along.

  A soldier shouted from behind them and a shot was fired. Reka cried out, stumbling forward into Haki. He caught her awkwardly but steadied her. There was blood on her leg – a flesh wound, but Haki knew that the pain would hamper her.

  He gathered her to him and almost dragged her towards the shelter of the nearby trees. Behind them the whare roared as it crashed inwards, sending smoke and sparks high into the sky. The grey cloud of smoke now hid them from the soldiers and Haki hurried Reka along. Her tears manifested her pain, but she hobbled as fast as she could, stumbling forward into cover before the smoke could clear and reveal their escape route.

  Chapter 30

  “Bevan, Bevan?” The voice came from a distance, pulling me back. “Are you all right? What happened?”

  I opened my eyes and looked up at Ted. I found that I couldn’t speak.

  “Do you want me to call an ambulance?”

  I shook my head. He helped me to sit up.

  “I looked all over for you when I got back. I thought you’d walked into town. Then I heard you over here. You were calling out in Maori. Was it a fit or something?”

  “A vision,” I said at last.

  “Vision? What kind of vision?” He looked at me funny. I looked at him, considering my options. I could cover up with a lie, or tell the truth. As my brain was addled from the dream, I knew I couldn’t construct a reasonable lie so I went with the truth.

  “I keep having strange dreams in which I’m a Maori warrior fighting in a war – a war that took place around here. I’m trying to find out what they’re all about.”

  “You think you’ll find the meaning of the dreams here?” He sounded sceptical. I didn’t blame him.

  “I just dreamed about the battle of Rangiaowhia, but I didn’t fall asleep, I fainted or something. I was standing by the fence, and then next thing I was in a dream, just like that.” I clicked my fingers.

  “Well, I’ve heard some strange things in my time, but this takes the cake. You need help.” He stood up and started to back away.

  “Wait, you said you knew a kaumatau here?”

  “Henry? Yes, I know him. Do you think he can help you?” He didn’t sound too sure. “Are you sure this isn’t from the accident that you had? Did you get a bang on the head?”

  “No, I just lost my foot, not my head. But it is when it all started.”

  “Sounds like you need a doctor, not a kaumatua.”

  “I’ve had enough doctors to last me a lifetime. I need someone who can tell me what the hell is going on.”

  “I’ll give Henry a call then, but if he says you need a doctor, then a doctor is what you are going to get. Come on, I’ve got the right spanner now, let’s get the battery on charge and then we can call Henry.”

  As I rose to my feet, using the fence for support, I thought he sounded keen to get the car started as soon as possible so that he could send me on my way. To tell the truth, I was freaked out by me too.

  The battery was on charge. I sat at the kitchen table again, this time with a cup of hot sweet tea in front of me at Ted’s insistence. As I wrapped my hands around the mug, I realized that they were trembling. Was I going mad?

  A car pulled up outside and Ted went to the door to let Henry in. He was as old as Ted and they seemed to know each other well. I struggled to my feet as Henry came towards me. Something inside me recognized the mana of this kaumatau and I found myself nervous in his presence.

  “Henry, this is Bevan. He arrived this morning. I think he needs your help.”

  “Kia ora, Bevan,” Henry said as he put his hand out. It seemed natural to take his hand and lean forward in hongi. He lingered with his nose on mine for a while, as if he was breathing in my spirit, reading my mind, probing my distress. Finally he released my hand and I stepped back.

  “So, Ted, how’s the farm these days?” Henry asked as he sat down.

  “Hard work,” Ted replied. He then launched into a long story about his trials and tribulations with the farm while I sat in my chair trying not to show my impatience. Finally, when Ted put a steaming cup in front of Henry and sat down himself, Henry asked him about what had happened that morning. I was itching to tell my side of the story but had to wait my turn.

  Abruptly Henry turned to me and asked, “How long have you been searching?”

  “Since January.”

  “Tell me everything.”

  I started at the beginning, at the drowning, when I died the first time, then continued to the accident and when I died the second time. When I mentioned the old man in the emergency department, Henry made me stop and describe him. He nodded that I should go on with the story. I told him of the dreams I’d been having, how real they were and that they appeared to follow events of the war in the Waikato. I didn’t tell him about Gina and the guys robbing the store. I finished with the vision I had had that morning, in the churchyard, when Ted had found me senseless and apparently raving.

  “I thought he was having some kind o
f fit,” Ted said. “Do you think he should see a doctor, Henry?’

  Henry shook his head. “He has been sent on a spiritual journey. The visions will not cease until he finds that for which he is searching.”

  “I don’t even know what that is,” I said. “I just want the dreams to stop.”

  “Why? Your dreams are the gateway to your tupuna, your ancestors, your whakapapa and your history – why would you want them to stop?”

  “But how can they be my ancestors? My father is Scottish and my mother says my grandfather came here from Australia. We have no Maori connection at all.”

  “None that you are aware of, anyway,” Henry said quietly.

  Peter came in then, and halted at the door to the kitchen. “Hello, Henry, I didn’t expect to see you here. What’s going on?”

  “The boy needs guidance,” Henry said with a smile.

  “The boy needs to see a shrink,” Ted said as he rose to his feet. “All beyond me: dreams, visions, ancestors – I’ll leave Henry to sort it out. Are you staying for lunch, Henry?”

  “Thank you,” Henry said with a nod of his head. “Then me and the boy can go for a walk.”

  “Walk?” I asked. “I’m rather a slow walker,” I said showing him my artificial leg.

  “So am I, boy, so am I,” Henry said, showing me his stick. “It’s all right; we can talk as slow as we walk.”

  Chapter 31

  “There is something you’re not telling me,” Henry said as we walked up the hill, away from the farm. “There is a gap in your story. Ted said you arrived late at night – a strange time to undertake such a journey. Why would come here at this time? Something motivated you.”

  I hung my head, wondering how I could get out of this one. Had something been released to the press that I didn’t know about? I could tell him about Gina, maybe that would be enough.

  “I got my girlfriend pregnant.” I said.

  “Ah, now we come close to the truth. So you search for your ancestors so you can pass that onto your children.”

  I stopped walking, suddenly struck with sorrow and the pain of it sliced through my heart.

  “She had an abortion yesterday. I was too late to stop her. I got in the car and drove here. I couldn’t think of what else to do.”

  “Let us rest here a while,” Henry said as he retreated under the shade of a tree. He leant on his stick. I was about to get a lecture. “Did you not think that when you lay with a girl then you might give her a child?”

  “I thought she was protected, you know, on the pill or something.”

  “You took no responsibility for your seed?”

  “I … no, I …”

  “You young men are so keen to lie with your women without thought of the life that you can create. Do you know that when you lie with a woman then your history and her history are tied up as one? That is not to be taken lightly. Now look at what has happened because of your lust – a life just begun now snuffed out.”

  I turned away from him, unable to stop the tears that I had thought were shut up inside me.

  “You came to seek atonement too,” Henry said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. “You think your history can show you the way forward. That is certainly true, for until we know from where we came from, we cannot know where we are going. You think you are not a whole person because you lost part of yourself,” he said, pointing down to my left leg. “We can only be whole in here – in the heart.” He dug his finger into my chest. “When this is broken, then the rest of the body is broken. You must put this back together. Only you can do that. Your ancestors can show you the way, and I can guide you, but only you can decide what it is that will make you whole, what it is that you have to do. Come, let us walk on.”

  We walked in silence up the remainder of the hill, for both of us were finding it hard. My stump was swelling and I could feel the pressure building within the socket. I didn’t know how I was going to make it back, but I wasn’t going to say anything to Henry. I had no idea where he was leading me, or why.

  “This used to be know as Hairini,” Henry said.

  We paused at last at the side of the road. We were elevated, and I could see the spire of the church at Rangiaowhia to the east. We had walked about a kilometre, I guessed, and I was exhausted. I sank to the ground, not caring about how I was going to get up again, and I soon as I touched the soil, the earth quivered, the air around me shimmered and Henry was gone.

  Haki looked over to the skyline to the east, to where Reka was safe inside the church, or so he hoped. The soldiers had fired on the church yesterday, so they could not be trusted to respect their own god. He looked over to the west, to where the British soldiers were readying themselves. It would not be long now. The trenches that he and the other warriors had dug in a hurry were not going to hold them back for long, but that was not the intention. They just needed to hold them back long enough for the women and children to leave Rangiaowhia. He hoped that Reka was ready when he came for her, to lead her away from the fighting, to safety in the south

  It was past midday. Haki, like the other warriors, had watched the men and horses approach, bringing up their big guns with them. Soon the guns would start firing and the trenches, such as they were, would give way. Haki checked his ammunition – not much but enough. He readied himself.

  “Te kaha, te kaha,” Tamahana said as he walked past his men. “Stand strong.”

  The big guns started firing, the plume of smoke erupting from the muzzles before the sound reached them. A shell landed short.

  “Hold your fire,” Tamahana shouted.

  The shells continued to fall, but none hit the defences. As the cavalry began its charge, the guns fell silent and all that could be heard was the roar of the men on the horses as they thundered up the slopes towards them. As one the warriors fired, the sound startling the horses, and they whirled in confusion while the men tried to control them. Haki quickly reloaded, aiming at one of the soldiers in front of him before firing. The man was thrown off his horse onto the ground where he lay and moaned, still alive, but no longer a threat. Haki concentrated on another rider close by, but this one wheeled about just as he fired and the bullet missed. Although only a few riders had fallen, the officer shouted out and the men on the horses retreated to meet up with those on foot coming up behind. The big guns fired again, the shells whistling through the air. The warriors around him started to move, and Haki saw Tamahana below him, directing the retreat.

  They had held off the British for long enough. It was time to withdraw. Let the Pakeha waste their powder and shot on empty entrenchments. Haki headed towards Rangiaowhia, towards Reka.

  Chapter 32

  “I see what you mean, Ted,” a voice above me said.

  I blinked. Henry’s face came into view. He smiled at me. “You’re back with us. Good, let’s get in the car. I’ve had enough of standing around.”

  The two men helped me to my feet. Ted’s ute was beside us, on the side of the road, the back door open. There was no sign of the artillery and cavalry from my dream. Where I stood was a tarred road, not hastily dug trenches. The experience had left me drained. It seemed the closer I got to the source, the more energy it sucked from me.

  I clambered onto the front bench seat, my skin clammy and my body aching.

  “Can he stay at your place tonight, Ted?” Henry asked as the car pulled off onto the road. “He’ll need to rest.”

  “Yes, he looks all done in. A good thing you asked me before you left to come for you later, I don’t think he’d have made it back in the shape he’s in.”

  “I don’t think I could either,” Henry said, and laughed.

  We returned to the farmhouse where Ted revived us both with more cups of tea. I was feeling awash with the stuff. Henry left and I helped Ted in his shed, where he was fixing a tractor. I wasn’t much good, really, as he often had to tell me two or three times what it was he wanted. And I couldn’t identify the tools. He asked for a wrench and I looked at him
blankly. I didn’t have a clue. In the end he gave up on me and left me staring out of the open shed door as the sun slowly set to the west.

  Ted had the TV on we while ate dinner, when the news came on. Suddenly a grainy CCTV picture came on the screen, and I immediately recognized Mitch as he stood in the store and raised the wheel spanner above his head. Scott stood just behind him, hopping from one foot to the other in eagerness. I stopped eating to stare at the screen.

  “Police are seeking two suspects in an aggravated robbery which took place last night. Two youths entered a liquor store and beat the owner before making off with an amount of cash and goods. A car was seen leaving the scene. The owner of the liquor store is in a stable but serious condition in hospital. Police are following a number of leads.”

  I pushed away my plate, unable to eat because of the rising nausea. I had been able to forget about the robbery for a while – the dreams had kept that memory at bay – and now I was made aware of how real this world actually was and that I could not remain in this safe haven forever.

  “What’s the matter, Bevan? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Ted said, and then smiled as he realized what he had said. “Actually I guess you’ve been seeing ghosts all day.”

  “I need some air,” I said as I stood up, the chair scraping against the wooden floor.

  I walked out onto the driveway and shivered in the dark cold winter’s air. The sky was clear above me and the moon shone brightly. If I looked up the hill, I saw the spire of the church. There was no comfort in the sight, just confusion and uncertainty. Feeling chilled I returned inside, where the TV was now off and Peter and Ted were washing the dishes.

  “Good way to get out of doing the dishes, townie,” Peter said as he threw me a tea towel.

  “Sorry, just had to get out,” I said as I picked up a plate to dry. I wondered why they didn’t have a dishwasher.