Dumfries

by Todd, Ian

  “She’s a walking hostage, that wan, waiting tae be snatched, you mark ma words,” hid been wan ae his recent repeated ditties.

  Cocky drank wae a crowd ae prison officers in their social club, even though he’d hinted aboot the office that he’d slept wae hauf ae their wives, when they wur across the water. He’d telt Alex that if he’d been younger, he wid’ve jacked in his job as a social worker and joined the prison service oan account ae aw the money they wur raking in. Maist ae the prison officers up in the YOI wur chomping at the bit tae go across and dae stints in Northern Ireland’s H-Blocks, tae relieve the pressure oan the staff there. They basically worked and slept every hour that came their way when they wurnae doon in the Shankhill getting pished wae people they shouldnae hiv been mixing wae in the first place. Everywan living in Dumfries knew who the prison officers wur because ae aw the tap ae the range cars they ran aboot in. Every Monday, Cocky couldnae wait tae get in tae work tae tell Alex whit Fanny hid been getting up tae up in the YOI the previous week, even though Cocky knew Alex met wae Fanny wan day a week tae make sure everything wis hunky-dory. Fanny wis obviously wan ae the main topics ae conversation in the POA bar. He watched her lock the car door, despite the canvas rollback sunroof being open tae anywan who wanted tae steal her car radio, and heid across the car park, only tae be confronted by Pishy Wullie, the resident car park jakey. Despite repeatedly telling her till he wis blue in the face, no tae encourage Pishy, he watched her go in tae her shoulder bag and take oot her purse and haun him o’er something. He tried tae focus tae see if it wis a coin or a note, bit his glasses wur too smudged and she wis too far away. He wis glad that Cocky wisnae at his desk when he clocked her grabbing Pishy Wullie by the ears and gieing him a kiss oan that manky foreheid ae his before smiling and disappearing oot ae sight as she heided fur the main door ae the building. He nipped back tae his desk. Her imminent entrance in tae the office wis the trigger fur his sphincter tae remind him that as the team leader, it wis his job tae gie the rope a wee tug tae ensure that everything, and everywan, kept calm in times ae discontent. He’d awready rehearsed whit he wis gonnae say tae her, bit he knew fine well that whitever he hid planned, it wid go straight oot ae the windae when she came bouncing back at him demanding his unconditional support. Oan her first day up at the jail, she’d refused tae accept a bunch ae ‘access aw areas’ keys. The officers hid been chuffed as punch. It hid been a long-standing issue throughoot Scotland’s prison system aboot civvies hivving keys in their possession. The POA hid been whingeing aboot it fur years, using security concerns as their main argument. Wance she started becoming popular wae the YOs, the mood hid changed though and the officers hid started complaining that they hid tae escort her fae A tae B oan account ae her refusing tae accept keys like everywan else working in the place. Whenever she wanted tae go and interview a YO, they’d deliberately keep her waiting, sometimes fur o’er an hour, until an officer could be released fae whit he wis daeing tae come and collect her. Things hid soon deteriorated at a pace. Within a few weeks ae being messed aboot by the uniforms, she’d taken up wae Father Leonard, the resident prison priest. Between them, they’d mounted an all-oot frontal attack tae bypass the prison officers, in order tae respond tae the needs ae the YOs. At first, he’d found it amusing, until aboot three months earlier, when the pair ae eejits hid started tae heid doon tae the dining hall at lunchtime and eat their meal, sitting in amongst the YOs. Baith the prison officers and the YOs themsels hid been taken by surprise and hidnae been too sure how tae respond tae the intrusion. The POA rep hid shot aff tae the governor and hid demanded that he put an end tae the integration oan the grounds ae security. He’d argued that the staff wurnae prepared tae take responsibility fur Fanny’s safety. It hid been clear they couldnae gie a stuff aboot the priest, seeing as they wur aw well-known bluenoses. Efter aboot three or four heated conferences wae the governor, which hid ended in victory fur Fanny and the priest, and a two-week work-tae-rule by the staff, the officers hid backed doon wance they’d felt the impact in their wage packets oan a Friday. The next confrontation hid come when Fanny and Father Leonard decided tae separate and sit individually wae the inmates at their tables. Donald Dick, wan ae the senior officers and POA rep hid threatened another work-tae-rule if the governor didnae act and put an end tae whit wis gaun oan. The SO hid claimed that the YOs hid sussed oot, encouraged by Fanny and Father Leonard, that the officers wurnae happy wae this turn ae events, and wur noo using it tae noise up the staff oan duty during meal times by encouraging Fanny and the priest tae come and sit wae them. The few attempts tae curb Fanny and the priest hidnae worked, even efter a couple ae fights hid broken oot in the dining room, between the YOs during the meal times, when the pair wur sitting in amongst everywan. The POA hid argued that the fights hid been o’er who wis getting tae sit wae Fanny, bit it hid soon been proven that the commotion hid been due tae gang issues amongst the YOs themsels. The Department in Edinburgh hid sent doon wan ae their heid honchos, some fat bureaucrat called Peacock, who’d informed the staff that The Department wis in favour ae whit the priest and Fanny wur daeing and that if any ae the officers wanted tae put in fur a transfer, their request wid be looked oan favourably. Cocky hid telt him that The Department guy hid also blatantly telt the staff that anywan who put in a transfer request could kiss goodbye tae their wee lucrative sojourns across the water tae Northern Ireland. That hid soon put paid tae the grumbles and things hid settled doon tae a manageable truce. Noo, the shite bucket hid tipped o’er again.

  “Fanny, ma wee pumpkin, ye’re back? How wis yer honeymoon?”

  “Oh, Alex, it was so beautiful, but sad at the same time, if you know what I mean,” Fanny chirped, as she flounced across tae her desk and started rifling through her mail.

  “Well, whit did ye expect? Who ever heard ae anywan gaun tae an orphanage in Africa oan their honeymoon? Christ, there’s jist something a wee bit distasteful aboot that, so there is.”

  “It wasn’t a honeymoon, Alex. It was a working holiday. This is the fourth year Jardine’s been and my second. The children are a joy to be with. Jardine and I have been living together for five years,” she replied, withoot looking up. “So getting married wasn’t such a big change to our lives,” she murmured, as crumbled sheets ae paper accurately landed in the wastepaper bin wan efter the other across in the corner.

  “So, why bother getting hitched then?” he asked, wondering how she managed tae score a hunner percent each time, as another paper ball whizzed past his heid and landed oan tap ae the others.

  “For Jake’s sake. He’s getting older now. He’s nearly five and Jardine has legally become his guardian and he needs a father. It’s difficult starting school for the first time at that age.”

  “And whit dis Jake think ae hivving tae be dragged aff tae an orphanage oan his maw’s honeymoon wae a new daddy? Christ, he’ll hiv some stories tae tell his grandweans, so he will.”

  “He loved it. He didn’t want to come home. So, what’s happening here? Anything I should be concerned about?” she asked, looking up.

  “Aye, well, it’s funny ye should ask that, lass.”

  “What? Don’t tell me that someone has called Cocky’s bluff and accepted a marriage proposal?”

  “Er, no quite. And another thing, whit hiv Ah telt ye aboot haunin o’er money tae Pishy Wullie? That’s only encouraging him,” Alex scowled, retreating fae telling her the bad news.

  “His name’s Willie, Alex. How would you feel if you knew that I referred to you behind your back with the name everyone in the office calls you, eh?”

  “Me? A nickname? Ye’re bloody well kidding me! Christ, they hivnae goat an embarrassing nickname fur me, hiv they?” he asked, surprised.

  “Of course they do, but I never use it…well, not very often.”

  “Right, c’mone noo, tell me ye’re hivving me oan?”

  “Yes, okay, I’m only kidding,” she replied, grinning.

  “Naw, ye’re no. Shit, Ah’ve goat a nickna
me. Efter aw this time and Ah never knew. Right, spit it oot then. Ah need tae know,” he said appealingly, resting his hauns oan his desk in preparation.

  “Oh Alex, I’m only jesting.”

  “Naw ye’re no, c’mone, spit it oot. Ah’m a big boy, Ah kin take it.”

  “Honestly, I was only pulling your leg,” she scoffed, laughing, bending o’er and slapping her thigh wae her haun.

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously. So, you were going to tell me something that obviously wasn’t to do with Cocky’s love life.”

  “Right, bit don’t go shooting the messenger noo,” he sighed, before spitting it oot. “You and that wee priest pal ae yers hiv been blocked fae mixing wae yer wee angels wae dirty faces up at the YOI. And no only that, it’s fur good this time.”

  “On what grounds?” Fanny demanded tae know, they eyes ae hers flashing.

  “It’s too dangerous.”

  “How could it be any more dangerous than before I went off on holiday…honeymoon, two weeks ago?”

  “Security his been tightened, so it his, and will be fur the foreseeable future.”

  “Alex. There are one hundred and twenty six young offenders up there. Seventy eight of them have been convicted of murder and have either been sentenced to life or Her Majesty’s Pleasure. The rest are serving sentences ranging from three to ten years with over ninety five percent of them being convicted for extreme use of violence. Not once has there been a cross word or even a hint of a threat towards Father Leonard or me. I have more chance of being assaulted by a prison officer than an inmate,” she protested, stomping across and throwing hersel oan tae the chair in front ae his desk.

  “Well, it’s different this time. The circumstances hiv changed dramatically since ye’ve been away,” he replied defensively.

  “How? Why? I don’t understand. Have you spoken to that Mr Peacock, the legal man, in Edinburgh?”

  “Three new YOs hiv arrived,” he continued, ignoring her questions. “Even some ae the officers ur no sure how tae take it. Cocky said that some ae the younger recruits ur scared shi…er… frightened and ur no too sure whit tae expect.”

  “What, are they mass murderers or something? How long are they serving?”

  “Er, Ah believe it’s three years apiece.”

  “Sorry?”

  “Ye heard me.”

  “But these are short-term sentences compared to the majority. What’s so special and frightening about them?”

  “Right, Ah don’t know the full facts. It’s tae dae wae Governor Crawford’s wife, Alison, who ye know goat shot a few years ago when she wis getting hump…er, hivving an affair wae that gangster fella up in Glesga, so it his.”

  “Alison Crawford? What about her? Everyone knows that her and George managed to reconcile their er, marriage problems, and get back together. What has this got to do with her?”

  “Well, fur your information, the perpetrators that carried oot the murder ae the big-shot gangster and who injured Alison, oor colleague, arrived in Dumfries while ye wur aff swanning aboot Africa.”

  “But…but, what has this got to do with these three short-termers? Surely if it was them, they would’ve got much longer than that, for such a horrid crime.”

  “They wur never charged, bit they’re definitely the wans that did it, so they ur,” Alex assured her grimly.

  “I still don’t get it,” Fanny admitted, screwing up her eyes and shaking her heid, looking oot ae the windae towards the red sandstone YOI building in the distance.

  “Although they’ve been charged and convicted fur something else, the background intelligence reports that arrived wae them, hiv them doon as being heavily connected wae it.”

  “So, you mean, they were suspected of involvement?”

  “Look, where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Everywan is rallying roond George Crawford, including the officers, hard though that is tae be believed.”

  “So, what does the intelligence background information say then?”

  “Ah’m no sure. Ah hivnae seen it masel, bit Cocky said they’re as guilty as sin, so they ur. He’s been filling in up there since ye’ve been away. He says that the officers ur outraged at the cheek ae The Department sending the basturts doon here. They wanted them put straight intae solitary fur their ain good, two minutes efter they arrived.”

  “Oh, Alex, Cocky hasn’t been filling in for me, has he? Tell me you’re kidding me, please?”

  ”Look, there wisnae anywan else tae cover fur ye. Anyway, it wis jist a wee haudin position. He wisnae interviewing any new admissions other than the local Dumfries untried prisoners oan remand in A-Hall. Ah telt him tae focus oan the background reports fur those due up in court and tae leave the long term YOs fur yersel when ye came back. He says there’s a stack ae files sitting oan yer desk, waiting fur ye up at the YO office.”

  “And what about Father Leonard? Have you spoken to him about the changes?”

  “Naw, Ah’ve been too busy. Cocky said he saw him up there yesterday. Look Fanny, Ah’m serious here. Ye’ll hiv tae go a wee bit caw-canny and no upset any ae the staff or management up there. The POA ur trying tae ban any civilian and female staff, i.e. you, fae working beyond the gatehoose, because ae these thugs.”

  “Right, I’m off. If I’m not back by three o’clock, you’ll know I’ve been murdered, kidnapped or worse,” she said, staunin up, grabbing her bag and keys fae her desk.

  “Listen, Fanny, this isnae funny. Ye’ll hiv tae be careful noo. Jist tread carefully until ye get the lay ae the land…and don’t go upsetting any ae that POA crowd. It’s me they’ll end up hassling,” he’d warned her.

  “Yes, sir! Anything else?”

  “Aye. Ye used tae work in Thistle Park Approved School, up in Paisley, a few years ago, didn’t ye?”

  “Yes, back in 1968. Why?”

  “Well, wan ae the three new arrivals wis there roond aboot the same time as you.”

  “Oh, what was his name?”

  “Ah cannae remember, some Atalian sounding name, bit nae doubt, he’ll be wan ae yer past successes,” he’d replied sarcastically, as she disappeared oot the office door.

  “Good evening. My name is John Turney and these are the news headlines in Scotland tonight.

  Glasgow’s Assistant Chief Constable, Jack Tipple, has refuted claims that corruption is endemic in Scotland’s biggest police force after it was revealed that nine serving police officers are currently suspended whilst under investigation for corruption. The number of those suspended was revealed as a result of a question raised by Springburn MP Alex Cotter to the Secretary of State for Scotland at Westminster today. Mr Tipple stated that the figures were misleading as seven of those under investigation have been cleared and are now back on active duty, whilst the other two will remain suspended until the conclusion of an internal investigation…

  It has been revealed that Father Henry Coil, of St Luscious of Our Lord Chapel, was one of two men found guilty and jailed for fourteen days at Glasgow Sheriff Court today, after being confronted by a photographer from the Glasgow Echo, engaging in lewd and libidinous practices. It was revealed that the priest, who has been a well-known anti-brothel campaigner in the city for the past twenty years, was snapped performing an indecent act on another man, nineteen-year-old Brian Cox, in the town centre’s Sauchie Lane last month. A spokesman for the church last night asked everyone to remember fifty-nine-year-old Father Coil in their prayers…

  A family of four from Arden was overjoyed to find out that they had scooped the first and second prize in the monthly draw at Honest John McCaffrey’s Kitchen Essentials store on Dumbarton Road today. Mr and Mrs Patterson and their two teenage children were overjoyed with their prizes of a Remington Deluxe wet and dry shaver and a refurbished Double Diamond fridge…

  A sixty-eight-year-old pensioner was killed after being hit by a bus on Springburn Road earlier this afternoon. Mrs Etta Robertson died soon after being admitted to the casualty department of The Royal Infi
rmary. Springburn Road was shut for two hours and caused massive tailbacks as far back as Castle Street flyover in the Townhead…

  Residents have been warned that the city’s dog-catchers have upped their patrols in Drumchapel after a pack of dogs, numbering up to twenty five at times, has been seen running about the area using the pavements as toilets. John Burns, the city’s chief dog warden said today that the dogs are not strays, but belong to local householders, who let their dogs out in the morning and let them back in at night after spending the day making a mess of the pavements in the area…

  A thirty-two-year-old woman was raped in Cardonald last night as she got off a bus on Kingsland Drive. Community leaders and members of the city’s churches have called for more police on the beat…

  Jill Shand, a hospital casualty sister at Glasgow’s Royal Infirmary and active member of Scottish Women’s Aid, a new organisation recently established in the city, has called on Corporation Councillors to introduce campaigns and classes in schools, highlighting that violence against women is unacceptable, as part of the core curriculum amongst the city’s schoolchildren…”

  Chapter Eleven

  Fanny parked her car facing the red sandstone turreted gatehoose. She sat and watched a large, black prison van, exit before it disappeared doon Terregles Street. Apart fae the tall Queen Ae The South floodlights jist alang the road at Palmerston fitba ground, Dumfries Young Offenders Institution and its wall and fence, topped wae swirls ae razor sharp barbed wire, dwarfed the surrounding hooses. Despite its presence oan the same spot since the 1800s, she doubted if any ae the residents, wae their gardens backing oan tae the wall or fence, hid ever darkened its doors or knew whit went oan there. She gazed through the large wooden doors, as wan ae the gatehoose officers oan duty swung the first ae them shut. Beyond the wooden outer gates, she noticed Father Leonard oan the far side ae the inner steel-barred gate, heiding towards the gatehoose.