Being Diane

by Dennis Adkins

  Chapter 7

  That afternoon when I got home I took the cub and drove down into the fields and found them. Uncle Will was sitting in the truck watching the pickers. I parked the tractor and walked up to him. He looked at me and looked at his watch. “What are you a banker, coming in when you want to.” he teased.

  “Yeah, I made a fortune today on interest and thought I would come in late.” I joked back.

  “Okay get up there and start packing that cotton and by the way I really would like it if you wouldn't stand so close. You smell like a pole cat.” he said.

  “I do not. Well... maybe a little. I smell more like a wet dog. I think.” I joked. He swatted at me and I took off for the trailer and got busy. He came over to the trailer and got up in it with me and while we were packing the cotton, he asked how my day went. I told him all about it and how Mrs. Johnson had tried to get me expelled and how the band director had quit because he wasn't allowed to throw a bunch of us out of the band for no good reason. Then I told him that Ms. Givens wanted me back in the tutoring sessions and that the principal had said that I was going to have to do it. He just listened to me and asked a few questions along the way. Narrating a story wasn't my forte, but I did the best that I could. I found that he was good listener and then he started talking about how Mrs. Johnson had given Will and George a hard time also because of a problem he had with her husband and he had to intervene and have something done about it. By that time, the two of them showed up and got in the trailer with us and we had it pretty well walked down by the time one of the guys came around to dump the picker.

  After the dump, Uncle Will hooked up to the trailer and took the two cotton trailers back up to the house. He put George on the 4020 with the bush hog and had him start cutting the cotton stalks down. He took Will with him to the cotton gin to help with the trailer and to pick up the two that were ready to be brought back. I kept packing the trailer until it was full and then I hooked the cub to it to move it closer to where they were picking. Both of the men that were driving the pickers were good men who had always worked on a farm. They both lived in town and Uncle Will would pick them up in the morning to save them gas money. I knew that they didn't make a lot, but Uncle Will paid them as much as he could so he could keep them. Actually, it was difficult to keep good-trained help on the farm.

  After we shut down at dark, I went to the house and washed and dried my clothes and took a bath. I had all of my clothes in the wash so I found a pair of Moms old shorts and I changed into them. They seemed to fit very well, a little too well. While I was waiting on my clothes, I did my exercises and practiced the next chapter in the book. I was realizing that I was going to need some training equipment that the book recommended like a punching bag. I could make one out of an old cotton sack and some of the cotton that got spilled on the ground and hang it up in the loft so I could work on it at night. I had already found some electrical wire and had run it up to the loft and hung a light up there. I tore the old wires out since they seemed a little frayed and dangerous. I got Uncle Will to make sure that I had done it right since I didn't want to wake up to an electrical fire. I had pulled an old trailer up to the opening to the hayloft and had removed all of the loose hay on the floor. That made things a lot better and safer but I still couldn't have any kind of heater up there, so since they were going to be gone for a week I thought I would just stay in the house while they were gone.

  I had finished with the exercises and was starting on my homework when the telephone rang. Without thinking, I answered it and it was Mom on the other end. “I thought you would be in the house while we were gone.” she said.

  “I just took a bath and washed my clothes. I won't be here long.” I said.

  “No, no you can stay there if you want to. I just called to tell you that we will be back sooner than l expected. I need you to go down and take that FOR SALE sign down. I'm not selling the house after all.” she said.

  “Yes mam, I'll do it in the morning. Is there something I need to know?” I asked.

  “I’ll explain it to you one day but not right now. Have you done your homework and fed Smokey?” she asked changing the subject.

  “Yes mam, I fed Smokey the last of the dog food tonight. I have enough money to buy him some more tomorrow and I was just starting on my homework. So when are you going to be back?” I asked.

  “Probably Wednesday afternoon. I want you to move into your Granddad's old room and stay there. I'll call Will and see if he can get Smokey, some dog food and I will pay him back when we get back. I need to talk to him anyway. Well this is long distance and it is going to cost me a fortune so I am going to hang up now. You be careful and I will see you Wednesday. Bye.” she said and hung up.

  I was really confused then. I hadn't expected that attitude, as a matter of a fact I kind of thought that she would have hit the ceiling when I answered the phone. Well I guess even I could catch a break every now and then. So I went on and did my homework, as I was finishing up the phone rang again and I answered it. This time it was Uncle Will. “Dennis I just talked to your Mother and she said she was coming home in a day or two and she wanted me to pick up some dog food for Smokey. Also I guess I won't need you tomorrow afternoon so you don't have to rush home to get to the fields.”

  “That would be great I have to start back on the tutoring sessions so I will call the teacher and see if I can start back tomorrow. If that is alright with you?” I asked. I was really wanting him to say he needed me on the farm but he said it was fine with him.

  I slept better that night than I had in two weeks, but I dreamed that I was being chased by a big truck that had snapping teeth in the front that were trying to bite me. I kept losing my clothes and was running naked and the more I tried to put them on the harder it got and I was being laughed at by everybody that I tried to get to help me stop the truck. Then when I finally got to where I could put my clothes on, they were girl’s clothes, and then the people started to help the truck catch me. Finally, it got me and as the teeth were just about to tear me apart, I woke up. Smokey was whining wanting out so I let him out. Mom would go ballistic if she knew that I was letting Smokey stay in the house with me but he didn't make any messes and he stayed right with me.

  When I let him out, I saw a strange car in the tractor yard so I grabbed the shotgun out of the gun case and loaded it. I put the shorts on that I had been wearing and my tennis shoes and walked out to see who it was. As I got closer I saw two guys doing something to the 3020, I could hear the sound of wrenches being dropped and cussing. I eased up to them and Smokey was right beside me. He started growling and I heard one of the guys say, “Damn, there's that damn dog. Watch him he's as mean and tough as they come. He bit me last summer when I tried to get a battery off one of the tractors.” Then I heard the other one say, “Well I have something for him.” and I heard a pistol being cocked.

  “Well, I have something bigger.” I said and racked a shell into the shotgun. That made both of them take off toward their car and Smokey was hot after them. He managed to get a hold of the smaller of the two and clamp down on his leg. The bigger one turned and fired a shot at Smokey, but missed. I pointed the shotgun at them and fired once. I heard the bigger one yell and jump in the car and start it up. The smaller one had broken free of Smokey and jumped into the passenger side window as the car started up and took off. The driver floored it and I could hear a straight pipe on a six cylinder and it looked like an old Ford two door. He spun it around and as he did, it put him on my side and he pointed the pistol out the window and fired a shot at me. I pumped another round in the chamber of the shotgun and fired at the car hitting the side of it as he was getting ready to shoot again, but they were moving fast down the drive and onto the road and Smokey was hard after them and I couldn't shoot without hitting Smokey.

  Smokey came back up to me and looked at me like. “Well, I had him why didn't you pop him?” I looked at him and said. “Don't look at me that way. You're the one that let h
im go.” and I reached down and petted him. “You did a great job anyway and it looks like you managed to draw some blood off of one of them. Come on let's go back to the house and call Uncle Will.”

  I called Uncle Will and he came right on over and brought Will and George. I put a pair of jeans on and got Smokey a piece of baloney as a reward for his actions. Uncle Will called the Sheriff’s Department and they came out to take a report. I put Smokey on a leash so he wouldn't bite the Sheriff, which might be a bad thing.

  “Are you alright?” asked Uncle Will when he got there.

  “I have a little scratch on my leg from a bullet but I'm okay.” I said. “It just burns a little is all.”

  “Let's see it.” and he held up a flashlight to my leg. “Did you change clothes I don't see a bullet hole but it sure is bleeding a lot. Take you pants off and let’s see what you have there.”

  I pulled my jeans down and that was when I realized that I had been hit in the leg. I had a bullet hole in my leg and it was bleeding a lot. He made me turn around and he looked at the back of my leg and found where the bullet had come out. He made me take Smokey and go to the house after I left the shotgun with him and the extra shells I had in my pocket. As I was walking back up the house, I heard him reloading the gun.

  I got to the house and found a clean old t-shirt and I put it around my leg after I cleaned it with some peroxide and took some duck-tape and taped it in place. It seemed to stop the bleeding so I left Smokey in the house and walked back outside to where the Sheriff and Uncle Will were talking. When I came up the Sheriff looked at me and said, “So this is Wyatt Erpe. Huh?”

  “That's him alright. I just wish he had something a little more effective than bird shot in here.” said Uncle Will and he held up the shotgun.

  “Probably just as well he didn't.” said the Sheriff. “I don't think that he would like having killed a man on his conscience. So did you get a good look at them? Did you recognize either one of them.?

  “No sir. But I can describe the car. It was a sixty or sixty-one Fairlane two door with a six cylinder that has a straight pipe and it and it will have a shotgun hit on the driver’s side. He was a big guy and he was the one with the pistol that shot me. I also managed to hit him with one shot because he hollered when it hit. The other one was the one I heard talking about getting run off by Smokey last summer. He's also the one that Smokey bit on the leg. I guess I will have to take Smokey to the vet to get his shots since I don't want him getting sick from biting that little weasel.” I said. Uncle Will and the Sheriff thought that was funny and laughed pretty hard at it.

  The Sheriff asked. “Are you alright? Will you didn't say anything about him being shot. Is it bad?”

  “No sir it's not bad. It went clean through I have it bandaged up and the bleeding has stopped. I didn't even know I was hit until Uncle Will saw the blood.” I said.

  “I'm going to leave George here to watch the dog and make sure it doesn't get sick and I'm going to take Dennis in town to see Doc. George take this shotgun. Will put Dennis in the truck. Sheriff, do you need anything else?” Uncle Will asked.

  “Nope, I think I know who did this and if I can catch up to him before he has a chance to paint over the shot marks I can arrest him. But I'll just tell you he's slicker than a snake oil salesman. My guess is that he and his buddy have left the county by now and won't come back until they have healed and covered their tracks. But I'll call the surrounding counties and have them be on the lookout anyway.” Said the Sheriff.

  Uncle Will took me into town and carried me to the local Doctors Office. 'Doc' or Doctor Clifford had a clinic in the back of his house and he would see people in the middle of the night there. I walked up to the house and suddenly remembered that I hated shots and needles. I started to turn and run but Will grabbed me by the neck and told me, “Oh no you don't, if I had to get out of bed for this then you are going in here and that's all there is to it.”

  Doc came to the door in his pajamas and robe looking like warmed over manure. “What's the matter Will?”

  “Dennis, here, was shot in the leg tonight and I need you to take a look at It.?” Uncle Will said.

  “Damn, what time is it anyway? And what were you doing to get shot? Hell I didn't think you were the one that was the hell raiser. I though your brother Ralph was going to be the one that came in here with a bullet in him. Well come on in and get up on the table. Take your pants off first.” Doc said without giving us time to answer any questions.

  I took my pants off and sat on the table. He looked at the bandage and pronounced it a first rate field dressing. Then he took a pair of tweezers that looked like a pair of scissors and poked around in the wound. That hurt, but I managed not to cry out. Then he re-wrapped the wound with some gauzy looking stuff and some kind of white roll of gauzy looking stuff. “Well it didn't hit anything important.” He said. “But what happened to your head?”

  “Thanks a lot. You saying I'm not important?” I said joking. Will popped me in the back of the head.

  “Don't be a smart alec.” he said.

  “Is your son your enforcer?” asked Doc.

  “He does a fine job of keeping the rest of them in line. I don't have to do much at all. He's a good son.” said Uncle Will with a smile. “All of my kids are good including this one.” and he pointed at me.

  “Yes, I recon they are at that. Well the only thing he needs is some antibiotics and he should be fine. I want you to keep it clean and put a new bandage on it every day for a week. You understand?” said Doc. “So what happened to your head?”

  “Mom hit me with a sauce pan.” I answered.

  “Why didn't you come in and get it sewed up? Now you are going to have a bad scar there. Why did she hit you with a sauce pan any way.” he asked.

  “I wish you wouldn't ask him about that. It's a really touchy subject in the family right now.” said Uncle Will. He had that drop it tone of voice.

  Doc looked at him and sighed, “Alright, but now he's really going to need an antibiotic because that is infected. Put some hydrogen peroxide on it twice a day for three days and keep it covered up.”

  “Yes sir. So I'll be getting a prescription then?” I said thinking that I had dodged the needle.

  “Yep, but I'm going to give you something to get you started tonight.” and he turned around with a big needle.

  I started pulling my pants up and was making a bee line for the door but Will caught me and threw me back up on the table and I was fighting like a wild cat. Then I tried a new tact. “Uh Doc, I don't guess that you know I have an allergy to stainless steel do you?”

  “Why, no, I didn't. What does it do to you?” he asked.

  Will had loosed his grip and I looked at him and said with a straight face. “It makes me break out all over....and run out of the room.” and I jumped up again and started for the door. But Will caught me again and threw me back on the table. I gave up and told them I would take the shot but I wouldn't like it. I dropped my pants and my underpants.

  Doc looked at me kind of funny and asked. “Dennis where are your balls?”

  I told him about the accident and that they had just gone away and he made me lay down again and he felt around down there. Then he pulled my shirt up and looked at my chest and felt of my breast. I was mortified. I had never been felt up by a man before even if it was a doctor. Then he called Uncle Will out into the hall and talked to him. He came back in and without any warning, he stuck me in the butt with that damn rusty nail he was calling a syringe and needle. I yelled loud over that.

  “You know you whined more over that shot than you did over being shot with a bullet in the leg.” Said Doc.

  “The damn bullet...” and I ducked just in time to keep from being smacked in the back of the head, “didn't hurt as bad.” I said and smirked at Will and he popped me in the back of the head anyway.

  “Don't be cussing.” He said.

  “Can I borrow Will for a few days I need a little help with my ki
ds.” said Doc.

  “Long as you feed and water him.” Said Uncle Will with a smile.

  “Keep him for as long as you like, I don't mind.” I said and ducked again.

  Doc and Uncle Will thought that was hilarious. I was being serious. I loved Will but he always was grown up ever since I had known him. He was the serious one and George was the comic. We always seemed to get in trouble with Will, but we would do anything for him.

  “Oh and by the way I am going to write a note for you not to do PE for the rest of the week, I don't want that hole to start bleeding again. I understand that Billy is directing the band now?” Doc asked.

  “Yes sir Mr. Stoop quit and Billy volunteered to do it. Some of the cool ones didn't like it but they didn't have a choice in it since Ms. Givens is supervising us until they find a Band director. And as it turned out Billy is a great director. He seems to have a real talent for it.” I said.

  “Well I think that is great. Alright y'all get out so I can get some sleep.” and Doc rushed us out of his office and slammed the door behind us.

  “Do you think he wanted us gone?” I said rather sarcastically.

  “Yep, I think so.” said Uncle Will.