Men After God's Own Heart

by Dijorn Moss

  “Is that the mind of Christ? You talk to your own brother like that. What do you think Apostle Paul would say?” Chauncey asked.

  “Apostle Paul never had kids, and last time I checked, premarital sex was a sin,” Quincy said.

  “But we’re all human.” Chauncey shook his finger at Quincy.

  “C, since when did you become the poster child for grace and mercy?”

  “But I feel Deacon on this one, Q,” Jamal interjected. “Hear the man out. That’s the only way you’re going to get any understanding and peace out of the situation.”

  Quincy did not respond directly to Jamal’s point. Instead, he gave Dwight a head nod, to signal that he could continue with his explanation.

  “I’m just saying, you know . . . I don’t know how this happened,” Dwight said.

  Quincy dropped his hand like a gavel onto the table. Jamal let out a smirk and started to rub Quincy’s shoulders to calm him down.

  “Yeah, there are only a few ways it can happen,” Jamal said.

  Dwight shook his head. “But I’m saying that we’re both adults, and I know I kept it wrapped up, and so how Sasha ended up pregnant, I don’t know.”

  “Look, Dwight, my daughter bears as much responsibility for this situation as you do, but to suggest that my daughter wanted to get pregnant on purpose is ridiculous!”

  “I’m just saying.” Dwight started to pound his fist into his hand. “I ain’t trying to have no babies, and I thought she was the same way! And what’s with these Law & Order interrogations?”

  “So now you’re being belligerent?” Quincy asked.

  “What does that mean?” Dwight retorted.

  Quincy motioned in a way that indicated he was about to hop over the table and strangle Dwight, but Jamal held him back. “Easy, Q. We’re just trying to talk things out.” He looked Dwight in the eye. “Listen, Dwight, I understand that for you and Sasha, it was nothing serious, but having a baby is a real serious thing, and Q just wants to know that you’re ready for the responsibility,” Jamal said.

  “And might I suggest, Brother Dwight, that you consider giving yourself over to the Lord and doing some research into laser surgery for all those ungodly tattoos,” Chauncey said, to the puzzlement of everyone at the table.

  Quincy gripped the knife harder. “You can make a choice to walk away right now and never see your kid. You would never have to deal with your kid’s tears. Sasha has made a choice to have the baby. That is not something she can walk away from.” Quincy dropped the knife, and it made a chiming sound. He wanted to go back to his room before he ended up committing a crime.

  “What’s good, fellas?” Will entered the restaurant with his brother.

  “Hey, man, you made it.” Jamal gave Will a fist pound.

  “I figured this is the safest place to be right now. I decided to bring my brother with me,” Will said.

  “How did you know we were here?” Quincy asked.

  “I stopped by the hotel and didn’t see you guys, so I made a guess that you guys were over here getting something to eat.”

  Chauncey looked at Will, a little confused. “But, Brother Will, your brother is too young to be here.”

  “Don’t worry, C. He’s going to be in my room, getting caught up on some much-needed schoolwork.”

  A wry smile crept over Quincy’s mouth as Will sized up Dwight. He knew that Will could spot an unsavory character from a mile away. He knew that if Dwight was hiding anything, Will would be able to spot it.

  “What up, man?” Will said.

  “Dwight.” Dwight gave Will a fist bump.

  “Dwight came here with Quincy. He’s trying to see what this weekend is all about,” Chauncey said.

  Will nodded. “That’s good. I came here a year ago, and it changed my life. I love these guys as if they were my own flesh and blood.”

  “Good, good! That’s what’s up!” Dwight replied.

  “Have a seat, Joshua, and order some food,” Will said.

  Joshua had a seat and picked up a menu and started to thumb through it.

  “How are you?” Quincy asked Will.

  “I’m okay. Just trying to maintain while chasing this one around.” Will pointed to his brother.

  “Have you given that lawyer I referred you to a call?” Quincy asked.

  “I did. She told me that I’m in for an uphill battle, trying to get my brother. I’m going to try to do it without getting the courts involved.”

  “Well, we will be praying for you that everything works out,” Jamal said.

  The waitress came, and Joshua ordered a meal, while Will ordered just a cup of coffee.

  “So what you been talking about?” Will asked.

  “We’ve been talking about this situation that Dwight has caused and how my so-called friends are taking his side,” Quincy said.

  “We’re not taking sides. Come on, man. Don’t be sensitive.” Jamal gave Quincy a friendly tap on the shoulder, and Quincy batted Jamal’s hand away with the back of his arm.

  “I’m not being sensitive. My family is in crisis, and you guys don’t know how hard it is for me to be here with this clown.”

  “Man, you ain’t going to be disrespecting me, for real,” Dwight said.

  “I wish you would. I wish you would get up enough gumption to step to me,” Quincy said before he felt a hand on his shoulder.

  “Be cool, Q. You’re better than that. We didn’t come here for this!” Will told him.

  Quincy suddenly felt ashamed of his actions and of the fact that a warrior like Will had to speak peace into his life.

  “Look, man, I don’t know you, but I respect you for coming here,” Will said to Dwight.

  “Good looking, fam. I appreciate it.” Dwight gave Will a fist bump.

  “But on the real, you don’t want it with Q, and you’re outnumbered.” Will cut Dwight with his eyes.

  There was a moment of tension before everyone at the table erupted in laughter.

  “But I’m saying, though. It’s nothing. I would’ve taken my beat down like a man, because I ain’t no punk,” Dwight snapped at Will.

  “I know you’re not a punk, but my whole point is, don’t be a punk to your child,” Quincy said, once again assuming control of the conversation. “I find it amazing how guys won’t run from a fight even though they are severely outnumbered, but they’ll run from fatherhood and they’ll leave their child outnumbered.”

  The men at the table went silent, as they were considering the strength of Quincy’s words. Quincy could tell that his words had an effect on Dwight, because Dwight became withdrawn from the group and stared at an empty space on the table.

  “Be there. That’s all I got to say. Even if you and the baby moms ain’t getting along, just be there and everything will be all right,” Will added.

  Quincy cringed at the term baby momma being applied to Sasha. She was not some näive teenage girl who couldn’t keep her legs closed, but at the moment she was in the same boat.

  “Listen, I raised my daughter to be independent, so she’s not like these others.” Quincy did the quotation marks gesture. “Baby mommas that are on WIC, welfare, child support, you name it. She’s going to be okay. Regardless, I will make sure of that.”

  “But not every girl has a father that’s well off like you, Q. They need that support,” Jamal said.

  “The way I see it, there’s no need for the baby’s father to be present in the child’s life if he’s going to be a negative role model. That’s all I’m saying.” Quincy leaned back and hoped that Dwight could read between the lines.

  “But that’s not in the scriptures,” Chauncey interjected.

  “Of course not. It’s being practical. The Bible does not have a road map for baby daddies. Isn’t it God’s will for a man and woman to marry?” Quincy said.

  “Of course, but just because it doesn’t always happen that way does not mean that the Bible does not have an answer for any situation,” Chauncey replied.

&nb
sp; Quincy said, “But there’s a practicality in the Bible that you always overlook, Deacon. Faith without work is—”.

  “Is dead,” Will said as he observed his brother, who had just put on some headphones to listen to music.

  “There you go. So the question that I have for this young brother right here is, do you have faith, and are you willing to work?” Quincy focused his attention on Dwight, who was clearly lost in the discussion.

  “Yeah, man. I’m going to be on my grind, getting it in until the fam is set.”

  “I guess that means you’re going to work hard. The only other thing I have to say, and then I’ll leave it alone, is keep it legit,” Quincy said before he leaned back to rest.

  “So, Brother Jamal, how are things with you and Chantel?” Chauncey asked.

  “Man, this premarital counseling is no joke. It got us thinking about things and talking about things that never crossed Chantel’s and my mind.”

  “But it’s going good, right?” Chauncey asked.

  “We argue more now than we did before. I mean, we argue over stupid stuff, like whether or not to fry the chicken or bake the chicken.”

  Quincy laughed, much to his own amusement.

  “That’s what marriage is about. At first you’re going to argue a lot, so it’s good that you get started now.”

  “I’ve never heard anyone say arguing is good,” Dwight said.

  “It keeps you honest. It creates an environment where you’re not pretending, but you’re keeping it real. There’s nothing wrong with arguing so long as there are ground rules,” Quincy said before he took a sip of his tea.

  “Ground rules?” Will asked.

  “Yeah. You notice that before every fight the ref reminds the fighters of the ground rules so that it can be a good clean fight? Karen and I’s ground rules are as follows.. . .” Quincy started to count on his hand. “Number one, we are not going to use the word divorce. Number two, we are not going to compare ourselves to anyone else’s marriage, and number three, we are not going to throw anything, including lamps, china, cats, and especially fists.”

  The men at the table chuckled and nodded. Quincy hoped that Dwight was taking in the information.

  “That’s something that we should have, but a relationship is different when you live together,” Jamal said.

  “I know you and Sister Chantel are not living together,” Chauncey interjected.

  The room became incredibly dense and uncomfortable. Quincy knew about Jamal and Chantel living together. He had advised Jamal not to move in and had been willing to help Jamal with other arrangements, but Jamal had insisted that moving in was the best thing to do, and he had asked Quincy to keep this secret to himself and not share it with everyone, especially Chauncey.

  “Brother Jamal!” Chauncey said.

  “We lived together for a brief moment, until we talked with Pastor Brown and I decided to move out until after the wedding. I’m staying with Will,” Jamal explained.

  “Brother Will, you knew about this?” All Chauncey got from Will was a head nod. “How come you didn’t tell me?” Chauncey’s eyes bounced from Jamal to Will in search of an answer.

  “The code,” Will said.

  “What code?” Chauncey asked, even more confused.

  “The guy code,” Jamal said.

  “I’m not gay,” Chauncey shouted, then realized he was talking too loudly and lowered his voice. “I’m not gay.”

  “No one is saying you’re not a guy, genius. It’s just that you walk around so high and mighty that no one wants to tell you anything,” Quincy said.

  “I tell you guys everything!” Chauncey huffed.

  “Oh really? Then when were you going to tell us about your little dating adventures?” Jamal asked.

  At this point, Will was beyond confused. “C, you got a girl?”

  “No. It’s just that it’s not good for a man to be alone. I would like to have a helpmate, so I’ve tried dating,” Chauncey said.

  “You’re not going to find her if you’re being too judgmental,” Jamal said.

  “Brother Jamal, I just want you and Chantel to be covered and for God to bless your relationship. Forgive me for trying to hold you accountable,” Chauncey said.

  “Look, C, I appreciate everything you do, but sometimes I just need you to be my brother in Christ and pray with me. As opposed to constantly showing me where I missed it,” Jamal said.

  “I don’t think I’m that bad,” Chauncey replied, and a score of murmurs from the table followed.

  “C, I know I messed up, but I’m trying to do what’s right, and I just need you guys’ support,” Jamal said.

  Chauncey did not respond to Jamal’s statement. Quincy wondered what everyone thought about Chauncey dating. Chauncey had expressed his desire to find a wife, but Quincy just had not known until this point the lengths to which Chauncey had gone in order to accomplish this goal.

  “Chauncey, what kind of woman are you looking to marry?” Quincy asked.

  “Well, she has to be a saved woman,” Chauncey replied.

  “We know that,” Quincy said.

  “Well, I don’t know. The rest is just complicated. Lately it just seems like every time I look up, someone is getting married. You start to wonder if you’re going to die alone.” Chauncey started to scratch the back of his neck, which, Quincy knew, was a sign that he was uncertain.

  “You’re not going to die alone, C. You got your brothers, and you will find a good wife that can put up with you,” Jamal said.

  “Lord, have mercy,” Quincy said after a sip from his iced tea.

  “You’re a good dude, C. God’s got a good woman waiting for you,” Will said.

  “I’m just wondering if I can be patient to wait on her,” Chauncey replied.

  “That’s that forty-year-old virgin talking,” Quincy said.

  After a moment of awkward silence, everyone proceeded to laugh. Quincy knew that with all that was going on between the four of them, it was going to be an eventful weekend indeed.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chauncey

  “Lord, forgive me for being distracted.”

  Chauncey did not expect to begin his morning with a prayer of repentance. He did not go into a bar or solicit a prostitute, though the environment surrounding the retreat was a distraction. His prayer was more for his growing disdain for being a part of the single men’s workshops year after year. He wanted a wife. His brother, Henry, was a clear example of how difficult it was to die alone, with no woman by one’s side. Yes, he had his sister, but he had lived too much of his life without a companion. Chauncey was determined not to suffer the same fate as Henry.

  He finished up his morning devotional and made his way to the conference room. It was embarrassing for a forty-six-year-old man not to be married. Chauncey arrived at the conference room first, for a workshop that was focused on being a single Christian man of integrity. In light of last year’s fiasco with Minister Jacobs, Chauncey had grown skeptical about taking pointers from a single Christian man about being a single Christian man. He needed to be taught by someone who had survived being single.

  Dwight entered the conference room and took a seat next to Chauncey. Chauncey was surprised to see that Dwight was up early and was on time, even though the only difference in his appearance from yesterday, when Chauncey first met him, was the fact that he now had on a white tank top instead of a gray one.

  “Hey, Brother Dwight. How are you?” Chauncey asked.

  “I’m okay. I’ve never been to one of these before,” Dwight replied.

  “Did your father or your grandmother ever take you to church?”

  “Man, if my father was to walk in here right now and sit down, I wouldn’t even recognize him. My grandmother used to have me in church all Sunday, and I mean all Sunday, from the crack of dawn until late at night. When I got old enough, I got as far away from church as possible.”

  Chauncey loved church. He lived for an opportunity to be in
God’s presence, but he knew that made him different from most men. He noticed that most young men, when they turned eighteen, would run far away from the church. He never knew what caused them to want to turn away from God. All he knew was that God had a hand in bringing them back to church.

  “I’ve never been to one of these, though.” Dwight cleared his throat. “So what are they going to do? Talk to us or something?”

  Chauncey chuckled and patted Dwight on the back. “Yes, brother . . . I’m sorry, but you never told me your last name.”

  “Oh, I don’t like for people to call me by my last name. Just call me Dwight or D.”

  “Okay, Brother Dwight. An awesome man of God will come in and talk to us, and you just have to open yourself up and let God speak to you.”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t talked to God in so long, I don’t know what to say.” Dwight hung his head in shame.

  “Son, God has forgiven you. The question is, will you forgive yourself?”

  Will entered the conference room in his signature black T-shirt and jeans. Will had a seat next to Chauncey. Chauncey took a moment to examine his open collared shirt and slacks and wondered if he was overdressed for the occasion.

  “Brother Will, how are you?” Chauncey said.

  “Good. Just tired,” Will replied.

  “Same here, but Mr. Page told me I have to come here,” Dwight said.

  “Yeah, man, but it’s cool to come and learn about walking right as a single Christian,” Will answered.

  “Chauncey, how come you’re still single?” Dwight asked.

  At first Chauncey was put off by Dwight’s question. Chauncey did not want to engage in a discussion about his social life with Dwight.

  “Well, I haven’t met the woman that God would want me marry, that’s all.” Chauncey let out a nervous laughter.

  Dwight shook his head. “Man, I don’t know. A man your age that ain’t married sounds a little suspect to me.”

  Will leaned forward to make eye contact with Dwight, who was on the other side of Chauncey. “Hey, man, don’t disrespect Chauncey. This man changed my life. If he’s waiting for God to bless him with a wife, then I respect that.”

  Brother Cage, one of the last single ministers, approached the podium. “Praise the Lord, brothers. Before we get started, we need to pray. We can’t do anything without prayer.”