The Brutal Truth

by Lee Winter

  Elena’s fingers dusted Maddie’s cheek. “What am I going to do with you?”

  “You really have to ask?”

  Elena raked her with an affectionate gaze. “Well, I trust your plans include staying closer to home now? That foolis…ill-conceived part of your career is now over? Or am I to be a travel writer’s widow?”

  “It’s over. Because I found out while I was over there that my heart belongs here. And I don’t want to be that far apart from you again. I’d miss you way too much.”

  “Well. There’s a coincidence.”

  Maddie gave her a small smirk. “Hey, can I ask you something? Why the truth bet? I never understood why you did it. It seemed not like you at all.”

  “It was a reaction.” Elena leaned up, her lips finding Maddie’s neck. “I asked you to be my PA, because I found I missed you too much to not have you at my side. This was a difficult admission for me. So in Sydney, I hoped my interest in you would be lessened if I put some professional distance between us. In response, you stopped smiling, sharing, and challenging me. I missed it more than I can say. So I used the truth bet. It was an excuse, but I wanted to know you again. Of course, that backfired. I learned more about my life than yours.”

  “Funny thing is,” Maddie said, “I thought you were just wanting me to admit I had an embarrassing crush on you.”

  “Oh I did,” Elena said, sounding positively evil. “We were going to get to your longing looks. But events overtook us.”

  “Hey, that’s so sneaky.” Maddie gave a rueful laugh. “God, I did not want to have to fess up to loving my boss!”

  “I would have enjoyed it, though,” Elena said, her eyes taking on a faraway look. “It would have been only fair. After all, you’ve had me entranced for such a long time—before we even met I was taken by your words. So when I say I’ve been patiently waiting for you, don’t think I’m exaggerating. In reality, I can’t believe you made me wait this long for you. I mean really, Madeleine.”

  Maddie’s burble of laughter at Elena’s feigned high dudgeon filled the room.

  Elena silenced it with a fierce kiss.

  Then, as she melted beneath Elena’s lips and fingers, Maddie felt sure she had never received a more beautiful declaration of love—even if it wasn’t in words.

  Who needed words anyway?

  CHAPTER 35

  Unspoken

  Maddie’s shoulder blades pressed against the front of her apartment door. She curled her hands up into sleek, black hair and moaned softly as soft lips covered hers. Saying goodbye after Elena stayed over was getting harder and harder.

  She whimpered at the thought and enjoyed the answering tug of hands on her hips. Hands that began wandering. A thrill flooded her until her brain caught up. Oh no, they absolutely could not do this in the hall. And besides, Elena had work, and Maddie had beach plans.

  “Mm,” Elena murmured. She breathed against her ear. “Delicious.”

  Okay, so who needed work or sun anyway?

  Maddie moaned.

  A cough sounded.

  Maddie almost jumped out of her skin. She opened her eyes, and Elena quickly stepped back.

  Simon. With a look that was way too smug. Great. He’d tease her about this forever.

  Maddie fixed her best polite face, annoyed at how warm her face felt. “Ah. Not quite how I’d hoped you’d first meet, but Simon Itani, meet Elena Bartell. Elena, Simon.”

  “Charmed.” He waggled his eyebrows. Given his hands were full with a surfboard and towel bag, at least he didn’t try and kiss her hand or something else desperately uncool. It was dodgy enough he was wearing a pair of floral board shorts, “Dad” sandals, and a faded Big Bang Theory T-shirt.

  Elena took one long, supremely satisfied look at him and neatened her lipstick with her finger. “Well, hello.” Her purred tone was so sultry it made Maddie’s ovaries do a flip. “The audacious Simon at last.”

  “Me? Audacious?” He laughed.

  “Your fashion choices gave you away.” Her eyes sparkled, as though daring him to meet her challenge.

  Simon grinned, looking completely unfazed. “So, the intimidating Elena Bartell. Although I gotta say, you’re a lot less intimidating now I’ve seen your hand on my best friend’s—”

  “Great!” Maddie jumped in with a panicked cheerfulness. “Okay, um, so we will all catch up properly real soon. Good luck at work today, Elena. Simon, get your ass inside.” She shot him a glare.

  He laughed far too hard, as he pushed past her and disappeared into her apartment, closing the door behind him.

  “Sorry about him,” Maddie said. “Sometimes I forget he’s all boy brain.”

  “Oh, but I can’t disagree with him. I did have my hand on certain body parts that were far too tempting.”

  Maddie shook her head. “You’re impossible. And I’m missing you already. Wish I could spend more time with you this weekend. We could, um, talk some more.” She felt warm all over thinking about how that “conversation” would go.

  Elena leaned forward and gave her a chaste peck on the cheek. “Have fun at the beach. Why not come over after you’re done? Rosetta will doubtlessly love to see you again. I suspect she will stuff you full of more fudge cake. You could even do some work from my place if you like. Then we could extend our discussion more when I get home.”

  “That sounds great.”

  Elena left her with a look so smouldering that Maddie slumped heavily against the door. “Bye,” she whispered to the now empty hall.

  “Hey, Mads?” came the muffled voice through her door a few moments later.

  “Yeah, Simon?”

  “When you’re done swooning, can we go to the beach?” His voice rose to a whine.

  She rolled her eyes. “What makes you think I’m swooning?”

  “Hello? I have met your girlfriend. And almost slipped in a puddle of her charisma.”

  Maddie smiled at the empty hall. Girlfriend. Elena Bartell was her girlfriend. Wow.

  * * *

  “You know, I’m starting to get sick of your attitude.” Maddie, sprawled on the couch with a laptop on her chest, gave a petulant look. “Always so superior. You walk all over me, and I just put up with it.”

  Oscar ignored her pointed glare and resumed stalking up and down her thighs and stomach before finally shoving his long nose over the edge of her laptop.

  “You wouldn’t care if I was writing a Pulitzer Prize story,” Maddie complained. “And you get away with it because you’re cute.”

  Leaning forward, Oscar licked her cheek.

  “Oh I get it. Think you can use your charm on me?”

  Oscar batted the back of her laptop screen with his head, causing it to close over onto her hands.

  “Fine! You win.” Maddie shut her machine and placed it on the coffee table. She gave the dog a thorough scratch behind his red ears.

  Oscar flopped onto her chest and closed his eyes.

  “Lemme guess, you’re going to fall asleep on me, and I won’t be able to move for three hours? Because pet rules apply? What if I had a big deadline, did you ever think of that?”

  Oscar blinked back at her. He showed no signs of budging.

  “You’re irresistible and you know it.” Maddie sighed. Her fingers threaded Oscar’s beautiful fur, and she smiled. “Just like your mistress.”

  “My ears are burning.”

  Maddie glanced up to find Elena leaning against the door, arms folded and an amused look on her face.

  “Well, I see you’ve finally learned the house rules,” Elena added. “It’s Oscar’s way or Oscar’s way. You should be honoured. He doesn’t like many people. Looks like he’s well and truly claimed you.”

  “Maybe Oscar just has good taste.”

  “No argument from me.” Elena walked over to her and gently pushed Maddie’s feet along the couch, making way to sit beside her. “I was hoping you’d be here.”

  “Miss me?”

  Elena gave a long-suffering sigh. “
It turns out you’re such a distracting influence that it was easier to just come home and get my work done here, than sit at work thinking about you on my Saturday.”

  A warmth suffused Maddie, and she found herself grinning stupidly. She loved it when Elena said things like that. She always looked so sincere. “That’s my evil plan. To lure you to my side and love you to death. How’s it working out so far?”

  “I’d say it’s the most cunning takeover bid I’ve ever seen. I’m impressed.”

  Maddie gave Oscar another rub behind his ears. “I wish I could be as brilliant in all other areas.” She glared at her laptop.

  “Ah. How’s your latest story coming along? Need a second set of eyes to read it?”

  “That’d be good. Later, though, when I’m not drowning in conflicting timelines. Right now I can’t even work out what the agreed facts are.”

  “You’ll figure it out. You’re good at this.”

  “Good at storytelling?”

  Elena regarded her. “Yes.”

  “But not news features.”

  “That too. You’re an excellent journalist. As I explained in one of my emails to you in Vietnam. Did you not believe me?”

  “I thought you were just trying to talk me into coming home.”

  “Oh, I was.” Elena shot her a sheepish look, which she turned into an eye roll. “But still, I meant it. You’re one of the best reporters I have ever seen. I’m not sure how I failed to notice your drive for excellence in New York.”

  “Well to be fair, you were right. I was inconsistent—on account of being miserably homesick.” She studied Elena. “You seriously think I’m one of the best?”

  “You surely don’t need my approval anymore, do you? You have to know by now. From others. It’s not just me saying it.”

  Maddie thought about that. She’d received a lot of accolades lately. “That’s true, but it’s just that your opinion means a lot to me. I think sometimes I really need to hear the words from you.”

  There was a silence as the unspoken question sat between them. What Maddie was really asking for. It had been months of flirting, dating, making love. She had no doubt she was madly in love. The mere thought of Elena drove her to distraction; she was like air, she needed her so much. But what did Elena feel?

  Elena’s fingers found the grey linen material of her own pants and brushed them down. “I appreciate beauty in the world more than anything else, Madeleine.” She looked her in the eye. “And all I ever want to be is with you. Doesn’t that tell you something?”

  “It tells me you find me beautiful. And I love that, but…” If she’s not ready, she’s not ready. “Hey, never mind. It doesn’t matter.”

  Except it did matter. Maddie looked down.

  “I used to think I had all the answers,” Elena said slowly. “Before I met you, I used to think I was so brutally honest. I wielded the truth like a weapon. Now I see that the truest thing I know is all the lies we tell ourselves. It’s terrifying—like seeing tiny cracks in a glass window, everywhere I look. Now, I don’t trust myself anymore. I’ve lost faith in my own perception. My world view is forever shattered.”

  “Because you didn’t know about Richard.”

  “Because I still worry that I did know. I’m torturing myself with the thought that, somewhere deep inside, a part of me was aware, and I told myself lies to avoid facing it. So you see, I don’t have faith any longer. My opinions on personal matters don’t feel sound. But I know this: when I look at you, you’re all I want to look at. I know that when we’re together, I don’t want to leave. But I don’t know if I can trust what these feelings mean. Do you understand? It feels like…my foundations are cracked.”

  Maddie took in the uncharacteristic hesitation in her voice. “You need time. To believe again.”

  Elena nodded. “In the meantime, can’t you see the truth, whatever that may be, when you look at me?”

  “I can. I do see it.” Maddie had often thought the warmth in Elena’s eyes told her more than her words. “Thank you for explaining how you feel. And thanks for sharing your home with me today. I am pretty sure I get way more work done with Sydney Harbour to look out at. Do you know I have a snow dome of almost this exact view?”

  She petered out when a strange look crossed Elena’s face.

  “What is it?” Maddie asked.

  “It’s nothing. I just realised how much I was looking forward to you being here. That’s never happened before. I used to find having anyone around me at home stressful.”

  “I am pretty easygoing.” Maddie smiled. “I’m just like Oscar but with better breath and no hang-ups about store-brand food.”

  Elena ran the backs of her fingers along Maddie’s bare arm. “Well, I do appreciate your coat. And it’s rather useful that you’re house-trained.” She scooped her dog from Maddie’s lap and deposited him on the floor. Oscar protested with a half-hearted yip but then settled into a ball in front of them and went back to sleep. Elena stretched out beside Maddie then curled herself around her.

  “Want to go out tonight?” she asked, closing her eyes. “I’ve been invited to opening night for a new play at Belvoir St Theatre.”

  Maddie studied her serene face, still amazed she was allowed to see her like this. She slipped her fingers through her dark hair. “No, thanks. Not when you’re in my arms like this. Where’s the incentive to let go?”

  “Stay in, then? I have to make a few calls, tie up some loose ends, sign off on a deal, and bring back flares, but I’d appreciate some company later.”

  Maddie playfully slapped her arm. “Elena! You are not bringing back flares.”

  “Only over my dead body.” She smiled, fluttered her eyes open, and gazed up into Maddie’s face. “But the offer stands. Stay here? Unless you had plans?”

  “I do have plans. A new vegetable slice recipe I want to try out on you that Mum gave me and says you’ll love. How she assumes she knows your palate is a complete mystery.”

  “Well, we did bond that one time, discussing your birthday.”

  “Mmm. Well, we’ll find out if she’s right. I just have a few more quotes to type up. I can work on the rest of my story tomorrow.”

  “You could do your story from here tomorrow, too. Or longer if you wanted.” Elena hesitated. “There’s a spare study upstairs that’s just gathering dust, so you wouldn’t have to compete with Oscar on the sofa for real estate. And a guest room next to it if you just needed to have some time out. Or my room if you prefer. Stay as long as you like. Besides, I also have it from a reliable source that Sydney Harbour views are good for writing.”

  Maddie paused. Did she just…? She searched Elena’s face, her heart starting to race. “Elena? I’m sorry if I’m reading this all wrong, but are you asking me to move in?”

  “That depends.”

  “On?”

  “Whether you’ll say yes.” Elena fiddled with her blouse sleeve. “I know you have your own life, and you probably don’t want to give up your independence. I’m sure you like that Simon can just drop over whenever he wants now. I know he’s important to you. Friends should be. But that wouldn’t have to change. I think I’d very much like to share my life with someone I… Someone I respect, who challenges me, who I care about, appreciate, and who I can’t seem to tolerate not being near. So, if you feel the same way…”

  Maddie sat up straight. “Ask me, then. Because the inside scoop is I’ll probably say yes.”

  Elena didn’t ask. She was too busy kissing her.

  Maddie had no complaints.

  CHAPTER 36

  What Goes Around

  The Australasian Legends of Publishing ball was always the calendar highlight—and it had rolled around again. It was officially her and Elena’s fourth and final event together under the terms of their contract. So much had happened—such as moving in with Elena four months ago—that it was hard to believe only a single year had passed since their first Legends ball together.

  Their car rolled
to a stop, and the bright, milling crowds, dressed in their finery, caught Maddie’s eye.

  The driver exited and opened Elena’s door.

  Maddie slid across the back seat and followed her out.

  Within minutes they were inside the grand, heritage-listed hotel, in a long hall that ran around the edges of the main ballroom. Elena surreptitiously took her hand to lead her farther in, her warm fingers giving Maddie the boost of confidence she needed.

  Elena paused in a shadowed corner and gave Maddie an intense look. “Relax. I’ve heard your speech. All eleven versions. And you will be superb. You will impress them. Just be yourself.”

  “This is nuts.” Maddie ran a hand down her dress, wondering how any of this had happened—her career, her life in Sydney with Elena, being asked to give the Legends speech this year. “I mean, I know I’m filling in for Alan Kadinsky, but couldn’t they find anyone else? It’s a mistake. I’m not a legend. I—”

  “Really, Madeleine, who was the youngest ever winner of the Coleman prize? Who had three major scoops in one year? One of them international?”

  “This is not about winning things; it’s about me.” Maddie hesitated. “This is so me. All these doubts. That they’ve made a mistake. There’s a lot of things I don’t think I deserve. I worry it’s all going to come crashing down.”

  Elena regarded her in silence. She leaned in. “I will never see you as a mistake, Madeleine.”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “Perhaps, but you may have thought it. Has it occurred to you I feel undeserving also? You are young and beautiful and smart, with the world at your feet. I’m a woman with a reputation for being cold and heartless. While it’s gratifying that Bartell Corp is doing well, that’s the only thing that makes me in any way impressive to the world.”

  Maddie started. “What? That’s crazy! You’re…” She squeezed Elena’s hand. “Don’t you get how I see you? You’re amazing with or without your business. And this…us…isn’t some passing thing for me. This is it. I’m in it for the rest of my life. I’m all in. Do you get that?”