Someone to Love

by Riley Rhea

  Damn, do I sound like her when the tables are turned? Probably. I’m nosy like that.

  “I really like him, Brenna. I didn’t want to screw it up.”

  Now grinning at me, she says, “You like him, like him, don’t ya?”

  Shoving her over so she falls onto her side, laughing I reply, “Yeah I do.” I do like him and I want to know him better. I just don’t know that he’ll give me the chance. He seems closed off at times, but I intend to change that.

  “That’s great Lexi, you know he lives close to Tucker, right?”

  I nod. Yeah I know. I also know that it doesn’t really matter much except that when I go see them... I will be tempted to see him too.

  “He kissed me and oh my God, Brenna! I felt butterflies and thought I would melt at his feet. It was…” I pause trying to grasp the right word.

  “That good huh?” She giggles.

  I nod again. “Yeah it was that good.” I’m determined that it will happen again.

  We spend the next couple hours cleaning out drawers, sorting, and packing until the guys return. Of course Tucker is instantly all over Brenna. They are too cute, seriously. Spencer and I both tell them to get a room at the same time and then we are all laughing.

  I feel disgusting, and in serious need of another shower. Packing is hard work. Brenna brings up food, and that gives me a chance to be alone with Spencer again. And of course, I’m more than pleased when he volunteers that we’ll pick up the food. Looks like that shower will have to wait.

  Tucker follows us out into the parking lot and Spencer takes a small box from him. I can’t contain my squeal.

  “Is that what I think it is?” I ask. Tucker smiles from ear to ear and strolls back toward Brenna’s apartment.

  “So, is that what took y’all so long today?” I ask, as Spencer and I get into my car and head toward the closest drive-thru.

  “Yep, that’s what he was doing over there this morning at the ass crack of dawn.”

  “Brenna is going to flip out. I’m so happy for her.” But as I say that, I’m also a little sad. I get the feeling that I’m losing my best friend to Tucker. And a little envious of what they have together.

  “You can’t tell her, Lexi. I don’t know when he plans to ask her, but I don’t see him waiting very long either.”

  I can only nod in response. Like I’d spoil that for her. I pull into the restaurant and order our food. We both sit quietly while we wait. I’m determined to change the silence between us. I have him to myself for a few more minutes and I plan on taking full advantage of that.

  While I’m waiting on traffic to clear so I can get back onto the highway, I plunge in head first. “So tell me, Spencer, do you ever see yourself in Tucker’s shoes?”

  Spencer shifts in his seat and turns to look out the window. “I was close once.”

  I can sense his mood shift. It’s like I’ve crossed over into dangerous territory and this line of questioning may send him fleeing.

  “A story for another time, perhaps?” I ask softly.

  “Perhaps.” Spencer glances at me, turmoil in his gaze. This isn’t a subject he wants to talk about it must cause him too much anguish.

  “Well then, can we talk about last night?”

  “Lexi,” he sighs. “I have to be honest with you. I’m not looking for more. I have nothing to offer you.”

  “Spencer, I’m not asking for anything more than a chance to get to know you. You can’t deny the chemistry between us. I know you felt it, too. I’m okay with just friends. If it goes further, great. If it doesn’t, then we’ve both gained a friend. Can you handle that?”

  He studies my face for a moment before a small smile curves his lips. “Yeah, Lexi, I believe I can handle that.”

  It didn’t take us long to get the food and get back to Brenna’s. I’m glad that we had a chance to get that all out in the open. We sit and talk to one another while waiting for Brenna and Tucker to come back into the room. Seriously they had more than enough time to shower already.

  Spencer and I talk quietly. No way do I want Brenna to overhear me telling him about that first night and the whole popcorn incident. Spencer is laughing right along with me. I finish telling him the whole milk story since I only gave him a little of that last night. My goal is to keep him laughing, and, so far, it seems to be working.

  “Did you tell him about being popped upside the head with a spatula?” Brenna adds, as if I’d forget being hit in the head with a flying piece of plastic.

  Automatically I reach up and rub the side of my head. I can’t believe she threw a spatula at me! Who does that? I admit it, I was just looking. Okay, I was possibly drooling a little too, but in my defense he’s hot and I couldn’t help myself.

  Spencer looks between us, waiting on one of us to clue him in. As Brenna tells him about me ogling Tucker that day and her trying to kill me with a spatula, a look passes across his face. I’m not sure if it was jealously or if his guard just went back up. Thanks Brenna! Guess that’s another piece of payback.

  When Brenna gets close enough to us, I shove her food bag into her chest. I think she knew immediately that I was ticked at her. We all sit down to eat while listening to music. But Spencer hasn’t said a word. He seems to be lost in his own world. This, of course, just sparks my curiosity even more. When we are finished eating, I take our trash to throw it away. I’m not at all surprised to see the lovebirds, Tucker and Brenna, at it again.

  “Time to pop some popcorn,” I joke, walking around them to drop the bag in the trash.

  The next couple of hours we sit and sing along to the songs we know, and talk and laugh through the ones we don’t. Spencer is soon laughing again, so I guess he came out of his funk. When I am ready to go and stand to say my goodbyes, Spencer stands too. I have to wonder if this is him being a gentleman or if he’s coming with me. My question about his intentions are answered as he says bye to Tucker and Brenna, follows me out the door, and back over to my apartment.

  Once inside my apartment, I close the door before turning to him.

  “What do you want to do tonight?”

  “Sleep.” He quickly answers.

  “You know you can sleep in my bed. It’s plenty big for the both of us and a whole lot more comfortable than the couch.”

  “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, Lexi,” He says, rubbing the back of his neck. He seems to be thinking about it though.

  “Look Spencer, I’m not asking for anything. I’m just offering you a more comfortable place to sleep.”

  That sounded unbelievable even to me.

  He’s silent for so long, that I give up and head to my room. Grabbing clothes, I go into the bathroom to shower. When I head back into my room, I notice the other pillow on my bed but, Spencer isn’t in there. The bathroom door closes and the shower turns on, answering the question of where he is. Instead of stressing about it, I turn out the lights and climb into bed.

  Chapter Four

  Spencer

  Bracing my hands on the wall, I drop my head and let the water flow over my head and shoulders. I don’t know what came over me when Brenna said she threw a spatula at Lexi for checking out Tucker. I didn’t even know her then, why should it matter? Hell, why should it matter now? She’s not mine so I shouldn’t be feeling the slightest bit of jealously right now, but I did.

  It’s like my head and body are at war with each other. The walls around my heart are cracking with each one of her smiles. Each hour that passes, the crack gets a little longer and a little wider. More than anything, I want to get to know her better and see where this could go, but then I think about what I walked in on two years ago. I completely shut back my emotions, to keep from allowing the pain to come through.

  I tell myself that Lexi isn’t Tessa, but I can’t seem to let my guard down. It doesn’t help seeing Brenna and Tucker together. Their love is undeniable, an instant connection between the two of them. It makes me realize that isn’t what I had with Tessa. The
way I feel around Lexi is nothing like what I felt around my ex. Do I really know what love is? Had I really loved Tessa?

  After washing up, I shut off the water, step out of the shower, and dry off quickly before putting on my shorts. To be honest, I’m more than a little worried about sharing the bed with Lexi. It’s not like I’ve never slept beside a woman before, but she’s different. This pull I feel towards her is undeniable and scary. I want to explore it further and run far away at the same time.

  Once I open the bathroom door, I notice the light is off in her room. Thinking she may already be asleep, I try to be as quiet as I can as I walk over toward her bed. Just the thought of getting in there with her has my heart racing. When I pull back the cover and slide under them her scent hits me. This night is going to be a test of my willpower.

  “Can I ask you something, Spencer?” She asks softly.

  She is lying on her side facing away from me. With the lights off maybe I can answer whatever she throws at me.

  “Sure.”

  “What did she do to you?”

  Okay, maybe I can’t answer whatever she throws at me.

  I thought I was prepared for questions, but I didn’t expect this would be one of them. Playing dumb I take a deep breath and answer her. “Who?”

  “The girl that took your smile away. Whatever she did, it must have been huge. It’s definitely left its mark on you.”

  I don’t say anything in response. I can’t. She sees too much. Besides, Tucker, no one has asked me about her in the entire two years I’ve been here.

  “Look, it’s alright. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I would like to know someday, maybe not now, but when you’re ready to talk about it.”

  “It’s not something I talk about, ever. Maybe someday I will, but not today.”

  Silence fills the room. She’s quiet for so long that I think she’s asleep before she finally responds. “Like I said, whenever you’re ready, I will be here to listen.”

  I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to relive that night. I appreciate that she isn’t pushing me to talk about it and that she is offering to listen when I’m ready. Not many people are like that, but that’s the problem. Lexi doesn’t seem to be like most people I’ve ever known. She appears to be one of those people that go with the flow. I wish I could be more like her.

  “What about you?” I ask, taking the focus off me and put it on her.

  “What about me?”

  “Anyone ever take away your smile?”

  “No. I’ve never been in love before, so no one has ever had that power over me.”

  Wait, what? How has this beautiful woman never been in love? “I find that hard to believe.”

  She turns over to face me. “I’ve never met anyone that I wanted to hand my heart over to, Spencer. Love is a powerful thing and it’s not something I take for granted. If I ever find someone to love, I will hand them my whole heart for forever and never take it back.”

  There is truth and sincerity in her words. She wants that once in a lifetime kind of love that unfortunately, so few ever actually find. Sadly, that’s something I can never offer her. This thought doesn’t sit well with me at all.

  “Do you think you will ever find that?” I ask.

  “Absolutely, don’t you?”

  “No. I don’t know. I guess it’s possible. Look at Tucker. I’ve worked for him for two years and I know the whole history between him and Brenna. When he saw her again a few weeks back, it was the happiest I’d seen him in all that time.”

  “They’re so sweet together. I get a toothache just watching them with each other. I really hope they get their happy ever after they deserve it. They’ve waited long enough.” she says.

  “Yeah, they have.”

  It does give one hope that there’s someone out there made just for you and only you. Someone you can trust with your heart and know they will never be unfaithful.

  “We all need someone to love, Spencer. We aren’t meant to always walk alone.”

  “Maybe some of us were meant to walk alone.”

  Lexi rises up on her elbow and leans over me. Even though the room is dark I feel her eyes on me. My heart starts pounding.

  “I hope you don’t really believe that, Spencer. Whatever happened in the past, you have to let it go and move on. You have to forgive and forget and stop living in the past. Don’t let it hold you back from what you want.”

  “That’s easier said than done.” I reply.

  What she doesn’t understand is that I really wish I could just forget it all and get lost inside her.

  She lowers her head and presses her lips to mine softly before she turns back on her side. With her back to me, she whispers, “Goodnight.”

  I listen to her breathing as it evens out and sleep claims her. Her words keep playing over and over in my head. Maybe it’s time to face it and move on. Maybe she can help me if we move slowly enough. I just don’t want to be the one to break her heart if I can’t.

  * * *

  Lexi

  The sun is shining brightly through my windows, shooting wide beams of light across the bed. I feel an arm wrapped around my waist. Spencer. His deep breathing tells me that he’s still sound asleep. I’m too afraid to move because I don’t want to wake him. Right now, all I want to do is snuggle closer to Spencer and go back to sleep. I want him to wake up just like this.

  By our conversation last night, I know that he’s had his heart broken and his trust betrayed. It leads me to believe he was cheated on and that hurts my heart. I know nothing of his past, but that doesn’t stop me from believing that he’s a good guy and didn’t deserve whatever happened. I want to heal him and show him that he’s safe with me. The way I feel right now with him pressed so close to me is something I’ve never felt before. He could very well be the one I’ve held out for. I could love this man, if he’d only let me.

  Spencer begins to stir a little and move against me. I close my eyes pretending to be asleep to see what he does. His arm tightens a little around my waist as he pulls me tighter against him. I can feel his erection pressed against me and it takes everything in me not to rub against him. When his hand moves upward from my stomach and cups my breast, I can no longer be still.

  My body is tingling all over. I begin throbbing between my legs, shooting delicious desire straight down to my core. This man could probably bring on an orgasm without even trying. I’m that affected by his touch. I wiggle my butt against him, pushing myself even closer. I hear a low groan come from him as his lips touch the back of my neck.

  “Good morning,” he says softly and I wonder how long he’s been awake. He hasn’t pulled away yet so I am left to believe he’s okay with how he woke up.

  “Good morning yourself,” I’m a little breathless and can’t stop the moan that escapes as he squeezes the breast he’s holding.

  “What time is it?”

  Looking over at the clock on my nightstand, “8:15 am, why?”

  “We’re supposed to meet Brenna and Tucker in a little bit.”

  Damn! I almost forgot that we were supposed to get breakfast and then go help Brenna and Tucker move. I’m not ready to get up yet though. I want to lay right here, just like this, and see what he does next.

  “Yeah, we are, but I don’t want to move.”

  He laughs lightly and moves his hand off my breast, trailing his fingers across my stomach causing me to shiver. Then he moves away from me. I miss the heat and press of his body against mine instantly. I’m so not ready for this weekend to be over. I need more time with him.

  His hand connects with my shoulder as he pushes gently down. I’m on my back now looking up at him. He doesn’t move any closer as he looks down at me. His beautiful eyes are touching every inch of my face, like he’s committing it to memory. He reminds me so much of an artist and I wonder if he draws.

  “We have to get up, you know,” he says as he leans a little closer, “even though I’d rather stay right here to
o.”

  His lips touch mine and butterflies begin fluttering in my stomach. Just that simple touch affects me so much. He doesn’t linger long before he pulls away. There’s heat in his eyes and know he’s as affected as I am, yet he’s holding back. I know now is not the time to push him, one day soon he will lose that control. I plan on being there when he does.

  “I better get dressed,” He says as he gets up out of bed. Lifting my head, I watch him walk out of the room and then I crash back against the bed. I’m going to bust down those walls surrounding him, brick by brick if I have to.

  Chapter Five

  Spencer

  Waking up with Lexi pressed against me was Heaven and Hell all at once. I knew she wasn’t asleep; she was being too still. I pull her tighter against me, knowing she can feel my erection against her ass. I couldn’t help myself as I ran my hand from her waist up to cup her breast. Yep, that got her attention. Yes, holding her is Heaven.

  The Hell of it was that my dick is harder than it has ever been before and there is nothing I can do about it for a couple reasons. One, we didn’t have time and two, I didn’t know if I was ready to take that step with her. I have a feeling that sex with Lexi will be more than a one-time thing. This girl could very well knock down all the barriers I’ve built to protect myself. She’s already knocked a big ass crack in it.

  Her rubbing against me isn’t helping my hard-on at all, but it feels so damn good that I can’t contain a groan. I place a kiss on the back of her neck before telling her, “Good Morning.” I could easily get lost in Lexi. That scares the shit out of me, but I can’t seem to pull myself away. No matter how much I think I can’t do this with her, my body has other ideas. After releasing her breast and I trail my fingers down her stomach. Nudging her shoulder to press her in to the bed, I lean in close and tell her we have to go, even though I’d like nothing more than to stay right here and have my way with her.

  I’m letting my body rule my head right now. When I press my lips to hers, heat shoots through my body and I know I have to back away now, before this goes any further. I can tell by looking at her, that she has no objections to staying right here, but she doesn’t push either. That’s one thing I’ve found I really like about her, she seems to go with the flow.