Dangerously Close

by Dee J. Adams

  “Actually,” the nurse said. “We just had a cancellation today and the doctor was hoping we could put you into the slot. He’d rather not wait for you to start your shots.”

  Ashley went numb with the information. “Today?” she finally blurted. “He wants me in there today?”

  “If you can manage it. I called you as soon as the appointment opened up. It’s not until this afternoon so you have time to make arrangements.”

  Paula would be in this afternoon and could take her.

  With her heart pounding furiously, Ashley took a deep breath. She had to do this. “I can make it.” She scribbled the information down and hoped it was legible. Not that she’d forget it. The time and address blazed in her head like a neon sign.

  The only thing lacking was the time she needed to deal with the whole procedure.

  There went four weeks of psyching herself up for the treatment. Now she had hours to get used to the idea.

  What if it worked? What if she could actually see again? Hope erupted in her chest. The shots would be well worth it if the procedure actually worked, but she walked a line of doubt because what if it didn’t help?

  The urge to call Mel had her reaching for the phone, but she stopped. He’d get his hopes up for her and she didn’t want both of them to be stressed. He had work to worry about. He didn’t need to worry about her too. Besides, she’d never called him while he was out of town. It seemed like crossing a line. Yes, they were friends, great friends, and very recently fucking friends, but they’d never talked when he was gone. They’d only caught up when he returned. She knew he was headed to San Diego, but didn’t know where. He’d told her Seger’s favorite hotels in major cities. The Fairmont in San Francisco. The Waldorf Astoria in New York. The Drake in Chicago. But San Diego hadn’t been on the list. Seger liked places with history, with class. Places she’d always wanted to visit.

  It had only made her longing to travel more acute. To see the cities and beautiful hotels she’d only seen in magazines and online. Maybe if these shots worked, she’d be able to live her dream after all.

  Right now, she had to live each day at a time. She couldn’t think about the shots not working or having to deal with her blindness permanently.

  Boy did she need a Dr Pepper.

  She also didn’t have the heart to keep Paula out when she arrived an hour early. Of all days to test the new pass code theory… Ashley wasn’t taking any chances that Paula might drive away and not return.

  Paula opened the front door and Roamer didn’t seem as happily ballistic as usual. In fact his sharp bark echoed in the entryway. “Hey, good morning. Sorry I had to buzz, but the pass code didn’t work.”

  “Yeah, Mel changed it because the security company called and told him there was some kind of breach in their system. They advised him to change the code so he must have done it last night.” Ashley fought the urge to cross her fingers behind her back.

  “Oh.” Paula didn’t seem fazed. “Okay. Well, what’s the new code?”

  Ashley heard her digging in her purse…maybe looking for something to write with…? Roamer’s sporadic barking continued. “I don’t know. He didn’t tell me. I think he’s not thrilled with me keeping the gate open for the gardener or…” You. But she couldn’t say that. “Or the Fed Ex guy when I order something.”

  “Yeah, but I’m not those people. I should have the code. Stop it, Roamer!” she snapped. “Enough already.”

  Ashley didn’t like Paula taking her frustration out on Roamer and put her hand out for him to come to her. “Well, I’ll have to get the code from Mel and he’s out of town so it’ll have to wait. I don’t want to bother him while he’s working.” Roamer’s cold nose nudged her palm and she stroked his head.

  Paula’s grumble coincided with the shuffling in her purse again. Ashley felt her anger from across the room. Time to distract her.

  “I hope you’re okay with an excursion this afternoon. I have to go to the doctor’s office and begin the procedure for my eyes.”

  “Really?” Paula’s surprise was unmistakable. “When did that change?”

  “This morning. They had a cancellation and I’m filling the slot.”

  “That’s great.” Paula moved toward her and Ashley braced herself for impact. The hug lasted a little too long and Ashley pulled away. “Are you nervous or scared?”

  “Nervous, yes. But why would I be scared? I’m more hopeful than anything.”

  “Of course, you should be. I’m glad you’re not scared. I’m sure they’ve given those shots thousands of times and everything will be fine. It probably won’t hurt at all.”

  Resisting the urge to grit her teeth, Ashley headed toward her bedroom. “I’m sure you’re right.” She put some distance between them. “I’m going to take a quick shower and I’ll be right out.”

  “Great. I’ll be here.”

  Of course she would.

  * * *

  That afternoon, they arrived at the doctor’s office where a nurse guided Ashley to a back room. Though her doctor had warned her of the side effects, Ashley still had to hear all the possible problems related to the procedure. The possibility of eye infection, swelling, headaches, detached retina, cataracts…the list went on and on and none of it sounded fun. Ashley just initialed where they pointed the pen. She had to try this.

  The doctor gave her a shot to numb the area, but Ashley dug her nails into her palm so hard she barely felt the needle. After fifteen minutes, the doctor administered the Lucentis shot. Aside from some pressure, it didn’t hurt and the fear factor lessened. She had to come back every twenty-eight days for the next six months to a year and maybe longer. It all depended on how she reacted to the medication. Though she’d been told the shots wouldn’t produce results overnight, the time frame still sounded frighteningly long. Six months to a year? What if it never worked? Ashley shook off the thoughts.

  An hour later, Paula led her from the doctor’s office. She’d had to remain after the shot to make sure she suffered no adverse reactions. So far so good.

  “How about we get an early dinner?” Paula suggested.

  “I’m not really up for it if that’s okay?” Ashley said. “I’m wiped out. I just want to go home and crash.”

  Paula stopped and Ashley had to stop with her. “Now don’t go falling into some crazy depression because you can’t see after one round of shots,” she admonished. She squeezed Ashley’s hand. “Everything’s going to work out fine. I’m sure of it.”

  It didn’t change the fact that Ashley wanted to go home. Now. “I appreciate that. I really do and I’m not depressed. Just tired. I’d really like to go home.”

  “You have to eat and you hardly ever go out. C’mon,” Paula said as she moved again. “Name the place and we’ll make it a party.”

  This time Ashley stopped. “Paula!” She said her name too loud. She heard it the minute it escaped her lips and she took a breath to calm herself. “Please just take me home. If you’re that hungry we can pick something up on the way, but I don’t really feel like sitting at a restaurant.” Besides, the last few times out with Paula had been miserable. She’d spilt drinks and bumped into other people’s tables. She wasn’t in the mood to be embarrassed.

  “Okay.” Paula finally got the message. “I just thought it’d be good for you.”

  “Going home would be good for me.” Ashley hoped her tone didn’t sound as nasty as she felt.

  “Of course. Fine.”

  The silence on the drive home spoke volumes, but Ashley didn’t care. Her eyes ached and she wanted to fall into bed and hide under the covers.

  The SUV slowed and Paula made a left turn and stopped. “What’s the code?” she asked.

  God, no wonder she’d been so quiet. She’d been thinking about getting the pass code once they arrived home.

  “I told you I don’t have it.” At least that was the truth.

  “How are you supposed to get inside?”

  Ashley dug into her purse a
nd found her keys. “I have a key to the walk-in gate.” She opened the door, thrilled to be ending Paula’s afternoon a few minutes early. “I can make it from here. Thanks.”

  Paula cut the engine. “Don’t be ridiculous. I can help you. I can park out here and walk up with you.”

  Ashley gritted her teeth as she handed Paula the keys. She took them back as soon as the latch opened. “Paula, thank you so much for everything today. But I can walk up on my own. I’m just going to crash. It’s been a long day.” A long emotional day.

  Finally, Paula took the hint. “Okay. But call me if you need anything or if you don’t feel well.”

  “I will. I promise.” Ashley closed the door and started up the long driveway, thrilled to be alone.

  “Don’t forget to get me the pass code,” Paula said to her back.

  Not a chance in hell. Ashley just lifted an arm and waved.

  * * *

  Mel plucked at his guitar in his music room as he waited for the limo to pick him up. His equipment had been sent ahead and his bag was packed and waiting at the front door. Sometimes there were reasons he didn’t want to play gigs, but never had he had a reason this important. He didn’t want to leave Ashley.

  In the past week and a half, he’d spent more time making love to her than he had making music. It had been the absolute best time of his life. Better than playing to a sold-out crowd at the Rose Bowl. Better than receiving his first gold record. He’d never had to coax a woman so much in his life. He loved it. She didn’t cling, she didn’t demand. She took what he offered and gave back threefold. She generously gave him her body over and over again until Mel decided she was his angel and he’d found heaven.

  Most of the time he used protection and some of the time he didn’t. There were those moments when he just had to have her and couldn’t wait, moments when the light hit her face or her eyes and her skin glowed fresh and clean and he had to sink inside her or die. It was a tremendous gamble for both of them, but maybe it was his way of rolling the dice to see where the road would lead. Maybe he wanted fate to bind him to Ashley.

  Shit, it couldn’t last, but even as the thought hit, he shoved it aside. Why couldn’t it last? Why did there have to be someone besides her in his life? Sure, they were friends, best friends, but isn’t that what made a couple strong?

  A couple.

  They were a couple.

  The idea of moving on from Ashley actually made him sick inside. He’d never laughed with another woman more. Had never had a better physical relationship ever. He strummed some chords and the words just flowed.

  I can’t see the world as anything but round.

  I can’t hear the music and not feel the sound.

  I can’t imagine the ocean not blue.

  And I can’t imagine a life without you.

  You took my heart. You stole my soul.

  You made me right. You made me whole.

  Promise me you’ll never leave.

  And I promise I will always believe.

  You showed me a life I’ve never had.

  You taught me that love ain’t so bad.

  I’m standing here, I’ll always be true.

  ’Cause I can’t imagine a life without you.

  You took my heart. You stole my soul.

  You made me right. You made me whole.

  Promise me you’ll never leave.

  And I promise I will always believe.

  I will always believe.

  Always Believe. Mel jotted down the title, his heart bursting with the feeling that Ashley had inspired yet another hit for his new sound. She inspired not only his music, but also his spirit.

  One of these days he was going to have to tell her who he was.

  Every time he got too happy, the little reminder squeezed its way into his brain. But he still had plenty of time to tell her. He’d be gone next week with another gig, but her eye appointment with the doctor was still weeks away. When she found out he’d lied, she’d be hurt. More than anything in the world, he didn’t want to hurt her.

  “Knock, knock? Anyone home?” Ashley called.

  Just hearing her voice made him frickin’ happy. He’d gotten in the habit of leaving the back door open for her. They took turns sharing bedrooms…or kitchen tables…or wherever they ended up screwing their brains out. They were slowly making their way through every room in both houses and it was damn fun. Of course they had to dodge Paula, but Ashley’s ingenious fix had cured Paula’s early arrivals.

  “In here.” Good thing he’d stopped singing. Shit, what if she’d heard him?

  Mel set his guitar on a stand and headed downstairs. Ashley rounded the corner from the kitchen, her dog trailing behind.

  “You won’t believe what just happened,” she said. Her flushed face looked stunned and even Roamer seemed especially excited.

  “You won the lotto?” he guessed. She played religiously.

  “Not even close.” She paced in front of him, her energy radiating like a force field. “Remember I told you about Joan Armsworth at the Department of Rehabilitation? Paula told me she’d taken a leave of absence and that someone would be calling me to arrange some interviews.” She didn’t wait for him to answer and powered on. “So my phone rang five minutes ago and guess who it was? Joan Armsworth. Who—it turns out—did not take a leave of absence! She called to check in ‘again.’ I mentioned that I hadn’t talked to her at all and she insisted that she spoke with me over two weeks ago! Can you believe it?” Ashley paced furiously in front of him. “So I kept asking her questions… When did you call? What did you say? What was the conversation? I’m thinking I must really be nuts. Then I said, ‘You must have dialed a wrong number’ and she said, ‘No I spoke with you specifically.’ I am not losing my mind. I never spoke with her.” She continued to pace in front of him. “Then I asked her the date specifically. It was the day I fell.”

  That got his attention. “When did you fall? You never told me about that.”

  She waved him off. “It wasn’t major. I walked in the kitchen from the sand room and ran into the stool. God, did I hit the ground hard. It was the ‘step in the shit day.’ The day we walked on the beach, remember? When I told you about the diagnosis of my vision.” Her eyes widened a fraction as if she thought of something, but she powered on. “Anyway, Paula was there.”

  Just the mention of Paula sent a creepy feeling down Mel’s spine. “Okay, so what are you thinking?” He had an idea… “Paula, maybe, answered the phone for you?” If he’d been a lawyer, he’d be accused of leading the witness. He didn’t care.

  “Yes!” Ashley threw both hands in the air. “But then I think, no, she wouldn’t have done that? Would she?” She started pacing again. “I mean would she really sabotage me getting help because she needed a job that desperately?” She stopped in front of him again. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to think.”

  “Are you going to confront her?” he asked.

  “You’re damn fucking right I’m going to confront her,” Ashley snapped. “I can’t wait to hear what she has to say.” God, she’d have made a great lawyer. Her blue eyes flashed with equal parts anger and conviction. He could imagine her arguing a case before a jury and winning them over with her quest for justice.

  Mel wrapped her in his arms before she could move away from him again. “Maybe you should calm down a little before you talk to her,” he suggested.

  Ashley made her famous pucker face, but it was loaded with frustration. “I know, I know. I just have no clue how to do that.”

  “I can probably help.” Mel brushed his lips against hers and Ashley opened for him. Sweet and yielding. She tasted…like Dr Pepper and he smiled. She’d told him she used to drink it like an addiction and that she saved them now for special occasions.

  She pulled back. “As much as I’d like to continue this conversation,” she said taking a last slow kiss, “I have to go back home. Paula should be there in a few minutes and I want to be ready. Besides, y
ou should be gone by now. I thought your limo was supposed to be here already.” She took a few steps back.

  “Yeah, he called, said he hit a traffic jam. He’ll be here soon.”

  “Well, I’m glad. It gave me a chance to say goodbye again.” She ran her hands through her hair. “God, I’m just so pissed. I am going to nail this woman. There is nothing I hate more than a liar. If I had to name one all-time pet peeve it would be that. Do not lie to me.”

  Mel’s intestines knotted.

  “I’m the most understanding person in the world. No one has a reason to lie to me. What’s wrong with honesty? Is it too much to ask for?”

  Words barely formed on his dry tongue. “Maybe some people don’t think their lies will hurt anyone,” he said. “Maybe they’re just trying to protect themselves.”

  “That’s horse shit,” Ashley muttered, then she gave him an incredulous look. “Are you sticking up for her?”

  “No!” Mel shot back. “I’m just saying that you can’t count everyone in the same boat when it comes to lying. Sometimes people have reasons, that’s all.”

  “Yeah, I’m not sure I buy that,” Ashley said at the door. “I have to go.”

  He nodded, then realized she couldn’t see him. “Right.” His insides twisted tighter at his predicament. He’d done the one thing she hated most. Right now, he wanted to be there for her, but what if Paula felt cornered and outed him because of some kind of retribution against Ashley? The longer he hid his identity, the more it was bound to hurt Ash. Before she had a chance to ask him for moral support—which he wouldn’t put past her—he stumbled for an excuse. “I wish I could be there, but the limo should be here any minute.” He checked his watch, relieved that this wasn’t a lie.