Shocking the Medic (Pulse series)

by Otto, Elizabeth

  “He get fired?” He hoped not. He just need a few minutes of Coss’s time to knock him on his ass.

  Will’s eyes darted to the bar. He grinned as he took a drink. “We could go ask him.” He nodded to the left. Coss was pushing his way through the crowd to get to the bar, holding an empty glass way above his head. He barked at the bartender, his voice unsteady and loud.

  Luke’s pulse picked up with a steady rush of adrenaline. He steeled his jaw and tempered some of the sparking anger inside. It didn’t take long, though, before the spark was a full-blown fire. He slid out of the booth.

  “I’ll ask him myself.”

  Will leaned to the side, swiping at Luke’s wrist. “Hey, man, wait.”

  He ignored his friend and made his way to Coss. His middle clenched hard as he approached, years of dislike and irritation coming to a head. He was going to have to work hard to keep himself in check.

  Coss accepted a full glass of beer and turned to take a drink, coming face-to-face with Luke. The older man snorted.

  “Fuck off.”

  “Come on, Coss. That’s no way to start a conversation.”

  “We’ve got nothing to talk about.” He tried to push past, but Luke checked him in the shoulder with his own. He recalled the look on Greer’s face when her mother had called her out with words Coss put in her head. She’d been devastated, and he wasn’t going to stand for it. He might have pushed her away, but he still had her back.

  “What’d you say to Greer’s mother about the pediatric call?”

  Coss’s eyebrows came together for a second before a slack grin pulled his lips. He reeked of alcohol, as if he’d been here a while. There was a slight sway to his stance and a glaze to his eyes. Coss was already a mean fucker. Luke had no idea what the man was like drunk. He was about to find out, probably.

  “The truth. Something wrong with that?” He took a drink and looked away with a dismissive gesture.

  “You weren’t on that call, so you couldn’t know firsthand what happened out there. You had no business telling anyone anything.”

  Coss could have said anything to Marvelene, just made shit up just to stir the pot. The older medic downed his beer and tossed the glass onto the floor. It bounced and rolled under a table.

  “Maybe I told her mama what a nice piece of ass her daughter is. How about that? She’s a mediocre medic, but fuck, that girl’s got an ass I’d like to—”

  He grabbed Coss by the shoulders and drove him back to the bar. People scattered. They locked arms, but Luke broke free and wedged his forearm against Coss’s throat.

  “All I need is a reason, old man. Keep talking about her. Go ahead. Keep talking.”

  “Trouble in paradise?” Coss spit out as he pushed against the hold. “I’m happy to stop by and be her rebound.”

  The fire inside Luke blazed. His vision blurred as he pulled Coss forward and tossed him to the side. Coss crashed into two barstools, toppling them over, his body following suit. He caught himself on one hand before he hit the ground, and with more grace than a drunk man should have, jumped upright, grabbing for his opponent’s head, but Luke diverted, looping his arm around Coss’s neck. They were wedged side-to-side, Coss hunched from the hold around his upper body.

  “Your sorry ass got fired, huh? How’s it feel to lose everything, old man?”

  A slow smile broke Coss’s rugged face. “I don’t know. How does it feel?”

  Fuck! Luke raged inside, his muscles quivering from the need to smash this guy in the head and keep going. Why not? He was already a blue-collar underling in Greer’s mother’s eyes. A good fight was just glitter on the image, right? He wasn’t the man Marvelene wanted for her daughter, so why not take it even farther south and be the absolute loser they thought he was.

  “Hey,” Will said. “That’s enough. Come on.”

  Coss pushed off, hard. He heaved erratic breaths and wiped the back of his hand over his forehead before digging a wad of bills from his pocket, pulled a ten out of it and tossed it on the bar. With a sneer, he turned on unsteady legs and left. The bartender watched him leave, then picked up the phone. He pointed at Luke and indicated he should pick up the toppled barstools.

  Will helped and then followed him out into the balmy night.

  “You okay?”

  Luke huffed and looked up at the stars. They twinkled despite the glow of the city lights, not really in competition but in complement.

  “Never better. See you at work tomorrow.”

  Will clapped Luke on the back and headed for his car, leaving him to take long breaths of warm air and watch the sky.

  How did it feel to lose everything? If everything meant Greer, and it did, well, it sucked ass. It hurt. It was devastating. And it was his own fault.

  She was right. He’d spent more time pushing her to do what he thought she should than he had listening to what she wanted. Yep, the promotion would have provided more money. Money that would allow him to give her a good life. But it wasn’t enough to elevate her to the life she’d grown up with.

  Even if he’d gotten that job, the money wouldn’t have been enough to satisfy Marvelene Worth or change her perception of him. He still would have been lacking in her eyes. Greer had never once made him feel that way. Instead, she’d given her body and her affection to him freely, with more passion and grace than he deserved.

  He’d never even bothered to ask her about the life she wanted for herself.

  Not once had he considered what she might want.

  The guilt returned with boxing gloves on.

  Pulling out his cell phone, Luke dialed Greer. His heart flipped into his throat as it rang. And rang. He clicked off before her voicemail could pick up. Why leave a message when he didn’t know what to say?

  I’m sorry I hurt you? I’m sorry I’m a dumbass who doesn’t know how to love you properly?

  I love you.

  I’ve always loved you.

  He slipped the phone back into his pocket. Tomorrow started a new phase in his life. It was best to sweep the old out the door and get on with it.

  Except…he didn’t want to. He pulled out his phone again and opened his messages. Then he started typing.

  He didn’t want a new phase without her. He didn’t want anything without her.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The hand Greer held was covered with wrinkled skin and age spots.

  The elderly man sitting next to her on the ambulance bench seat was even more wrinkled, more aged. He was ten years older than his wife, Beth. He’d robbed the cradle and married her sixty-five years ago. She swatted him with a wooden spoon when she got angry at him. But it was okay. She made a mean peach pie and knew he liked his socks starched.

  It was true love, he said. And he didn’t want Beth to die without him by her side.

  She sat quietly, feeling equally hidden and in the way. There wasn’t anything she could do for Beth as terminal cancer took its final toll. Her patient had orders for no CPR, no resuscitative efforts. She made her as comfortable as possible and sat quietly holding one hand while her husband held the other. He spoke to his wife in low, comforting tones, quietly reliving a story of going ice skating in Central Park on their thirtieth anniversary.

  Beth didn’t open her eyes, but her mouth twitched now and then, and her fingers curled lightly. Even in this fading state, she was responding to the sound of her husband’s voice. The almost peaceful expression on the woman’s face made Greer believe she was comforted by it.

  The way it should be.

  It was touching, this display of pure love and devotion. But it ripped her up inside a bit, too. Even though Luke had left her several generic messages over the past week, she hadn’t called him back. She just didn’t have it in her to face his rejection again. After all these years of hoping, and loving, and wanting, and then finally getting him in her arms…only to have him send her on her way.

  It was devastating. And she wasn’t going to do it again. She deserved this, what Bet
h and her husband had. ’Til death do us part, literally, and all the romantic clichés that went along with it. She’d held out for Luke so damn long that Greer didn’t know if she’d ever find herself ready for love in any form, even if she might want it.

  “I’m going to make some notes,” she said quietly to the man beside her. He nodded. She let Beth’s hand go and moved to the captain’s seat where her clipboard lay.

  She’d walked into work Monday morning to find Luke had taken the opening on the transfer crew across town, effective immediately. And Coss had been fired for unbecoming behavior, though she didn’t have all the details. Something about him getting pulled over for a DUI after leaving Score on Sunday night. She was glad he was gone, and her new partner, a transfer from night shift, was a nice, placid older woman who seemed genetically unable to cause any drama.

  Luke’s sudden departure weighed heavily on her. Yet another sign that he wanted her to move on with her life. As if it were that easy.

  She finished with Beth at the hospital, then completed her shift and went home. Her mother’s car was parked out front. Doing a double take, Greer cautiously got out of her vehicle. Her mother never visited. It hadn’t quite been a week since the birthday party, but she had put it behind her. She’d made a call to Luke’s mother to apologize, but beyond that, didn’t want to relive any of it.

  Marvelene got out and clipped on high heels up to the sidewalk as Greer approached her front door.

  “Mother,” she greeted her flatly, digging out her keys. “What brings you by?”

  She was impeccably dressed, as always. Her suit, nylons, and heels seemed excessive in the heat of the day. Greer figured she’d fall over in shock if she ever saw her mom in shorts and flip-flops.

  “May I come in? I’d like to speak to you.”

  She shrugged and opened the door. The inside was a chaotic mess, but for once, she didn’t care if her mother saw. She was cleaning and purging, boxing up things she didn’t need or use, rearranging furniture and getting ready to paint the walls. Changing up her space was cathartic, and she needed that right now.

  “Oh my,” her mother whispered as she squeezed by boxes in the entry.

  Greer tossed her keys onto the side table and untucked her uniform shirt. “If you’re here to apologize for being horrible, it’s not me who needs to hear it. Call Luke’s mom. She deserves your apology more than anyone.”

  Marvelene let out a deep breath. It was a sound of resignation she had never heard from her mother before.

  “I…already spoke to her. I understand that my behavior was out of line. I figured if I could just show you what you’re up against, that you’d come to your senses.”

  Oh fuck this. She unbuttoned her shirt as she walked into her bedroom. She changed with the door open, out of her mother’s line of sight.

  “But I realize now, that it was an awful way to go about it and I’m… I’m sorry.”

  Her mother had never apologized for anything. Not once. She had no memory of those words coming out of her mother’s painted lips, nor did her brain quite know how to comprehend it. She peeked her head out of the door.

  “You’re sorry?”

  She must have shown too much bra, because her mother turned away. “Yes. I am. I also understand that Lucas may have taken it out on you.”

  Chills went down her spine. She whipped a T-shirt over her head and came back out. “What do you mean?”

  Her mother waved a hand absently and looked at a box by her feet. “His mother mentioned that, well, he’s been interested in you romantically for a while. But he changed his mind after my outburst, apparently.”

  Tears hit her eyes. She couldn’t forget the feel of his hands on her body, or the steady rhythm of his heart beneath her hand while they slept. She couldn’t forget the ease with which they breezed through their days together, or the way he made her laugh.

  “He said he’s not good enough for me. I wonder where he got that idea?” She sank down onto her couch and eyed her mother steadily. For once, her mom didn’t wear that permanently smug expression. Resting bitch face, as internet memes liked to call it. Her features expressed “what was that” dismay.

  “Mom, I don’t want to be like you. I don’t want a cardboard life where my value depends on how much money I make, or the car I drive, or the vacations I take. I want life on my own terms, whatever that ends up being. And that’s it.”

  Marvelene gave a tight grin and began riffling through the large box next to her. Greer could tell she was trying to school her composure. She didn’t expect a response, and it looked like she wasn’t going to get one. Eventually her mother pulled a canvas from the box. Greer had the urge to rip it out of her hands, but what did it matter? She was throwing it out—throwing all of them out—anyway.

  “This is quite good.” Marvelene put a hand to her chest and cocked her head. “This is very good. What are these?”

  She pulled the remaining two from the box, set them against the wall, and studied those, too. Greer looked at the lines she’d sketched and painted, the blocks and whimsical washes of color she’d used to bring the images to life. They were only test paintings that she’d created from scribbles on a napkin.

  “You’re throwing these away?”

  She couldn’t answer. Being upset with Luke had made her look at the paintings in an unfavorable light. He’d sparked the idea for them anyway, and she didn’t need the reminder.

  “Take them if you like them so much.”

  Marvelene’s back went straight, her no-nonsense face back on. She spun on a heel to face her daughter.

  “Darling, what do you want to do with your life? Do you want to be a paramedic?”

  There it was, the question she’d longed for her mom to ask. The interest she’d longed for her to show. Now that the question was broached, she didn’t have an answer. She didn’t know.

  “Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no. I’m going to take a little more time to figure it out.”

  Her mom gathered up the paintings, the large canvases fitting awkwardly in her grip.

  “Do you love Lucas?”

  Well, that was a blindsiding question. Greer stood and ran a palm over her hair. “It doesn’t matter how I feel. He told me to move on, so I am.”

  She crossed the room to help her mom with the paintings. Marvelene stepped out of the way and headed to the door. Greer opened it for her as she headed to the porch.

  “Have a good evening, darling. I do love you.”

  With that, she clomped down the steps in her too-high shoes, gripping the paintings awkwardly with all her might. Greer watched down the street long after her mother drove away. In what universe did her mother apologize and take an interest in her life outside of approved things, like law school? She felt as if she’d been plowed over by an unexpected storm.

  Just then, her phone beeped. A new voicemail popped up. Funny, she hadn’t heard it ring. Her middle tightened. It was probably Luke again, leaving another “call me” bid. She’d ignore it, like she had the others. It was just easier this way.

  Curious, though, she went inside and played the message. Before she had a chance to really listen, though, another buzz came through.

  Can I stop by tonight?

  She started at the words, absorbing them but not really seeing them. He’d stop by, and they’d end up in bed. She’d fall even more, give more of her heart and her love, and he’d walk away again. She’d put too much of herself into her love of him to let this continue.

  No, she typed back.

  Then turned off her phone.

  Chapter Twenty

  Open your door.

  Luke groaned and rubbed his eyes, reading the text message through the blur of sleep. He’d been on transfers well into the night, and the two hours of sleep he’d gotten left a heavy weight in his head.

  Open your door, Lucas.

  Lucas? No one called him that except…

  “Oh fuck.”

  He slid out of bed and padded
through the house in his underwear. Daylight streamed in from the windows, slicing through his head and blinding him. God, he hated being this groggy and tired, especially when nothing fun had caused it. Cautiously, he peeked through the peephole, fully expecting to see a perfectly made-up face on the other side.

  Marvelene.

  Ugh.

  No one was there. Fine. He yanked the door open. If she didn’t have the curtesy to stand in front of the security peep, then she deserved to see him in his briefs.

  A large box sat in front of his door, a note taped to it. He leaned out and ripped it off.

  The only thing Greer and I have in common is a law degree. She’s happy with simpler things. Go get my daughter, Lucas. Don’t screw it up. —Marvelene

  He read it again, just to be sure he wasn’t still in some sleep-doped haze. No, the perfect script was definitely hers, and the words said what he thought they did. He tossed the note onto the floor behind him and grabbed the top of the box. He pulled it inside, curious what was flopping back and forth inside it. Shutting the door, he opened the box in the shadowy light of his hallway. He pulled out a rectangular canvas framed in dark oak, the design soft in the shady light. Curious, he flicked on the hall light and sucked in a breath.

  It was him. Sort of. Muted colors and sketch lines created his form, hunched over as he sat on the back bumper of an ambulance. His face was in his hands, his expression somber as a tear glistened from one eye. Before him in ghostly impression, a woman held a baby in her arms. The mother and child were wistfully created, so light that they appeared translucent.

  The rest of the painting was done in bold strokes of subdued gray and blue and black. But behind him, with a shimmer and glow he couldn’t explain, a pair of angel wings unfolded and spread across the gloom.

  Setting the painting aside, he grappled for the next. A female medic with intricately created silver wings knelt beside a mangled car. The third painting showed two medics, their wings hanging as if in defeat, next to the hospital bed of a ghostly, elderly woman. Each was signed and dated in Greer’s flowing cursive.