Stupid Hearts

by Kristen Hope Mazzola

  “What in the hell was that?” I tried to shove out of his arms with no success.

  I could feel him chuckle softly, pressing me harder into his smooth bare skin, which smelled like my coconut body wash. “I’m not ashamed of the fact that I think you’re incredibly sexy and that your cousin witnessed my quasi-walk-of-shame.”

  I growled. It was the only sound that I could make without yelling and I could hear Kathy and Brett talking in the other room. There was no way I wanted to call attention to my tantrum.

  “What is your plan for being locked in here with your sister out there? Not to mention your ex is about to walk through that door, too.”

  He let me go and with me went my towel. He knelt down, kissed my bare stomach softly, and slowly looked back up to me. “I don’t really give a flying fuck.”

  Kissing all the way back up my body, he sent chills down my spine while running gentle fingers over my hips and up my sides. His lips landed on mine like a butterfly on a daisy in summer, effortlessly brushing over them while whispering, “Just let it go, love. It’s going to be alright.”

  I stood frozen in place, naked, staring into his eyes. Those beautifully gorgeous, stunning honey eyes.

  A knock broke through my daze. “Hey are you almost done straightening up, Joey?” Brett’s voice was muffled through the door.

  “Just a second.”

  I ran around my room, throwing the covers back onto the bed, putting my hair into a bun, motioning to Finn to get his freaking clothes on, and finally grabbing faded skinny jeans and a loose fitting black yoga tank. No time for pleasantries like a bra, makeup, or doing my hair—they’d just have to deal with it. I hated that I wasn’t wearing makeup but there was nothing I could do about it at that point and, quite frankly, that was the least of my worries. Finn looked incredible in a fitted white crew neck and dark washed jeans, the slightest hint of stubble lining his jaw from not shaving that morning.

  He squeezed my hand gently. “I promise to be on my best behavior.”

  With a sigh of relief mixed with nerves, I gripped the handle. “Here goes nothing.”

  I opened the door to find Brett and Kathy on the couch sipping freshly made hazelnut coffee out of my favorite mugs, Dozer happily squeezed in between them.

  “Finn, you’re here already. I was just about to text you.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “Er, I went for an early run. Joey was nice enough to let me clean up here so I didn’t have to go all the way back to my place.”

  “Oh, how sweet.” Her kind eyes landed on me while I nervously grabbed our Starbucks cups off the floor next to my front door and set them on my kitchen counter. I noticed how much less of an accent Kathy had than Finn, more subtle hints of a brogue laced in her words where his speech was soaked in it.

  “It was nothing, really. Is the other model on her way?” Right then a light tap landed on the front door as it opened and revealed one of the most stunning women I had ever laid eyes on. Her golden hair bounced with big barrel curls, her lips were a perfect red hue with a slight shine of lip gloss, and her eyes were a brightly piercing ice blue. There was not one blemish or freckle on her high, tanned cheek bones, she was tall and slender, and her curves looked perfectly proportioned under her navy maxi dress.

  “Sorry I’m a tad late.” Her voice was sweet, singsongy.

  Damn it all to freaking hell—she’s stunning. How can I compete with that?

  The ugly bite of jealously got the better of me while I stared at her sashaying into my living room. Yeah, I didn’t truly understand what sashaying was until Kiera waggled her hips perfectly to move her wedge-heeled, pedicured feet, bouncy boobs, and perfectly sculpted ass into my apartment.

  “That’s quite alright, we just finished getting Joey’s room straightened up.” I felt Finn’s body close behind mine as his strong hand landed onto my shoulder and squeezed gently.

  Kiera’s eyebrow rose as she extended her hand to me. “Joey? Like Dawson’s Creek?”

  I feigned a giggle. “My name is really Jolene.” If I had a dime for every person that had mentioned that reference to me over the years, I’d be freaking rich.

  Her lips pursed together. “Nice to meet you, I’m Kiera.”

  I slid my hand into hers and felt all eyes on me. It was one of the most uncomfortable moments ever. “It’s my pleasure.” I swallowed hard.

  This is going to be one hell of a shoot.

  You’re a professional—act like it.

  “Shall we get started?” Kathy rose from my couch, setting her mug down on the coffee table.

  “Sure.” I bit my lower lip and motioned back toward my bedroom. “Come on in.”

  With everyone—including the panting Dozer—on my heels, I made my way into the bedroom. It was nothing special by any means, but for a Manhattan apartment, my bedroom was quite large. My off-white, king size, four-poster bed was smack dab in the middle of the dark hardwood floor with a soft lilac on the walls. Black and white landscapes that I’d taken in college hung with a giant mirror over the matching oversized dresser. Simple, very chic, not really me, but it worked. The bright pink and black paisley comforter did scream “Joey” and so did the matching area rug that was tucked under my bed.

  Once everyone was in and the lights were set up perfectly, I took a long slow breath in, exhaling through my nose with my back to the crowd. “All set. Kathy, I put white sheets on the bed, would you like me to take off the comforter?”

  She glanced over the bed slowly. “I love the pop of color. Let’s try some with the comforter on.”

  I nodded. “Sounds good. Finn, Kiera, let’s start with you guys about to kiss standing next to the bed.”

  Finn glanced at me, a killer smirk planted on his lips. “Shirt on or off, love?”

  I gulped as his perfect abs crossed my mind. “On for now. Just so I can get a feel for what I’m working with.”

  And to help me gain my composure so I can concentrate on something other than how badly I want to feel that barbell that’s hiding in your pants.

  My cheeks flared as I shot Kiera raking her gorgeous fake nails down Finn’s chest and back. They kissed each other’s necks, cuddled, embraced. When Kiera started to pull Finn’s shirt up over his head, jealousy hit hard in my stomach, but I fought through the terrible urge to tackle him onto the bed and mark my territory.

  He’s not yours to claim.

  Sigh. He was stunning, laying back on my bed as Kiera climbed on top of him, my flash lighting up his perfectly toned muscles, his honey eyes, his enchanting smile.

  “Cous?” Brett was getting up from the arm chair in the corner of my room. I had started to forget that he and Kathy were in the room watching me drool over Finn. Luckily, Kiera was was captivated too and therefore oblivious to my stares and glares.

  He’s her ex.

  He’s her ex.

  She is an ex.

  She’s not standing in your way.

  “Yeah?”

  Brett cleared his throat. “Don’t you have some props they can use?”

  Ugh. Yes. Damn it. That was the last thing I wanted to see: Finn using my belt, rope, and scarves on another woman.

  “Oh that could be fun.” The excitement in Kiera’s voice was way over the top.

  “I do. Kathy?”

  “Let’s give it a try. With the comforter off, maybe?”

  One sharp breath in.

  This is going to be interesting.

  I dove under my bed to grab my box of erotic toys. It wasn’t too embarrassing, it’s what I was into, I just wasn’t thrilled with the fact that this was how Finn was going to find out about my kinky side.

  Getting the cuffs, belt, and rope out as fast as I could, I slammed the lid shut before anyone saw my vibrator, cock rings, box of condoms, or the anal beads. Holding it all up, I looked over at Finn, letting lust drip into my southern drawl. “Pick your poison, Sir Wallace.”

  He bit his lower lip and his eyes lit up—exactly the reaction I was h
oping for.

  What the hell just got into me?

  Professional. Keep this professional.

  “Belt.” The simple word whipped through the air and all I wanted was to be in Kiera’s place.

  I handed my thick brown leather belt over to Finn, our eyes locked on each other. My heart was racing. My breath was heavy. I wanted—no, I needed Finn to use that belt on me.

  “What do you want me to do with it?” Finn’s eyes never left mine.

  “Put it around her neck?”

  I glanced to Kathy and she shrugged. “That might be hot. I could add a scene with it into the book.”

  “I think I am going to need a copy of that.” I tossed a smirk over my shoulder to Kathy with a wink.

  An excited smile spread wide. “I’m sure that could be arranged.”

  Finn got onto his knees and pushed Kiera softly onto the bed so he was behind her. Wrapping the belt around her neck, he glanced up at his sister. “Good?”

  Kathy nodded. “I think we found a winner.”

  “Yeah?”

  Thank God this is almost over.

  “I don’t know how to even begin to express how much I love this,” Kathy gushed as she looked through the pictures on my camera.

  “I’m glad. I guess that’s a wrap then?”

  Kathy beamed as she glanced up from the digital screen. “Yes, Joey. That’s a wrap.”

  I put the belt and other things back into my box and slid them safely back under my bed. “I can have the images to you by the end of the week, edited and everything.”

  “Brilliant!”

  Kiera straightened out her dress as she shoved up from my bed. “This was a lot of fun.”

  Finn didn’t even acknowledge her. He put his hand on my shoulder and locked eyes with me as he asked, “Got a sec?”

  I glanced around the room before muttering, “Sure.”

  We walked into the living room. “Have dinner with me tonight.”

  Yes! Say yes!

  “Is that really a good idea?”

  Why? Why do you always do this, Jolene? Stop playing hard to get!

  “Yes, beautiful. I think it is a fantastic idea.”

  “Alright.” I exhaled slowly. It was relieving that even after that intimate shoot, Finn wanted to be around me and didn’t want to try to rekindle the flame that was sparking in Keira’s lustful glances, caresses, and tone.

  “I’m out of here, call me later?” Speak of the devil, Kiera’s hand was on Finn’s shoulder. It wasn’t until then that I realized how close Finn and I were standing, not even an inch away from each other.

  He took a step back and looked at her. “Now why would I do that?”

  Her face quickly contorted into a pissed off mess. “What?”

  “You heard me, Kiera. Don’t forget who dumped who and where the door is.”

  Ouch. Apparently, Finn was not one for second chances. Good to know. She turned on her heels and stomped out of my apartment in a huff.

  Kathy and Brett joined us in the living room.

  “This was incredible. I loved watching you work, Joey.” Brett’s smile was contagious as he stroked my ego a little.

  “Thanks!”

  “You really have talent, young lady.” Kathy grabbed her bag off the couch, looking up at Finn. “Want to grab a bite to eat with your sister?”

  Shoving his running clothes into the bottom of his hanging bag, Finn twisted around to look at her. “Yeah, alright.”

  “Thank you again, Joey.” Kathy was halfway out the door already.

  “Don’t mention it! I’d love to do it again sometime.”

  With Finn, not Kiera.

  “See you later, beautiful.” Finn kissed my cheek and followed his sister out the door.

  “See you later?” Brett had his hands crossed over his chest, his hip popped out.

  “We’re having dinner tonight.”

  “A date? That’s not like you.”

  I shrugged. “Yeah, but he’s different.”

  Brett laughed. “You mean he’s incredibly sexy.”

  I plopped down on the couch and started to rub Dozer’s white belly. “There’s that, and there’s just something about him. He really is different.”

  “Whatever you say, cous. I’m glad you’re moving on from that two-timing asshole. He wasted a year of your life.”

  “Thanks? I’m going to pretend that wasn’t a slap in the face.”

  He slouched down next to me and flicked on the television. “It was said with love.”

  “I guess that’s all that matters.”

  Chapter 7.

  I must have dozed off for a bit because I woke up to Dozer’s wet nose nudging my arm insistently. I groggily rubbed my eyes, threw off the thin blanket that I usually cuddled with while I watched Teen Mom 2—my guilty pleasure—and patted Dozer’s egg-shaped head. The sun was setting over Central Park and the view from the sliding glass doors to my balcony was breathtaking.

  Shit!

  I checked the clock on the wall: it was almost seven. I heard a knock on my door.

  “Who is it?” I was too short to see out the peephole of my door. Dozer planted himself at my side, grunting and wagging his tail while he waited patiently for me to let our guest in.

  “Finn, love.”

  Swoon.

  My palms were instantly sweating as a giddy smile raced across my face and butterflies crashed around in my stomach.

  I turned the lock and opened the door, completely ashamed at my lack of preparation for our date. Finn was wearing dark jeans, an untucked light green button down, and a sport coat—a perfect look for him. He had shaved his face clean of stubble and a fresh sweet musk of cologne filled the air.

  “Now I feel underdressed. Come in.”

  He put his hand on my hip, brushed a kiss against my cheek, and slid inside the door. “You’re stunning just the way you are.”

  Where did this guy come from?

  “Want a glass of wine while I freshen up? I dozed off on the couch for way too long.”

  Usually in situations like this, I would be panicking, scrambling around my apartment to get ready, and rushing out the door. But Finn didn’t make me feel nervous or late. Instead, his calmness emanated throughout the room.

  “That’d be lovely.” He followed me into the kitchen.

  “White or red?”

  “What are you drinking?” He pressed his chest lightly against my back as I reached for a wine glass off a high shelf in my tiny kitchen. His hands gripped my hips, his lips contacting the base of my neck as he took a deep breath in, stopping me dead in my tracks.

  It took me a second to register that I still needed to answer his question. “White, I guess. For now.”

  I turned in his arms, his eyes piercing mine. “Then white it is.”

  I grabbed the half empty bottle from the fridge, poured our glasses, and leaned on the counter. I took a long sip of my favorite pinot grigio. The sweet, crisp apple lemon took over my entire mouth as I savored the quick moment.

  “So, what’s the plan for tonight?”

  Finn’s lips curled up at the corners. “Don’t have a plan, really.” He leaned up against the counter, pulling me by the hand into him.

  “You asked me on a date with nowhere in mind?”

  “Now what’s the fun in that?” His lips brushed my ear, his breath warm on my neck and shoulder. “What do you feel like?”

  I had no idea. I was expecting him to take me to his favorite restaurant where we’d sit in a poorly lit corner booth in the back, sipping on wine and losing track of time while we chatted about nonsense, lost in each other’s company.

  What romance movie dreamland am I living in?

  “I’m up for anything.”

  His muscled flexed against me as he pulled me just a little bit closer. Finn’s breath caught as he planted small kisses down my neck to my collarbone. His fingertips dug into my hips. Goosebumps spread over my arms and my nipples stood at attention under the thi
n fabric of my yoga top. Trailing up under my shirt, Finn’s gentle touch landed on my bare breast.

  A low growl came from the back of his throat. “I love that you’re not wearing a bra.”

  “I haven’t had one on all day,” I blurted out. Smooth. Real smooth.

  “I noticed.” His voice was husky.

  Our lips connected, but only for a second. Finn pulled away slowly. “Go get freshened up. Wear something comfortable. I have an idea of where we should go.”

  I made quick work of doing a simple smoky eye, taming my long hair, and putting on a pair of black skinny jeans, a bra, a light teal blouse, and my ostrich boots. After grabbing a blazer and dabbing on a touch of Victoria’s Secret perfume, I reentered the living room.

  “Ready?”

  Finn was on the couch, feet up on my coffee table, Dozer rooted to his side with his head in Finn’s lap.

  “Yeah.” He downed the last of the wine in his glass. “You look wonderful.”

  I grabbed my keys. “See you later, buddy.” I kissed Dozer on the head and we made our way down to the lobby. After grabbing a cab and heading to the Upper East Side, we made our way down the block to a restaurant that I had never even heard of before.

  “Where are you taking me?”

  Finn grabbed for the door handle, holding it open for me. “You’ll love it here.”

  We walked into the narrow bar where most of the high top tables and bar seats were already filled. Live music was emanating from the back of the restaurant, some kind of Irish folk music. An older bartender waved to Finn and pointed to a table right next to the bar that was being cleaned off by a busser.

  “Come here often?”

  Finn led me to the table by my hand and helped me into the high seat. “Actually, this was the first place I worked when I came to the States.”

  The bartender made his way over to our table. “Finn, it’s good to see you.”

  “Hi, Johnny, this is Joey.”

  Johnny took my hand and kissed the back of it swiftly. “It’s a pleasure, Joey. What are ye havin’?”

  He handed me a menu, which listed all of the bottled and draft beers they offered and had a logo at the top that said “Doc Watson’s”. “Oh, I’ll take a Magner’s please.”