A Cross to Bear

by Julieanne Lynch

  Bree closed her eyes, the pinnacle of her climax moments away. She moaned and ran her hands over her breasts, cupping them and tweaking her nipples as the sensations racking her body strengthened.

  “Oh, God! I’m…” she cried. “I’m coming!”

  Ethan’s tongue moved harder and faster against her. The more Bree bucked under his touch, the more the climax consumed her. Bree was so lost under the throes of her desire that she didn’t notice Ethan ease himself onto the edge of the bed. Without giving Bree much time to compose herself, he thrust himself inside her.

  Ethan smiled as he fucked her hard.

  Bree moaned.

  He slammed himself deep into her. Ethan lifted her legs, holding on to her ankles, and stared down at her. He grunted.

  Bree focused on his face. He gritted his teeth and the way his rhythm changed was a sign that he was close to achieving his orgasm.

  “Fuck!” he said.

  As soon as the words left his mouth, his cum shot into her. He moaned and continued to thrust himself inside her. Bree loved the way he made her feel as he slowly moved in and out of her.

  Bree smiled and giggled, watching Ethan come down from his elation.

  “What’s so funny?” he asked in a raspy tone.

  “Nothing,” she replied, her cheeks flushed.

  “Liar, but whatever.” He rolled off her. “I’m going to shower—again! Wanna join me?”

  Bree smiled and nodded. “Go on in. I’ll clean this up first.”

  Ethan kissed her one last time before he disappeared into the bathroom. The noise of the water trickled against the shower cubicle.

  Bree reached out to grab her underwear, setting the garment on the bed. As she stepped toward the bathroom, Ethan’s phone buzzed. Turning her head, she saw the light flash a few times. Curiosity got the better of her.

  She bit down on her lip, knowing better than to go snooping. Yet something inside her spurred her on and the temptation became too much. She slid her finger across the screen, since Ethan didn’t have a password set. It was meant to be a trust thing—no password, no secrets. Bree scanned the name of the texter—Erica. She raised an eyebrow and sat down on the bed.

  Bree opened the message. The first thing she saw was the image of a vagina with the caption Come and get it. She couldn’t make sense of what she saw. Before she could stop herself, she scrolled through more messages. Each was as bad as the first. All of the names were familiar to her, and all of the texts were recent.

  Dread filled her. Before she could control herself, she ran to the bathroom, holding the phone in her hand.

  “What the hell are these?” she shouted.

  Ethan turned off the water, glaring at Bree. “What? You went through my phone?”

  “Don’t dare turn this around on me!” Bree cried, scrolling through the images, holding the phone out for Ethan to see. “What’s going on?”

  “Oh, Bree, honey.” Ethan reached out to touch her face. “Don’t be naïve. Your pussy may be sweet, but this is college. I’m hardly going to turn down a good time just because we’re fuck buddies.”

  Bree’s heart shattered. She dropped the phone, grabbed her clothes and got dressed, trying to hide the tears that were now streaming down her cheeks.

  Ethan followed her into his bedroom. His smile was full of the usual smugness she now despised.

  “C’mon, Bree.”

  “Fuck buddies, huh?” she muttered. “I thought you loved me.”

  “Of course I love you, but I’m a guy and I have needs.” The sly smile broadened across his face.

  “Are you for real?”

  “They’re a few pictures, so what?” He smirked.

  “They are more than just pictures, Ethan. They’re of girls, other girls you’re screwing.” The more she said the words, the more the hurt settled inside her.

  Ethan wrapped the towel around his waist and tried to stop Bree from stepping past him. “You have to stop being irrational.”

  Bree tugged her arm free of his grasp and stormed past him. Her head began to pound. “Fuck you!” Bree shouted. “Fuck you!” She grabbed her bag and tossed her books inside. Once done, she made her way toward the door, wrapping her fingers around the handle.

  “Now you’re being ridiculous,” Ethan said, scowling at her. “Sit down, let’s discuss this.”

  “Nope. Consider this you being dumped!” She yanked the door open and stepped into the hallway, slamming it behind her. Bree ran down the stairs and out of the front door. Never once did she stop running until she was back in her house. She broke down in the darkness of her room. Ethan had succeeded in breaking her and making her feel like a used whore.

  * * * *

  Ethan hadn’t changed. He was still the arrogant fiend she had convinced herself she’d fallen in love with. Only now, she saw him for everything he was. She didn’t trust him and knew Logan was making a huge mistake in considering Tommy’s proposal.

  “Leave me alone, Ethan, or I’ll report you for harassment,” she warned.

  “Seriously?” His eyes blazed with anger. “After everything I’ve done for you?”

  “The only thing you ever did for me was awaken me so I could see you for the asshole you really are,” she replied. “I wish I’d seen it sooner. It would have saved me a whole lot of tears. But I guess this is just another lesson, and you… You’re a reminder of all the bad choices I’ve made. Go screw with someone else’s mind!”

  Bree turned her back on him and continued her journey to class. She didn’t look back, though she was aware he was watching her. In the back of her mind, the niggling suspicion that something bad was going to happen kept on presenting itself. No amount of ignoring this one would make the problem go away. Somehow, she would have to handle this head on.

  Chapter Nine

  By Saturday night, I was so thankful that my first week of classes was well and truly over. I stared at my schedule and prayed for a miracle. I would get through it, like I always did, but that didn’t stop the mild panic.

  Guilt overcame me. My mother had phoned me a few times, but I’d missed each call.

  I’d been training hard and spending an hour in the library each day, trying to give myself a head start on my first essay. Giving up, I took to my room, sat at my desk and started writing an essay plan.

  “Hey, are you doing anything tonight?” Spence asked, invading my personal space for the tenth time in less than an hour.

  “Dude,” I said, sighing and glancing at him. “Let me work, please!”

  Spence looked insulted. “Seriously?” he asked. “So, you and your hottie aren’t hooking up tonight?”

  “Nope, Bree and I aren’t hooking up.” I tried not to sound like a dick. “What about Drake? Have you touched base with him?”

  “Drake said he would text me after he napped.” He rolled his eyes. “What’s with you swimmers and the need to sleep?”

  “Train like us, then tell me,” I replied, earning myself a sour look.

  “Are you mad? I’d rather do a year in my father’s office with no pay. I value my sanity.”

  “And there was me thinking you had no balls,” I joked.

  “Less of the balls, young Einstein.”

  Spence was an interesting guy to get to know. After the awkwardness of our first introductions, I was glad he was my roomie and not some douche who had too much to say. Drake and I were ashamed of not mentioning the pledging to Gamma Alpha Pi to Spence, however. I wanted to come clean, but couldn’t.

  “All this study and no play is going to make your stud status dwindle pretty fast,” Spence said, smirking at me.

  “Possibly,” I agreed, “but I shall sleep better knowing I got an A and still made practice without pissing it all up against a wall.”

  “Ouch. Touché, my friend, touché.” Spence’s smile broadened.

  “But seriously, let me get this done. I’m sure Drake would be more than happy to go hunting with you.”

  “Whoa, are you implyi
ng that I am on the prowl?” Spence’s mouth curved into a smile.

  “We both know you’re mad for a little action, so you have my blessing. Go get laid and let me work in peace.”

  Spence burst into boisterous laughter. He grabbed a shirt from his closet, applied a new layer of cologne and bowed before leaving the room. “Have fun!”

  “You too!” I shouted after him before the door closed.

  I sat there in the quietness of my room for several minutes before embarking on my plan to get an A and nothing less. To me, grades were everything, especially now that I’d moved on to a level where I had so much more to prove.

  The incessant drive inside me pushed me hard, even on days when I wanted to quit, lie down, and let life screw me over. My mother and grandfather refused to allow me to become another washed-up dreamer who never amounted to anything. The hard work, the aches, the strains, the lack of sleep—they all meant something. One day it would all pay off.

  Being lost in thought always proved a safe haven for me, to the point I almost didn’t hear my phone ring. I looked down and saw the words Unknown Caller flash across my screen. For split second, I considered canceling the call. Not one to resist, I answered.

  “Hello.”

  “Logan,” the voice said.

  “Yes.” A wave of unease swept over me. I shuffled in my seat.

  “It’s me, your father.”

  In an instant, all of my composure drained from me. I sank into my bubble, the air hard to suck in. My heart pounded and the only thing I could think about was how he got my number.

  “Who gave you this number?”

  “Your mother.”

  “What do you want?” I snapped. This wasn’t my usual way of responding, but he’d caught me off guard. I didn’t like surprises. Especially not the ones that came from one’s own father.

  “I shall be in town next week. I would like to take you out to dinner, if that’s okay?”

  “I’m kinda busy most days,” I said in a cold tone.

  “I’m aware of that, Logan.” His voice was just as emotionless as mine. “But I’m sure we can compromise.”

  For a moment, I wanted to tell him to go to hell, to forget about building bridges or whatever scheme he planned. Then, I thought of my mother. Being a jerk wasn’t going to do her any favors. “I can do Wednesday after evening practice.”

  “I can have a car pick you up on campus,” he suggested.

  “No, I can walk.”

  “Are you sure? I’d much prefer to have you picked up.”

  Anger swirled inside me. It took all of my willpower to keep myself from saying something I’d regret. “Sure, if it makes you happy.”

  “Very well, what time suits you?”

  “Eight-thirty,” I said, clenching my jaw tight.

  “See you then.” He ended the call before I could.

  For the best part of ten minutes, I couldn’t do anything other than pace the floor of my small room. Whenever he and I spoke, anger rose deep inside me. It wasn’t something that happened often. When he did make contact, there was always an underlying reason, and my suspicions were normally correct.

  I needed fresh air. Staying in and trying to focus would only make the wounds fester, something I didn’t need. Not now.

  After about an hour of strolling around campus, I found myself standing at the foot of the path that led to Tommy’s for several minutes, taking it all in.

  Did I have the right material to be a brother to them all? More importantly, was I willing to blend in with a bunch of guys whose only morals were at the bottom of a bottle?

  I sucked in all the angst and questions and stepped up to the door. The need to get a feel for the house, the occupants and, of course, see what Tommy and his peers had in store for me, consumed me.

  “Logan, my man, come on in,” Tommy said when he opened the door.

  Another party, but who was I to judge? “Thought about our last conversation. I wanted to see if there’s been any kind of conclusion,” I said, raising an eyebrow. A quick glance around the front foyer and it was easy to see that no expense had been spared. Then again, nothing ever was. Not when it came to these kinds of guys and the privileged world they came from.

  “Yes. You know, I was trying to call you earlier, but you were engaged,” Tommy said. “You’re here now, which makes my job so much easier.”

  “Is that right?” I asked, following him through the hall to the large kitchen.

  “Want a beer?”

  I shook my head and refrained from drinking anything that would sway my attention. “No thanks,” I said, and opted for bottled water.

  “So, me and the guys, we had our meeting, and weighed the pros and cons. A few feathers were ruffled, but nothing too serious,” he replied. “You and Drake are welcome to pledge to Gamma Alpha Pi.”

  “Wow. So there was no resistance from your good friend Ethan?” I asked, surprised.

  “Like I said, a few feathers were ruffled, but the situation was contained and controlled.” Tommy made it sound too good to be true.

  “So what happens next?”

  I took a sip of the water, never once taking my eyes off Tommy. I wasn’t about to become his pawn, so I made sure I listened to every word he said and watched his body language. It would have been all too easy to lose myself in the moment.

  “Well, first thing is, you need to complete the bidding process.”

  “The what?”

  “It’s nothing painful. I can assure you of that. It’s an informal gathering where all the pledges commit to the pledging process.” Tommy folded his arms across his chest.

  “How long will the process be?” I asked, trying not to let down my guard.

  “Six weeks.” He smiled. “Honestly, it’s just a ritual. Makes for a fun time and good bonding.”

  “Hmm, and does Drake know of the decision?”

  “He sure does. I think he’s out celebrating with your roommate, Todd,” he said.

  “Sure, makes sense.”

  “So are you okay with all of this?” he asked, looking sincere.

  “If Drake is happy enough, then why not? What have I got to lose?”

  I followed Tommy into the living room, where the music played quietly in the background.

  Several girls from some of the other sorority houses glared at me.

  Ethan sat like a king on his throne, sipping his beer, not once attempting to greet me, but I was cool with that. I had no intention of ever bonding with him.

  The rest of the evening passed in a haze. I didn’t want to be there, but I was obligated to show some sincerity. Given the fact that Tommy had swayed the majority, it seemed rude to not interact and pretend I was interested.

  When it was time to go, Tommy followed me outside on to the front porch. “Listen, Ethan might be a bit difficult, but it’s nothing I can’t smooth over. We’re on the swim team, which means we all need to get along, especially with all the meets coming up.”

  “Hey, man, I’m not the one with the problem,” I said, holding up my hands. “I’m a cool guy. I don’t want trouble.”

  “Which is why I still say you’re perfect blood for the brotherhood.”

  “Goodnight, Tommy,” I said.

  “See you Monday morning,” he shouted, but I was already miles away, thinking about the crap that would go down with my father.

  * * * *

  It was well after two p.m. by the time I crawled out of bed. Tired and sore, I glanced at the heap on the other side of the room.

  Spence was still out for the count.

  I grabbed my phone and scrolled down its interface, seeing several missed calls from home and a text from Bree. Seeing her name made my insides weak. It was crazy that she was having this effect on me.

  Hey, do you fancy meeting up later? Go catch a movie?

  Bree xo

  It was hard not to smile. I mean, how could I refuse her? She was everything I’d convinced myself I didn’t want or need in my life. I was
high on the adrenaline rush from the newness of it all.

  I texted her back. The idea of seeing her again hit home hard. I was well and truly on the road to falling for her.

  Sure, meet you at yours around four? :)

  Minutes later, I decided to call home.

  “Hey, Mom,” I said.

  “Honey, I’ve been calling since I got off my shift at eight this morning,” she replied.

  “I’m sorry. I was sleeping.”

  “How are you? How was your first week?”

  “It was good. It was harder than I thought it would be, but mostly really good.”

  “Oh, baby, I’m so glad to hear that.” She sounded anxious.

  “Mom, is everything okay?”

  “Of course, it is,” she said, then paused. “It’s just… Your father has been in touch, and I gave him your number. I know, you don’t have to say it, but he wanted to talk to you. I didn’t want to be the one to play hardball.”

  “Mom, it’s okay,” I said, trying to ease her anxiety. “He called. I’m meeting him later in the week.”

  “Oh!” she said in a surprised tone. “Are you okay with that?”

  “I figured I have nothing to lose, so yeah, I’m cool with it.”

  I sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the desk with my unfinished essay plan lying on it. My head told me I needed to complete it before anything else. My heart wanted something else, and it didn’t involve schoolwork.

  My mother rambled on for another fifteen minutes before I made my attempt of escape.

  “Mom, I’ve got to go,” I said.

  “Oh, that’s fine. I need to get the girls ready for church anyway,” she replied, sounding more relaxed.

  “I’ll call after I’ve seen Dad.” I slid off the bed and opened the closet. “I love you, Mom. Give the girls a kiss and hug from me.”

  “I love you, too, baby. Be good.”

  No matter how far away from home I was, she managed to wrap her love around me. It was the kind of love that completely washed away all the angst and pain of training, and whatever else decided to erupt inside my head when I thought too much.