A Cross to Bear

by Julieanne Lynch

Bree sat on the window seat, staring out onto the dark path. She kept checking her phone every few minutes, wanting to hear from Logan more than she cared to admit.

  She’d fit in all the studying her brain could handle, but was far too awake to go to bed. Jenny had been in and out of the room all night. She and Tommy had argued, and she was moping about, being a pain in the ass. Bree wasn’t the kind of friend to ignore her best friend’s attention-seeking and did what she did best.

  “You know what you need to do?” she said.

  “What?” Jenny asked between blowing her nose and taking a bite of another donut.

  “You need to go over there and tell him exactly how you’re feeling.”

  Jenny shook her head. “No way!” she said, chewing on the donut. “I won’t make myself look any more of a moron than I already do.”

  “Jenny, you’re allowed to make mistakes.” Bree sighed.

  She got up from her perch on the window seat. Bree climbed onto the bed next to Jenny and wrapped her arms around her.

  “He probably thinks I’m a bunny boiler,” she cried.

  “No,” Bree said. “He probably thinks you’re a little insecure.”

  “You should have seen his face, Bree. He looked so hurt.”

  “But you weren’t to know.” Bree tried her best to console her.

  “I totally overreacted and he hates me now!”

  When Jenny’s world got a little troublesome, she reacted with as much grace as a sloth trying to climb down from a tree. She couldn’t handle it and fell apart.

  A knock on the door made them both jump. Jet peered inside.

  “Caller for Her Whininess.”

  Jet moved away and let Tommy into the room. He looked just as upset as Jenny.

  When she saw him she jumped off the bed and ran into his arms. “I’m so sorry,” she cried into his chest.

  “I’m sorry for being an ass,” he replied, hugging her tight.

  That was Bree’s cue to vacate the room. Grabbing her shoes, she then left the room and joined a few of the girls in the kitchen.

  “Make-up session going on?” Martha asked, giggling and pouring some juice into a glass.

  “Yup,” Bree said, “I don’t fancy being a witness to that.”

  Bree sat with Jet and Martha, listening to them putting the world to rights.

  “I swear, my mother wants to drive me to an early grave,” Jet said. “The woman just doesn’t get it.”

  “Your mother is old school and homophobic,” Martha remarked, slicing an apple.

  “Can you imagine how she’d react if I brought a girl home?” Her face was devoid of any emotion.

  Martha laughed. “Oh my God, she’d have a fit!”

  “Then take out the holy water.”

  The girls burst into a fit of laugher.

  Bree enjoyed their chitchat. It was more amusing than listening to Jenny cry over something silly.

  “What about you, Bree? You ever been curious?” Martha asked.

  Jet smirked when she saw Bree’s cheeks redden. “Oh, Bree has a few skeletons in her closet.”

  Martha nearly choked on her apple and looked at Bree, her eyes open wide. “Oh my God, have you been with a girl before?”

  Bree smirked. There was no avoiding the question. “Possibly.”

  Jet laughed once more, hitting the breakfast bar with her hand.

  Bree couldn’t hide her own amusement and giggled.

  “See, I told you, Martha,” Jet said. “Every girl is curious. It’s only natural.”

  “Bree, who was it with?” Martha asked.

  “That I shall take to the grave,” she replied. She looked directly at Jet, who smiled at Bree with a knowing look in her eye.

  Bree’s phone rang. She glanced at it to see that it was Logan. “Hey!” she said, jumping down from her seat, and left the kitchen.

  “I’m out front. Fancy hanging out for a while?” he asked.

  “Yes!” Bree ran to the front door. She hurried down the path in search of him, full of confusion. She heard Logan’s voice coming from a silver BMW parked along the sidewalk.

  “Get in,” he said, winking at her.

  Bree smiled and got inside the brand-new vehicle, looking at Logan with curiosity. “Is this yours?”

  Logan nodded and smiled. “A gift from my father.”

  “Oh, wow, so things were good at dinner?”

  “It was weird,” Logan admitted, and drove off campus. “Like, really weird.”

  “How so?” Bree asked, interested in where things were going.

  “My father and I… It’s a really odd relationship,” Logan said. “Can I be honest with you?”

  “Of course, you can.” Bree touched the back of his hand and gave him a reassuring smile.

  “My parents were never actually together, you know, in a relationship. I was what most people call an accident. He left town pretty much the next day, leaving my mother a number to contact him if she was ever down South. Eight weeks later, she drops the bomb and contacts him, letting him know I was on the way. That she didn’t expect anything from him, but thought it only right that he knew.”

  “Oh, wow!” Bree said with astonishment. “I don’t know what to say.”

  “What’s there to say? It is what it is.”

  “So what happened after your mother told him she was pregnant?”

  Logan sighed and pulled into the parking bay of a recreational ground before turning off the ignition. “He flew up, saw her and took care of all her medical bills. Bought her our house and showed up when I was three days old.” He sounded sad as he recounted his tale. “From there on in, he made sure to see me every Christmas, and never missed a birthday. Even though those moments were magical to me as a kid, as I got older, I resented him. Resented how he got to leave, fly back home, and play happy family with his real family.”

  “I’m sorry, baby,” Bree said, taking his hand in hers.

  “It wasn’t until he saw me compete that his interests in me changed. He saw my potential, but our meetings were always cold and somewhat fake. Does that make sense to you?”

  Bree nodded and saw how hurt Logan was. She didn’t like seeing him this way.

  “I can’t imagine what it’s like for you. And I thought I had it tough, having overbearing parents who are always too busy actually to bother!”

  “Bree, I don’t want sympathy. This is my life. I’m just trying to figure out how to let him into it without wanting to hurt him,” Logan said, turning to face her. “But regardless of all that, he genuinely seems to want to be a father to me, which freaks the crap out of me because I don’t know how to let him do that.”

  Bree smiled at Logan, shaking her head. Although he was hurting, a glimmer of hope lay underneath all of his sadness.

  “You wanna know what I think?”

  “Sure.”

  “By accepting this car, you’ve already begun to let him become something more than just the man who helped create you. I say give the guy a chance. What have you got to lose?”

  “Possibly, but let’s forget about him and all my crap for now. How about we show this car a good time?” He winked at Bree, making her giggle as he pushed the car seat back and pulled her onto his lap. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered, pulling her face down to his.

  “I’ve missed you, too,” Bree muttered before she kissed him.

  Bree imagined that they were breathing their souls and mutual passion into each other with that kiss.

  It was hard, yet soft.

  Hot, but cool.

  A single moment, but also an eternal one. In that one kiss, Bree could tell what lay behind Logan’s quirky smile. It made her emotions for him grow even more.

  “You’re driving me insane,” Logan whispered in her ear, his lips grazing her earlobe and the nape of her neck.

  “I could easily say the same thing about you.”

  “We don’t have to do anything more than this.” Logan held on to her waist, squeezing her gent
ly.

  “It’s getting pretty tough, especially when you kiss me like you do, and hold me like you are.” Bree rested her forehead against his. “You make me want to do bad things.”

  Logan closed his eyes. “You’ve no idea how much I want to take things further,” he whispered, controlling his urges. “But not here, not like this.”

  Bree’s heart fluttered when she heard Logan say those words. She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. Her emotions were almost too hard to contain.

  “You’re the first guy ever to make me feel like I’m worth thinking about.”

  “Bree, you’re worth more than a quickie in a car.” He held her tight. “You’re amazing. Don’t ever let anybody make you feel any less.”

  * * * *

  Bree’s head reeled from her late-night rendezvous with Logan. She stood in the shower, the warm water trickling down over her face. Bree focused on Logan and the emotions he evoked in her. During her time with Ethan, he had never taken her feelings into consideration. In the span of a two-week period, Logan had showed her she was worth something, worthy of being loved.

  Before she could stop them, tears streamed down her cheeks. The raw emotion was new to her. Yes, she’d cried many times before, but these tears weren’t of sadness. They were full of relief. In an instant, everything she’d thought she wanted from life seemed to be erased by her newfound emotions for Logan. She wanted to be a better person. There was nothing more she desired than to be the woman Logan was falling for.

  As soon as the notion came into her mind, her anxiety presented itself—Jack and all his cunning behaviour. Bree never reflected on her regrets or the mistakes she’d made, not until she’d met Logan. A piece of her still desired the fun and excitement she experienced with Jack, but he’d become an unsavoury reminder of her deceit.

  She switched off the shower and dried herself. She got dressed before grabbing a quick breakfast and made her way to her first class of the day. Her phone rang.

  Jack.

  There was no running from it. She had to face the storm head on.

  “Hello,” she said.

  “Bree!”

  “What do you want?” She picked up her bag, ignoring the girls in the hall as she left the house.

  “I was thinking about you during my late-night swim last night.”

  Of course you were, she thought. She rolled her eyes and declined to comment.

  “I shall be in town this weekend. I’d like to see you,” he said.

  “I’m sorry, Jack, but I’m busy.” Bree did her best to resist him.

  “That is a pity.”

  Jack sounded slightly wounded, but Bree didn’t care. She didn’t need him, not as she had before, not anymore.

  “Jack, please don’t call me again,” Bree said.

  There was a short silence before Jack spoke. “We shall see.” Then the line went dead.

  Great, just what she needed when she had to focus! Another disgruntled ex was going to do everything in his power to make her life uncomfortable.

  “Boo!” A tap on her shoulder made her jump.

  “Jesus, Jet, don’t do things like that!” Bree said, scowling at Jet as they were walking to class together.

  “You were in a rush. What’s going on?”

  Bree looked at Jet. A look of curiosity spread across Jet’s face. Yet Bree didn’t want to fill her in on all of the sordid details.

  “Just crap,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “It’s the story of my life.”

  “Yeah, you’re a shit magnet.” Jet kept the serious look on her face.

  “Thanks for understanding.”

  “Hey, you know me, I say it like it is,” Jet remarked. “But if you need anything to help get your mind off your troubles, we can pick up where we left off.”

  Bree burst into laughter.

  Jet grinned and let out a sly chuckle.

  “Trust you,” Bree said, linking arms with Jet. “It was fun, but I fear I’m a stickler for men.”

  Jet shook her head, refusing to accept Bree’s comment. “I fear you haven’t a clue about what you want. Besides, I clearly remember everything.”

  “Oh, I remember it well,” Bree replied.

  The two girls shared a knowing look.

  * * * *

  Jet sat in the dark room with Bree. They were drinking shots of tequila and the only light came from a few candles Jet had lit. It was her room and Bree would never comment on the dark objects, the Tarot cards, or the crystals that adorned her dresser.

  Bree needed time away from Jenny. Hiding out in Jet’s room would be safe—it was the last place Jenny would think of looking.

  “All men are assholes,” Bree slurred. “In fact, I’d gladly turn lesbian rather than allow another prick near me.” She giggled once she realized what she’d said.

  Jet grinned. “Have you ever been with a girl before?” she asked before she downed another shot.

  “Nope.” Bree shook her head. “Have you?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  Bree glared at Jet. “Well, yes, I’d like to know.” She took another shot.

  “Of course I have,” Jet replied. “Guys don’t do it for me.”

  “I knew it!”

  “Should I be offended by that?”

  Bree shook her head and took Jet’s hand in hers. “I always knew you were a dyke.”

  Jet let out a laugh. Under normal circumstances, Bree was well aware that Jet would have punched someone in the face for the reference. But when it came to their friendship, Jet seemed to let Bree get away with a lot. “Good job I like you, Metzler, otherwise you’d be holding a bloody nose right now,” she said.

  Bree completely disregarded her comment and went straight for the kill. “What’s it like? Being with another girl?” Bree stared at her with genuine interest.

  Jet grinned once more. “Well…it’s nice,” Jet admitted.

  “So is chocolate,” Bree said. “You gotta give me more.”

  “Well, I can show you, but I’m not sure you have the balls for that.” Raising an eyebrow, Jet fixed her gaze on Bree.

  “Okay,” Bree said, shrugging her shoulders. “Show me.”

  Jet’s amusement changed. “You don’t mean that, Bree. It’s the alcohol talking.”

  “I do mean it.” Bree stumbled from the bed and took off her top, standing in her shorts and bra. “I want to know what it’s like to be with another woman.”

  Jet filled two more shots and handed one to Bree. “If we do this, we are only doing it for fun. Nothing else. No awkwardness between us. Nothing changes, okay?”

  “Scout’s honor,” Bree replied, and downed her drink.

  “Show me you want this. Take your clothes off for me,” Jet whispered in a firm tone.

  Bree realized it was really going to happen. Her fear and nervousness were canceled out by an intense need to understand something she’d never thought possible. She slipped the waistband of her shorts down and stepped out of them, unhooking her bra. She caught the look of lust in Jet’s eyes as she revealed her ample cleavage. She winked at Jet, sliding the elastic of her panties down to reveal her naked body.

  “Whoa,” Jet whispered, touching Bree’s waist. “Ethan is a stupid prick.”

  “His loss, right?”

  “Damn straight,” Jet said, taking off her own top and bottoms, revealing her tattoos and piercings.

  Bree inspected every inch of Jet’s body. She’d never looked at another woman that way, or experienced the overwhelming arousal that consumed her.

  “You’re so hot,” Bree remarked, reaching out to touch her.

  Jet removed her bra. She slipped out of her panties.

  They faced each other, naked, and Bree was curious about exploring. They moved closer together, both eyeing the other’s goods. Bree put her hands on Jet’s hips. She moved her lips to Jet’s and began with light, gentle kisses. Slow and passionate, the kiss gathered intensity. Then Jet’s han
ds began to roam. She used her nails to tickle her ribs before she ran her fingers through Bree’s hair. Bree caressed Jet’s breasts, tweaking her nipples. Their mutual lust grew. Bree’s need to try something new had her desire rising to the surface.

  Jet grabbed two pillows from the bed and threw them on the floor. “Lie down,” she said.

  Bree lay down on the pillow, not knowing what to expect. She giggled at the idea of doing something so intimate with another girl. “Are you sure you want this?” Jet asked.

  “Yes!”

  Smiling, Jet bent down and kissed Bree. “I want you to taste me first.”

  Bree nodded, her heart pounding hard inside her chest. She’d never seen a girl’s pussy up close before, never mind ever contemplating touching one.

  Jet knelt over Bree’s face. Her glistening pussy was now inches from her mouth. She reached down and rubbed herself a few times, exposing her clit to Bree, who watched in amazement as Jet fingered herself.

  As Bree observed how Jet pleasured herself, little tingles pulsed between her own legs. Her own clit throbbed.

  Jet removed her finger and lightly traced Bree’s lips with her juices, letting Bree taste what she was about to feast on. Without giving Bree a chance to end things, she moved down onto Bree’s face.

  Bree licked and sucked at the smooth pussy in a lust-filled feeding frenzy. She was amazed that a woman’s private parts could taste so divine.

  Jet moaned and cupped her breasts. “God…that’s so good,” she mumbled in between gasps. “Yeah, like that.” She rocked her hips back and forth, riding Bree’s face. Jet’s ragged breathing, the urgency of her grinding against Bree’s mouth, and the sheer velocity of her movements let Bree know she was close to having an orgasm. “I’m coming!” Jet announced, bucking forward, resting her hands on either side of Bree’s head as she rode the orgasm.

  As Jet climaxed, her pussy tasted tangier and had a stronger stream of juice. Bree lapped it up until Jet backed away, breathless and smiling.

  “That was fucking awesome!” Jet purred. “Now I get to eat you out.”

  That night, they shared many firsts. Jet taught Bree the art of pleasing a woman. When they awoke the following morning, they giggled and promised never to speak of their night of passion again, not unless either wanted a repeat performance.