A Cross to Bear

by Julieanne Lynch

  “Where have you been all day?”

  “Doing a few things,” Bree replied. “How did things go with Tommy last night?”

  Jenny’s face beamed when Bree asked the question. “He was attentive, like always.”

  “Glad to see you have a bit of color in your cheeks.”

  Jenny touched her face and got up from her desk. “You look like shit.”

  “I know. I drank a little too much last night.”

  Jenny rummaged through her purse and pulled out her phone. “Daddy called me. Said he’s in town next week and wants to take us to dinner.”

  The whole idea of sitting down to dinner with Jack and Jenny made Bree’s insides twist.

  “I’m not sure I want to do dinner,” Bree replied.

  “Oh, but it’s Daddy!” Jenny pouted. “You know he loves to spoil us.”

  “Yeah.” Bree sighed. “I’ll think about it. You know I want to spend time with Logan.”

  Jenny darted over to Bree and wrapped her arm around her shoulder. “I promise to convince him to sneak us champagne. And you can even bring loverboy.”

  “I’ll think about it, okay?”

  “Sweet, but promise me something.”

  “What?”

  “Get laid sometime soon. You’re getting boring, and I know it’s the sexual frustration,” Jenny said with a serious look on her face.

  “Oh, Jenny, trust you to lower the tone!”

  “Gotta love ya and leave ya,” Jenny declared and skipped to the door.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’ve some party prep to do. I offered to help coach the pledges tonight. You should come and watch your little Logan work his tail off.” Jenny smirked.

  “I’m not sure I want to witness Ethan being a jerk.”

  “Jerk or not, he’s got leverage for the next six weeks, so anything goes.” Jenny left the room.

  Never before had Bree wanted to smack the smug grin from Jenny’s face. She settled down on her bed, scrolled through her phone and saw a text from Logan.

  On duty tonight. Some lame ass party at GAP. Can I see you after? I’m training from 4-6:30, so if you reply, I won’t get it until later (insert goofy grin).

  Bree read the message and giggled. Logan’s training came before everything, and she accepted that. She was well used to the schedule and had experienced the odd hours when she had been with Ethan. This annoyed her, because she’d never had any intentions of getting involved with another athlete. Yet here she was, hanging on to Logan for dear life. With him, everything was right with the world.

  Bree replied, grinning as she typed.

  I can stop by, make sure they aren’t working you too hard. xo

  She dropped her phone on the bed and got up, choosing a fresh set of clothes before taking a shower. Rejuvenated, Bree slipped on her jeans and top. Entering GAP in a skirt wasn’t something she wanted. Giving Ethan another reason to ogle her. Adding an insult to Logan wasn’t something she could stomach. As she finished doing her hair, the phone rang.

  Bree jumped onto the bed and smiled, anticipating seeing Logan’s name. The caller was unknown. She contemplated answering the call. Bree listened to her head and told herself to grow up.

  “Hello,” she answered.

  “Bree.” Jack’s voice was the last thing she wanted to hear.

  “What do you want?”

  “Is that any way to speak to a lifelong friend?”

  Bree rolled her eyes and took a seat on the window ledge.

  “This can’t go on, Jack.”

  “Why ever not?”

  “Because I’m with someone else, and… Whatever this is, it’s a mistake.”

  A short pause followed before Jack spoke again. “Oh, yes, the athlete. Jenny was telling me all about him.”

  Bree could feel her cheeks flush. “It’s none of your business.”

  “It’s such a shame that you see fit to end things on such a sour note,” Jack remarked. “I’ve grown fond of our time together.”

  “Please, Jack, don’t do this.” Bree’s voice broke.

  “I hoped you would want to continue our little arrangement, seeing that we both got what we wanted.”

  Jack kept pushing her, insisting on letting the affair continue, regardless of what she asked for. He refused to listen to her.

  “No, I don’t want it anymore,” Bree shouted. “And you have to accept that.”

  “Oh, Bree, I do accept it. I don’t think you realize how much you’ll miss me,” he said, sounding smooth and quite calculating.

  “I don’t care, okay?”

  “That’s fine, Bree. I won’t force myself on you, which would never bode well with me,” he replied. “But as a peace offering, I shall be taking both you and Jenny out for dinner. You’re more than welcome to bring your new friend with you.”

  This was Jack all over. Always the smartass. There was no competing with that level of dickishness.

  Bree swallowed hard before she spoke. “I can do dinner, but I’ll never be alone with you again,” she said.

  “I always like a challenge.” He laughed. “I’m joking with you, Bree.”

  Ugh! Bree groaned internally.

  “Bye, Jack,” she replied and ended the call.

  She picked up her purse and left her room, refusing to think about Jack, his stupid attempts at seduction, or whatever his game was.

  “You going out?” Jet asked as Bree headed toward the front door.

  “Yup, I need air.”

  “Don’t forget food.”

  Food was the last thing on Bree’s mind. “I’ll see.”

  “Be good,” Jet replied, and winked at her.

  Bree left the house, taking her time and contemplating everything in her life. Her parents hadn’t been in touch for quite some time. They were busy doing what they did best, making sure to pay for her tuition and housing fees. But the nurture she craved from them wasn’t there.

  Shortly after seven p.m., Bree stopped walking in circles. She decided on grabbing a late meal of sushi at the Courtside Café. Sitting alone never bothered her. She wasn’t one to care about how people saw her. She wasn’t afraid of doing things on her own. In some ways, she was the exact opposite of Jenny.

  As she ate, she glanced around the small café and saw two guys sitting in the corner, talking quietly. On closer inspection, she realized one of them was Drake. He looked agitated and upset. Under normal circumstances, she would have gone over and asked him if he was all right, but his body language said something else completely.

  The guy Drake was with, she had never seen before. From the way he touched the back of Drake’s hand, Bree could tell there was more to them than met the eye. Not wanting to be caught staring, she continued eating, making close observations every few minutes.

  Drake looked more upset as they spoke. It wasn’t until he straightened his posture that Bree noticed the tears in his eyes. He got up and left the café, the guy following close behind.

  Bree’s curiosity got the better of her. She couldn’t sit still a moment longer. She wanted to make sure Drake was okay. She left her unfinished meal behind and stepped out of the building.

  Drake had his back to her, though she was close enough to hear what they were saying.

  “You can’t keep denying who you are, Drake,” the guy said, touching Drake’s arm.

  “You don’t get it,” Drake replied. “I’ll be ruined if anyone found out.”

  “Jesus Christ, man, it’s the twenty-first century. Who gives a shit what people think?”

  “I do,” Drake said. “I care about my image and reputation.”

  “So I drove all this way for nothing?”

  Drake looked up at the sky and exhaled. “I didn’t ask you to come here. When I left, I left you and all that baggage behind.”

  “But I thought you loved me? Or was that just some made up bullshit used to let me down gently?”

  Bree’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. She couldn�
�t believe what she was hearing.

  “Chris, don’t do this. Not here, please,” Drake begged.

  “Why? You don’t want your friends knowing you’re gay?”

  “I’m not doing this,” Drake said, holding his hands behind his head and turning around.

  He caught sight of Bree.

  Before either Chris or Bree could stop him, Drake ran away.

  Bree stood on the sidewalk, staring at Chris. Drake’s secret wouldn’t be a secret for long. Not if Ethan got a whiff of his sexual orientation.

  Just when Bree had convinced herself that she had the world figured out, something came along and turned everything upside-down. Jet had been right, the torrent was coming, and it had an unpredictable course.

  * * * *

  At nine p.m., Bree made her entrance into the GAP house. The party was now in full swing with girls, booze, music, and the usual games.

  Jenny was busy being the hostess, earning herself brownie points for every good deed she did.

  Tommy was in the hall, laughing and joking with Russell. Ethan was nowhere in sight.

  Letting out a breath of relief, Bree head straight over to Jenny.

  “Hey, you,” she said.

  Jenny planted a kiss on her lips and smiled at her. “You took your time.”

  “I stopped for something to eat.”

  “I thought so. Here, drink this,” Jenny said, handing Bree a beer.

  “Is it that obvious?” Bree put a hand to her mouth, conscious of her breath.

  “You and sushi don’t make for a great combination, if you get my drift,” Jenny joked.

  Bree playfully hit Jenny on the arm. “How are the guys doing?” she asked, looking around the room and out to the dining room.

  “They’re surviving. Drake, or Tiny Tim as Ethan likes to call him, seems a little distracted. He was a little late in arriving, so that’s going to cost him at some point,” Jenny remarked, shrugging her shoulders. “Other than that, they’re doing well. Tommy seems happy with them.”

  Although she was relieved, slight discomfort consumed her. She wanted to get Drake alone for a few minutes. She couldn’t leave things as they were now.

  “I’ll go mingle,” Bree said, taking her beer with her.

  “Well, if you get bored, you can come help me top off,” Jenny said, pointing at the shot glasses.

  “Yeah, and how many of those have you had?”

  Jenny giggled and winked at her. “One or two.”

  Bree laughed and strolled away. She knew damn well that Jenny was helping herself to the shots. It was Jenny’s way of getting into the party mood. She sipped her beer, eyeing Logan as he cleaned the kitchen, filling trash bags with empty cans.

  “Hey there, Flipper,” she said with a cheesy grin.

  “Very funny,” he replied, cringing at the name.

  “All in the spirit of the Greek system.”

  She reached up and gave him a kiss before one of the house brothers cleared his throat and shook his head.

  “Not when on duty!” Logan replied, giving Bree a knowing look.

  “You know, you might be here all night,” Bree said.

  “Seriously?”

  “Yup, they decide when you leave.”

  Disappoint clouded Logan’s features. “Well, that sucks,” he said.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll wait up for you.”

  Her words made him smile.

  “I can live with that. Now, back to whatever the fuck this is.” Logan groaned and winked at her.

  “I’ll go mingle some more. But later, you’re mine.” Bree smiled at him and left the kitchen.

  Bree wanted to give in, to allow her animal urges to take over. For the most part, she liked how Logan respected her. Though they’d been a little experimental, her feelings for Logan continued to grow.

  She stepped out of the back door, where a small gathering of people sat around the fire, drinking, laughing and smoking pot. Bree saw Drake picking up litter from the grass.

  He eyed her coming toward him and she could see that he had nowhere to run.

  “Drake,” she said. “Can we talk?”

  “Listen, Bree, you seem like really nice and all, but you haven’t got a clue what you think you saw.” Drake was quick to defend himself.

  “I know what I heard and I know what I saw.”

  “Let it go,” Drake said. His eyes narrowed.

  “I’m not going to tell anyone,” she whispered. “But how long do you think you can keep the pretense up before one of these guys finds out?”

  “That’s a risk I’m going to have to take,” Drake whispered and looked around the garden.

  “Are you willing to put your own happiness at risk to save face?”

  “You don’t get it, Bree. People like me, we’re not really accepted. Not in places like this.”

  “Oh my God! You’re crazy if you think you have to do this alone. I know that if you spoke to Logan—”

  Drake cut her off before she could finish. “Don’t say it. There will be no telling anyone anything, you hear me?”

  Bree could see the pain he was in, though he refused to allow anyone in long enough to help him.

  “I don’t want to see you hurt,” she said, touching his arm.

  “I’ve been hurting all my life. What’s a few more years?”

  “It shouldn’t be this way, and you know it.”

  “Bree,” Drake said. “I know you’re trying to help. But you’ve gotta understand, being gay will destroy my career. Why do you think I came here? I needed to have distance between me and Chris. I thought he understood, but it turns out that he doesn’t.”

  “Drake… This will destroy you before anything else.”

  “Then I guess I’ll find that out for myself.”

  Bree could tell that she wasn’t getting through to him. He stared at her, his eyes dark and serious. Deep inside, she swore to herself that she could never break his trust.

  “Please don’t mention this to Logan or the guys,” he whispered.

  Shaking her head, Bree’s own heart was heavy. “I promise. I won’t.”

  Bree left, full of understanding. The trust people placed within you became a burden. The cross to bear was now greater than ever before. No amount of praying or wishful thinking would change the course of the future. Not unless she opened herself up to the demons from her past. That was going to take more courage than she knew she had.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I worked my balls off all night after being assigned kitchen duty. After making sure the refrigerator was stocked and the kitchen was clean, I was ready to unwind.

  Spence was on toilet duty, cleaning up any messes left behind, and Drake was out in the yard, picking up the litter. The rest of my pledge class was scattered around the house doing anything and everything that was required of them.

  Around three a.m., Tommy said we could leave.

  Even though I was exhausted, my longing for Bree far outweighed any desire for sleep. I saw Jenny drunkenly climb the stairs with Tommy. Bree would be alone in her room. I took out my phone and dialed her number.

  “Hey, you,” she answered.

  “Up for a late-night booty call?”

  “Absolutely!”

  I ran from the house, eager to have Bree in my arms. The front porch light was on when I got there and Bree was waiting inside.

  She opened the door and threw herself into my arms.

  I kissed her as if my life depended on it. She was dressed in her panties and a loose sweater. I couldn’t wait to remove them.

  “I’ve missed you,” she whispered in my ear and led me up to her bedroom.

  Once inside, it didn’t take long for the moment to overcome us. I kicked off my shoes.

  Bree trailed her lips over my cheek, her breath fanning my ear.

  “I don’t think I can hold back anymore,” I said, lifting her into my arms.

  She wrapped her legs around my waist. “Then don’t.”

 
I set Bree down on the edge of her bed and stood in front of her, taking off my shirt.

  She undid my belt and unzipped my jeans, pushing them down over my knees.

  I stepped out of them, my erection noticeable through the material of my boxers.

  Bree looked up at me with hungry eyes.

  I pulled her top over her head, leaving her breasts bare. Reaching down, I took her breasts in my palms and caressed her flesh, her hot nipples poking into my hands.

  I had no intention of rushing the moment, so I held back. I wanted the night to be one both of us remembered. Satisfying Bree was at the forefront of my mind.

  She got up.

  I took her hand and turned her around, pulling her back against my chest.

  She gasped and tilted her head. Our lips brushed together as I continued to tweak her nipples.

  My hardness rubbed against her the entire time. I moved my hand down across her belly. I slipped my fingers inside her panties, cupping her pussy in my hand and squeezing it slowly, making her moan. I slid my fingers down over her clit, touching her lightly.

  Her body trembled next to mine. “Yes,” she whispered.

  I drove my fingers inside her and worked her burning pussy. Her juices seeped out over my hands, wetting the material of her panties.

  She bucked her hips forward. Her breath grew erratic. Her body tightened under my grip. I moved my wet fingers up to her swollen clit, circling it fast until she gripped either side of me. She held on tight. Her moans filled the room. “I’m coming. I’m coming!” She gasped in urgency.

  Her legs almost gave out on her as she balanced on the tips of her toes. If it hadn’t been for my arm holding her close to me, she would have collapsed.

  I slipped my creamy fingers out from her panties and brought them to her lips. I traced her wetness around her mouth before pushing my finger inside, letting her taste her own pussy juice.

  “My God! You’re so fucking hot,” I whispered in her ear. I gently grazed her neck with my teeth.

  “Fuck me!” she begged.

  I turned her around to face me, kissing her and tasting her juices on her lips. This drove me nuts. Pushing her panties down, I lowered her back onto the bed, gazing at the beauty beneath me. Bree was mine. She was a goddess and needed to be worshipped.