Moon of the Crusted Snow

by Waubgeshig Rice

  Meghan stepped up from the dip where the ditch used to be. Her narrow aluminum snowshoes sank slightly into the crust of the snow. She smiled at the children in the wooden sled. “Hi there, what are your names?”

  “I’m Maiingan, and this my sister Nangohns,” the boy said.

  “Aaniin!” the girl piped up from the front.

  “Those are nice names!”

  “We were going a little stir-crazy in the house all morning,” said Nicole. “I decided to take them out for some fresh air.”

  “That’s a good idea. At least it’s not windy out today.”

  Nicole noticed Meghan’s gaunt cheeks and the heavy purple circles shadowing her bright blue eyes. It shocked Nicole, who remembered her looking healthier. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen her, though. Most people just let the visitors be in the small pocket the community had granted them.

  “You’re Nicole, right? Evan’s wife?”

  “Sort of. We were planning on eventually making it official but all this happened. And I know you’re Meghan.”

  “I guess pretty much everyone around here knows our names, eh? There’s no hiding.”

  “Well, if anyone can hide in the snow, it’s you guys.”

  Meghan let out a nervous chuckle.

  “I’m just kidding,” assured Nicole.

  They both giggled. Then Meghan held her stomach and leaned over in uncontrollable laughter. She caught her breath and stood up. “Sorry,” she said. “I guess I needed that.”

  Nicole guessed Meghan was a little older than her, but not by much. But she had aged. She looked malnourished, exhausted, and even traumatized. And Nicole knew who was the root of that trauma. She felt sympathy but wasn’t sure if she wanted to connect with this woman, or how to do it while staying out of Scott’s way.

  “Sometimes all we got is laughter,” Nicole said, echoing something her own mother would say. “Around here we say it’s good medicine.”

  “Not much to laugh about these days, though.”

  “You guys are still settling in. It’ll get better.” Nicole’s words hung in the air. She sensed the woman in front of her was on the verge of breaking. “Are you really alright over in your new place?”

  “As good as we can be, I guess.”

  Meghan paused and Nicole waited. It was obvious to her there was more this tired woman wanted to say.

  “Scott’s a fucking asshole,” Meghan blurted out. “Sorry for swearing in front of your kids.”

  “Don’t worry. They’ve heard them all by now. Especially since winter started.” Nicole flashed a friendly half-smile to ease the other woman’s rising tension and noticed tiny tears threatening to slip from Meghan’s eyes.

  “He just . . . he orders us around. He threatens us. And the worst part is, Brad has totally fallen in line.”

  “That’s your husband?”

  “Yeah. It’s like he’s his little lapdog. And sometimes I catch Scott staring at me. It really creeps me out. I’m worried he’s gonna . . .”

  Her voice cracked before trailing off. Nicole stepped forward to put her hand on her shoulder. Meghan tensed up at first, then Nicole felt her ease.

  “Do you want to come back to our place for some tea and something to eat?”

  Meghan wiped her nose with the back of her glove and sniffled hard. “Thanks, but I better not. I have more snares to check. He’s expecting us to bring back some food.”

  “Is he pulling his weight at least?”

  “I really don’t know. He says he has a plan.”

  “A plan for what?”

  “A plan for stuff to eat whenever all that emergency food runs out.”

  “What could that be? We’re hunting and trapping already. We’ll set nets for fish when the ice breaks up.”

  “He says that won’t do it. He always nods at Brad and Alex when that comes up — like he’s trying to intimidate them. But they won’t say anything to me about it. And it’s weird — he seems to be getting bigger, though I know that’s not possible. Probably it’s just the rest of us are getting skinnier.”

  Nicole felt a chill run through her arms. What’s he planning on eating? she wondered. “Do you think they’re —”

  “Sorry, I gotta go,” Meghan interrupted. “They’re probably waiting for me.”

  “No, wait, just come get warm for a few minutes.”

  “No, I can’t. Thanks, though. I’ll see you around. Nice to meet you kids!” She turned and trudged through the snow as quickly as the snowshoes would let her.

  “Wait, hold up . . . Meghan!”

  Her back was to them as she threw up a hand to wave goodbye. The emptiness in her gut told Nicole to take the kids back home.

  Twenty-Four

  Tyler fumbled with a heavy ring of keys as dawn broke in the east. The cold bit at his bare fingers. Terry, Evan, and Isaiah stood behind him, shuffling on the crusty snow with their snowshoes under their arms.

  “Goddamn it, hurry up!” prodded Isaiah. “It’s fuckin’ freezing out here!”

  “Calm your ass down,” Tyler responded. “I got it.”

  Keys clanked as he unlocked and pulled the door to the shop open. They entered, their billowing breath tinted purple and orange in the morning light.

  Ration day was Tuesday. Though most had abandoned their calendars, they managed to count the days between the rationing. Terry still managed the food dispersal and he maintained a routine as best he could. He relied on a small black day planner that he kept in the front pocket of his parka, but it wouldn’t matter if he lost it: the hungry showed up every Tuesday, earlier and earlier with each passing week.

  Home delivery of food supplies had ended about two months earlier, when the gas and diesel allotted for vehicles ran out. Now it was up to each person to come and get their own rations. The shop had become the designated pickup spot because of the bodies stored in the garage at the band office. It was farther for most people to walk, but it was the only reasonable solution. Few other community buildings were fortified or secure.

  Late one night, they had moved about half of the food cache — enough for the rest of the winter, they calculated — from its storage under the garage to the shop. It took all night. With the bodies lying nearby, the process was sombre and weird.

  Isaiah went to the back room to start a fire in the backup wood furnace. The brightening morning pushed through the small windows on the east and north walls of the building, lighting the main room where the men gathered. Each sat on a plastic chair, waiting for the space to warm before getting to work.

  “We gonna have any major meltdowns today?” Evan asked.

  “Hope not,” said Terry.

  Roughly 100 people came every week for food. When you multiplied that with the number of people back in their homes that was about a quarter of the community’s population. The others still had enough, with their own stockpiles of frozen meat and canned food gathered and bought before the blackout in the fall.

  Evan and Tyler went to the back to get boxes of canned ham and peas and hauled them to the front, placing them behind the white tables that would become the weekly dole station. They repeated this until they had eight hundred cans ready to go.

  “I dunno how these people can eat this shit,” muttered Tyler, setting down a case of canned ham. It was a generic brand, also known as “rez food.” Only the most impoverished ate it — those with a little more money or hunting and fishing skills took pride in being able to avoid it. But now, few could afford to be picky.

  “I dunno man, fry it up and put some mustard on it, and it’s not too bad,” said Evan.

  “That’s sick.”

  “What kind of snob are you, anyway? Don’t forget, you’re rez, man!”

  “Yeah, but until everything goes back to normal, I can take care of myself.”

  “Wh
at do you mean ‘back to normal’?”

  “When the power’s back on and everything.”

  Evan said nothing. He couldn’t tell if his friend was naïve or in denial. He thought it was likely the latter: maybe it was the trauma of his younger brother Kevin’s story of escaping the collapse of the city. Maybe Tyler just didn’t want to accept it.

  When they returned with the last of the cans for the week, Amanda was at the table, poring over a handwritten chart and making an inventory of what was going out. The front door opened again, letting a blast of cold air in, and Sydney, Cam’s partner, walked in. “Mino gizheb. How you guys doing this morning?”

  Amanda looked up at her niece and smiled. “Oh hi, my girl! Nice to see you. We’re doing good, thanks. You here for some miijim?”

  “Yeah, if you got some.” She pulled two large canvas bags out of her parka pockets and walked up to the table. “Miigwech, I really appreciate it.”

  “How’s my nephew doing?” Evan asked.

  “Oh, he’s good. He loves being with his grandma and grandpa all the time now.”

  That was news to Evan. “He’s with your mom and dad?” he asked. He knew they stayed there regularly, but this sounded permanent.

  “Yeah. I am too.”

  “How long you been there?”

  “Almost a week now.”

  “Oh yeah? How come?”

  “I didn’t want Jordan to be around those people anymore.”

  Scott and his followers. The rumours had only grown since their last confrontation. Evan realized, with a jolt and some shame, that he had been avoiding his brother. Sydney’s stern tone and blank face scared and disturbed him.

  “Is Cam with you at your parents’?” he asked.

  “He drops in once in a while,” she replied, as she helped Amanda load her bags with the cans.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You should probably find your brother and talk to him.”

  Sensing the tension rising, Amanda changed the topic. “Do you guys have any flour left over at your mom and dad’s?”

  “Yeah, a couple bags.”

  “You should probably use it up soon. Do you know how old it is? It might start going bad. Fry up some bread and freeze it for later. These cans won’t keep you full.”

  “Okay, thanks, Auntie. Yeah, I made some bannock, but I also got some bags of it frozen too. I’ll do the rest today.”

  She picked up the heavy bags in each hand, and turned back to the door.

  “Do you need a hand with that?” Evan asked.

  Sydney turned to look at him. “No, I’m good thanks. It’s a good workout. It’s gonna be beach season again soon so I gotta stay in shape.” She chuckled and smiled at him, but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. He remembered her younger sister Tara, frozen in the ditch months earlier.

  “Bring Nic and the kids by my mom and dad’s place sometime,” she said.

  “For sure, that’d be nice.”

  “K, see you guys later.”

  Evan watched her leave and thought about his brother. What the hell is he up to? he thought. Is he hanging around Scott? He should really know better.

  “Hey, I think there’s a couple more boxes we gotta get.” Isaiah broke into Evan’s reverie and motioned to the back of the shop. Evan followed Isaiah through the door and into the dark storage area, where Isaiah turned to him with a worried look. “What she said reminded me of something.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I saw Nick on the road yesterday afternoon when I was going from Candace’s to my dad’s.”

  “Oh yeah? What was he doing?”

  The disastrous party at Cam’s flashed into Evan’s mind. Since then he had rarely seen his younger brother’s friend.

  “He didn’t look good.”

  “Really?”

  “No, he was kind of pale. He looked real skinny. His cheeks were sunken in.”

  “Is he sick?”

  “Maybe. Maybe he’s just hungry.”

  “Weird. Why isn’t he out snaring rabbits? Why doesn’t his uncle share his stash of food with him at least? Donny should have enough if he has the Northern’s inventory squirrelled away like they say.”

  Isaiah shrugged. “He said something really weird to me too.”

  “Oh yeah? What?”

  “He said that he had just seen Scott walking down the road.”

  The mere mention of the man made Evan’s fingers curl into fists.

  Isaiah continued. “He said that Scott stopped him and started asking him weird questions, like about how hungry he was. He said Scott had told him that he knew where to get extra food if he needed it.”

  “What the hell?”

  “Yeah, he said then Scott tried to get him to go with him. He said he almost went, but he got creeped out. He was walking back home when I saw him.”

  “Jesus.” Evan took off his toque and scratched his unwashed hair. “What kinda shit do you think Scott’s up to? Is he hunting and black marketing meat? What’s he taking for payment? That guy does nothin’ for free.”

  “Fuck if I know.” Isaiah’s shoulders slumped as he headed back into the light where a lineup of restless people was forming.

  Twenty-Five

  Darkness seeped into the house as the sun set. Nicole pinched the tiny copper wheel to turn up the wick of the glass lamp and lit it with a black lighter. The corner of the kitchen was revealed as the flame caught. She picked up the stack of colouring books and moved them to a lower shelf, in case they became a fire hazard. The children had coloured everything in them but they still enjoyed looking at them from time to time. Nicole was conscious that sometime soon, even this light source would disappear with their supply of kerosene.

  Nangohns and Maiingan sat on the floor in front of Dan. Their grandfather relaxed back into the soft chair. Nicole stepped to the couch and sat down between Evan and Patricia. It was story time.

  Dan leaned forward and cleared his throat. He looked deep into the children’s eyes. Maiingan flashed a smile missing baby teeth in the bottom row. They loved hearing stories — especially from their grandfather.

  “Do youse kids know the one about Nanabush and the geese?” he asked. The lamplight glimmered in his brown eyes. The children shook their heads. The adults on the other side of the room cradled mugs of hot tea that had been made from boiled snow on the stove in the basement. Evan tried to relax after a long day of walking through heavy snow checking on elders and carrying loads of firewood indoors. The muscles in his back were tense.

  “Well, it was early in the fall a long time ago,” Dan continued. “Nanabush was getting really hungry. He knew winter was coming and that he had to get ready. He didn’t have much food saved up yet. You know how me and your daddy go hunting a lot before the snow comes?”

  They both nodded.

  “Well, Nanabush was behind. He shoulda been hunting for weeks. But he was getting lazy. He was too busy swimming and eating the berries that come late in the summer. But then those ran out. And he decided it was finally time to go looking for food. So he walked down to the lake to try and find some geese.

  “He walked for a really long time and didn’t see any. ‘Did they already fly south for the winter?’ he asked himself. ‘If they did, I’m in real trouble.’ He knew that the snow was still a couple weeks away. But sometimes the ones with wings know the seasons better than we do. For all he knew, they could already be gone.

  “He kept walking up the shoreline, looking all around him and listening. Then all of a sudden he heard something in the bush up from the shore. It sounded like singing and yelling. He couldn’t tell what exactly it was, so he walked up the little hill into the bush. ‘Who’s making all that noise?’ he said.

  “He came to a clearing in the bush, and he saw the geese! They were singing and dancing around. They lo
oked really happy. Like it was a party! So Nanabush walked up to the one closest to him. ‘Goose!’ he said. ‘Why are you all singing and dancing?’

  “‘We are leaving soon for the winter, Nanabush,’ said the tallest goose. ‘We are giving thanks and asking for a safe journey and good health along the way.’

  “Nanabush looked around. He counted thirty geese in that circle in the bush! Can you count to thirty?” Dan asked his grandchildren.

  “Oh, I can!” Maiingan raised his hand and rapidly fired off numbers until he reached the mark.

  “Well done, my boy!” said Dan. “Now do it in your native language.” The boy repeated the numbers in Anishinaabemowin, which took a little longer.

  Dan picked the story back up. “So the geese were leaving for the winter. Do you know the Anishinaabe word for winter?”

  Nangohns’s hand shot up. “Biboon!”

  “Ehn, yes, my girl. That’s right! Good job.” He looked above them to see Evan, Nicole, and Patricia smiling on the couch.

  To conserve precious resources, the families did most things together, rotating the hosting responsibilities. The idea was to save on firewood and food by living more communally. The only unpredictable variable was Cam. Sydney and their son stayed with her parents, but Evan knew Cam often wasn’t there. He would return to the duplexes where Scott ruled.

  “So anyways, the geese were all dancing around and singing.” Dan’s gestures became more animated as the story’s action built. “They were very plump, because they had to eat a lot for their journey south. They needed lots of energy to fly that far. Nanabush started licking his lips. Look at all these geese, he thought. They’re enough for me to get through the winter! And they’re so fat!

  “Nanabush was the trickster. So he started to think of a plan to trick them. ‘My brothers and sisters,’ he said. ‘Let me join you in your celebration. I want to wish you well on your journey to the South, so I’d like to offer you a dance.’