Just a Little Faith

by Amy J. Norris

  Throwing her purse on the bed, her mind still focused on seeing Jake. “I need to call Jessica. I can’t believe he’s here.”

  She grabbed her cell phone from her purse, crossed the room and opened the doors leading to the balcony. A coolness in the air raised goosebumps on her arms. She grabbed the comforter off the bed to wrap up in while she sat on the lounge chair outside.

  Jessica’s excited voice pierced her thoughts. “Hey! I wondered if you were going to call. Are you having a blast?”

  “I am. Sorry I didn’t get a chance to talk much last night, everyone here celebrated until pretty late in the the evening. Thankfully, things didn’t get too wild.”

  “I’m jealous you got to go, but I’m glad I could turn off the TV and go to bed when it ended.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Pax. You okay? You sound distracted?”

  “Jess, you’ll never believe who I just ran into in the hotel lobby. Jake.”

  “Jake? Jake Temple? Wow, I haven’t thought about him in years. What’s he doing there? How did he act?”

  “He’s here for a conference. He acted surprised to see me for sure, but he seemed happy about it too.”

  “How did Seb react?”

  “Seb? He reacted fine. Why do you ask?”

  “Pax. You had a crush on Jake for over a year. You don’t think Seb might be somewhat jealous?”

  “No. I never actually told Seb about it. Like you said, it’s been at least three or four years since all that went down. I’m a different person now.”

  “But how did you feel when you saw Jake?”

  “I admit, a part of me got nervous and excited. But, Jake… he always had that effect on me. You know that.”

  “Yep. I do. And Seb’s a pretty smart guy. I can bet he picked up on it, too.”

  Pax sighed into the phone. “Oh, I doubt it. We’re supposed to meet Jake for dinner tonight. It will be interesting to find out what’s been going on in his life. I’m anxious to tell him what’s happening with me.”

  “You know Pax, when Jake didn’t reciprocate your affections, you were heartbroken. Just check your feelings to make sure you know what your true motivations are for meeting him, okay?”

  Not liking the turn of the conversation, Pax decided to end the call. “If you say so, Jess. Listen, I better get ready. I’ll talk to you soon.” As she hung up the phone, Pax looked out over the city lights. Surely she didn’t want Jake again, but what could explain her sudden nervousness over seeing him after all these years?

  ****

  Seb paused before rapping three times on the dark hotel room door. He stepped back and waited for Pax to come out. Sensing unresolved feelings between Pax and Jake, Seb didn’t look forward to dinner. For the first time since he met Pax, he didn’t like the emotions brewing in his heart. Not since Melissa met Rick had he felt like another man might be infringing on his territory. He wouldn’t let it happen again.

  The door opened and Pax waved him inside. “Hey Bash! Let me grab my purse and I’ll be ready to go. Did you rest some?”

  “Um. Not really. I guess I wasn’t really tired.” Seeing her wearing the red dress she’d worn for him at Christmas sent his stomach twisting in knots. “You look nice.”

  “Oh. Thanks. I thought I might dress up a little for the evening.” Grabbing her purse off the bed, she then looped her arm through his and smiled. “Okay. I’m ready to go.”

  When they entered the lobby, Seb grimaced upon seeing Jake already there. Anxious to get dinner over with, he forced a smile on his face when Jake greeted them across the room.

  “Hey. I took the liberty of getting us a table. They said it would be just a minute.” When they reached him, Jake took Pax’s hands in his. “Pax, you look stunning.”

  Seb didn’t think his gut could twist any more, but it did. He looked longingly at the bar. A stiff drink sounded great at the moment.

  “Thanks, Jake. I appreciate it. You look nice, yourself.” Seb had to admit, Jake did look nice in his suit and tie. Suddenly, he felt underdressed wearing khakis and a Polo shirt.

  Their table ready, the hostess led them down the front section of the restaurant to the back corner. Seb started to pull the chair out for Pax, but Jake beat him to the punch. Internally he seethed seeing Pax lightly rest her hand on Jake’s. That looked like more than a token of gratitude.

  “So, Jake. I take it you’ve been here before. What do you recommend?”

  “Let’s see if I remember correctly. Pax, you love a good salmon right? Theirs is excellent. And Seb, if you like a good piece of steak, I suggest the filet.”

  “That’s right Bash, you do like an excellent steak.”

  Looking over the menu, Seb almost felt the urge to order chicken out of spite. He knew his feelings were probably unfounded, but he didn’t care. The way Jake looked at Pax… Seb wanted to pick Pax up, throw her over his shoulder and leave. Somehow, he didn’t think Pax would appreciate the gesture.

  “Thanks for the recommendation. I’ll consider it.” There, that didn’t seem too harsh.

  “Jake, what’s been going on with you? Still working at the architecture firm?”

  “Well, yes and no. I’m still doing architecture, but for a different firm now. About two years ago, my current company made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. What about you? Where are you now?” He eyed Seb. “And how did you two meet?”

  “At work, actually. I don’t live in Alabama anymore. I live outside of St. Louis and work for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Seb came in to talk about doing some work for LLS and here we are.”

  “What? Wow. That’s quite a change. Good for you. And you Seb, you’ve got a great girl here.”

  Laying his arm across the back of Pax’s chair, Seb lightly ran his hand down her arm. “I know. She’s been a real life saver the past few weeks.”

  Jake’s face registered a brief tint of red. “That’s right. My apologies for not saying something before. It was horrible what happened to your family. Please accept my sympathy.”

  Knowing he meant well, Seb nodded. “Yeah. It’s been a rough couple of months.”

  An air of sadness came over the table.

  Trying to lighten the mood and find out more about their past, Seb decided to investigate. “So, Jake, how did you and Pax meet? Being as you’re from Arizona and she from the South.”

  “Actually, we met through a mutual friend at a party. There were, what forty or fifty people there, but we were seated across the table from each other. After only a few minutes, we realized we had a few things in common.”

  Pax interjected. “Yes. When he started talking about how he was at the World Series when the Yankees were crushed in the seventh and deciding game, I knew we would be friends.”

  Laughing, Jake agreed. “And don’t forget how we both ordered the exact same food at the restaurant.”

  “That’s right! I forgot about that.”

  Feeling more information could be gathered, Seb posed more questions. “So, you met at the dinner and what? Became friends from there?”

  “Pretty much. We emailed quite a bit, and visited each other a few times. We even took a trip together with some friends. Then, you know how things go…we just drifted apart.”

  The tone of the conversation turned. Seb sensed something wasn’t being said. Pax wouldn’t look up from the table, and Jake fiddled with his napkin too much. “Yeah. I guess that can happen to the best of us.”

  Clearing his throat, Jake leaned on the table. “Pax, I’ve got to ask about this name you’ve been calling Seb all night, Bash is it?”

  She giggled. “Oh that. It’s silly, actually.”

  Seb bristled at her comment but held his tongue.

  “But it’s something that came up on our first date, and it stuck. Now I don’t even think to call him anything else.” She reached over to pat Seb on the hand, and he tried his hardest to smile in return.

  They made small talk over dinner until Pax sat up straight in her chair.
“Do you still go to the church in the valley, Jake? That’s where I’m planning to attend Sunday before we fly out that evening.”

  “I do, but I’ll actually be on another business trip by then. A firm in Las Vegas is looking over some of my designs. I’m sorry I won’t get to see you there. What are your plans until then?”

  “Bash is taking me to the Grand Canyon tomorrow. I haven’t been there since I was twelve or thirteen, I think. I’m anxious to see it again.”

  “It is breathtaking. One can never see it enough. God sure knew how to make something indescribable. If I didn’t have this conference, I’d love to join you.”

  Silently cheering, Seb whispered sarcastically to no one in general, “Oh yeah, Jake. That’s too bad.”

  “Well, I have an early morning full of meetings, so I think I better get back home.” Getting up from their chairs, they walked toward the lobby. Pulling Pax into his arms, Jake hugged her for a full minute before releasing her. “It’s been a real pleasure to be with you again, Pax. We can’t let so many years pass without seeing each other again.”

  “I know, Jake. Seeing your face brought back a lot of happy memories for me.” Her eyes seemed to linger on Jake’s face a little too much for Seb’s liking.

  Extending his hand to Seb, Jake patted him on the back. “And it was great to meet you, Bash.”

  Stiffening at the use of his nickname, Seb barely nodded in reply.

  Watching until Jake left the hotel, Seb turned quickly on his heel and headed for the elevators.

  He heard the clicking of Pax’s heels on the tile behind him, but he ignored her calls.

  “Bash! Bash! Wait!”

  Frustrated, he pounded the button for the elevator over and over, muttering curses under his breath when the doors didn’t open immediately. He sensed her presence behind him without looking to confirm it.

  “I don’t know what just happened, Bash, but what’s come over you?”

  “Only you get to call me Bash. No one else.” He gritted his teeth. “Unless you think it’s silly.”

  “Sebastian. Really. I’m sure Jake didn’t mean anything by it, but with the way you’re acting I think it’s more than that.” He felt her hand on his shoulder attempting to pull him around to face her, but he shook it off.

  “Why did you never tell me about Jake? We’ve been with each other almost daily for what, two months now? And this is the first I’ve ever heard of this guy.”

  He heard her step back, the air awash with tension. “Whoa. I haven’t seen Jake in four years, at least. I guess I didn’t think he mattered anymore.”

  Swiveling in her direction, Seb towered over her. “From the looks you two gave each other, I’d say something mattered between you, and maybe still does.”

  The elevator dinged its arrival and, when the doors opened, Seb stepped inside, crossing his arms across his chest. “When you’ve figured it out, you let me know.”

  Pax’s face as it crumbled in sorrow was the last image Seb saw before the elevator doors shut. Closing his eyes, he pounded the wall with his fist in frustration.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Pax tossed and turned. For the life of her, she didn’t understand Seb’s reaction to Jake. She’d met his friends and she’d never stormed off in a huff. Of course, the more she thought about it, she’d never met any single female friends, really. Who was to say she wouldn’t have felt the same way about them?

  Pounding the pillow into submission, she thought about what Jessica said on the phone. Did she only want to see Jake in case there were old feelings of unrequited love between them? It seemed crazy. She enjoyed being with Seb. She hadn’t thought of Jake in years, but one glance of his blond tousled curls, and she felt like the girl of five years ago, young and infatuated with someone who showed a little interest in her, but didn’t reciprocate her affections.

  “It doesn’t make sense. I don’t want to be with Jake. I want to be with Seb.”

  She didn’t want to even think of telling herself she loved Seb, because she didn’t know if she did, but she knew her desire for him outweighed any feeling she had for Jake, past or present.”

  Looking at the clock, she saw the numbers flash 2:15am. Somehow, she felt Seb most likely wasn’t sleeping either. Throwing the covers off the bed, she jumped up and went to the closet to grab a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Quietly, she unlocked the door, and looked down the dark corridor. Tip-toeing down the hall until she reached Seb’s door, she lightly knocked, hoping against hope she wouldn’t wake him.

  The door cracked open. Sad eyes greeted her.

  “Bash, I know it’s late, but I have to…”

  Opening the door he gestured for her to come in. He remained in the clothes he’d worn to dinner, his bedcovers not touched.

  “You want to join me out there?” He pointed to the open door that led to the balcony.

  Silently, she walked past him and sat down in one of the lounge chairs outside. He stood away from her, looking over the railing into the city below.

  “I guess you weren’t sleeping, either.”

  He stared off into the city lights, refusing to make eye contact. “Nope. I couldn’t. And you?”

  “I tossed and turned, but couldn’t shut my brain off.”

  She stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Bash, I am so very sorry.”

  He remained quiet, his slow even breaths the only sound.

  “I didn’t think about what my meeting Jake would do to you. I should have told you this afternoon, before dinner, what went down between us those years ago. I guess I didn’t because I was embarrassed in a way.”

  At this, he turned slightly where she could just see his profile in the moonlight. “Embarrassed?”

  “Yes. Back when I met Jake, times were different for me. Desperate for attention from any person of the male persuasion, I completely misinterpreted his feelings. I pretty much threw myself at him, and he, being slightly dense as some men can be, didn’t understand the depth of my crush on him. He thought we were buddies, pals. I wanted something more. After a year or so of emailing and even visiting each other, I finally figured it out when he told me he’d met someone, and couldn’t wait for me to meet her.”

  He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Oh, Pax.”

  “You can imagine I was crushed. I mourned the loss of his friendship for several months after, and I hated myself for being so stupid.”

  Sebastian turned to face her completely, reaching up to move a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “You weren’t stupid, Pax. He was the dumb one for letting such a great girl get away.”

  Her face broke into a grin. “You’re sweet, Seb. I guess when I saw him tonight, part of me wanted to see what he’d think of me now. To see if he could tell I was different and also…to show you off. It was a terrible thing to do, Bash, and I apologize.”

  “It’s my fault too, Pax. Seeing you and Jake, I guess it reminded me of Melissa and Rick. I felt like he was trying to horn in on my territory and well, I wouldn’t take that. If you wanted him, I wasn’t going to fight him. I’ve been through it before.”

  She laid her hand against his cheek. “Oh, Bash. You never have to worry about me choosing Jake over you. It doesn’t mean there aren’t things we still need to work on, but you will win every time, hands down.”

  His eyes softened, and he lightly pressed his lips to hers. Stepping into the hotel room he returned with a blanket. Moving the chair aside, he sat down on the lounge chair, gently pulling her to lie beside him then covered them with the blanket. They remained that way until the sun rose a few short hours later.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  January ended, and February began which meant Seb would be leaving for Florida soon. His dogged determination to be in the best shape possible consumed him for the last two weeks prior to his leaving. Pax relished their time together, knowing when he left for Florida, their separation could mean a change in their relationship.

  Several Saturdays, Seb j
oined Pax in surprising the TNT groups at their training sessions. Initially in awe of his attendance, participants enjoyed his tips and techniques he picked up after several years in baseball, and Seb seemed to enjoy it too. Pax especially loved spending the mornings running and biking with him.

  After their disagreement in Arizona, things couldn’t have been better between them. Occasionally, to Pax’s delight, Seb joined her at church, and he continued to go with her on her visits each week to the Children’s Hospital. Every visit brought both tears and happiness to them both. The children loved having Sebastian there and, of course, they begged Paxson to sing at every opportunity, which thrilled Sebastian to no end.

  When the day arrived for Sebastian to make the trip to Florida for Spring Training, he asked Paxson to drive him to the airport. There, he would catch up with Linc and Rangy, and the three of them would fly to West Palm Beach together.

  Trying to hide her sadness over his departure, she kept the conversation flowing in the car ride over. By peppering him with questions over what went on during those few weeks in Florida, she hoped to keep her mind off of their separation, but her biggest concern involved his relationship with others. The last few months had been some of the best of her life. She feared what might happen when Seb got to Spring Training and became inundated with his old life and past influences. Dear Lord. Please help him stay true to himself and to me. I know I haven’t asked for a commitment from him and this is a risk I am taking. But if it is Your will Lord, let him return to me an ever better man, desiring of a relationship with You.

  Sebastian got his gear out of her sedan, letting the skycap check it at the curb. Pax was determined not to cry; one tear would lead to hundreds. He, too, seemed to be struggling, for he looked everywhere but at her face. Finally, he stopped, taking her face in his hands he looked into her eyes. “I will miss you. But before you know it, I’ll be back here in the city, and it will be just like it is now.”

  She attempted a half-hearted smile. “Take care of yourself Bash, and call if you have the opportunity. And don’t have too much fun with the guys.”