“No! I was planning on brushing him off, but now you’re going to make things difficult because you’ve taken an interest in his cousin.” She narrows her eyes at me.
“Sorry, but honestly, I’ve slept with the same guy five or six times and it never meant anything, so I’m sure you’ll be fine if you cave and go for a third round.” I knock her with my elbow, trying to lighten things up, but she’s taking this news harder than I thought.
She picks up her head to look at me. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Callen’s a sweet guy, but he’s a little immature. OMG did you see his body? Holy shit, and he’s good in bed.”
“So there you go — added bonuses.”
Anna still looks worried, despite my attempt to show her the positive side of things. I think deep down she knows that she’s capable of falling hard for a guy; she’s just bent on preventing it. We spend the rest of the afternoon quietly typing away, and we finish our papers by the time we have to get ready for our shift at Mickey’s.
Sunday nights aren’t so busy at the bar. I usually like to take the Friday/Saturday shift because they’re great nights for making tips. But another bartender asked me to switch shifts with her, and I agreed for this week. Now that I see what a slow night it is, I’m disappointed. I need the cash to pay my bills. A couple of hours into my shift, Luc walks through the front door with his cousin. He’s wearing a black t-shirt and blue jeans, a lot more casual than the dressy clothes he usually wears. His eyes meet mine and he makes a straight line for the bar with a sexy smile on his face. My heart skips, and I reassure myself, This is all good, Lex. He’s an exotic foreigner, so of course he’s got your attention. You can handle this.
I brush my hair off my face and straighten my shoulders. He sits on a stool by the bar and asks for a whiskey on the rocks. We joke around a bit, and I’m in my usual flirtatious work mode, treating Luc the way I treat the other patrons.
So, when another hot guy walks up to the bar, I easily flirt with him, too, smiling and joking around. From the corner of my eye, I catch Luc watching me, but I act like I don’t care. The corner of his lip is lifted, letting me know that he’s still not backing down from the challenge. Callen takes his beer to one of the vacant spots, and Anna hangs around his table, totally flirting with him. I think I can see now why she was worried earlier. She seems to like him.
Luc leans over the bar, watching me. I walk back over to him. “So tell me about yourself, Alexis.”
“There really isn’t much to tell,” I say curtly.
“Why do I have a hard time believing that?” he asks. He’s tall, so his neck is close to me when he leans in, and I get a whiff of his cologne. It reminds me of our little bathroom rendezvous this afternoon.
“It’s true. I spend most of my time going to school and doing homework. When I’m not doing that, I’m working here. That’s about it.” I pick up a towel to wipe down the bar.
“So you’re an open book, are you?” he pauses, examining me, like he doesn’t believe a word I’m saying.
“I guess I am.”
Luc looks skeptical but intrigued. I don’t understand what he wants from me. There are plenty of girls around who would be drooling all over him. In fact, there’s a table of girls sitting in the far corner who’ve been checking him out for the past twenty minutes.
Suddenly, I’m hit with an idea. It’s a quiet night, and Mickey won’t be stopping by. I should take Luc to the backroom for a quickie. He said he’s never done spontaneous before. I can be the first to introduce him. Besides he really needs to loosen up, and it will distract him from his recent line of questioning.
I walk over to Anna and ask in a whisper if she minds covering the bar for about twenty minutes. She definitely knows what I’m up to and agrees to help me out. I head back behind the bar and lean forward toward Luc’s ear. He glances down at my breasts in the slutty tank top. He’s totally checking out my cleavage. “Follow me,” I tell him.
He follows me to the backroom with a sly smirk. “So is this what you do, sweet Alexis?” he asks, drawing me in by the waist. I’m wearing a short jean skirt so he’ll have easy access.
“I guess. I’ve been trying to make it clear to you that I’m not the type of girl you bring home to your parents. You want fun? I can give you fun, but it’s really all I have to offer.”
He doesn’t reply. Instead, he pulls me in for a heated kiss. This time he gets down to business, and I’m guessing that he’s come prepared. He takes full advantage of my short skirt.
“You have a great body. Look at this ass.” He grabs my behind. “And these breasts.” He puts his hand under my shirt, making circles around my nipple with his index finger. He pulls down my tank top and bra and places his mouth over my hardened nipple. I moan in response.
“You know, it’s a lot of fun having sex in public places, but sex in a bed can be good, too.” He licks my nipple then gives me a little bite. It sends a shooting pain of need between my legs, and I feel myself getting wetter. “There are a lot more positions in a bed we can get to besides the ones we can do here in the closet.” His head still at my breast, he whispers, “I need this tank top off.” He lifts the tank over my head. He unclasps my bra and his green eyes blaze. His reaction to me makes me even hotter. He lays me down on Mickey’s desk, and leans forward on top of me. I run my hands up the side of his chest and take off his shirt. Holy fuck! My breath hitches at the sight. It looks like he has an eight pack. He leans forward again and our chests touch. His hot skin against mine lights me on fire. His jeans are lowered, and the condom is in place. He slides inside me, filling me, and I’m so ready for him. “Shit, you feel good,” he says.
He moves in and out of me slowly, allowing me to adjust to his large cock. I’m hungry for more, and anxious for my release. “Please, Luc, faster,” I plead, my voice a quiet moan.
He begins moving faster and I take my long legs and wrap them around his waist. He slams into me hard and I groan, reveling in his roughness. He pulls on my nipples with both hands, sending a shooting pain of pleasure to my core. I knew he would be intense. “Ahh,” I groan out from the mixed sensation.
“Come for me, sweet Alexis. I want to hear that sweet mouth of yours scream,” he says with a deep, raspy voice.
Oh my! I’m not used to the men I’m with being so verbal, and I like it.
“Yes, Luc, please, harder!” I beg, surprising myself. He pulls my hair off my face and holds it firmly in a ponytail, causing my chin to lift up and exposing my neck line.
He rubs his stubble along my chin down my neck and then nibbles on my ear whispering, “Come for me.” I’m a goner, and my inner core clenches tight around his cock. Squeezing and releasing, drawing out my ecstasy. Enjoying his relentless thrusts into me, for me. I call out loudly, worried that people will hear me outside but not giving a shit either because this feels too good. He stiffens, driving into me hard, and emits a guttural groan that urges me on even more. Then he stops and I’m disappointed. Yes, I had an earth-shattering orgasm, but I want more. So much more.
“We’d better stop, Alexis. I don’t want this condom to fall off or leak,” he says in between ragged breaths. He’s right and I’m grateful that he’s careful, but I’m on birth control so I’m not worried about pregnancy. He slips off the condom and throws it into the waste basket beside Mickey’s desk. I make a side note to myself to empty the garbage can at the end of the evening. I don’t want Mickey finding that. Luc caresses my face gently with his hand and helps me off the desk. I feel light and airy and my legs feel like Jell-o. I knew he would be good. My inner self pats me on the back.
I adjust my skirt and put my bra and tank top back on. This thing we have going on feels different. I feel something for him. It hasn’t happened to me in a long time. I want to push my emotions aside and act like I don’t care, but I look at the boyish grin on his face and can’t help but smile. It was a good release for him, too. His eyes aren’t carrying the same intensity they usually do. At least not r
ight now.
I brush my fingers through my hair, pulling it into a ponytail. I’m all hot and sweaty now. Luc pulls up his jeans and puts his t-shirt back on. My show is over.
“I have to confess that I thought you had plastic surgery on your breasts. I can’t believe they’re real,” he says with a silly grin, placing a hand around my waist. I don’t know why but my cheeks flush pink at his comment.
“I like this look on you,” I say. I’ve only met him a couple of times, but he knows I’m talking about the clothes he’s got on. Maybe it’s my way of deflecting his compliment.
“Thanks. I’m trying the laid back look tonight. I was hoping I’d feel more relaxed and I definitely was.” He grins.
“Well, I’m glad to hear it. I told you spontaneity is fun.” I wink, taking his hand, and guide him out of Mickey’s office and go back to my place at the bar. Luc takes a seat with Callen at a table. I feel sated after our little tryst this morning left me wanting more.
Anna walks over to the bar and knocks my hip with hers. “So was he everything you expected?”
I nod, trying to hide the smile threatening to appear across my face. “Yeah, he really knows what he’s doing.”
Anna bobs her head. “Wow, that good, huh? Well you look like you’ve been thoroughly fucked.”
“Yeah.” I keep nodding, not knowing what else to say.
“Shit. Maybe it runs in their family or something. You have to see the size of Callen’s dick,” she says, slapping her hand to her lips. We both burst out laughing because the conversation is ridiculous, and I hope no one is listening.
As the night wears on, I keep busy preparing drinks for the different patrons walking up to the bar and at the tables. Every once in a while, Luc throws me a smile or a sexy wink, and I smile back. I tell myself that was it. I enjoyed him, and now, it’s time to move on.
I look down at my phone and realize it’s midnight. The shift is finally over. Luc walks up to the bar, takes my hand, and kisses it. “Good night, Alexis.”
“Good night.” I smile back, realizing that I want to see him again. Geez, what’s wrong with me? My stomach flutters and my heart hammers. I need to get a grip here.
He goes to walk out but stops himself and turns back around so he’s facing me. “Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?” One eye is crunched together, like he’s not sure he should be asking.
I feel a little awkward now, too. “That sounds an awful lot like a date.”
He nods. “Consider it two people who need to eat. That’s it. Oh actually, if we end up fucking at the end of the night, just call me your fuck buddy.”
My mouth drops open. I wasn’t expecting anything like that from him. I wonder where he learned the term “fuck buddy” anyway. Callen must have updated him on the lingo.
I feel bad saying no, especially since he mentioned the no-strings-attached sex. “Sure, okay, I can do dinner.”
“Good. I’ll pick you up from your apartment at seven.” That comment gets me all nervous again and he knows it, so he throws in, “Fuck buddy. Seven o’clock.”
And I’m speechless.
Chapter 7
No Regrets
January 2004
The day of my sweet sixteen arrived. It was a snowy and cold January afternoon, but there were moments when the sun peeked through, shining brightness on my day. Butterflies floated in my stomach as mixed emotions swirled through my body. No one had ever made me a birthday party before, and I definitely wasn’t used to being the center of attention. I was the girl in the backdrop, barely seen, using the art of camouflage so my existence wasn’t detected. This day would be a serious change from my normal. I wanted to escape town, but I stopped myself, knowing I should embrace the excitement.
Every weekend there was a different party to go to. Kelly and Sam, the twins, had had their party last weekend. Nicky had had hers the weekend before. A lot of our friends snuck alcohol in since the parents tried to give us our privacy. Drinking wasn’t my thing. I saw how it turned Mom into a monster, and I didn’t get the point. I always had fun dancing the night away and didn’t need alcohol in my veins to be in a party mood. Anything that took me out of the house for a night made me happy. It was also reassuring that I’d made sleepover plans for Ashley, so she wouldn’t have to deal with Mom on her own. Total score on all ends, I hoped. I hurried to throw on some sweats because I’d promised Emily she could dress me and do my makeup. She was so excited; I didn’t want to let her down.
Once at Emily’s, I sat on a chair in front of a mirror in her room. It was a typical girly space, painted purple with classic cream-colored furniture and a canopy bed draped in pink tulle, in true princess style. She was definitely a girly girl, which made her the perfect person to get me ready for my sweet sixteen, since I knew nothing about makeup and fashion.
Emily stood over me. “Alexis, stay still or I’m going to mess up.”
“Sorry. You know this stuff isn’t my thing,” I replied, trying not to move so the eyeliner she was applying didn’t get smudged.
“I know, but this is a special occasion. A girl only turns sixteen once.” She leaned forward, brushing some mascara on my lashes.
“I guess you’re right. But I feel like a clown.” I frowned.
“Trust me, you’re gorgeous. Very far from being a clown.”
Emily’s intentions were good, but I felt like she was turning me into something I wasn’t—a princess.
“Let me go grab the dress. You’re going to love it.” Emily squealed, throwing her hands in the air like she was cheering, and ran out of the room on her tippy toes.
Her excitement was contagious; my butterflies returned. She raced back into the room, carrying a light pink, strapless dress. The bodice was shiny with pearl beading and a dark pink tulle skirt. It was perfect.
“Oh, Alexis, all the guys will totally be checking you out tonight. Matt will need to keep you close.” She held her hands against her face, reeling with excitement.
“Thanks, Emily, but I don’t know about that,” I said with a neutral tone.
“You really don’t realize how beautiful you are, do you?” She had this sincere look on her face. I didn’t know how to answer her because my looks were nothing special. I didn’t want to stand out at all and imagined crawling into a ball and letting the night fly by without being noticed.
“Well, you’re totally gorgeous, and all the guys want you. I’ve heard them talking about what a lucky guy Matt is.”
“Thanks, I guess.” Emily has given my self-esteem a slight boost. I liked the attention Matt gave me. He was sweet and wanted to spend time with me. It felt good after my father’s rejection. I had thought that maybe I wasn’t loveable, but being with Matt helped to change that a bit and hearing that other guys wanted me gave me some reassurance that maybe I had a chance to be loved one day.
Straightening my long, blond hair with a dryer, then curling it with an iron, Emily created a fountain of fancy spirals. I didn’t recognize myself, but I really did feel like a princess. My gloomy reality also meant that I had my own wicked witch waiting for me at home at the end of the night.
I took the dress and went into the bathroom to try it on. Not only did it fit, but it also brought out color in my fair skin and matched my blond hair and blue eyes to a tee. My heart constricted at the kindness Emily had shown me.
I looked into the mirror, and my good mood fell. The dress sat about mid-back and didn’t cover my old scars, let alone the new, open wounds that hadn’t healed over yet. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t. Alexis, don’t put your head down. This is your special day, and you deserve this. For once in my life, I listened to my inner voice. I wasn’t going to let my mother ruin this day for me. I walked out of the bathroom head held high, with the dress on. When Emily saw me, her eyes glimmered. I turned around to face the mirror, giving her my back. I watched her excitement wither away and her eyes water.
“Shit,” she blurted out. “Alexis, what happened?”
“Don’t worry, babe. I’ve got a solution.” Emily was like a resourceful busybody. She had an answer for everything. She opened up her dresser drawer and pulled out a light pink, fitted tank top.
Holding it up to me, she said, “Put this on under the dress. It’ll look like one piece, and no one will be able to tell. It will completely cover your back.”
She was an angel sent from heaven. I really didn’t want to give up my chance to wear such a special dress.
“Emily, I, uh, I don’t know what to say.” My eyes teared up.
She lightly placed her hand on my shoulder, looking deep into my eyes. “Don’t say anything. Just please don’t mess up your makeup.”
“Okay. Thank you so much, Emily.” I hugged her.
“Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”
I smiled at her gratefully, then she yanked me into the hall by my hand, and we headed over to Matt’s house.
Emily’s mom dropped us at the front door. His house was a mansion, and it was as if a number of houses had been connected together. Matt’s mom opened the large wood front door, and we entered the foyer covered with sleek white marble. Everything about the house was grand. Having dated Matt for two months, I was familiar with the layout.
“Oh my, Alexis, dear, aren’t you a sight? Wait until Matt sees you!” Matt’s mom exclaimed with a bright smile on her face. I already hated the attention, and a huge knot formed in my stomach.
“Thanks, Mrs. Gord. Should we wait down here?” I asked.
“No, no, head right on in. Emily mentioned she had some decorating to do.”
Emily entered the house with a large duffle bag and got to work setting things up. She’d made a huge banner that said, “Happy Sixteenth Birthday, Alexis!” My heart swelled with the effort my good friends had made for me.
Bitter Sweet Love Page 6
