“Hey, watch it, girl! What’s the rush?” She straightens herself back up.
“Shit! Sorry, Anna.” I head into the bathroom, untying my hair. “I have a date with Luc. He’s going to be here in twenty-five minutes, and I haven’t even showered yet.” Anna stands by the bathroom door.”I need to wash my hair. It’s all frizzy,” I tell her. I want to close the door, but Anna doesn’t budge.
“Oh, please. Just bat those beautiful blue eyes of yours, give him your classic smile with those incredibly cute dimples, and he’ll be putty in your hands. All men are putty in your hands. It’s so unfair.” She waves me off.
“Give me a break. You’re gorgeous. Don’t pull that crap on me.” I roll my eyes at her.
“Whatever. You’d better start getting ready now. You’re down to twenty minutes.” She looks down at her watch and laughs. I’m always running late for things.
It’s almost seven, he’ll be here any minute, and I haven’t gotten dressed yet. I’m also not wearing any makeup. What do I wear? Luc’s seriously hot, and he’s always so dressed up. I can’t just wear my classic jeans and a pair of Converse, besides we’re going to a restaurant, too. This is the part I hate about dating—the effort you put in to look good. I hate working so hard to get dressed up, but I have these damn butterflies in my stomach, which tells me I should be trying a bit.
Quickly, I pull my favorite skinny black jeans out of the closet. They show off my figure and go great with this fitted, black tank top I have with leathery material in the front. It’s kind of sexy. I put on stiletto heels. Luc is tall, so I won’t feel like a tower next to him. Then I apply the only makeup I ever wear, eyeliner and mascara. I walk out of my bedroom to see Luc standing in the middle of the family room. Anna’s clearly taken the liberty of letting him into our apartment.
“Hey, beautiful.”
It’s seven. He’s right on time. Oh my! He looks so GQ. He’s wearing black dress pants with a close-fitting, black, button-down shirt that hugs his muscles. It’s a little funny that we’re both wearing all black. We actually make a nice-looking couple. What’s wrong with me? This isn’t a real date. We’re just eating a meal together.
“You look absolutely gorgeous,” he says, making me blush. “Why are you blushing? Can’t a guy give a beautiful girl a compliment?”
Damn! That sexy French accent. What is it about French men?
“I’ll need a taste of you later,” he says, so easily, so smoothly, I almost choke. Anna is standing beside us and her mouth drops open. I don’t know if I should run for the hills, or beg him to fuck me right here.
As an aspiring attorney, I’m not usually without a comeback. Luc is definitely trouble, and the nice, warm feeling between my legs and the clenching of my lower stomach tells me that I’m out of my element.
We have a nice dinner, talking and laughing together. As he describes different sites to see in Paris, my eyes widen. I’ve always wanted to go there. He comes from a big family and his mother’s been calling him every day. But he says he’s happy to be in Canada and in no rush to get back home. His family sent him here to represent their company in North America. They run a technology firm that sells software to all types of businesses. It means he’ll have to do some traveling to the States, but his anchor will be Toronto. There’s something about him I find refreshing, and I don’t know if it’s his kind, intense eyes or the way he looks at me, but it’s enough to stop me in my tracks. Every word is so carefully pronounced, sliding off his tongue. He stays close during conversations, invading my personal space. Usually I hate it when people get too close, but I’m finding his nearness intoxicating.
We finish dinner and he suggests a movie. I’ve never been to the movies with a guy, other than Dylan. I sometimes go with a group of friends but never a guy. I hope he doesn’t think this has turned into a date because I’ll go running and that would be awkward. Meaningless sex is all I can handle right now.
“How about Grown Ups 2?” he asks.
“Sure, that sounds good. I saw the first one and it’s really funny,” I say.
In the theater, he puts his arm around my shoulder. This is so a date. I force myself to take a few deep breaths and relax. Then the movie begins and it’s so funny that it distracts me from my present predicament. After the movie he drives me home, and there’s an uncomfortable silence radiating in the car. I contemplate inviting him in to my apartment. His eyes are glued to the road and he looks like he’s deep in thought. The whole situation makes me tense.
He pulls up in front of the apartment and looks at me. He’s waiting for me to make the next move.
Do I ask him to come in? I need to do something quick because the air is becoming uneasy in here. I never invite guys into my home, but the sexual chemistry between us is undeniable. I’ve felt firecrackers going off all night, and I might explode if he doesn’t come inside with me.
I’m grateful when he leans forward and whispers sweet things in my ear and kisses my neck. “Hey, do you want to come in for a bit?” I mumble.
He follows me into the apartment. I hope Anna isn’t around. She’ll think I’ve totally lost it. I can’t focus for too long though because his mouth devours mine slowly, sensually. I break away from him, thinking of the bottle of Cabernet I have tucked away in a kitchen cabinet. I leave him on the couch and walk over to the kitchen, finding the bottle and two wine glasses. I’m definitely going to need some wine to relax. I’m treading in unchartered territory.
We sit on the couch sipping our wine. Well, actually I’m gulping mine down, and he’s sipping, looking a little perplexed. He reaches forward to kiss me. The kiss rapidly intensifies, and Luc twirls his tongue and bites on my lip. His body is pressed into mine, and I place my hands on his solid shoulders and rub them along his back, feeling his muscles ripple beneath my fingers. He leans me back on the couch, his body on top of mine, his cock pressing into me at just the right place, causing the clenching between my legs to increase. He lifts my shirt above my head and sucks in a deep breath. His reaction turns me on more. But I’m still not sure that I want him in my bedroom. The couch isn’t an option because Anna could walk through the door at any moment. My mind flicks back and forth between curbing my need and giving in to it. I try to think straight, but he’s kneading and pulling my nipples, making my decision difficult.
“We should go into the bedroom. Anna might come home, and I don’t want to be in her way,” I blurt out, surprising myself.
He gets up, and in one quick move, lifts me in his arms. I just broke my rule and there are going to be consequences. He kicks the door shut with his foot and lowers me to the bed. We completely lose control. I rip his shirt off and he yanks off whatever clothes I have left on. We kiss hungrily, our bodies pressed together, our breathing fast, and our need growing. His hot breath on my neck sends shivers down my spine, and his large, strong hands roughly handle my breasts. He stops to put on a condom, and the only thing rushing through my mind is that I want him to hurry. He slides inside of me and we move together in rhythm. He picks up the pace, driving into me over and over again. I’m in ecstasy, and I can’t help but notice how long he’s able to last without coming.
He flips me over to my stomach and continuously drives into me hard. He smacks my butt, and it stings, and though I’m a little shocked, I’m also very turned on. Moan after moan escapes my lips as Luc slams into me relentlessly. He moves me onto my back.
“I want to look into your eyes when you come for me,” he whispers.
As if it were even possible, he picks up speed, and my legs flail in the air, while he pounds into me hard and deep until I’m seeing colors. I yell out again and again, then his movements stiffen, becoming more jerked as he releases himself. Fuck, is this even real? How did that last so long? Then he falls on the bed beside me.
Not only have I never brought a guy to the apartment, but also no one has ever stayed the night. Only I’m not panicked. I’m embracing the moment and enjoying myself. But when we lie bac
k on the pillows on my bed, I wait for him to get up, but he doesn’t leave.
“Are you thirsty?” he asks, his chest rising and falling.
I touch my hand to my neck. My throat is very dry. “Yes, come. We can get some water from the kitchen,” I say, slipping out of bed.
I put on a short robe, and Luc throws on his boxers. I get each of us a glass of water. I hop up on the kitchen counter to sit and he closes in on me, kissing me softly, our lips cool and wet from the water. My robe opens, and his erection presses in between my legs. Instantly, my legs wrap around his waist. I’m ready all over again.
Through our kissing, I mutter, “The bedroom. We need to get to the bedroom.”
He tastes like sweet mint and smells of soap. He pins me up against the wall in my room, fucking me hard. My orgasm builds.
“Don’t come,” he orders, and I’m a little confused because the sweet friction between us is causing me to build. I think he senses my confusion because he says, “I told you I wanted to taste you.” His voice is low and raspy and filled with promise. He pulls me away from the wall and lowers me to the bed. The gold flecks in his eyes look like fire and the green surrounding them fluorescent in my dark room. He’s beautiful, every inch of him. His head lowers in between my legs, and he pulls my folds apart, licking slowly. I’m already very wet from our very rough encounter against the wall. My hips rise and fall to meet the delicious flicks of his tongue. He begins to swirl his tongue all over my clitoris and into my opening. I moan as my head falls back and my eyes close.
I’m lost. Lost in the thralls of passion with this intense man who knows how to bring me exquisite pleasure. Heat builds in my stomach, and I feel my insides clench.
“Come for me, Alexis,” he says, his voice a sweet demand.
And I come, intensely. Colors fly past my eyes and I scream out his name again and again. When I’ve come down off my high, my breathing is ragged. Luc rips open a condom wrapper and glides the latex swiftly on his length. Watching him is so hot. He slides inside my very swollen core and thrusts into me hard.
“Ah,” I breathe out from the tortuous pleasure. I never knew I enjoyed rough sex until now. He pounds me, deep and hard, and I feel myself building up for him all over again. I’ve never spent the night with a man so multiple orgasms were out of the question. Until today my maximum in a day had been two. I think Luc is about to break that record. My hands run up and down his strong back. He stands at the edge of the bed, straddling my legs, and drives into me hard. He places his hands on both my breasts and circles them. His head falls back, and I keep my eyes open, watching his steel body rip into me again and again.
“Come for me, Alexis. I can’t hold on anymore. Your pussy is so tight and sweet.” He groans and I let myself fall over the edge again.
Nuzzled beside me on the bed, he says, “We are good together, Alexis.”
“Yeah, I guess we are,” I reply, not looking at him. I’m not sure where he’s going with this. He moves in closer to cuddle with me, and I stiffen a little. I try to be nonchalant even though my heart is racing so fast I think it will fly out of my chest. I turn around, giving him my back, and his arm remains draped around me. I pretend to fall asleep, controlling my breaths so they will feel slow and even.
But I can’t sleep. I’m trying to figure out what just happened. How did a friendly dinner turn into a sleepover? I could have had sex with him in the car and avoided all of this. Car sex is always fun. Now I’m not having fun at all.
I want to run outside, let the cool air fill my lungs and calm me down. Someone sleeping in your bed is personal. It means you trust them. I don’t trust Luc or any other guy, and I wish he would get out.
***
Beep! Beep! Beep! Shit, what is that? It takes me a second, but I realize my alarm clock is going off. I grope along my nightstand. The irritating beeping sound is driving me nuts, but I can’t find the clock. I can barely open my eyes. It must be six a.m. because my alarm goes off every day at the same time. I’m exhausted. I only slept for two hours, spending most of the night in panic. My chest is tight, and I force myself to take a breath, but I have to make a conscious effort to bring air into my lungs. I feel like shit.
Luc turns over, opening his bright green eyes. My instinct is to move away from him, but that would seem weird, so I inhale and exhale slowly, trying to calm my speeding heart. He drapes an arm around me and I’m suffocating even more.
“Good morning, beautiful. Last night was amazing.” His raspy accent sounds sexier in the morning, if that’s even possible.
“Uh, yeah, it was great. I have to get ready. Sorry.” I force myself out of bed. I need to start breathing or I’ll faint. “I usually go for a run in the morning before class. It helps me to stay focused during the day.”
Completely self-conscious, I throw on a pajama top then head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and put on workout clothes. I’m silently praying that he gets the hint and leaves. I walk back into the bedroom, and Luc is still in bed.
“So we’ll be in touch?” Hint, hint, get yourself dressed.
“Yes, give me your number. We should go out again. Maybe clubbing next time?” he asks, rolling out of bed. My eyes run down his muscular body. I’m so attracted to him, he clearly wants me, and yet the thought of being with him in anything more than a casual encounter sends me running for the hills.
“Sure, sounds great.” I wait as he puts on his pants and shirt. I slip into my running shoes so he gets the picture that I’m leaving. He goes into the bathroom and I hope he’ll be quick because I want him out. Thankfully, he’s fast and follows me out to the kitchen.
“Bye, Alexis, we’ll be in touch.” He gives me a peck on the cheek and I don’t respond.
He looks a little wounded, but I can tell he’s trying not to show it. Shit, he’s the sensitive type. He walks out the front door and I exhale the breath I must have been holding since last night.
Chapter 9
Love
December 2005
“Hey, Lex, the family’s going to spend Christmas at our chalet at Mt. Tremblant. Mom said I could invite you and Ashley along. It’ll be so much fun. I can teach you to ski, and there are some really cool bars there. And since it’s in Quebec, the drinking age is eighteen, so we won’t even get carded,” Dylan said in a rush of words, and I could practically feel his excitement oozing through the telephone.
“Wow, sounds amazing. I need to ask Mom, but I’m sure she’ll be happy to have the house to herself and Daniel for Christmas,” I replied, unable to hide my enthusiasm over the chance to be away from her. Two months before, Mom had come home and said she’d met an amazing man. A chartered accountant was what she had called him. It had sounded like gibberish to me. She’d said his name was Daniel, he was divorced, and incredibly handsome. Things moved like a whirlwind between them. Mom had stopped drinking and begun attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, focusing all her time between ridding herself of her addiction and seeing Daniel.
They were together every second of the day when he wasn’t at work. After two weeks passed, she asked him to move in. It didn’t really matter because he was here day and night anyway. It meant that our abuse had ended, but the scars had penetrated so deep, and our wounds were still raw. Daniel was nice, and he treated Mom like a queen. He made loads of money, giving her everything she’d ever wanted and more. She was totally consumed by him and very busy planning social dinners, nights out dancing, and vacations for two. It made me feel like shit, but what did she care? She finally sobered up and nothing changes besides the fact she interacted with us less.
She never talked about her days as an alcoholic, and we were forbidden to bring it up. She’d made that clear one night after she’d come home from an AA meeting. No apology, no “I behaved badly.” Nothing. I’d read online that one of the twelve steps is to make amends with those you have wronged. Mom obviously skipped that step, and I knew I shouldn’t be surprised, but it still hurt. We knew not to mention those
days and if something accidentally slipped, Mom acted clueless, giving us a puzzled look that seemed more like a warning.
I’d overheard Mom talking with the travel agent earlier on the phone. She’d said she and Daniel were headed to Aruba over Christmas. I wasn’t sure if she’d booked it, though, because she hadn’t said anything. I always dreamed that when she did sober up, she would be the mom who baked chocolate chip cookies and decorated Christmas trees. But that was definitely not the case for Rose White. I tried to look on the bright side when I could, and I was grateful for Dylan and his invitation to Mt. Tremblant. But a girl could still dream of something better. I always told myself that since I’d had such a shitty childhood, my adult life would be better, but who knew what was in the cards for me?
“Well, go ask her. This could be seriously fun,” he persisted.
I still wasn’t used to talking with Mother. She’d only been sober for a short time, and I was scared she’d have a bad reaction to something I said.
I ran downstairs to get permission to go. The truth was that I’d be eighteen in a couple months, so I was almost an adult and could make decisions for myself. But I still needed her okay to take Ashley. Dylan knew I didn’t go anywhere without her. I asked Mom, and she thought it was a fabulous idea since she had indeed booked a trip to Aruba and wouldn’t be around for the holidays anyway. I wondered when she was planning on informing us that she was abandoning us on Christmas. It was for the best anyway. I preferred spending time with Dylan’s family: They were a real family and did real family things. Like a turkey dinner Christmas Eve and opening presents on Christmas morning.
When I’d told Dylan we could come along, he was so happy. At school we made a lot of plans about skiing and under-age drinking. The skiing part made me nervous. I’d never tried it before, and I’d heard the hills were never-ending in Quebec.
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