The day of the trip, Ashley and I crossed the driveway to Dylan’s house, holding our suitcases. It was our first time away from Mom, and it was hard to contain our excitement. Ashley sat in the last row of the Land Rover with Dylan’s sisters, Riley and Noa. Dylan and I sat together in the middle seat, his dad, Robert, was driving, and his mom, Belinda, was next to him. Dylan and I were both chilling and listening to our MP3 players. At one point, I dozed off on his shoulder, waking up three hours later.
“Sorry, Dyl. I was so exhausted,” I said, stretching out my arms and yawning.
“No worries, Lex. It felt nice.” He got a funny look on his face.
When we pulled up to the chalet, Ash and I got out of the car, our eyes glistening with excitement. The place was a big snow village, with a lot of shops and restaurants, and bars lining the main road. I’d never seen anything like it. Beautiful multi-colored Christmas lights made the place look bright even in the dark of night. Large mountains covered in snow and massive trees surrounded us. It was also freezing outside, much colder and crisper than Toronto. My body shook from the inside out.
The girls ran straight for the chalet, which had the same warm, welcoming feeling as the Priestley’s home. It was rustic, with hardwood floors and wood trimming along the walls, thick carpets and a huge fireplace, giving it a homey feel. The chalet was huge and had four floors so we’d all have space to ourselves. On the main floor were the kitchen and family room. Dylan had mentioned that he usually slept on a pull-out couch in the family room, and the girls had their own floor with beds and a bathroom. Belinda told Ashley and me that we could sleep there because there were enough beds for everyone. Dylan’s parents had their own floor just above, with a fireplace and massive hot tub that was outside on a balcony, despite the cold weather.
When everyone got settled in, Dylan nudged my arm, tilting his head toward the door. “We can walk to one of the bars,” he whispered in my ear. We bundled up and walked to the bar in the center of the mini city that made up Mt.Tremblant. It was my first time in Quebec and the mountains were even prettier than I’d imagined. The air was so cold that it hurt to breathe. I hid my face in my jacket and Dylan took me by the arm, guiding me quickly. We entered the bar, which was old-fashioned with wood tables and chairs and didn’t have the sleek, modern look like the bars back home. I got on my tiptoes to reach Dylan’s ear. “We don’t have ID.”
He waved his hand, nodding that it would be alright. Dylan’s eighteenth birthday was January 12th, less than a month away, and mine was two weeks after on January 26th. Being only a couple of weeks apart, we really had spent our whole lives together.
I heard people speaking mostly in French as we sat at a table, and a waiter came to take our order. Dylan asked for a pitcher of beer, and the waiter didn’t even enquire about our ID. We drank and laughed and before I knew it, we’d polished off the whole pitcher. It was way after midnight and we were completely drunk. Dylan paid the bill and we stumbled our way back to the chalet. Dylan hung on to my waist, holding me steady, when I got the sudden urge to sit down on the ground. The snow looked like a fluffy blanket, and I was tired.
“Let’s just sit for one second.” I dropped down to the ground in the middle of the mini street, in the little mini town.
“Come on, Lex. We’d better get back. It’s fucking freezing out here.”
“Really? I can’t feel a thing. I’m nice and warm. Come check.” I grabbed Dylan’s hand and placed it on my face.
“Don’t pull me! I’ll fall over! I’m not very stable right now. Shit.” He lost balance, falling right on top of me.
Our eyes connected, baby blue to dark blue. My body was warm with him lying on top of me despite the fact I had cold, wet snow under my back. His lips brushed mine and the heat intensified. He parted my mouth with his tongue, swirling his tongue with mine. It felt so good, and I had to contain the moan that almost escaped from my lips. Then his lips were gone, and he searched my eyes. I was in shock. No kiss had ever felt that way before.
“We’d better get you back to the chalet. I don’t need you freezing to death out here.” He pulled me up by the hand and we stumbled silently in the dark.
When we got inside, we took off our coats and boots, but we were both shivering.
“Come here. I’ll light a fire in the fireplace. We can warm up,” Dylan said, and I sat next to him on the pull-out couch, which was open and made up with blankets for him. “You can lie down with me for a bit. It’ll warm you up.”
I still shook from the cold, but I shivered from the warm feeling in my stomach from being near him. Holding me close, he laid his arm around me, and we watched the flames jump and pop. My head was in the crook of Dylan’s shoulder, which was nothing out of the ordinary. We’d sat together watching movies on his living room couch a million times before. Tonight felt different; he felt different.
“It’s fun here, eh?” He looked down at me.
“Yeah.”
“Wait until morning. I’m dying to take you skiing. It’s going to be so much fun. Matt came last time and we flew down the mountain together.” His blue eyes sparkled in the glow from the fire.
“I don’t think I can. I’m scared,” I replied. Looking into his eyes, I felt lost.
“Don’t worry, Lex. I would never let anything happen to you.”
“I know.” The words were deep and true. Dylan had always been there for me. When I was hurt, he patched me up. I trusted him with my life.
Dylan gazed at my face, and I saw it again. The look was there. He gulped and I watched his Adam’s apple bob. My mouth watered, and when I looked up into his eyes this time, my lips brushed his. Dylan took me in his arms, thrashing his mouth to mine. Then he suddenly pulled away.
“Lex, we’ve got to stop. We can’t do this right now. We’re too drunk.” My body was on fire, and I didn’t want to stop. Dylan’s chest heaved up and down. But he was right.
“I know.” I put my head on his shoulder, and before I closed my eyes, he mumbled, “I love you” in my ear.
We woke up the next morning side-by-side. My head ached, and I walked over to the kitchen to get some Tylenol and a much needed glass of water.
“Hey, good morning.”
I turned around quickly to see Dylan, his hair all ruffled but totally sexy. Embarrassment rushed through me at the events of the night before.
“So are you still up for skiing today?” he asked.
“Totally. You?”
He nodded. “Great. My mom said she would go with Ashley and the girls to the bunny slopes. I’m taking you to the big times.”
I took a gulp of water and almost choked thinking about skiing down a large mountain. I was such a klutz that I’d end up breaking a bone.
In the village, Dylan rented skis and a helmet for me, and we hopped on the ski lift together. My nerves jangled when I realized we were passing what looked like clouds.
“I don’t think I can do this. We’re above the clouds!” I cried, my voice shaking from fear.
“Don’t worry. I’ll help you.” He gave me a reassuring nod and squeezed my thigh.
We got ready to jump off the lift, and Dylan gave me his hand. But the lift kept moving and the skis felt completely awkward. I tried to get off but ended up flying on my behind. Dylan cracked up in front of me.
“It’s not funny, you jerk,” I scolded him.
“Yes, it is. Come on, we have a lot of work to do.” He put out his hand to help me up, but I was too proud so I struggled until I was able to stand up on my own.
I was supposed to move my knees so I would zigzag, but it didn’t work, and as we made our way down the hill, I knew I was slowing him down. The trail was super long, and I just wanted to give up.
He motioned me with his hand. “Come to the side here, Lex. We can take a break.”
“How long is this trail anyway?” I panted, like I’d run a marathon.
“At the rate we’re going, we’ll be lucky to get down by dinner, but no worr
ies.” He chuckled to himself and I smacked his stomach.
Then he became serious again. “So is this a good time to discuss last night?”
I felt myself turn about three shades of red. I didn’t think he would bring it up.
“We need to talk, Lex.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I stayed silent. I thought I’d heard him say something in my ear before I’d passed out the night before, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear it again.
“I want you!” he yelled. Right there, up high in the mountain, in the middle of the forest, Dylan said seven meaningful words. “I love you, Lex. I want you.”
I stared into his ocean blue eyes, feeling something I shouldn’t have been feeling. A light went off in my mind. Bells rang loudly. I saw Dylan, but it was like I’d entered a bubble, witnessing life through a video camera. Dylan hadn’t really confessed his love for me. It must have been because we were so high up in the clouds; the air pressure had gotten to me. People whisked by down the mountain. I’d been ripped away from reality. He couldn’t possibly love me. I was dreaming.
Why would he even want me, knowing how messed up I was and what type of life I led? He’d fixed my wounds too many times to count. In spite of all of the reasons why he shouldn’t have loved me, I knew what was in my heart. I’d fallen in love with him when I was fifteen years old, and I’d never really stopped.
Dylan’s hands were on my arms, shaking me. “Lexi, Lexi! Are you with me here? Can you hear me? I said I love you.” He was always so gentle with me, so loving.
I looked into his eyes and surrendered. “I love you too, Dylan Priestley.”
Dylan let out the breath he must have been holding in while waiting for my answer. He brought me in close and gently kissed my lips, as though worried I’d blow away in the wind.
I broke away from him, realizing that we were still on the mountain. “Uh, Dylan, how am I ever going to get down?”
“No worries, ski patrol passes by every few minutes. We can ask them for a ride.”
Riding down on a snow mobile sounded a lot more appealing, so we waited for the patrol to come to my rescue, taking me down on a ski doo. Dylan swooshed down seconds later.
“You should continue skiing, Dyl. I can walk around and get a cup of tea or something.”
“There is no way I’m leaving you,” he said, then leaned forward, brushing our lips together. I couldn’t argue with that.
When we went back to the chalet, we spent all afternoon making out by the fireplace.
“This is nice, Lex.”
“I know,” I said, trying to hide the worry.
“What’s wrong?” Dylan asked.
“I’m scared. I don’t want things to change between us.”
“I know what you mean, but things will probably change considering, but you are still my best friend.”
“You’re mine, too. You have to promise me that whatever happens we will always be friends.”
“Of course, Lex. I can’t even remember a time that you weren’t in my life. I plan on keeping you in my life always.” Dylan kissed me again, washing my earlier worries away. But between the weird heat in my belly and the wetness in between my legs, I wasn’t sure what was going on. Dylan was sweet, careful, and nervous to touch me below the waist despite the ache I felt down below.
“Would you like some hot cocoa?” he asked, and I blushed because I didn’t want to stop making out. But I nodded yes.
We sat snuggled together, drinking hot cocoa on the couch.
“This feels so good.” Lexi sighed.
“Yeah, it’s been a long time coming.” Dylan gazed at me. “Come on, Lex, you want to tell me that you had no clue I wanted you?”
The truth was that he had always been special to me, but I’d never really allowed myself to feel. I didn’t answer him and moved my head off his shoulder. He tickled me, and I laughed so hard I thought I might burst. Then he stopped, his face becoming serious. He looked into my eyes then moved down toward my lips. He was so hot, and it was hard to resist him. I thought he was teasing me, so I leaned forward, this time capturing his lips.
The front door of the chalet opened, and I quickly pulled away from Dylan, but our lips must have been swollen from all the kissing. Belinda walked in with the girls, and by the little smirk on her face, it was obvious she knew what we’d been up to. She told the girls to go to their room to get washed up for dinner, but she didn’t say anything to us, and walked into the kitchen to start cooking. My heart raced, and I tried to straighten out my clothes. I got up from the couch and fell flat on my behind, maybe feeling a little unworthy of her son’s love. Dylan laughed at me, and Belinda smiled, watching us through a window that was open from the kitchen to the family room. She for sure knew.
“So you two are together now, are you?” she asked, her eyebrows quirked up.
I couldn’t be the type of girlfriend she wanted for her son. I knew Dylan had never mentioned anything to her about my mom, but I had a strong feeling she knew. I lowered my head, scared of her rejection.
Belinda walked over to me. “Alexis, honey, I never want you to lower your head in my home. You’re a wonderful, kind girl, and I’ve known you since you were born. I only have nice things to say about you. You’re bright, very responsible, and the way you take care of your sister is endearing.”
I stared at Belinda, with shocked, watery eyes. That wasn’t the response I’d been expecting. I wanted to believe her words. I wished I could. My self-esteem had been beaten down so hard by Mom and her negative words. You’re nothing, you piece of shit, useless, stupid. They all rang true in my mind.
Belinda held my chin, looking into my eyes. “Honey, believe me. You’re an amazing girl, and my son seems to think you’re a perfect match for him. I trust his judgment. You kids just enjoy life.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“You don’t need to thank me, honey. I’m simply stating the facts.” She gave me a little squeeze on the shoulder, then walked over to Dylan and kissed him on the top of his head. “It’s Christmas Eve tonight, and it’s nice that we all get to be together,” she said.
This was the best Christmas ever. We’d stopped celebrating Christmas nine years ago when Dad had left, and even when he had been around, my parents had fought all the time.
Ash and I enjoyed an amazing turkey dinner at the long dining table with the Priestley family. It had been a long day, and everyone began yawning early on. I guess the cold, fresh air had tired everyone out. I was exhausted, too. All the excitement and revelations caused a swirl of emotions, ones I’d buried a long time ago. Now that I’d allowed myself to feel, to hope, it overwhelmed me.
Everyone headed upstairs early, and I walked toward the stairs to the girls’ room. I didn’t want Belinda to think I was having sex with her son.
Dylan put out his hand to stop me and pulled me into him. “Let me take one last look at you. I want to remember you tonight by the tree, and the way you looked when I told you I loved you. You look so beautiful, Lex. So peaceful and happy.”
“You’ve given me love, Dylan. You’re the only one I’ve ever been able to rely on, and you’ve made my heart feel whole tonight. And I have to admit that hearing what your mom said really touched me.”
Dylan tilted my head toward him, placing a soft kiss on my lips. A heat built up in me, a reaction I had only to him. He slowly opened his mouth, guiding his tongue to spread open my lips. Our tongues collided in a sensuous circling motion. He was being gentle, but I wanted more. I tried to make the kiss move faster, but he drew back from me, maybe shocked by the intensity of the feelings behind the kiss. I certainly was. We separated our faces and flushed bodies, and I retreated up the stairs, left wanting more of him. So much more.
***
When I woke up Christmas morning, I felt whole. I crept quietly down the stairs because I didn’t want to wake anyone, but when I got to the family room, everyone was already there.
“Hey, babe. Did you sle
ep well?”
Well, that was new. Dylan had never called me babe, but I liked the sound of it. It made me blush.
“You’re so cute, Lex. What am I going to do with you?” He put his arm around me.
“I don’t know, Dyl.”
The right corner of his lip tugged up in the sexy way that only Dylan knew how to do. Then he gave me a peck on the cheek, and his sisters and Ashley burst out laughing. The relationship was definitely going to be interesting. Belinda asked everyone to pack their bags and get ready to head home. Agh! Home. I hated that word. I packed mine and Ashley’s bags like the giddy school girl that I was, focusing on Dylan, my love.
Chapter 10
The Relationship
January 2006
Two weeks later Mom returned from her trip. Her glowing skin and smile revealed her good mood. I’d never really had any girly talks with Mom, and I didn’t feel it was the time to start. The truth is I wouldn’t have known how to have an intimate conversation with her and I’m not even convinced she would have wanted to hear about my life. Ash and I sat huddled together at the kitchen table waiting. I’m not sure for what, but it felt like we should be here to welcome Mom home. Daniel took the luggage upstairs, and Mom entered the kitchen.
“So, girls, how was the holiday?” she asked with an uninterested tone. “Aruba was fabulous, the ocean is crystal clear, and our hotel was so luxurious.” She smiled, looking at her manicure and not waiting for our response. Ashley rolled her eyes while looking at me. Her back was to Mom so she couldn’t see.
“Tell her, Lex,” Ash whispered. This caught Mom’s attention and she crossed her arms over her chest. I scowled at Ash.
“Tell me what?” Mom asked impatiently.
“Lex has a boyfriend,” Ashley blurted out.
Oh! For real! I glared at my sister.
“So, who’s the boyfriend, Alexis?” Mom asked, sounding all prim and proper.
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