Bitter Sweet Love

by R. C. Stephens

  “One moment, please,” says an elderly woman working behind the desk. She begins typing quickly on her computer and nodding her head up and down. “Okay, yes, your husband is waiting for a bail hearing, but that won’t happen until Monday. It’s too late in the day to begin a hearing now.” She says this with a slight sneer, and I wonder if it’s because she knows I’m married to a criminal.

  Again we hit a dead end. They don’t want to give out any information even though I’m his wife. Fear rises inside of me. How will I ever break free from Luc and truly be safe?

  I must have spaced out for a moment because the next thing I feel is Anna’s hand on my shoulder. “Lex, he’s in jail. Come back to the apartment and stay with me at least until Monday, and I’ll come back to court with you. You aren’t alone here.”

  “I don’t want you to miss class on Monday, and if you’re there, you can let me know what I’ve missed. I’ll be fine. You know I can handle a courtroom,” I respond, pretending to be brave.

  “This is different, Lex. It’s personal,” she says softly.

  “Hey, Anna, whatever happened with Callen? Is he connected at all with this mess?”

  “I thought the same thing after you saw Dylan at the club, so I called Callen and we met for coffee. I asked him some questions about Luc, and he really had no clue. His father is a Toronto cop and his mother is a nurse. Apparently his mom’s sister went to France, fell in love with Luc’s dad, married him, and raised her family there. The sisters aren’t close anymore. Callen only met Luc a handful of times before he said he was coming to Canada for a visit.”

  “Hmm, interesting,” I reply.

  “What?” Anna asks.

  “Nothing really. It’s sad that the sisters were separated like that. I wonder if Luc’s dad abuses his mom.”

  “That’s not our problem. Can I please get you out of here now? This place is giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

  I bite my lip. “I know, but having so many cops around makes me feel safe.”

  ***

  The next couple of nights I sleep in my old bed, in the apartment, and it feels warm and comforting. It makes me think of my life when I had some control. Even though I hooked up with lots of guys, it was my choice. I don’t know how I strayed so far from that path. I lie in bed, rubbing my stomach and thinking of the little peanut growing inside me. I need to make things right for this baby.

  The next morning my nerves are calmer, and it actually feels nice to be home. It’s the only place that really ever felt like mine.

  “Hey, sleepy head, I brewed fresh coffee. Help yourself.” Anna points to the coffee maker.

  “No thanks. I haven’t been in the mood for coffee, besides I read in my pregnancy book that coffee isn’t that great anyway.”

  Anna looks at me, her head tilted to the side, holding her cup of java close to her heart and says, “You’re going to make a great mama, Alexis White.”

  I chuckle, secretly pleased. “What are you talking about?”

  “You will. I can see it. Look how you took care of Ash, and even now, in the midst of all your trouble and schoolwork, you read about your baby’s health. You’re a natural.” She smiles and takes another sip of her coffee.

  “That’s sweet, Anna, but I’m not sure.” I open the fridge, hoping there’s orange juice. I have a craving for a nice, cold glass of juice.

  “You were rambling in your sleep last night. I never heard you do that before. It was kind of freaking me out, but you were laughing and sounded happy.”

  I don’t look at her because I remember my dream.

  She squints at me. “What is it, Lex? Spill it.”

  I glance at the jug of orange juice in the fridge and my mouth begins to water. I pour myself a glass and begin chugging it down. Anna stares at me like I’ve grown two heads.

  “What?” I ask.

  “Nothing, it’s just funny how you were savoring that glass of orange juice. I’ve never seen anything like it before.” She laughs.

  “Really? It’s the pregnancy, I guess. Things I never liked taste so delicious.”

  “So.”

  “So what?” I reply.

  “What had you giggling in your sleep last night?” she asks.

  “Right.” I suddenly remember that I haven’t answered her question yet. “I dreamt about Dylan. We had a girl, she was around five years old, and we were at the park playing together and enjoying ourselves. Our daughter was this beautiful blonde with Dylan’s piercing blue eyes. She was wearing a floral dress, and we looked like the perfect family.” I sigh, shaking my head because it was a dream that will never come true.

  “Don’t you think you should call him already? You said it yourself. There’s a good chance the baby is his, and he deserves to know.” She leans forward, determined to persuade me.

  “I know he does and I’m working up to it. I need to get enough courage to do it. I’ll go to court on Monday, figure out what’s happening with Luc, and then see. I hope we can get an annulment because we just got married.” I hunch my shoulders forward into my chest and cover my face with my hair.

  “I’ll get someone to look into it for you, Bandita.”

  “Thanks.”

  Saturday night rolls around, and Anna and I are off to Mickey’s for another night of tending bar and waitressing. I enjoy tending bar because I get so busy mixing drinks that it takes my mind off things. Although in my few moments of reprieve I have enough time to wonder if Luc was freed and if he would come looking for me. At the end of the night we counted our tips and took a cab back to the apartment. I’m relieved to be back into the routine of my old life. But how long will I be able to tend bar before my belly begins to protrude? Mickey wouldn’t want a pregnant lady behind the bar. That’s not a way to bring the guys in.

  I’ve never really made enough money to have any savings. School is expensive and so are my living costs. My anxious thoughts plague me. How will I ever support this baby? Will Luc come after me? Will my life ever be normal?

  Chapter 42

  Who Else Has Been Hiding Things from Me?

  Monday morning comes too quickly. It was nice spending time with Anna, working at Mickey’s, and being back in the apartment, but I have to face reality. Back at the courthouse, things are up and running now that the weekend is over. Walking up to the clerk desk, I introduce myself and try to get information. I notice a man standing behind me, listening to my conversation. I look at him, unsure of what he wants when he begins to speak to me.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to listen to your conversation. I’m Maurice Blanchard, Luc’s father.”

  After his first word, I knew instantly who he was; his accent rolls off his tongue in the same way Luc’s does. He’s tall, like Luc, with the same hue of green in his eyes, only he’s older and has wrinkles. He’s dressed in a very expensive suit. He caught me off guard and I find myself stammering, “Hi, I um-”

  He doesn’t wait for me to speak but extends his hand and says, “My wife and I would have liked to have met you earlier, maybe have gotten an invitation to the wedding. I heard you’re carrying my grandchild. Congratulations. That’s my Luc. Always doing things out of order.” He chuckles and flashes his bright white teeth.

  I’m tongue-tied. He seems to know everything about us, and he’s not what I was expecting. I can see the aura of power around him, and I can’t help but wonder what crimes he’s committed and how he got Luc involved in the business. Just being close to Maurice Blanchard sends shivers up my spine.

  “If you are wondering, Alexis, I have already taken care of representation for Luc. They wanted to have the hearing closed off to the public. I hired an excellent attorney for my son. She should be here shortly, and I’m sure everything will work out. Don’t worry.” He winks.

  He clearly likes to talk a lot and answer questions I haven’t even asked. I wonder who the lawyer is. When she comes walking through the double doors, I know it’s her because she’s wearing a smart suit and heads straight for
us.

  “Hello. Maurice Blanchard, right?” she says, and they shake hands. “Catherine Vanderbilt.”

  The name sounds familiar, but I can’t place it.

  “Don’t worry, Monsieur Blanchard. We will get access to the courtroom. Just give me a few.”

  He must have debriefed her over the phone. She’s tiny and very skinny with curly, brown hair and brown eyes, but she’s like a pit bull in motion. She’s fierce and oozing with confidence. Then a light goes off in my head. I’ve seen her on the news before. She’s defended some serious criminals and senators, among other powerful people.

  She walks back out to the main hall where I’m waiting with Luc’s father, itching to get away.

  “Okay, access granted. The hearing starts in twenty minutes,” she says in a clipped tone and glances at me. “Are you sure you want her in there?” Pointing to me with her chin.

  My mouth drops open. Is she for real? I’m Luc’s wife. Maurice nods and I follow them inside. When we enter the courtroom, I notice a few officers wearing a different type of uniform. I look closely and am startled to see Nathan sitting among them.

  Who else has been hiding things from me?

  Chapter 43

  And I Need to Move On

  Catherine Vanderbilt is the pit bull I suspected her to be. The judge enters the chambers, and everyone rises. There’s a court clerk and a number of officers in uniform, including Nathan. The two officers bring Luc out from a set of doors off to the side. He’s wearing an orange jumpsuit and has handcuffs around his wrists. My stomach turns, and I think I’m going to be sick, but I need to hold myself together. It’s probably good that I skipped breakfast this morning.

  The judge asks Luc to state his full name. Then the court clerk rises and states the charges. “Luc Blanchard, you are being charged with running disorderly gaming houses and betting under section 197, 201, and 202 of the Criminal Code of Canada. You are also being charged under section 462.31 for laundering proceeds of crime and under part four of the Anti-Terrorism Act Proceeds of Crime-Money Laundering Act. How do you plead?” the judge asks with a brusque voice.

  I can’t believe the list of charges. Now I understand why he took me to Kauai. He transferred money to an offshore account. I feel like such a fool.

  Luc stands up, his face pulled down in defeat. “Not guilty.”

  I’m surprised he’s pleading not guilty because they must have a lot of proof if they arrested him.

  Catherine Vanderbilt stands beside him in a navy blue skirt suit. “Your Honor, I request bail be granted to my client pending trial. He is recently married and has a pregnant wife at home. He is clearly not a flight risk.”

  “I beg to differ. Your client has enough money to disappear tomorrow if he so wishes,” the Crown Attorney bites back. He’s a middle-aged man in a slick gray suit. He’s just as tough as Luc’s lawyer and it’s clear neither will back down.

  Catherine rises to speak again. “My client is not a risk. He needs to be by his wife’s side, taking care of her and the baby.”

  Och! I can’t believe that she’s using me and my baby as bait for the judge to garner sympathy. I wish they could lock him up forever and keep him far away from us. Luc turns around, and I can tell he’s spotted me out of the corner of his eye. He’s expressionless. His eyes are swollen with large black bags under them. His pupils look dark and wide and he seems resigned.

  “I have just been informed that we are waiting for more evidence to arrive from overseas. As well, Mr. Blanchard is being charged with laundering money over the sum of one million dollars. Since he’s being charged under the Anti-Terrorism Act, he should be held pending trial,” the prosecuting attorney says smoothly as he straightens out his cufflinks.

  “These charges are bogus. You have no proof that my client has done anything. He is a recently married man and all of his business dealings are legitimate. If you are so worried he’s a flight risk then set bail for two hundred and fifty thousand or show us some proof of these allegations,” Catherine Vanderbilt says with a sardonic grin.

  The judge intervenes. “I understand where both sides are coming from, but given the extremity of the charges and the fact that Mr. Blanchard has the connections to disappear into thin air means that I will deny bail.” The judge gives a pointed look at the police officers and they come to collect Luc.

  Luc glares at Ms. Vanderbilt. Then he looks back at his father, sitting on a bench behind him, not fazed by any of this. Luc bites something out in French, and his mouth looks like he’s spitting venom. I don’t think he was expecting this result and he must be blaming his father. His father seems relaxed and replies something in French. He waves his hand in a way that looks like he’s urging his son not to worry. The officers take him away, and I am not sure whether to feel sorrow for him being locked up because of a life he never wanted or relief that he can’t hurt me for now.

  Lightheaded, I try to stand up, holding onto the bench in front of me, but the room is moving. That’s the last thing I remember.

  ***

  I wake up, not sure where I am. I appear to be in a hospital bed. A nurse is leaning over me, monitoring me. “What happened?” I croak, my throat feeling very dry and my voice groggy.

  “You fainted, doll. But don’t worry. You and the baby are just fine. The doctor will be in to see you shortly.”

  I barely have time to process that when there’s a knock at the door. “May I come in, Alexis?” Nathan peers around the door, with a really guilty look on his face. “Alexis, I shouldn’t be here, but I wanted to make sure you were okay after everything that happened today.”

  My eyes go wide. Why is he here? He was part of the arrest. He played me, and he probably thought I was part of Luc’s corrupt life. “Who are you really? I saw you in uniform in court today. What do you want from me? Just be honest. You really aren’t worried about me. On the beach that day you were only investigating Luc, trying to get me to incriminate him.”

  Nathan gives me a defeated look. “Part of what you’re saying is true. My team has been following Luc for some time. We’ve spent a number of years following him in Europe and recently in Canada and the US. I’ve seen you in the past. But when I saw you on the beach that day, my heart ached for you. You looked so beautiful and delicate and when I saw you fall asleep, I had to wake you.” He pauses. “That’s the truth.”

  “Really? What about the story you fed me about your sister? Was it all lies? Because I felt for you, Nathan. I really did.” I suddenly realize that I’m shouting. But this guy has me seriously pissed off.

  “Alexis, the story about my sister is all true. That’s why I left my country club life and the family business to join CSIS. I moved here and became a Canadian citizen. I wanted justice. It wasn’t a lie.”

  “I considered you a friend,” I say, and Nathan lowers his head.

  “I felt something for you, too, Alexis. Had I not been on the job I would’ve wanted to whisk you away from Luc. I wanted to make sure you were safe when all this information came to light.”

  I know I should believe him, but he was so deceitful. “I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what’s real or fake in my life anymore!” I cry.

  “You fainted in the courthouse. Let me call your friend so she can pick you up. I overheard the doctors say you will be released shortly. Just so you know, I don’t think you heard it, but the judge denied bail. We are waiting for trial, and it may take a couple of weeks. They’re still waiting on some evidence to surface, so there may be a whole slew of new charges. Luc is behind bars so take the time to think about your next steps. I know this must be really hard for you right now, but you are young, beautiful, and smart, and I’m sure you’ll be fine. I can’t tell you what to do, but your husband is an international criminal, and at this point there is a huge list of charges against him. I would say walk away and don’t look back, but I know that’s easier said than done.”

  The doctor walks in, and Nathan steps out of the room to give me
privacy.

  “Hello, Ms. White. I’m Dr. Sturm. Everything’s okay. We did an ultrasound of your baby, and you’re about four months along. Everything looks great. Just try to relax a little bit. Too much stress isn’t good for the baby. From my end of things, I’ll sign your release papers, and please follow the instructions of taking your pre-natal vitamins and getting rest. Good luck to you,” the doctor says, gives my shoulder a little tap, and leaves the room.

  I don’t wait for Anna to pick me up; instead, I take a cab back to the apartment. The next week and a half pass by in a blur, and I’m living in a bubble, unable to face my grim reality. I bury myself in school and work. Nathan’s words are on constant replay in my mind. I need to build a new life for myself.

  ***

  I get back to the apartment after a day of classes. I can breathe a little better knowing that Luc’s still behind bars. It’s good to be back in the apartment, and I look around the empty space. I fill the tub with warm water and lavender scented bath oil. I need to de-stress. All of this upheaval has been bad for the baby, and I need to find my calm. I put on one of Anna’s soothing tunes from her yoga collection and my muscles begin to loosen.

  The door suddenly swings open, and I almost fly out of the bathtub, spraying water everywhere. My heart nearly stops.

  “Hey, Bandita.”

  “Shit, Anna!”

  Anna smacks her hand to her mouth.

  “Don’t you believe in knocking?”

  “Sorry, Lex, but I realized it’s your birthday on Thursday. We definitely need to go out.”

  I gape at her. “Anna, my life’s falling apart. I can’t think about going out and having fun.”

  “It’s your twenty-fifth birthday, and I won’t let it pass you by.”

  Great, now I feel old. “I wish you would let it pass by. You know I can’t drink.”

  “We can still go out dancing or something.” She bites her lip. “I called Ash a few days ago, when you told me to touch base with her. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what was going on with you over the phone. So I just told her that I was calling to set up a party for your birthday and it would be great if she could come in for the weekend.”